A Hand-book Of Etiquette For Ladies Part 5

XCII.

Never go early to a public ball; and do not be frequently seen at such.

When you do attend, do not dance from the time you enter the room until you leave; it may leave the impression that you have few opportunities of dancing except at such b.a.l.l.s.

XCIII.

As the fas.h.i.+on for a lady's dress for a ball is so constantly changing, it is impossible to prescribe. But we may remark, that the handkerchief should be "fine as a snowy cobweb," and perfumed just sufficiently to render it agreeable. Your gloves should be of white kid, your shoes small and fitting with the nicest exactness.

XCIV.

When you enter the drawing-room, immediately advance and pay your respects to the ladies of the house; until this is done, do not recognise any one you may know. If, as it sometimes happens, the lady is not in the room when you enter, though the position may be rather embarra.s.sing if you do not meet any acquaintances, do not show that it is so, but enter into conversation with your partner or the lady nearest you, until the lady returns, when you immediately pay your respects; which should be a little more marked than when paying a morning visit.

XCV.

If possible, do not enter a room alone. If you have no brother or near relation, you may at any time request a gentleman of your acquaintance, who has not been invited by the lady of the house, to accompany you.

XCVI.

The lady of the house should dance, if at all, but little, unless there is a distinguished stranger present to whom it is desirable to pay a compliment. This is necessary, that you may be enabled to attend to your guests, and make the evening agreeable to them. If you do dance, you may select your partner, who should feel honored by the act.

XCVII.

If the hostess intends to dance, it is customary for her to open the ball: if she does not, the host opens it with the lady of the highest rank present.

XCVIII.

When a gentleman who has been properly introduced requests the honor of dancing with you, you will not refuse unless you have a previous engagement.

XCIX.

At the ordinary public b.a.l.l.s, it is desirable to make up a party sufficiently large to render you independent of the introductions of the master of the ceremonies, as, in spite of his best efforts, objectionable individuals will gain access to such. When a party is thus formed, you can easily and without rudeness refuse to be introduced to any gentleman, by stating that you are engaged; as of course you would be to your friends for that evening.

C.

If a gentleman presumes to ask you to dance without an introduction, you will of course refuse. It is hardly necessary to supply the fair reader with words to repel such a rudeness; a man must have more than ordinary impertinence if he was not satisfied by your saying, "I must decline, sir, not having the honor of your acquaintance;" and recollect that his previous rudeness ought to be punished by your refusing to be introduced.

CI.

Draw on your gloves in the dressing-room, and do not take them off during the evening, except at supper-time, when it should be invariably done.

CII.

Let your dancing be quiet and un.o.btrusive; let your movements in the dance be characterized by elegance and gracefulness, rather than by activity and complexity of steps.

CIII.

In giving the hand for "ladies' chain," or any other figures, you should wear a smile, and accompany it with a polite inclination of the head in the manner of a salutation.

CIV.

Pay attention to the dance, but not so marked as to appear as if that attention was necessary to prevent a mistake. A lively manner harmonizes with the scene; but, to preserve this, it is not necessary to be boisterous. Refinement of manners has, in woman, an unspeakable charm.

CV.

Recollect that your partner is for the time being your very humble servant, and that he will be honored by acquiescing in any of your wishes: for instance, you may wish to promenade, to walk from one room to another, to join your friends; you may require a jelly, ice, wine, or any other refreshment; your dress may have become disarranged; in short, he will feel honored by receiving your commands, and ought to antic.i.p.ate your wishes on most of the above, and many more ordinary occasions. On no account be seen parading a ball-room by yourself.

CVI.

When you are dancing, you will consider yourself engaged to your partner, therefore not at liberty to hold a flirtation between the figures with some other gentleman.

CVII.

Do not mistake affectation for refinement: it would be no less an error than confounding vice with virtue.

CVIII.

Do not make a public room the arena for torturing any simple swain who _perchance_ may admire you a little more than you deserve. Recollect that while you are wounding another's heart you may be trifling with your own peace.

CIX.

When you leave a party before the others, do so quietly and as little seen as possible; first making your parting curtsy to the ladies of the house, if convenient. During the week, make them a visit of thanks, at which you may converse of the pleasure of the ball, and the good selection of the company.

CX.

If you are engaged to a gentleman, do not let your attention be paid exclusively to him--the object of your love should alone perceive it.

CXI.

If you have accepted an invitation, do not fail to keep it unless for the most unavoidable reasons.