Over Hill And Dale Part 16

Down the path to the school came the priest, a tall stick of a man in a shabby-looking, ill-fitting ca.s.sock, and a small, rotund bundle of a woman of indeterminate age. She could have been sixty, she could have been eighty. I followed Sister Brendan to the school entrance to meet them.

"Good morning, Sister. Good morning, Mr. Phinn,"

boomed the priest before stooping and shouting in his companion's ear: "This is Mr. Phinn, Miss Fenoughty. Do you remember, I mentioned him this morning at breakfast?"

"I knew a Bernadette Flynn who used to go to Notre Dame High School," remarked the old lady, scrutinizing me. "Very talented girl."

"It's Phinn, Miss Fenoughty, Mr. Phinn," corrected the priest.

"I also knew a Father Flynn, parish priest at St. Hilda's. He was a lovely man. I spent hours in the confessional box with him. A wonderful listener was Father Flynn." She looked up at me with small bright eyes. "Are you any relation?"

Monsignor Leonard shook his head and smiled and Sister Brendan gave me a look of n.o.ble resignation.

"It's Phinn, not Flynn, Miss Fenoughty!" roared the priest.

"Monsignor Leonard," said his companion quietly, 'there's no need to shout in my ear. It's enough to deafen me."

"I do apologise," said the priest in a much more restrained voice. "This is Mr. Phinn, he's an inspector of schools. His name is Phinn, Miss Fenoughty, not Flynn."

"Pardon?" asked Miss Fenoughty.

Sister Brendan, like the statue of the Virgin Mary which dominated the entrance hall, raised her eyes saint-like to heaven.

Sister Brendan had not exaggerated. Miss Fenoughty's rendition of' All Things Bright and Beautiful' made the ground shake and the windows tremble. I thought of another set of lyrics for the hymn, beginning "All Things Loud and Voluble' as she banged away on the keys. Quite a number of the children covered their ears. Monsignor Leonard gave a small homily about kindness to others, loving your neighbour and showing charity to those less fortunate. I noticed Sister Brendan giving Miss Fenoughty a sideways glance. A prayer was said and the a.s.sembly was over. While Sister Brendan explained to the children what was to happen that morning and organised them for my drama session, I approached Miss Fenoughty and thought I'd show a little kindness to the less fortunate.

"You certainly play with gusto, Miss Fenoughty," I said cheerfully.

"Who must go?" she snapped. "I thought I was going to stay and watch the drama. Monsignor Leonard said he was staying to watch the drama. I have no transport so I shall have to wait until he goes."

"No, I meant your playing," I said. "It was very rousing." I had raised my voice an octave.

"Oh, well, I can't be doing with these whispery little modern hymns, Mr. Flynn. I like a good old stirring, robust tune. You should hear me when I play "When the Saints Go Marching In". Sister says I'm a bit heavy-handed on the piano, you know, and the children think I'm a bit loud."

"Really?"

"I overheard one little boy last week refer to "that old plonker on the piano"."

"Really?"

"I do tend to plonk, I have to admit." She chuckled to herself.

At this point Sister Brendan approached and rescued me. "Miss Fenoughty," she said slowly and loudly, 'would you like to sit in the staff room while you wait for Monsignor Leonard? He's going to watch the drama."

"I know he is, Sister Brendan," she replied. "Mr. Flynn said it would be all right if I watched too."

"Wouldn't you rather wait in the staff room?"

"No thank you, Sister," she said firmly.

The nun pulled a face. "Well, will you take a seat at the back of the hall? Mr. Phinn is about ready to start."

"I was just telling Mr. Flynn, Sister, that the children think I'm a bit of a plonker."

Sister Brendan's face remained impa.s.sive and she did not say a word, but as I turned to make my way to the front of the hall, I swear I heard a little chuckle.

The two top infant groups remained seated while the rest of the children returned to their cla.s.srooms. Monsignor Leonard and the supply teacher joined Miss Fenoughty who had ensconced herself at the rear of the hall on the only chair with arms. The three of them sat in a row like the judges in a talent contest.

"Now, children," said Sister Brendan, facing the sea of smiling faces, 'we have with us this morning Mr. Phinn. We are very fortunate, because Mr. Phinn has taken time out of his very busy life as an inspector to teach a drama lesson."

"Sister Brendan," asked a small fair-haired boy, 'what does Mr. Phinn collect?"

"Mr. Phinn doesn't collect anything, Sean," replied the nun smiling. "He's not a collector, he's an inspector. He inspects things."

"Sister Brendan," persisted the child, 'what does Mr. Phinn inspect?"

"Oh, lots of things to do with school, but he's not here this morning to inspect. Mr. Phinn's here to take you for drama."

"Could he inspect the gerbil, Sister?"

"Of course not, Sean. Now be a good boy, sit up straight and leave the questions until later." The nun swivelled round and gave me a disarming smile. "We have a poorly gerbil, Mr. Phinn. We think he's eaten a piece of orange peel somebody put in his cage." She moved closer and whispered, "Keep an eye on Sean." She then joined the audience at the back of the hall.

"Good morning, children," I said.

"Good morning, Mr. Phinn," they chorused. Before me was a sea of bright-eyed, eager infants ready for action.

"People who perform drama are actors and they take on acting parts," I explained. "They pretend to be other people and use their bodies, faces and voices to make up a story for other people to watch, just like in a theatre or in the cinema or on the television. Later this morning we shall be acting out a story but first we are going to do a few warm-up activities to get us in the right frame of mind. In a moment, I want everyone to find a s.p.a.ce in the hall and then look this way. All right, everyone find a s.p.a.ce." The children did as I asked quietly and without any fuss.

"Good," I said. "Now, for a start, let's see if you can all listen really, really well. Some of you might have played "Simon Says" at your birthday party." A number of the children nodded excitedly. "Well, this exercise is a bit like that. You just have to do exactly as I say. So, let me see. Everyone ready? Hands on heads." All the children placed their hands on their heads. "Good. Hands on shoulders." Two children hugged each other. "No," I said, 'your own shoulders. Don't put your hands on anyone else's. Hands on elbows. Hands on knees." This continued for a few minutes. The children followed my instructions and things were going really well until I said, "Hands on thighs," and all the children covered their eyes.

I decided to move on. "In a moment I will be asking you to walk around in the hall using all the s.p.a.ce, but whenever I say the word "Freeze!" I want you to stop what you are doing immediately and imagine you are frozen. You must remain as silent and as still as the statue of St. Bartholomew who looks down on you from the front of the hall." All eyes examined the large, olive-wood figure of the benign-looking man, with arms outstretched, who stood on a plinth. "Then, when I say "Relax!" I want you to return to normal.

All right, is everybody ready?" The children stood to attention. "You are walking through the woods on a bright, sunny day. The sun is streaming through the trees and you can hear the birds singing and the rustling of the leaves and the crackling of the branches underfoot. Freeze!" Most children stood stock still but a few shuffled their feet, others scratched their heads and one large girl began to suck her thumb.

"That was good for a first attempt, but let's see if, when we do it again, we can all remain perfectly still." I repeated the commentary of the walk through the woods and this time all the children froze. "Very good. Relax!"

"Mr. Phinn, when we freeze, can we breathe?" asked the small fair-haired boy who had enquired earlier if I could 'inspect' the gerbil.

"Yes, Sean, you can breathe, but you mustn't move. Now, this time we are on a cold, cold street. The crisp snow crunches under our feet and the icy wind makes our ears and cheeks tingle. We start to s.h.i.+ver and we rub our hands to make ourselves warm. Cars and lorries are whoos.h.i.+ng along the road and you are splashed by a big bus. Freeze!" The children froze. "Relax!" All the children relaxed with the exception of Sean who remained inert, as if caught in amber. "You can relax now, Sean," I told him.

"I can't," he replied through tight lips. "My feet are frozen in a snowdrift."

"He might have got frostbite," chirped up a small girl. "My grandpa says you can get frostbite in snow."

"No, he hasn't got frostbite," I explained, 'because the snow has now melted and that's why Sean can move." The little boy relaxed and began to rub his feet dramatically.

"This time we are in a far-off desert," I continued. "The hot, hot sun is burning down on our heads. We wipe the perspiration from our foreheads and we start to pant. Our mouths are as dry as the sand and we feel faint with the heat. Freeze!" Every child froze except fair-haired Sean.

"But, Mr. Phinn, you wouldn't freeze in a desert. You'd burn up or melt."

"And might get sunburn," piped up the small girl for a second time. "My grandpa says you can get burnt in the sun."

"Yes, that's true, Sean, but this is a magic desert and we are freezing. So freeze, please. Right everyone, relax!"

"My Auntie June came out in blisters in Majorca," the small girl informed me, nodding seriously.

"Freeze!" I barked and she turned to stone.

Until morning playtime I took the children through a series of different activities and they responded really well. We visited dark dungeons and dusty attics, braved storms and swam rivers, climbed mountains and crawled through caves, dug gardens and threaded needles a whole range of mimed performances which they clearly enjoyed undertaking. At break-time in the staff room, Sister Brendan seemed happy at the way things were going, as did Mon-signor Leonard.

' The children are doing very well," commented the priest, taking a sip from a large mug of coffee. "I wonder if I might remain for the rest of the morning to see how the work develops? I just need to drop Miss Fenoughty off in town but I'll be back, if that is all right." Before I could answer, Miss Fenoughty, whose hearing seemed to have undergone a remarkable improvement, placed her cup down carefully before saying, "I think I might stay, if that's all the same to you, Monsignor. I'm certainly enjoying this morning. It's better than the bingo." Sister Brendan raised her eyes to heaven. "Is there a biscuit to go with the coffee, Sister?" asked Miss Fenoughty sweetly.

I was feeling a great deal more confident after playtime. The children had been exemplary and taken part in the activities with genuine interest and excitement. I explained to them that we had used our bodies to mime various actions, our faces to express our feelings and now we were going to add some words. As the focus of our drama I picked the poem by Robert Browning, "The Pied Piper of Hamelin'. The poem has fifteen long verses and, as I was limited for time and the text is sometimes quite difficult, I decided that I would read a little of the original to give the children a feel for the richness of the language but re-tell the story to move things along. The children gathered around me in a half-circle and I began.

Hamelin Town's in Brunswick, By famous Hanover city; The river Weser, deep and wide, Washes its wall on the southern side; A pleas anter spot you never spied; But, when begins my ditty, Almost five hundred years ago, To see the townsfolk suffer so From vermin, was a pity.

Rats!

They fought the dogs, and killed the cats, And bit the babies in their cradles, And ate the cheeses out of vats, And licked the soup from the cooks' own ladles, Split open kegs of salted sprats, Made nests inside men's Sunday hats, And even spoiled the women's chats, By drowning their speaking With shrieking and squeaking In fifty different sharps and flats.

At this point I saw Father Leonard give Sister Brendan a knowing look before staring at Miss Fenoughty, who was sublimely oblivious to the unintended reference to her 'drowning their speaking in fifty different sharps and flats'. I then related the exciting story to my hushed and fascinated little audience: how the people crowded into the Council Chamber demanding action from the Mayor and Corporation, how the strange, tall figure with 'the sharp blue eyes and light loose hair', draped in his coat of yellow and red, agreed to rid the town of the rats for the sum of a thousand guilders, how he blew his pipe until his lips 'wrinkled' and the rats emerged.

And ere three shrill notes the pipe uttered, You heard as if an army muttered; And the muttering grew to a grumbling; And the grumbling grew to a mighty rumbling: And out of the houses the rats came tumbling. Great rats, small rats, lean rats, brawny rats, Brown rats, black rats, great rats, tawny rats, Grave old plodders, gay young friskers, Fathers, mothers, uncles, cousins, c.o.c.king tails and p.r.i.c.king whiskers .. .

I then told the children how the people rejoiced and how the piper danced on and on, playing his shrill notes, through the narrow streets and across the square, followed by a sea of squealing rats. I told them how he took the rats to the river's edge and described how the creatures desperately, blindly, hurled themselves into the murky waters. I told them how the Pied Piper came for his money and how the Mayor laughed in his face.

The children listened with wide eyes and open mouths when I related how the Pied Piper's face had darkened with anger and how he shook his fist at the city and the skies clouded over and an icy wind began to blow.

And so we came to the dramatic conclusion to the tale: how the Pied Piper lifted his pipe to his lips and blew three long clear notes. Then the children came out of the houses, laughing and chattering, lifting their little feet, skipping and running and dancing and clapping their hands. You could have heard a pin drop when I concluded the story of how the little children followed the strange man in his coat of yellow and red up to the mountainside where a great door opened and swallowed them all, all except for the little lame boy who was left behind.

Alas, alas for Hamelin!

There came into many a burgher's pate A text which says that heaven's gate Opes to the rich as at easy rate As the needle's eye takes a camel in!

"Now, there's a couple of difficult words in this verse," I explained." "Pate" is the old word for head and a "burgher" is-'

A boy with large, round eyes and equally large round gla.s.ses waved his hand madly in the air. "Mr. Phinn! Mr. Phinn!" he cried. "I know that. It's something you eat with chips. You can have chicken burgers beefburgers and hamburgers."

Another child, with more interest in the impending lunch-time than the Pied Piper, enquired loudly if they were having burgers for dinner.

"That's another kind of burger," I told her. "In "The Pied Piper", a burgher is a sort of council official, a bit like a mayor, a very important person who makes all the laws. It was the burghers who refused to give the Pied Piper his thousand guilders."

The children did not look as if they were any the wiser but I pressed on. I organised the children into various groups to act out scenes from the story: the scurrying, squeaking rats, the mothers and children, cooks and councillors, shopkeepers and chattering women, the Mayor and, of course, the Pied Piper. Everything seemed to be going smoothly.

Even the rather sad-looking girl, who asked me if she could be a cow rather than a rat, went away appeased when I explained that there were no cows in the story and she could be a cat. I asked several of the groups to perform their part of the poem for the others to watch. The children came out to the front of the hall just as the dinner ladies entered to set the tables out for dinner, the caretaker to help them, the crossing patrol warden to collect her "Stop!" sign and a number of parents to wait for their children. The rear of the hall was full of interested adults who were obviously greatly entertained by the children's performances.

The last group was to act out that part of the story when the Mayor refuses to give the Pied Piper his thousand guilders. The little boy playing the Pied Piper was the child with the great, round eyes and enormous pair of gla.s.ses, who had volunteered the answer about the burghers earlier. Now, with all eyes upon him, he looked extremely shy and nervous. The Mayor was none other than Sean, and if he was nervous he certainly did not show it.

"Well, Pied Piper, what do you want?" he called confidently from the centre of the hall.

"I have come for my money," mumbled the Pied Piper who had sidled nervously across the floor towards him.

"Well, you're not having it!" shouted the Mayor.

"OK," said the Pied Piper and walked quickly away.

"No! No! No!" shouted the other child. "That's not what you do!" He appealed to me. "Mr. Phinn! Mr. Phinn! That's not right, is it? He wouldn't just say "OK" and walk off, would he? He'd go barmy!" The little boy was getting into a real state himself, his face red with rage.

"Freeze!" I commanded. It was as if a magic spell had been put on him. The child was transformed and became completely motionless. "Relax!" I turned to the child with the large gla.s.ses. "You would get quite angry, you know," I said. "You have got rid of all the rats and the Mayor promised you the thousand guilders. Now he has refused to pay so you would not be very happy about that, would you?" The child shook his head. "Let's try it again."

For the second time the Mayor stood confidently in the centre of the hall. "Well, Pied Piper, what do you want?" he demanded.

The Pied Piper moved across the hall to him. "I have come for my money," he said with not much more conviction than the previous effort.

"Well, you're not having it!" shouted the Mayor.

"Why?"

"Because you're not, that's why. I've changed my mind."

"Go on, give me my money. You said you would."

"Well, you're not having it!"

"But that's not fair."

"Tough luck!"

"I'll blow my pipe then."

"You can blow your pipe until you burst but you're not having any money and that's that!"

"OK then," sighed the Pied Piper walking away, 'but you'll be sorry."

Sean's face went crimson with fury. "No! No! No!" he shouted again. "That's not what you do!" He appealed to me for a second time. "Mr. Phinn! Mr. Phinn! That's not right, is it? He's still saying "OK" and walking away! He'd go bonkers!"

"Freeze!" I cried again. It was as if the child had been turned to stone. "Relax! Now look, Pied Piper," I said to the child with the large gla.s.ses, 'it was a lot better than last time but you do need to show how annoyed you are with the Mayor. Try again, and this time when you leave the Council Chamber, you must show how angry you are."

The child stared up at me vacantly through the large gla.s.ses. "Try and think of a time when you were mad with someone. Can you do that?" He nodded. "Last go then, because it's nearly dinner-time."

All faces were turned to the Pied Piper as he stamped into the Council Chamber. His eyes were now slits behind the large gla.s.ses, his lips were pressed tightly together, his little body looked stiff and he held up a fist threateningly.

"Well, Pied Piper, what do you want?" demanded the Mayor for the third time.

"I have come for my money," shouted the Pied Piper.

"Well, you're not having it!" retorted the Mayor.

"Go on, give me my money. You said you would."