Tallie's Knight Part 31

Magnus frowned. He knew full well who he was. She'd spoken of him almost every day since they had left Carlotta's, just like this--out of the blue--indicating how constantly he was in her thoughts.

He wished there was something he could do about it, but there was nothing. He'd racked his brains, over and over. It was his unexpressed opinion that the boy was probably dead, but he would rather cut off his hand than say so and distress her further. But he could not bear to see his vivacious little bride so wan, and his inability to do anything about it chafed him unbearably.

"No doubt one of Carlotta's relatives will find him," he said bracingly.

"They do turn up in the most unexpected places."

He inclined his head towards the couple standing at the rail near the bow of the s.h.i.+p. Monique and Gino--the handsome young nephew who had followed them to Switzerland and then Austria. Finally, in Berlin, he had convinced Monique to marry him.

"I hope I won't be obliged to provide homes and jobs for all of'Carlotta's relatives," Magnus murmured jokingly in her ear.

"I.

doubt even d'Arenville Hall is big enough for them all. "

Tallie smiled, but it was still a trifle too wistful for his liking.

d.a.m.n it, he wished he could do something.

It was almost an anticlimax to land at the placid English town of Southwold, with its small fleet of sailing boats and its line of little bathing boxes arrayed along the beach.

They found an inn, and Magnus and Tallie entered while John Black went to hire a coach and horses. The smell of new- baked bread and roasting beef informed them dinner was almost ready. Tallie's stomach rumbled as they sat down to table in a private dining room. Magnus smiled.

"It smells very good, does it not, my dear? At last--fresh bread and good honest English beef with no fancy sauces. And plain baked potatoes and boiled vegetables." He rubbed his hands.

"A real pleasure after all that foreign food and our recent rations of pickled pork and s.h.i.+p's biscuits."

Tallie cast him a look of burning reproach.

"At least we always had plenty to eat. We were never in danger of starving."

Magnus gritted his teeth. It was not his fault they had not been able to stay and search for her brother, blast it! And he was getting fed up with feeling guilty about it. He had his wife to protect--and her unborn child! What did she expect him to do?

Take a pregnant wife on a wild-goose chase, searching for a child who'd been abandoned in the mountains G.o.d only knew how long ago! No child would have survived that. Even without the added danger of the war, it would have been an exercise in heartbreak--and he knew whose heart would break. And he was d.a.m.ned if he'd allow it!

"You cannot prevent your brother starving by starving yourself," he said bluntly.

"And besides, you have another child to consider."

"Oh, yes, I am well aware of that!" she retorted, suddenly angry with the way he kept trying to divert her from speaking of her brother.

"A.

more important child-your child, the heir to the great d'Arenville name. Not some poor little lost, half- foreign b.a.s.t.a.r.d--' She stopped, clapping her hand to her mouth, horrified by what she'd suddenly blurted out.

"A b.a.s.t.a.r.d?" said Magnus, frowning.

"Your brother is a b.a.s.t.a.r.d? He is only a half brother, then?"

"No, he is my brother'." she insisted angrily.

"I do' not care what Mama may have done, or who his father may have

been. I do not care a rush for what anyone may say--he is mybrother!""But-' She pushed her chair back from the table and said bitterly."I planned never to tell you. I knew how it would be. The n.o.ble family of d'Arenville must never be tainted with such as he."

She glared at him.

"Oh, do not bother to deny it, Magnus, I can see from the look on your

face what you think. That is why I never told you why it was so important to me to find my mother's grave, why I went off into the mountains to search for him without your permission.

I knew what you would say, knew you would find some way to prevent me finding him. "

"I was not responsible for the blasted war breaking out again!"

She waved his objection away.

"I know that! But even with 3 out it you would not have taken me into the hills to search, would you? "

He met her level gaze.

"No, I probably would not have allowed my pregnant wife to drag herself around the mountains on some wild-goose chase--' " Exactly! And if I had found him, what then? "

Magnus hesitated.

"You would have considered him an embarra.s.sment, wouldn't you?" She nodded, as if she had read confirmation in his eyes.

"I thought as much. You would have sent him away to be hidden from the eyes of the world, wouldn't you? Farmed him out with a tenant--the more obscure and distant the better, no doubt." She sniffed.

"And you wonder why I did not tell you."

She seemed to have it all worked out, he thought dully.

She thumped her fist on the table.

"Well, I won't have it. Do you hear me, Magnus? As soon as this frightful war is over I will go back there myself and search until I have found him. Do you understand? And I will bring him home and we will be a family. I do love you, Magnus, but if you do not like it, you can... you can disown me!" She burst into tears and fled the room.

Magnus sat there, unmoving, his face stiff and hard. So that was what she thought of him, was it? That he would be so shocked by a b.a.s.t.a.r.d half brother. an unknown b.a.s.t.a.r.d half brother who meant more to her than. and that he valued his family name more than. You can disown me. The choice she expected him to make.

Yes, her news had come as a surprise to him. What man would not be shocked? But he had said nothing. nothing to make her think. She certainly seemed to feel she understood him well enough to predict his reaction. She'd been judge, jury and executioner.

Would he have predicted her reaction with such complete and utter certainty? Yes, he realised ruefully. His wife was nothing if not predictable. She was loyal. and loving. It was not in her to turn her back on anyone who needed her--not a b.a.s.t.a.r.d half brother. Not even a cold-hearted earl. She still claimed to love him. He still found the notion terrifying. even though he had come to depend on it utterly for his happiness.

Happiness. Six months ago happiness had been a foreign concept to Lord d'Arenville of d'Arenville Hall. As had love. He loved his wife. He recognised the truth of it now. He loved her, loved Tallie, with an intensity that rocked him to his soul. And he had no way, no words with which to tell her.

The words sounded easy enough, simple enough to say.

The words came to others so easily--a lie to smooth a path, to get a diamond necklace, to flatter, to deceive. He had never been able to utter the lie before. Had never expected to wish to.

But now he loved her.

And he could not say the words.

She wouldn't believe him anyway, he decided. Not after what she had just revealed. She thought him a cold, proud man, who cared only for his family name. Her reading of his character had shocked him, hurt him. Because there was an element of truth. She expected him to disown her b.a.s.t.a.r.d half brother and to force her to do the same. And six months ago, before he had met her, he might have. Six months ago he would have had every expectation that a wife of his would no more acknowledge a foreign-born b.a.s.t.a.r.d half brother than walk naked down St. James's Street. But that was six months ago.

A great deal had changed in six months--not the least Lord d'Arenville. Magnus drained the tankard of ale at his elbow and called for another. He knew what he had to do.

"That is d'Arenville Hall?" Tallie peered out of the coach window, looking up at the imposing edifice with some trepidation. It was enormous. A great grey building, heavy with carved, ancient stonework, glittering mullioned windows the only sign of life.

"Your future home, my lady," murmured Magnus behind her.

Tallie blinked. She could not imagine herself as mistress of such an impressive establishment. And as for a small boy who'd been raised by Italian peasants. "It ... it's very grand," she said at last, casting him a quick glance.

He still had that. that stony look on his face. He hadn't forgiven her for her outburst yet.

He seemed deeply offended by her desire to provide a home for her brother. It upset Tallie to think of it, and she was distressed by his coldness towards her, but she had resolved not to give in to him on this. Her husband would have to learn to accept that at times she could be just as stubborn as he.

And if she couldn't go into raptures about his home she was sorry. It was very difficult to manufacture delight she didn't feel, especially difficult when he kept looking at her like that.

It was her fault, she knew. She had annoyed him with her defiance, and he was punis.h.i.+ng her with his stiff and starchy manner. But now that they'd finally arrived at her husband's home she would have the opportunity to mend their differences. Hopefully they would share a bed once more. Their differences had a better chance of being sorted out there, in her experience. Tallie sighed. It had been a long time. She'd had to share her s.h.i.+p's cabin with three other ladies. She missed him in her bed most dreadfully. missed the comfort of waking in the night, feeling his warm body beside hers, hearing his deep, even breathing. It was lonely in bed without him. And since their quarrel she felt lonelier than ever.

The coach drew up on the curved, immaculately raked gravel drive and a string of servants poured from the house and lined up.

"The butler's name is Harris and Mrs. Cobb is the housekeeper. They will take their instructions from you," said Magnus gravely. He moved solemnly forward, introducing this servant or that. It was all horribly formal, Tallie thought, as she received yet another bow and curtsy. She walked into the huge marble entry hall. Her steps echoed and she s.h.i.+vered.

"Are you cold?" Magnus enquired with cool solicitude.

"Harris, please show Lady d'Arenville into the Brown Room. I presume you've lit a fire?"

Harris bowed.

"Yes, of course, my lord. This way, my lady."

Tallie was ushered to the Brown Room. It was enormous and gloomy, for the windows were shrouded with heavy brown velvet curtains. The room was stuffed with large, ornate, heavy items of furniture. Tallie wrinkled her nose. Everything upholstered in the same horrid dark brown. She wandered over to the fire, having to step around no fewer than three occasional tables, two embroidered fire screens and a settee. The room was immaculately clean, but she felt stifled. She thought instantly of the little peasant cottage in the mountains of Piedmonte and its cosy simplicity. She pushed the thought out of her mind with a pang of regret. There was no use in her worrying about her brother just now. This was her new home and she needed to accustom herself to the fact. Besides, she had fences to mend with her husband.

A few minutes later Magnus entered, followed by Mrs. Cobb, the housekeeper.

"Are you warm now?" he asked. Tallie nodded.

"Then Mrs. Cobb will show you to your room. You will wish to rest. I've ordered a tray sent up for your dinner," he informed her.

No, Tallie wanted to cry, I do not wish to rest. I want you to show me your home and introduce me to all your favourite haunts. I want you to tell me stories of when you were a little boy growing up here, so that I may learn to love this hideous mausoleum. I want things to be normal between us again.

But she could not bring herself to say it. This Magnus was not her beloved Magnus; this was Lord d'Arenville of d'Arenville Hall, very cold and formal, and she did not yet know how to deal with him. Tallie followed the housekeeper dolefully. She did not like the sound of your room. She hoped she had misheard Magnus; she hoped she was being taken to our room.

But she was not. It was clearly a woman's room, fussy and expensive and elegant. The chairs were tiny, dainty, with delicate twisted flutes for legs. They matched the dressing table. The window frames and bed were painted white and draped with gold silk. Large gilt looking-gla.s.ses were on every wall and Tallie could see herself reflected no matter where she stood in the room. White fur rugs lay scattered on the floor. Tallie hated the room on sight. It had an atmosphere, a hardness she did not like. She could not feel comfortable sleeping in here.

"Whose was this room?" she asked Mrs. Cobb tentatively.

"His lords.h.i.+p's mother's, my lady."

"Oh," said Tallie. Magnus had never spoken to her of his mother.

Perhaps he found it too painful to talk of her. It was hard, losing someone you truly loved, and a mother was special.

"What was she like?"

Mrs. Cobb pursed her lips oddly, then shook her head.

"More'n my job's worth to say, my lady, begging your pardon."

Tallie stared at her, astonished.

"I didn't mean you to gossip about M--Lord d'Arenville's mother. Just to tell me what sort of a person she was."

Mrs. Cobb shrugged.

"Can't do one without doing tother," she said.

"Best not enquire too closely about the past. Only one Lady d'Arenville is important now--best you forget about what's gone and get on with your life, begging your pardon, my lady." She eyed Tallie's waist shrewdly.

"I hope you don't think me impertinent, my lady, but would you be expecting an interesting event in the not too distant future?"

Tallie blushed and laid her hand on her belly."You mean the baby?"Mrs. Cobb beamed and nodded."Thought as much. Good news for d'Arenville, my lady. His lords.h.i.+p's pleased, I expect. May I tell the other servants?"Tallie nodded."I do not see why not. They will all be able to see for themselves before too long. I am getting so fat!"

"Fat? What nonsense! Bloom about you. A joy to behold." Mrs. Cobbnodded again."Good news you bring us, to be sure. Tis too long since there was a child at d'Arenville."

"Were you here when Magn--his lords.h.i.+p was a boy?" Tallie askedeagerly."Not really," Mrs. Cobb said."I've been here just over a score of years, come Michaelmas."Tallie frowned in puzzlement."Twenty years? But my husband is only nine and twenty. You must have known him as a boy."

Mrs. Cobb looked at her a moment, then shook her head.

"He were off at school years before I started here."

Sent to school at the age of six or seven, poor little boy, Tallie

thought. She touched her stomach protectively. If this child was a boy he wasn't going to be parcelled off to school at a young age like his father.