A Hand-book Of Etiquette For Ladies Part 8

CL.

Should your servants break anything while you are at table, do not appear to notice it. If they betray stupidity or awkwardness, avoid reprimanding them publicly, as it only draws attention to their errors, and adds to their embarra.s.sment.

CLI.

During the week which follows the entertainment, each of the guests owes a visit to the entertainer. Converse about the dinner, the pleasure you have enjoyed, and of the persons whom you have met there.

CLII.

The mistress of the house should never appear to pride herself regarding what is on her table, nor confuse herself with apologies for the bad cheer which she may offer you; it is much better for her to observe silence in this respect, and leave it to her guests to p.r.o.nounce eulogiums on the dinner.

CLIII.

Ladies should not leave the table before the end of the entertainment, unless from urgent necessity. If it is a married lady, she requests some one to accompany her; if unmarried, she goes with her mother.

COURTs.h.i.+P AND MARRIAGE.

CLIV.

When about to be married send your card with the gentleman's in an envelope to the circle which you intend to visit. They are usually sent by your connexions, or your bridesmaid and groomsman, with your a.s.sistance. The lady's should have engraved on it: "At home, ----, --th inst. at -- o'clock." They should be sent at least one week previous.

CLV.

The styles of card and envelope are so varied that none are more fas.h.i.+onable than others. The cards are sometimes united by a white ribbon, or silken cord.

CLVI.

After marriage you need not retain the whole of your previous acquaintance; those only to whom you send cards are for the future, considered in the circle of your visiting acquaintance. The bridegroom selects those persons among his former a.s.sociates whom he wishes to retain as such.

CLVII.

When the married pair receive company call upon them, offer your compliments, and wish them much happiness in their new sphere. Address the bride _first_. Do not remain longer than a few minutes, unless it is an evening party; when, after paying your respects, mingle with the rest of the company. Retire early from a wedding party.

CLVIII.

Newly married persons should abstain in public from every mark of affection too conspicuous, and every exclusive attention.

SERVANTS.

CLVIX.

Do not imagine that you will increase your importance by _hauteur_ to your own or to other people's servants.

CLX.

At the house of your friend always preface your request to a servant by the words, "I would thank you for so and so;" and do not omit the usual courtesy on receiving it.

CLXI.

Do not scold your servants; you had better turn them away at once. When they need reproof, give them it in a calm, dignified, and firm manner; but on no account, if you can possibly avoid it, find fault with them in the presence of strangers, even though they should let fall the tray with your best set of china upon it.

CLXII.

If you have only one servant, speak of her by her Christian name; if you have more, talk of them by the names of their offices, such as nurse, cook, housemaid, footman, &c., but always address them by their Christian names.

LETTERS AND NOTES.

CLXIII.

In writing, endeavor to make your style clear, concise, elegant, and appropriate for all subjects. Avoid repet.i.tions, erasures, insertions, omissions, and confusion of ideas, or labored construction. If your letter is to an equal or friend, these blemishes may remain; if otherwise, it must be commenced again.

CLXIV.

To write on very coa.r.s.e paper is allowable only for the most indigent; to use gilt-edged and perfumed paper for letters of business, would be ridiculous. The very best paper, but plain or without much ornament, is most to be recommended.

CLXV.

It is extremely impolite to write upon a single leaf of paper, even if it is a billet; it should always be double, although we write only two or three lines. Envelopes are now used almost as much as the paper itself is.

CLXVI.

Use a lofty style towards persons to whom you owe respect; an easy, trifling, or even jesting style toward a friend, and a courteous style toward one another generally.