Unfinished Hero - Raid Part 31

"You're uncertain, we do something else and talk about it later. After we talk about it, maybe you'll want to try it, maybe you won't, but it's your choice, Hanna. You're on your hands and knees on the floor. Not me."

I studied him. I couldn't tell for sure, but it seemed he was upset.

I had to know so I asked quietly, "Are you angry at me?"

His eyes narrowed and his arms around me tensed. "f.u.c.k no."

"Then-"

"Babe, you gave that to me, beautiful. But playing is supposed to be fun for both of us. You play like we play, communication is crucial."

That was great and all, but I was confused. "If you knew I didn't like it, why did you keep doing it?"

"I've done stuff to you; you hesitate but then let go and get off on it. I couldn't tell until you were closer and I moved. I had more planned, saw you were not with me on that, gave you my c.o.c.k."

"Oh," I whispered.

"So promise me. I know you wanna please me and I like that a lot, honey, but don't do that s.h.i.+t again."

I looked into his unusual, amazing green eyes. I felt his hard body under mine, his c.o.c.k still inside me, his arms tight around me and I knew it wasn't Raiden who was going fast.

I was picking up speed, doing it as I fell, falling faster and faster.

For him.

Obviously, I didn't share this.

Instead, I said, "I promise."

"Good," he muttered. He lifted up, touched his mouth to mine, fell back and ordered, "Now slide off me, baby. I'll be back."

I slid off his c.o.c.k and rolled off his body. Raiden leaned in to kiss my jaw and his lips trailed down so the tip of his tongue could glide over where I knew his mark would be before he reached out and pulled the afghan over me. Then, naked, he got off the mattress and moved toward the bathroom.

I gathered the afghan close around my body and stared at his pillowcase.

I'd crawled across a room for Raiden Miller.

And it was him, not me, who stopped it because I didn't like it.

Which made me look back and like it.

Because he just demonstrated (again) he was going to take care of me.

I needed to pull it together and start the process of taking care of him.

I just didn't know how. What I did know was that what I just did was not the how.

So I had to figure out the how.

The next morning...

The minute the hinges on the door screamed after Raiden went into the bathroom to deal with the used condom, I tossed the covers back, grabbed his tee from the side of the bed and pulled it on as I dashed silently across the room to the picture frame.

I needed to understand.

But I couldn't ask him.

Not yet.

I had to learn as much as I could without him.

s.n.a.t.c.hing up the frame, my heart racing, my eyes moved over the faces of the men in the picture.

I couldn't take them in, not yet.

I was looking for Raiden.

I found him, back row, one in, his arms slung around both men at his sides. The one at the end had a scary-huge gun, b.u.t.t to his hip, barrel pointed out. Raiden was smiling, white teeth, eyes crinkled, dark wraparound shades pushed back on his head.

Mouthwatering.

Heartbreaking.

I just got the chance, and pulled up enough courage, to take in the faces of the two men on either side of him before I heard the toilet flush.

I put the frame back where it was, raced across the room to the kitchen-ish area, anxiously searched it and found a coffeepot nearly hidden by boxes and dishes. At the bottom was a thick, black crust.

The hinges screamed right before I s.n.a.t.c.hed the handle of the pot and yanked it out making boxes and bowls teeter dangerously. I turned and saw Raiden exit the bathroom buck naked.

I lifted the pot and asked, "Seriously?"

A smile spread across his face as his feet brought him to me. He pulled the pot out of my hand and tossed it on the mess on his counter where it miraculously found purchase between a box of Fruit Loops and a stack of bowls. His hands then went right to my booty, he lifted me up and I wrapped my limbs around him.

He walked us to the bed, turned his back to it and we went down, me on top.

After we bounced, I lifted up to forearms light in his chest and he announced, "We'll shower, go to Rach.e.l.le's, get breakfast and coffee."

"Affirmative," I agreed and his lips curled up then I declared. "I get battle pay for doing it, but I'm taking an afternoon this week in this crazy den of yours to sort it out so it's livable. By that I mean you can make a pot of coffee and close your drawers since the rest is beyond my capabilities, unless you rent me a sandblaster and give me a credit card at Sears."

His body was lightly shaking under mine when he asked, "What does battle pay consist of?"

"I'll decide later."

"Babe, you make this place livable, whatever it is, I'll pay it."

I grinned at him.

He was already smiling and he kept doing it.

It hit me suddenly that in all the time I spent waiting for him, watching for him at Rach.e.l.le's, when I saw him he would grin at his sister, and maybe if he was in a good mood he would smile, but other than that never did he walk in or move through smiling.

And I'd never heard or seen him laughing.

But he used to do it all the time before he left. I'd watched avidly in the corridors and cafeteria at the high school when he did it. Even if things at home were tight and he lived with the knowledge that his Dad was a ma.s.sive d.i.c.k, he had a good life back then and he demonstrated that frequently.

And now, again, he did both a lot with me.

"I like to see you smile," I told him softly, sliding one hand up his chest, his neck, fingers in his lush hair but I moved my thumb out to stroke his jaw.

"I know, honey, since you find ways to make me do it and you find them often."

I was thrilled he noticed.

So thrilled, I swept my thumb down his jaw then bent to touch my lips there.

When I lifted up again, his arms wrapped tighter around me and he asked, "Plans for the day?"

"s.h.i.+pments piling up. I have to spend the day in town sorting that out and hauling them to the Post Office. This doesn't make me happy because I like making afghans, not packing and s.h.i.+pping them, but life happens, you deal. You?"

"Meet in Denver," he answered.

I pressed my lips together, his eyes dropped to my mouth and one of his hands slid up and into my hair.

"Hanna-" he started, but I interrupted him.

"I didn't get a chance to ask. Did everything go okay while you were away? I mean, an indication of the success of your endeavors is that you returned unscathed but did you, uh... get your man or whatever?"

His eyes were warm and amused at my question, but they grew serious which made me mentally brace.

"Business went good," he answered. "And it sucks we're on this topic, but the time was gonna come and this is that time, so you gotta know, with my business, I'm gonna be away like that a lot."

I had a feeling. My guess was that fugitives did not hang around Willow (or I hoped not) just so he would be able to be home for dinner every night.

Although I had that feeling, I didn't like that feeling. I also didn't explore it and was not going to ask about it.

Now I had it confirmed.

Unfortunately.

"Right," I mumbled.

"The look on your face states plain you like that about as much as me, babe, but that's the way it is and I hate to pile s.h.i.+t on top of s.h.i.+t for you, but it's rare I can take care of business in a couple of days. It usually takes longer and sometimes it takes weeks."

Fabulous, I thought.

I said nothing.

He rolled me to my back, got up on a forearm in the mattress but bent close to me.

"Hanna, my crew, I send them on a.s.signments and I take a cut. It's a low percentage that covers admin only. They do the work, they get the fee. That's not gonna change. I don't live good off their backs and I'm never gonna do that. That means to work toward my retirement plan I gotta take jobs."

"Okay," I agreed, but did it unhappily.

Seeing as Raiden didn't miss much, he didn't miss this.

Therefore his eyes got soft and he threw me a bone. "While I'm gone, I'll touch base frequently."

That mollified me, but only slightly.

"Okay," I repeated.

He dipped closer and informed me, "My retirement plan is a good one, baby. Done at forty."

That was better, but it was also eight years away.

Eight years of criminal activity.

Clearly, my face said what I was thinking because Raiden kept talking.

"Hanna, stop listening to me and start hearing me. I'm tellin' you, my retirement plan means I'm done at forty."

"I heard you."

"Okay, now think about why I'd be tellin' you that."

My brows went up and I guessed, "It's an interesting tidbit to share?"

"No, it's because I expect you to be in my bed when I'm forty."

I blinked as my heart swelled so big, it was a wonder I didn't start choking.

Therefore my voice was wheezy when I forced out, "We've been seeing each other just over a week."

"You crawled across a floor just because you thought it would get me off. I'm pointing that out, not because watchin' you do that was so hot it made me so f.u.c.kin' hard I thought I'd come before you got halfway across the room, which, incidentally, is true, but because that's just one indication of the immensity of what you give me. And you drop to your hands and knees to give it to me, trustin' me with that when we've been together just over a week. You think I'm a man who's got a thing that good, he'll let it go?"

"No," I whispered.

"That would be f.u.c.k no," he corrected.

Holy Moses.

"Raiden-"

"Touchin' base frequently, takin' jobs that'll get me where I wanna be, comin' home and lookin' forward to it for the first time in years, to an actual home, and it's a home I look forward to getting back to because my woman is there. I know it's gonna suck, and it will for years, but that's what I gotta give. Will that work for you?"

A home I look forward to getting back to because my woman is there.