A Hand-book Of Etiquette For Ladies Part 4

A lady is at liberty to take either a gentleman or another lady to pay a morning visit to a friend, without asking permission; but she should never allow a gentleman the same liberty; if he desires to make any of his friends known to her, he must first ask if the acquaintance would be agreeable.

LXXV.

When a lady visits another for the first time, her visit should be returned within a week.

LXXVI.

If when paying an evening visit you should find a party a.s.sembled, enter as you would otherwise have done, but remain only a few minutes, and escape in as quiet a way as possible. Let it be known shortly after, in such a way that it will reach the family, that you were unaware of company being a.s.sembled.

LXXVII.

In calling upon a person staying at a hotel, if she is not at home add your address to your name, else your visit may be fruitless.

LXXVIII.

When about to be absent a long time, make your farewell visit short, announcing the fact; if necessary to leave your card, mark on it T. T.

L. or P. P. C. When you return, those upon whom you have called will pay you the first visit; those whom you have neglected, will properly conclude the acquaintance is discontinued. If you are married while abroad, this is especially the case.

LXXIX.

Visits after a party or dinner should be paid within the week.

Lx.x.x.

Upon the death of any member of a family with which you have a.s.sociated, visits of condolence should not be _personally_ made until after a week or two has elapsed.

RECEIVING VISITS.

Lx.x.xI.

In receiving morning visits, lay aside any employment in which you may be occupied; this will enable you to pay those little attentions, and to say those elegant but appropriate nothings, which make your guests immediately at home, and tend to the establishment of your character as one of _the mode_. When your visiters rise to depart, ring the bell for a servant to open the street door.

Lx.x.xII.

Avoid all appearance of anxiety; yet let nothing escape your attention.

Lx.x.xIII.

When visitors enter, rise immediately, advance toward them, and request them to be seated. If it is an elderly person, insist upon his occupying the arm-chair; if a lady, beg her to be seated on the sofa.

Lx.x.xIV.

In winter the most honorable place is the corner of the fireplace; therefore, if a married lady enters, offer her that seat. If this place is occupied by a young lady, she ought to rise and offer her seat to the other, taking for herself a chair in another part of the room.

Lx.x.xV.

In proportion as the visiter is a stranger, you will rise, and any persons already there, should do the same. If any withdraw, conduct them as far as the door of the parlor.

Lx.x.xVI.

As hostess, in your attentions, consider all your guests equal; the greatest stranger or person of least rank should, if any, receive more attention than others.

Lx.x.xVII.

If your guests are about to remain on a visit of any length, see before their arrival that their room is furnished with everything which can contribute to neatness, and their comfort. Congratulate them upon their arrival, and express the pleasure it gives you; inquire kindly about the incidents of their journey, and request them to make your house their home. Be a.s.siduous in your attentions, and show them every object of interest about the house and neighborhood.

Lx.x.xVIII.

If your guests express an intention of leaving you, affectionately endeavor to detain them; if not successful, renew your invitation for another visit, and express your regret at parting so soon.

Lx.x.xIX.

The art of receiving company can only be acquired by education, experience, or close observation. Have a determination to act naturally, not hurried, and let a desire to please be a ruling principle; you will then generally act correctly.

THE BALL-ROOM.

XC.

Invitations to a ball or evening party should be given in the lady's name, and answers to such invitations should be addressed to her, cards of invitation are usually issued from one to three weeks previous to the entertainment.

XCI.

The hours for the arrival of the guests vary from nine to twelve o'clock: in this you will be guided by the usages of the circle in which you move.