The Color Of Her Panties Part 41

"Yes, that must be it," Ida agreed, climbing out.

It did seem to make sense. So they remained a party of six, for the nonce, and Gwenny led the way to the mountain.

They started toward the mountain. The sun was almost singeing the trees to the west. There was just time to make it before the day ended, so that Gwenny would not be disqualified.

Suddenly a monster loomed up on the path before them.

It was ma.s.sive, with the head of a stag but with a single black horn in its forehead. It had four elephant's feet, a boar's tail, and the body of a horse. It lowed challengingly.

Che happened to be in the lead. He stopped. This was certainly a monster, but not a winged one, so it could be a threat to him. "We're only pa.s.sing by," he said.

"Halooo!" it bellowed in its low voice. "You must pay to use my path."

Gwenny stepped forward. "I know you, Hugh Mongous Monoceros! You're always lurking around, trying to take what isn't yours. This isn't your path! This is a goblin path.

"Who says?" the monoceros demanded.

"I say!" she said.

He thumped the ground with an elephantine toe. The ground shuddered.

"Who are you?"

"I am Gwendolyn Goblin, soon to be chief of Goblin Mountain. Now get out of the way before I move you out.

"Ho, ho, ho. It is to laugh. You can't move me out, you skirted goblette. You must pay."

Gwenny brought out her magic wand. She aimed it at Hugh Mongous. One of his forefeet lifted. "Uh-oh," she said.

The monoceros laughed again. "Ho, ho, ho. Is that the best you can do, you cute morsel?"

"What's the matter?" Che asked.

"The wand's weakening," she said. "I've used it a lot today; on the roc and such, and after a while it loses power and has to recharge overnight. The monster is now too heavy for it."

Che looked at the sun, which was hastening to end the day. They could not afford to be delayed long. "Is there another path we can take?"

"Yes, but it will take too long. This is the only direct one from here."

"So you're stuck, goblette," Hugh Mongous said. "Pay."

"This is outrageous!" Gwenny said, stamping her little foot. "We have to get through immediately!"

"We shall just have to make a deal, " Che said, disgusted. He faced the monoceros. "What is your demand?"

"I demand that you pay me something for using my path. Something interesting and different. Such as maybe that magic wand."

"Never!" Gwenny said.

Okra Ogress came forward. "Maybe I can help," she gasped.

"No, you can't!" Gwenny protested. "You're not well!"

"Let me try. I've been trying to think, because that heats my head and sometimes helps clear my throat, and I may have found an idea."

Ida clapped her hands, maiden style. "Wonderful, Okra! I knew you could do it."

Che kept silent. That foolish optimism could become wearing, in time. Okra faced Hugh Mongous. "I have something that you might consider to be interesting and different," she wheezed. "Do you want it?"

"What is it?" the monoceros asked "My asthma. It makes me wheeze."

Che had to clap a hand to his jaw to prevent it from dropping. Could the ogress be serious?

"What a wonderful idea!" Ida exclaimed brightly. There it was again she was thrilled about anything at all.

"It does?" the monster asked, somewhat stupidly. "How loud can you wheeze?"

Okra took a labored breath, then forced it out. WHEEEE-EEZ. The creature would never fall for this! Meanwhile, they were wasting precious time. Che was disgusted.

"I'll take it!" Hugh Mongous said.

This time Che did not manage to catch his jaw in time.

That creature was even more stupid than an ogre. Then Okra straightened up, extending a hand. Here it is," she said, no longer wheezing. She set an invisible something on the monster's nose.

"Wonderful!" the monoceros wheezed. Satisfied, it moved out of the path and let them pa.s.s. They could hear it happily wheezing as they left it behind.

"As a stupid person, you are a complete failure," Che murmured to the ogress.

"I know," Okra said sadly.

They moved rapidly to the mountain. The goblins stared at the three additional folk, but did not attack them because they were with Gwenny.

All three were twice the height of any goblin, but Gwenny chose a tunnel that was large enough to accommodate them.

They trouped to the central chamber. There were Gobble and his henchmen. The brat was holding a soiled harpy feather. He had found the old wives' tail, and figured he had won. He was just waiting for the day to end without Gwenny's reappearance. It was a joy to see his crestfallen look as they entered the chamber.

G.o.diva entered. Her expression was the opposite of the brat's. "You have returned, my daughter!" she exclaimed, hurrying across to embrace Gwenny.

Behind her were the three male goblins who had served her loyally for years, Moron, Idiot, and Imbecile. Che had gotten to know them, and they really weren't bad sorts, for goblins. When the children had wanted to sneak in tsoda popka to subst.i.tute for ugh healthy drinks, these three had always been willing accomplices. G.o.diva had been aware of this, but elected not to make an issue, because she was unusually liberal, for an adult: she thought children should be allowed to have a little bit of fun, if it wasn't overdone. So while G.o.diva was hugging her daughter, the three halfway decent goblins came across to congratulate Che and Jenny, and to meet their new companions.

"These are Moron, Idiot, and Imbecile," Che said.

"Those are their names, and there's nothing odd about them." That was so the women wouldn't laugh. Then, to the goblins: "And these are Mela Merwoman, Ida Human, and Okra Ogress, who are here temporarily until their rocket seed is ready to move again. See that no one messes with it."

"Right," Moron said, hurrying out. The other two remained, looking at Mela.

Che realized what was happening. "Mela," he murmured, "straighten out your slip."

The merwoman quickly adjusted the Freudian slip, which still conspired to give stray males flas.h.i.+ng glimpses of her panty. Che would have to speak to G.o.diva, who was an excellent seamstress, to see about making Mela a regular dress. After all, suppose underage goblins saw? It wasn't as if it was a dull panty; its pattern was a most intriguing crisscross of colors that would surely madden the mind of an adult male.

"But where's what's between a roc and a hard place?" Gobble demanded, recovering some impudence.

"Right here," Gwenny said, gesturing to Okra, who still carried the roc's talon.

"But that's just an old claw! It's supposed to be the fancy egg."

"It was in the stone nest, under Roxanne Roc," Gwenny said evenly. "It was between the roc and a hard place. It qualifies."

"But that wasn't what I meant!" he protested. " I meant the egg!"

Gwenny stared at him. "How could you mean the egg, if you didn't write it? And if you wrote it, you cheated, because you weren't supposed to know what the challenges were."

Gobble was silent, realizing that he could only get himself into trouble. "So okay, you got it. But you're not home free, sis. Tomorrow's the physical combat."

"Physical combat!" Che exclaimed, appalled. "Girls don't do that."

"Yeah. So she loses," Gobble said with satisfaction.

He glanced darkly at the three male goblins with Gwenny's party. "And after that I'll deal with you traitors." Then he slunk out of the chamber.

"I knew there were three challenges, like the ones for getting into the Good Magician's castle," Gwenny said. "know the first consisted of merely being qualified to a.s.sume the chiefs.h.i.+p, which narrows it down to Gobble and me. The second was performance, which we have just finished. The third is physical, but I thought that just meant building something or showing I could hold a club. Combat-I fear that is beyond me."

"But he's just a little brat," Okra Ogress said. "You could club him with one fist."

"No, I couldn't," Gwenny said. "I'm a refined goblin girl, and we are never violent in that way. It simply is not our nature. If we could fight, we would not be nice, and there would be no point in having a female chief to make the goblins nice."

Che saw the logic. "But Gobble cannot be trusted," he said. "We must check the original doc.u.ment. Where is it written how the chiefs.h.i.+p is won?"

Gwenny took them to a small separate chamber. There in a chest to which she had the key was an old dirty scroll.

She brought it out, and they read it.

It was indeed the list of rules for the succession.

"HA!" Che said as he read it. "There is a combat, but it's a combat by selected champions."

"Gobble and me," Gwenny agreed glumly.

"No. By champions you select. So you don't have to fight yourself. You merely choose a tough goblin to fight for you, and if he wins, so do you. Gobble won't fight himself either; he'll have someone bigger and meaner."

"But no male goblin will fight for me!" Gwenny said. "They don't want me to be chief."

Che pondered. "That does present a problem," he said, stumped for a solution.

"But I'm sure you can solve it," Ida Human said brightly. "Because centaurs can solve almost anything."

Then, oddly, Che did get a notion. "But maybe a female could fight for you," he said. "Goblin girls are all nice, but that's not necessarily the case for the females of other species."

"I'll fight for you!" Jenny Elf said.

"No, Jenny, no!" Gwenny said. "You would be no better than I, because you're not mean or tough."

"She's right," Che said. "I meant a female from somewhere else, tough enough to do the job."

"But who would that be?" Gwenny asked. "The females of other species really don't care much about goblin politics. In fact they don't care much about goblins. period.

"I don't know," Che admitted. "But I know how to find her."

"Well, tell us!" Jenny said. "Because there's less than a day to get her here."

"I can't say it directly, until certain arrangements are made," Che said. "Because a certain party has been known to take off without warning, seeking what has been mentioned."

"Oh," Jenny said, glancing at her little cat. "Sammy, come here." The cat did, and she picked him up and held him firmly. "But with a-a certain device I can see where he is going, and-"

"Suppose the one we want is far away?" Che asked.

"You could not keep up. But I think I might." He looked at the goblin girl. "Gwenny, do you have any light cord?

Something that might tie a very light person to another, so that he might be hauled along at whatever velocity is necessary?"

Gwenny nodded. She hurried away. "Imbecile, help me fetch the cord," she said, and that goblin immediately followed her.

"But suppose he goes through some small hole?" Jenny asked.

"We can frame the search to exclude that sort of thing.

"What are you folk talking about?" Mela asked.

"Jenny's cat can find anything except home," Che explained. "So if we ask Sammy to find something, and I follow him, we'll find it. I will be away for a while on that search, but Gwenny will see that you three extra visitors have a room and food for the night. Perhaps tomorrow your rocket will be recharged, and you can be on your way. We do appreciate the way you have helped us, and regret that it has diverted you from your quests."

"That's very nice of you," Ida said. "But it seems that our quests are linked to yours, and that when you have yours fulfilled, then ours will be too. I still don't know my destiny.

He shrugged. "Perhaps. Maybe you are a lost princess, and your kingdom will find you after this is over."

"Or maybe she's someone's twin sister," Mela said.

"And her twin will find her, and they'll live happily ever after.

"Or maybe she'll turn out to have a Sorceress-caliber magic talent," Okra suggested. "Just waiting to be discovered."

"Oh, if only any of it could be true!" Ida said, clasping her hands with longing. "But first we must help Gwenny, if we can. And I'm sure you can do it, Che, because you are so smart and talented."

Che tried to resist the obvious flattery, but it did buoy his confidence. Maybe this desperate ploy wasn't as farfetched as he feared.

Gwenny returned with some twine. "This is spider cable," she said. "It is very light but very strong."

They wove the threadlike twine into a harness that fit about Che's body.