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"You were good when she started dating Stinger?" Rock repeated what Tuck had said, and then chuckled.
"f.u.c.k you."
"Hey, man, I thought I heard you and the Grizzly MC member went at it? Like went all primal in the woods behind the fight barn?" Pierce was outright howling with laughter now.
Malice was annoyed, but Pierce was right. "Listen, I thought I still loved her. I mean she's the mother of my kid for f.u.c.k's sake. But it wasn't about that. I had my own issues, wanted things the way they had been for so long, because that was what was comfortable. She's in good hands with Stinger, though, and the Grizzly takes care of Dakota when I'm not there." Tuck handed over his joint, and Malice grabbed it and took a deep inhale. When he exhaled and handed it back to Tuck he glanced at Rock, who stood beside Pierce. "Besides, I want Adrianna." There as a moment of silence, and he saw the way Rock and Tuck looked at each other.
Malice held his hand out, and Tuck grinned as he handed him the joint again. Once he had taken a couple of puffs and a nice buzz settled in, he realized that he had already known that Tuck and Rock had probably already caught on. They had been with him the entire time, and he knew it wasn't like he had hidden his reaction to Adrianna. He handed the joint back to Tuck and leaned against the van.
"What is this with her, a s.e.x thing?" Rock asked.
Malice looked over at the other man and narrowed his eyes, but Rock held a hand up in surrender.
"Okay, not a s.e.x thing. s.h.i.+t." Rock looked ahead and finished smoking his joint. "'Cause I was going to say if it was a s.e.x thing that is kind of f.u.c.ked up, man." Rock looked back over at him. "I mean, given what she has been through."
"I said I wanted her at the meeting, didn't I?"
Rock shrugged. "Man, you were desperate to make sure she was taken care of. I probably would have said anything, too."
"She's different from anything I've ever felt before, and I feel very protective and possessive of her."
"No s.h.i.+t." Tuck was squinting at him through the haze of marijuana smoke. "You went all territorial with Kink, and then it was clear you had a hard-on for her back at Marx's." Before Malice could lay into Tuck about taking about that s.h.i.+t Tuck started speaking again. "And then you f.u.c.king laid claim on her. I meant no disrespect when I say that, by the way."
"Yeah, the whole f.u.c.king club knew that you wanted that woman for more than just a charity case, and that was before you said you wanted her as an old lady." Rock said, and Malice looked over at him. Rock shrugged.
Malice ran his fingers through his hair and tugged at the short strands at the nape of his neck. But he didn't say anything, and in fact had known that acting so barbaric and snapping at his Brothers wouldn't go unnoticed.
"So you're serious about her being your old lady?" Rock asked.
"Really f.u.c.king serious," Malice said and looked at each of them.
Malice looked at Tuck and narrowed his eyes.
"You can scowl at me all you want, man. You don't scare me." Tuck dropped his roach to the ground, snubbed it out, and then picked up the b.u.t.t. He glanced at Malice and grinned.
Malice ground his teeth and pushed off the van. Tuck smiled, but it was a c.o.c.ky and self-righteous one.
"f.u.c.k, man, be careful because her life hasn't been a fairytale," said Tuck.
"You don't need to f.u.c.king tell me how her life has been. I was right f.u.c.king there." His anger was totally misplaced, and snapping at Tuck like this wasn't right, but the a.s.shole was baiting him, and Malice knew why. They stood nearly toe-to-toe now, Malice breathing heavily as his anger was still very strong inside of him, and Tuck standing there with a stoic expression on his face.
"You're right, I don't need to tell you s.h.i.+t, but look at yourself, Malice." Tuck took a step back and did a onceover. "You're about a second away from kicking my f.u.c.king a.s.s, and over what, because I said her life wasn't a fairytale? Or because I'm busting your b.a.l.l.s?" Malice closed his eyes, loosened his hands that were in tight fists, and breathed. He realized that he had been having this internal fight with himself. And he didn't even know why.
"You want her, that's pretty f.u.c.king clear, but don't get f.u.c.king p.i.s.sed when someone points out the obvious."
Malice started pacing, trying to calm down with every step he took. "It isn't just me wanting her more than I've ever wanted anyone before. It's that I feel like she knows me, like she doesn't judge me or my lifestyle. That's why I placed my claim with her at the meeting, and want her as my old lady." Yeah, she had mentioned he looked hard and scary, but she had still gone to him, still poured her heart out, and f.u.c.k, he was falling hard for this woman.
"Up until you met her you were all about the club wh.o.r.es."
He looked at Rock. "Yeah, and? You f.u.c.k these club girls after saying one syllable to them. Is it so hard to believe that I might want a woman for myself?"
"s.e.x doesn't equal love."
He turned on Rock and felt that familiar warmth of anger start to rise. He might not be in love with her yet, but f.u.c.king h.e.l.l, he cared about that girl so d.a.m.n much it consumed every part of him. If this was how he felt after only knowing her for such a short time, he didn't doubt he could love her so f.u.c.king hard it hurt.
Rock tilted his head toward the front door of the clubhouse. "If I asked you to come with me and pick out a fine looking honey to screw, would you go for it?"
Instantly Malice grew disgusted, because thinking about any other woman, about what they tasted like, smelled liked, and felt like under his mouth, tongue and hands turned him off faster than a cold shower.
"That's what I thought." Rock went to move past him, but smacked him on the back and said, "You want her, and if she wants you then go f.u.c.king take what's yours." And with that Rock moved away from them and into the clubhouse.
"He better not get s.h.i.+tfaced because he's taking this load over there tonight." Tuck grinned and moved over to him. He placed a hand on his shoulder, and the smell of the pot they just smoked, and whatever whiskey Tuck had been drinking on filled his nose. "I wasn't trying to bust your b.a.l.l.s or start s.h.i.+t. I can tell you want this woman, and I'm glad you've found someone that draws you in like she does. You were with Molly for a long time, and I know sometimes it's hard to move on."
"No, I've moved on from Molly, as in when she told me it was over with. I was just too pigheaded and controlling to just let things end with the mother of my son. There weren't any real emotions between us for a long time before things ended."
"I know, but after that you were a cranky and foul b.a.s.t.a.r.d."
Malice chuckled, and then so did Tuck. "You going to the barn fight tonight?"
Tuck shook his head. "Kink's going." Tuck gave him a look that said Kink needed to blow off even more steam. The Brothers of Menace helped The Grizzly MC, a grizzly bear s.h.i.+fting MC that lived in Steel Corner, by fighting at the barn The Grizzlies ran. The underground bareknuckle fights brought in a little extra income to the club, but also allowed them to blow off some much needed steam.
They gave each other a half hug, and then Tuck turned away and headed toward the clubhouse. He stopped right before he entered and turned to look at him.
"You wanna throw back some drinks?"
Malice shook his head. "Nah. I'm heading out for the night." The look Tuck gave him told Malice that he knew he was going to see Adrianna. Tuck grinned and turned and headed inside. Malice stood there for a moment, thinking about all of the things Rock and Tuck had said and everything he had thought about and felt since he had met Adrianna. He was going to have her because there was no way he could stay away now. But she wanted him, too, and that was a pretty powerful f.u.c.king feeling. His cell vibrated in his pocket and he reached in and got it out. The screen flashed MOLLY. It wasn't who had been consuming his mind lately.
"Hey, what's up?" He held the cell to his ear and grabbed his keys for his bike and started moving toward the Harley.
"I'm going to have to cancel you getting Dakota tomorrow. He's got some kind of bug. He's been throwing up, as a little fever, and is as crabby as you are on most days." There was clear weariness in her voice.
"He's okay though? He doesn't need to see a doctor?" He was worried, but seeing as Molly was a nurse and trained in s.h.i.+t like this, Malice didn't freak out too badly.
"He's fine. There is some kind of c.r.a.p going around the playground in town, and I am sure that is where he picked it up at."
"You want me to come over and see him? I can bring some soup over."
"You made soup?" Molly started chuckling, and Malice grunted.
"f.u.c.k no, I didn't make soup, but Tatum made some chicken and rice this afternoon."
"No, but thank you. He can't keep much down and has been sleeping most of the day. He was disappointed in not seeing you, but I think it is best. You'd end up getting it, and then everyone would have to hear you b.i.t.c.h and moan." Molly started laughing again, and Malice could hear Stinger saying something in the background.
"Okay, but I'll call tomorrow and see how he is doing." There was a second of this weird silence, and Malice sighed. "What, Molly?"
"I was at the cabin in the back when you stopped by."
"Yeah." He straddled his bike, and although he didn't say it he knew what she was going to say.
"And I talked to the new girl ... Adrianna."
He didn't respond, just put his helmet on anxious to get off the phone and see Adrianna. He wanted to see Dakota, but his kid's health came first, and if Molly thought he needed his rest, then he did.
"Some of the girls were talking about how you were the one to bring her to the cabin, and that she was staying there for an undetermined amount of time."
"Yeah, and? You've never questioned anything like this before, and some of the other guys brought women to the cabin."
"Yeah, but I also have never heard any of the other members doing inappropriate things with those women either."
Everything inside of Malice stilled. "Inappropriate things? What the f.u.c.k are you talking about?"
"Mandi said she was outside the bedroom door and heard a lot of moaning." There was a moment silence from Molly, and then he heard her sigh. "I don't care what you do, Malice, and as long as no one gets hurt and is happy is all that matters. But I saw Adrianna, spoke to her even. She's a sweet woman, but her life has been really screwed up. I can't help but think that doing s.e.xual things with her in the mindset that she is in and especially after what had happened to her is not the best move."
Malice scratched his jaw and breathed out. "It isn't like that, Molly. I'm not attacking the poor girl because I'm hard-up. We..." He didn't even feel like getting into this with her, and it wasn't her d.a.m.n business, and he was p.i.s.sed that people had run their f.u.c.king mouths on s.h.i.+t they didn't know.
"You didn't have s.e.x with an abuse victim?"
"G.o.ddammit, Molly." He raised his voice, and although he didn't mean to yell at her the fact she was implying he had f.u.c.king done something wrong p.i.s.sed him off. Malice heard Stinger's angry voice through the receiver. "Tell Stinger to calm the f.u.c.k down." He rubbed his eyes and listened to Molly calm down the other biker. "I don't have to explain myself to you or anyone else. I'm not some d.a.m.n pervert that likes doing s.h.i.+t with women that are not consensual, or even implying that if she did do something with me it was because she was traumatized." He was p.i.s.sed now, and as much as he meant what he said to Molly he had thought about wanting Adrianna as wrong because of what she had been through.
"Calm down, Trevor." Molly used his first name because she was p.i.s.sed. That was the only time she ever did. "I'm not implying you're a pervert or a bad man. I am just asking that you be careful. Adrianna was really enamored with you, and the more we talked, and the more she was saying you saved her the more I realized that you could hurt her-"
There was that f.u.c.king word again ... enamored. "I would never hurt her, Molly. I don't hurt women. Besides, Adrianna is different. I feel different when I'm around her." He didn't even want to be having this conversation with Molly but it was clear she was looking out for the other woman. "She's special." Another second of silence but he was done with this conversation. "Listen, I have to go. Thank you for looking out for her, and for wanting to make sure she was safe. That's what I want, too."
"You really care about her?"
"Yeah, Molly, I really do. And before you say how crazy it sounds I'll remind you that you and Stinger hadn't exactly been dating for years." No, they'd had pretty much jumped right into a relations.h.i.+p. If it feels right, and makes someone happy who the f.u.c.k cared how fast everything happened. "I really do have to go, but give Dakota a hug and kiss for me, and let him know I'll call him tomorrow to see how he is doing." After he disconnected the call he shoved the cell back in his cut and stare at the road in front of him. Of course Molly had brought up some good points, but that didn't mean they were real. He cared for Adrianna, and he knew she did as well. Did he think maybe she was drawn to him because he saved her? Maybe, but she was an adult, had lived a life that had made her realize what was real and what wasn't, and he had felt how genuine her words and touches had been.
"f.u.c.k." He cursed feeling annoyed and irritated. The sun was just starting to set, and he watched it dip down past the horizon. Maybe if he wasn't such a selfish b.a.s.t.a.r.d he could have turned away from her, but they definitely had a connection, and besides, he couldn't get her off his brain. Starting the engine of his bike and revving the engine he sat there for only a second longer before pulling out onto the street. He'd find out how she really felt, but he'd also tell her that she was more to him that just someone to f.u.c.k.
Chapter Fifteen.
Adrianna cleaned off the stove and glanced at Malice's ex-girlfriend and the mother of his child. Molly handed the last washed dish to Kendra. Kendra was younger than Adrianna but not by much. She may have only been here for a day, but already she was feeling in her element and able to connect with these women. These women were like her, and they had all fallen into the same stereotypical life where they sold themselves for money, and allowed men to hurt them because that was the only kind of love they knew. But what set them apart, and what made them rise above the disgust and pain that had covered each of them was that they were here trying to get their lives back on track. Some may decide they wanted to continue to sell themselves while others went the more traditional route.
"So you're really thinking of going back to school?" Adrianna turned and glanced at Kendra. The other woman was drying the dish thoroughly, and when she opened the cabinet and placed it with the rest there was this smile on her face.
Molly excused herself to help one of the women that had fallen down the last few stairs and had hurt her ankle.
"I'm thinking about it, but I am scared to be honest," Kendra said and turned to face Adrianna.
"That's normal."
"Yeah?"
Adrianna tossed the rag she had been cleaning with in the hamper with the rest of the dirty clothes. "Sure. If you weren't scared of something new then I would wonder if it was the right thing or not."
Kendra smiled and looked down. "Yeah, I hope you're right."
Kendra was still very young in the mentality stage. She was beautiful and intelligent, but Adrianna could still see why the horrible men in her life had taken advantage of her. She was delicate, like a flower just opening up to the world. They had spoken a lot today, and just in these last twenty-four hours Adrianna had realized that she was glad life had taken her here. Someone called out for Kendra, and she smiled once more at Adrianna before heading out of the kitchen. There were still a few women that kept their distance from her, but she was the "new girl", and she supposed living the life they all had made them p.r.o.ne to be wary of others they didn't know.
She moved over to the kitchen table and sat down. There were still some spaghetti sauce spots on the table from the group dinner they had just had. All Adrianna could think about as she stared at those spots was the conversation she had with Molly just today. She had known Malice had been with someone before, and knew he had a kid. She had also known that Molly had been his, and although Arianna had never been jealous, because, well, she didn't have much in life to be jealous of, she was envious of this woman that had shared her life with such a wonderful man. On the heels of those misplaced feelings she also felt guilt and shame. Molly had been so kind, so caring, and had talked with each of the women. Kendra especially seemed close with Molly, and then when Adrianna spoke with the other women, everything just kind of opened up. Even now she remembered the warmth that had come from Molly, and how it had been like nothing Adrianna had ever felt.
"You have to do what is best for you." She reached out and placed her hand over Adrianna's. "The women here talk, but that is just what women do." Molly smiled. "You care for Malice, and I can see that. He is a great guy, a wonderful father, and is loyal right down to his heart." Molly squeezed Adrianna's hand gently. "But don't settle for what you are not ready for, just because he is the first man to offer you that shred of hope. Sometimes it is not, and I don't say this to dissuade you from following what you know is right and true. Just know that only you can decide what is moving too fast or too slowly."
Adrianna blinked, knowing that she could see how an outsider would feel that the life she had led made her feel the things she did for Malice. Although she had wanted to talk more with Molly, the woman was here to help all of the girls, and that took time. She wasn't just there to tend to wounds, but to be that shoulder these women needed to lean on. Maybe soon she and Molly could speak more, a little more in-depth, and Adrianna could really find out about her and Malice. It wasn't just about wanting more from him than what she had. He was her savior, this knight in s.h.i.+ning armor that had helped her when the world was dark. But this had nothing to do with the abuse by Phillip, or the death of her brother, or her s.h.i.+tty home life. This was about taking a stand and deciding that now was the time for her to take something for herself.
She stood when she heard the front door open, and then her heart started to race when she heard the women greet Malice. The sound of his heavy boots. .h.i.tting the floor came closer, and then there he was. He stood in the doorway looking like it had been years since he had seen her. Emotions swamped her, and adrenaline flooded her veins in sweet release. All she had to do to know this is the right thing was look in his ruggedly handsome face.
"I sent a text to tell you I was on my way."
That scratchy husky voice of his always had the same effect in her: made her wet in a matter of seconds. "I left the phone upstairs."
He nodded and then looked over at the stairs. "Can we talk someplace privately?"
Instantly her arousal dimmed at the tone of his voice. "Okay." She moved toward the entryway of the kitchen, and she swore she heard him inhale as she pa.s.sed. Her arm brushed against his chest, and she felt that flutter of excitement in her belly. They moved through the living room where many of the women were gathered around the television. Adrianna didn't miss the curious glances they gave her, but she had also heard the whispers of their suspicions. Yes even after one day she was the talk of the house. Once they were in her room she shut the door and pressed her back to it. Malice stood in the center staring out her window. He was so big and imposing that he made everything in the room seem so small and insignificant.
"What's on your mind?"
He slowly turned around, and she took in the full scope of him. Black scuffed up boots, jeans that looked worn-in and used, but only in the best kind of way, plain black t-s.h.i.+rt that showed off the sleeves of his tattoos on his arms, and of course his leather biker vest. His dark hair fell slightly across his cheeks, and he had yet to shave. Adrianna liked the trimmed beard on him though. It gave him a very rugged appearance and made his masculinity even more p.r.o.nounced.
"You're on my mind."
Her pulse increased and moved up her throat. Those words might not have meant much to someone else, but to her they meant so much more.
"You spoke with Molly today?" he asked.
Of course she wasn't surprised that he knew about her conversation with Molly. She was the mother of his child after all. "Yeah, earlier today. She's a very sweet woman and cares about these girls."
He nodded and glanced away. He didn't say anything for several seconds, and she started to feel like the calm before the storm. Was he about to say something bad?
"She's worried about you."
A relieved breath left her. "Yeah, I got that from our conversation, but I think it is in her nature to worry about others. Besides, these other women have had such a crummy hand dealt to them."
"So have you."
She shrugged. She couldn't deny it, but she didn't want to play the victim or look like one either.
"She thinks maybe you and me shouldn't go down this road because of what happened to you." He rubbed the back of his neck in what she knew was an uncomfortable gesture. "She thinks that you see me as your rescuer and that is why you have these feelings for me."
Her cheeks heated instantly, and she didn't even know why. For a moment she didn't know what to say. Of course she had thought those same things, but in the end she knew that wasn't just why she cared about him. It was a part of it, but not the entire reason. "Is that what you think?"