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By Friday, I wasn't even looking forward to the weekend. Between staying home with DiDi and being in the same school as Mace, I didn't know which was worse. Especially since the last two times Mace and I talked, I had pretty much shut a door in her face.
"Hey, G." Trip had run to catch up with me in the hall before last period.
"Um, hey." I tried to make my voice sound as natural as possible. I really just wanted to get out of there.
He pushed the hair off his face. "Do you want to come over?" Then he nudged me and smiled. "I promise, no zombie movies. We'll just... we can do whatever you want...."
My eyes started to sting. "Really?"
He nodded. He wasn't saying it, but I knew he wanted to be there for me. That it was hard for him to see me have that fight with DiDi. That it was important for him to help make me feel better. He didn't say it. And he didn't write it. But I still knew.
Then I thought about his mom and Mace's mom. The best friends who were probably teamed up against me and DiDi. "But will your mom mind? You know, with all the stuff..."
"My parents are doing some spa getaway, and they asked Rosa to stay at the house. So it's just you and me. We'll get pizza and talk and just hang out. Okay?"
I nodded.
"Good. I guess we have to ask DiDi?"
We had barely spoken all week, but now I would have to talk to her. And she would have to answer.
"We'll stop there after school. She'll say yes." He pointed to himself and gave me a crooked smile. "Remember? The power of Perfect Boy."
"Yeah, yeah. DiDi is a fan. Don't get a big head."
"Meet you out front after last period."
"Okay. And, Trip?"
"Yes?"
"Just... thank you."
Walking through town with Trip, I could feel my chest begin to fill up with the kind of light and air that only comes when you have something good to look forward to. If I could get by the next few minutes with DiDi, then nothing could go wrong. You'd think a brain like me would've figured out by now it doesn't work that way.
Mace was in the salon with DiDi. She and the other stylists were gathered around and talking. That happy feeling flew out of me like someone had left the back door open.
"Trip!" DiDi called out. "How's the handsomest boy in town?"
"Hi, DiDi."
"Oh, you charmer, get over here. We're going to order a pizza. Do you want to join us? Hey, Double-I mean Leia." DiDi's voice got quieter.
"Hey, DiDi," I said softly. For some reason, I thought about her staying in that tent all night in a storm so I could go to the best school possible.
Trip turned to me. "Do you want to? You know, just hang here?" He watched my face in that studying way he had.
"Oh. Well. If you want. It's just... we were going to watch a movie at Trip's house... if it's okay with you, D."
DiDi waved a hand. "Oh, that sounds more fun. Mace, honey, go on and join-" She stopped herself. Like she'd just remembered that very second that the girl she was hanging out with was mortal enemies with her own flesh and blood.
I could feel my hands clenching into fists. Any piece of me feeling warm again toward DiDi was gone.
Mace didn't even glance my way. "I think I'll stay here. I'm just not in the movie mood."
DiDi looked from me to Mace, and I didn't know why she looked so sad. "Okay, then. Have fun. Do you need me to drive you in the Blue Bomb?"
"That's okay," Trip said. "We have time to catch the late bus there and our housekeeper, Rosa, can bring G home. Thanks, DiDi."
DiDi reached up and pushed the hair out of his face like she'd done the first time she met him. "Well, thank you."
Back at Trip's house, it was like I could breathe again. We hung out and talked and ordered a pizza, which Rosa put out on the dining table for us with plain old paper plates and paper napkins.
"Let's go to the hill," Trip said after dinner. "I don't want to miss the sunset."
Sunsets on Trip's hill were something else. The sky over the water turned pink and purple like they were the only two colors in the world. We lay in the gra.s.s, looking up at the wide world, thinking that nothing could ever be better.
"G-Girl," Trip said into the sky.
"Mmm-hmm."
"Are you... do you want to talk about... you know..."
I shook my head.
"You can if you want...."
"I know," I said. "And I know you'll listen and-thank you for that." I'd never realized what it was like to have someone always listen to me, till this year with Trip. And maybe that was a good thing and maybe that was a bad thing, because it also made me realize how much I wished DiDi did. "Sometimes I feel like all you do is listen to me yak away. I wouldn't blame you if you were-well, if you wanted to hang out with someone who didn't talk so much...."
Trip didn't say anything.
"And DiDi-" I paused. "Well, she says no one likes going down a one-way street all the time... so, you know... I'm a good listener, too."
We lay there a little longer in the quiet purple, not saying a word.
I heard him sit up, so I did the same. We sat there, cross-legged, facing each other.
He reached out one finger and touched my forehead. "I like your star."
I reached up and rubbed it. "Oh. Well, you know, I used to hate it, but DiDi says being born with a birthmark like this is like a sign. That I was meant to study the stars like Mama did-well, like the way she wanted to, I mean."
"I like that it's white... and a star. I always think of birthmarks as just brown blotches. I have one on my knee, but it's not shaped like anything cool. Well, Billy thinks it looks like Florida."
We were quiet again. We were so close, our knees were right up next to each other. Barely touching. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a bent-up KOB. It looked like maybe it had been in there for a while.
There was nothing written on the outside. "Wait till I get home?" I said.
He paused for a long time. "Just... wait. Can you not open it till I ask?"
I nodded and took a deep breath. His Wish Pie eyes were so close. As we sat there just sort of looking at each other, time pa.s.sed by. Pure and perfect. I thought about how I'd never even come close to kissing a boy before. I closed my eyes and leaned forward.
"Trip? Leia? Is that you?" Trip's mom and dad were marching up the hill toward us. They each had a c.o.c.ktail in their Giant Supply Store gla.s.ses. I guess you don't have to go back for as many refills when your gla.s.s is that big.
I scrambled up, thinking about how it looked, Trip and I with our faces almost touching.
"Trip, Dad and I are having the-we're having friends over for a late dinner. We can take Leia home before they get here."
"But we wanted to watch a movie-and aren't you supposed to be at a spa weekend or something?"
Trip's dad gave me this weak look. If DiDi had been there, she probably would have said something about pants and who was wearing them and who wasn't. I straightened up right away. "Aw, it's no problem. DiDi likes when I'm home early anyway."
But all I wanted was to be on that hillside with Trip.
"Thank you, Leia," said Mrs. Davis.
I grabbed each side of my mouth with imaginary fingers and pulled as hard as I could till I was smiling back.
twenty-eight.
The next day, I zipped by DiDi in the kitchen and mumbled something about going to the library, but instead, I walked through town by myself. I thought about being on the hill with Trip. I thought about how alone I felt. And then I thought about it some more. And then in the middle of all that thinking, I saw the reflection of a woman in a store window. She paused ahead of me on the sidewalk. She seemed to glance back at me and then stop and look again. She turned and asked a pa.s.serby something. She looked lost.
I knew the lost woman was not Mama.
I knew because she was alive and my mama was dead.
But I followed her anyway. Just for a bit. Because truth is, right at that moment, I really needed a little What If.
I watched from down the street as she ducked into this little store. I waited a minute and then followed her in.
The door made a pretty little bell sound. I stepped inside and closed my eyes. It smelled like candles and perfume and fancy paper.
"May I help you?"
I heard myself answer, "Do you carry Revlon's Cherries in the Snow lipstick? In the Cla.s.sic Gold Case, please?"
I opened my eyes.
The salesclerk was an older woman. Not like Granny Old. More like Older Aunt Old. She had on this pretty sweater with a little gold chain that held it together in the front. I looked around for the woman who was Not Mama. She had gone straight to the counter in the back and was talking to a man about some kind of skin cream.
The salesclerk in the pretty sweater peered at me over her little gla.s.ses, but her voice was kind. "I believe that shade has been out of production for quite a while now. Years, actually. How do you even know it?"
Our eyes met. And the way she smiled at me, right then and there, I just knew she didn't have a stopwatch in her pocket.
I started talking. "It was my mama's favorite lipstick. The only one she'd ever wear. If she went into a drugstore and they were out of it, she'd go into the next one and the next one and the-next." My voice started to squeak. I did that trick where you keep your eyes open real wide. Trying not to blink, because I really did not want to cry in front of this nice lady with the pretty sweater, held by a gold chain. "At least, that's what my sister, DiDi, always said."
The woman nodded. "I'm Ida." She held out her hand. Then she held out a tissue.
"Hi, Miss Ida, it's nice to meet you." I took a deep breath. "My name is Galileo."
"Galileo? Ah! After Galileo the scientist?"
I nodded.
"A heavenly name. Far more appropriate for a pretty young girl than an old man, if you ask me."
"Well, truth is I never liked it, but DiDi always calls me GiGi... till this year. I, um, kind of decided to try being called-Leia." I wasn't sure why I was talking to her like this or why it mattered what she thought. "Do you-like it?"
"I do," Ida said right away. Like she'd made up her mind in that second. "You're taking charge of your own destiny, and I like that very much. Highly commendable in a young person."
I exhaled and looked around. The Cottage Pharmacy. With a whole counter of beautifully shaped soaps and hair clips and even some s.h.i.+ny jewelry. Ida didn't look like a real drugstore clerk. I mean, she looked like a real person, but maybe like a real person on a TV show about real people who are better looking and better dressed than most real people. Which, to tell the truth, was pretty much the way this whole town looked.
"You know..." Ida tapped her chin with a finger. "I do remember a customer who came in here talking about a lipstick that she wanted-one that had been discontinued... hmmm."
The lady who was Not Mama had paid the cas.h.i.+er and was now heading for the door.
I turned my head.
She walked out.
I began to take a step in her direction. Then stopped.
Ida was looking at me like she was trying to figure something out. "Teddy?" she called. "Will you cover the front of the store for a bit? I'm just going to be in my office with Leia here."
This nice young man peeked around the aisle. He waved at me and said, "No problem, Ida."
And the next thing you know, we were behind the counter and going through this door with a big bulletin board that had crisscrossing pink and green ribbons all over it, held down with bright bra.s.s tacks. Stuck between the ribbons were all these photos and notes. Now, I'm not sure why anyone would ever send mail to their drugstore, but the Cottage Pharmacy had tons.
Birth announcements!
Thank-you cards!
It just made me happy that Ida was letting me come into her office. I'll bet none of those people thanking her were invited back there. On the doork.n.o.b, there was a sign hanging from a ribbon with a tiny patchwork frame that had the words PRIVATE! PLEASE KEEP OUT! in tiny little pink st.i.tches. Why, even her KEEP OUT sign was pretty and polite.
The door led to a little hallway where there was a coffee machine and a little basket of mini-m.u.f.fins. A restroom. ("Do you need to use the ladies', Leia?" to which I answered, "No thank you, ma'am.") And a gla.s.s door at the far end, which led to the back parking lot. Right before that was a plain door that said EMPLOYEES ONLY.
Ida took out a key and opened the door. I guess I expected the office to be as pretty and decorated as everything else, but I have to say it was mostly businesslike. A big computer and stacks and stacks of notebooks and little pieces of scribbly paper stuck everywhere. Boxes were piled up in one corner-some opened, with those little foam peanuts spilling out. I loved foam peanuts. Whenever I could get ahold of them, I'd use them to torture DiDi. She was terrified of the sound they made rubbing and squeaking together. It always made her scream and run away, laughing hysterically. But it never bothered me. Funny, the things people run away from.
"Here, Leia," Ida said. "Take a seat and let's see if we can at least get you started."
She turned on her computer, which began to hum nicely and then gave a little piano chord. Like it was ready to play.