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"I do. " Catherine wrapped both arms around Rebecca's waist and tightened her hold. "You look exhausted. What else is bothering you?"
"Nothing-I'm ne."
"Rebecca." Catherine drew out the word. I can hear the evasion in your voice.
"It's just...h.e.l.l...I don't know how...I need you to know that just because I'm not home..." Rebecca raked a hand through her hair.
* 99 *
RADCLY fFE "Christ, I don't even know how to tell you how important you are to me."
"Oh, Rebecca," Catherine murmured, "you're here. That's how you tell me." She took her lover's hand and led her to the sofa that sat against the wall opposite her desk. Curling into one corner, she drew Rebecca against her with an arm around her lover's shoulders. "Just to have these few moments together makes all the difference."
"It does." With a sigh, Rebecca pillowed her cheek against Catherine's shoulder. "I just have to be with you and something inside me settles." She tilted her head enough to meet Catherine's eyes. "Some days, I'm not sure how I would keep going without you."
"Oh, Rebecca," Catherine murmured, gently stroking Rebecca's face as she pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I love so many things about you. Your strength, your conviction, your need to right the wrongs in a world where those things don't seem to matter to many people any longer." Unconsciously, as she spoke, she caressed Rebecca's back, urging Rebecca to relax against the curve of her body. "But more than anything, I love being important to you. I love knowing that my loving you makes a difference in your life."
"I don't know how I held on until you, Catherine." Rebecca closed her eyes and let peace take her. In Catherine's arms, she relinquished the memories of so many nights when loneliness of the spirit and desolation of the heart had scoured her, leaving her hollow. Of the years lled with alcohol-induced numbness and meaningless encounters with women whose names she could not remember. "I love you."
"I love you."
Catherine sensed Rebecca drift away and held her ercely.
"I was happy with my life, before you," Catherine whispered, stroking Rebecca's hair. "I had everything I wanted-my career, good friends, satisfying interests." She rested her chin against the top of Rebecca's head and reveled in the sharp, clean scent of her. "You brought me to the re, Rebecca. You brought me to the pa.s.sion. Oh, darling, you are my life."
In the still room, Catherine watched the rest of the hour pa.s.s, listening to her lover's quiet breathing, guarding her as she slept.
Providing this one woman refuge, creating for her a place to rest, a place to heal, brought Catherine the ful llment she hadn't known she'd needed.
* 100 *
Justice Served "Darling," Catherine nally murmured.
"Hmm?" There had been a time when Rebecca would have snapped into immediate consciousness at the slightest sound, already reaching for her gun. But now, she lingered on the edge of waking, reluctant to relinquish the safety of her lover's embrace.
"It's time," Catherine announced gently.
"I know." Rebecca eased away but kept one arm around Catherine's waist. "I had intended to ask you out to dinner at Chucksteak Charlie's."
"Oh, I can't believe we missed that!"
Rebecca grinned. "Sorry."
"This was much better." Catherine leaned forward and kissed Rebecca softly. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For letting me love you."
Rebecca gave a short, incredulous laugh. "Letting you? Jesus, like I have a choice."
Catherine smiled. "Good. Remember that."
"Always." With a sigh, Rebecca stood and stretched, rubbing one hand briskly over her face. "I'll probably be late again tonight."
"Be careful." Rising, Catherine threaded an arm around Rebecca's waist to walk her to the door. "I'll see you when you get...home."
Home.
The word lingered in the air between them as Catherine searched Rebecca's face. When will you let it really be our home? In your heart, and mine? She knew the question must show in her eyes, because a shadow pa.s.sed through Rebecca's. She waited and watched Rebecca struggle with that nal barrier, knowing that tonight would not be the night that it fell.
"I'll see you later," Rebecca said at last, sweeping her ngertips over Catherine's cheek.
"Yes." Catherine kissed her one more time and stepped away. "Be safe, darling."
v Mitch.e.l.l dragged her eyes away from her twin and strode directly to Sandy. In a low voice, her back to Erica, she asked, "You okay?"
* 101 *
RADCLY fFE "I guess." Sandy's gaze ickered from her lover's face to that of the woman who watched them intently from across the room, her expression devoid of emotion. Except cold calculation. "Jesus, Dell.
What the f.u.c.k?"
"I can explain." A frantic edge of desperation underlay Mitch.e.l.l's voice. She caught Sandy's wrist in her hand, expecting her to pull away, but the inch at her touch cut even deeper than withdrawal. "Sandy.
Please. Just give me a chance to nd out what's going on."
"That would be good, don't you think?" Sandy's voice was at, her eyes empty. "I'd sort of like to know that myself." She couldn't seem to keep her eyes off the other woman. "Jason must've thought she was you, because he keyed the elevator automatically. He was probably so busy with his head up some computer he just glanced at the monitor."
"She's my sister . "
"Well, duh. " Sandy grabbed Mitch.e.l.l's waistband and yanked her a few more steps back until they were almost in the kitchen alcove. In a low voice taut with nerves, she said, "She's been here almost an hour and hasn't said word one. Except to ask if Of cer Mitch.e.l.l resided at this address. Oh, and to introduce herself as Lieutenant Mitch.e.l.l. f.u.c.k, she's like a zombie in a slick uniform."
"That's her normal att.i.tude."
"You could've warned me she was coming!"
"I didn't know. "
"Then how about mentioning a carbon-copy sister running around?"
Sandy glanced at Erica again. "She's watching me like I'm going to lift your wallet." She s.h.i.+vered. "G.o.d, she looks just like you."
"No, she doesn't," Mitch.e.l.l said, her voice brittle and tight.
"When she walked in, I thought at rst..." Sandy shook her head.
"I'm glad I kept my clothes on."
Mitch.e.l.l laughed quietly, the rst glimmer of hope returning to her heart. Sandy seemed more freaked than p.i.s.sed. "I'm telling you, I didn't know she was coming. I don't know why she's here. I have to talk to her."
"Yeah, you do." Suddenly serious, Sandy extricated her arm from Mitch.e.l.l's grip. "I'm gonna take off."
"No," Mitch.e.l.l said, more loudly than she intended.
"Yes, Dell," Sandy said stif y. "Whatever's going on here, it's...
family stuff."
* 102 *
Justice Served "You're the only one who matters to me." There was something verging on panic now in Mitch.e.l.l's voice. "Please. Please don't leave me."
Sandy's eyes narrowed as she stared at her lover. "Is she going to do something to you? Hurt you somehow?"
"No," Mitch.e.l.l said with a shaky laugh. "No. I just...I just don't want to lose you."
"Lose me. Lose me how, Dell?"
Mitch.e.l.l couldn't breathe. Sweat trickled from her hair down her neck. Her stomach threatened to heave. "Don't let them chase you away."
"Them? Who?"
"The people who say we're wrong." Mitch.e.l.l's voice was barely a whisper, and her face was ashen. Her eyes, normally so clear, were unfocused, clouded with past torment.
"Dell. "
Mitch.e.l.l twitched and blinked. She focused on Sandy's face, relieved to see the temper in Sandy's eyes. "Yeah?"
"You know what I said before?" Sandy asked, placing her palm along the edge of Mitch.e.l.l's jaw. "About you being pretty smart for a cop?"
"Yeah?" Mitch.e.l.l trembled, holding her breath.
"I take it back." Sandy traced her ngers tenderly down Mitch.e.l.l's neck and rested her open hand against her chest, caressing her softly.
"I'll see you later, rookie."
"Sandy."
There was an interminable moment of silence, or so it seemed to Mitch.e.l.l. Please. Please I need you.
"I promise, Dell," Sandy whispered.
v Mitch.e.l.l didn't move until she heard the faint whisk of the elevator doors open, then close, and the distant whir of the motor taking Sandy away. She waited another twenty seconds, steeling herself, searching for anger to be her strength. Then she turned and faced her twin.
"What are you doing here?"
"Who's the girl?"
* 103 *
RADCLY fFE "I asked you rst."
"The hospital needed some kind of insurance information, and they didn't have a current telephone number. At least not one you answered.
Apparently they got your emergency contact information from an old form on le at the police department. It took me a few calls, but I nally got someone who'd said you'd been detailed here recently." She surveyed the loft. "I take it they didn't mean here, precisely. Interesting setup."
Mitch.e.l.l ignored the unspoken request for an explanation. It wasn't she who needed to explain. "Why did you come?"
"I'm your sister, Dellon."
"And that's supposed to mean something?"
Erica's eyes, the same deep blue as Mitch.e.l.l's, sparked with ire.
"I'm not the one who relinquished my commission. I'm not the one who walked away. I'm not the one who left everything-and everyone- behind."
"Like I had some kind of choice?"
"You had a choice. You had a choice before you ever got into bed with-"
"That's enough." Mitch.e.l.l didn't raise her voice, but it whipped through the air between them like a hand striking esh. "You should leave."
Erica's body was rigid, her shoulders back, her arms straight at her sides. She looked like a recruiting poster, clear-eyed and righteous with purpose. "d.a.m.n you." Her voice was surprisingly soft, nearly plaintive.
"Do you know how much it hurt me to lose you?"
"I know." There was no sympathy in Mitch.e.l.l's voice, only bitterness. They had shared the same womb, the same birthday, the same hopes and dreams. They'd been closer than lovers. She'd bled from the loss as if from an amputated limb, until her heart had run dry.
"That girl...she can't be more than sixteen. You can't seriously be-"
"Leave it alone, Erica."
"Have you lost your mind, Dellon?" Erica nally broke form and approached Mitch.e.l.l, stopping a few feet away. They did not touch.
"You threw away one career. Now you're willing to risk another for someone like that?"
"Someone like that," Mitch.e.l.l said very slowly. Her entire body * 104 *
Justice Served quivered; the hairs on her arms stood up from the tension wiring her skin. She was afraid if she moved, she'd burst into ames and never be able to contain the rage. "Oh-you mean not shallow and ckle?"
"Robin I could almost understand," Erica spat, "but her? She's nothing like...us."
"No, she's nothing like us." Mitch.e.l.l's voice was dangerously soft. Her hands cramped from the effort to keep them at her sides. She wanted to break things. "She's nothing like Robin, either, is she? And we both know how virtuous and honest Robin was."
"She made the right decision. You should have too."
Mitch.e.l.l's head snapped up and she had to step back, back from the wrath left unrequited for so long. "I chose an honest life."