Kiku's Prayer Part 34

Kiku would never forget the terrible, stinging pain and humiliation she experienced the first time It Seizaemon climbed on top of her.

"You ... you don't know anything about that kind of pain, do you? You ... you never had a man do that to you, did you?"

Just then, she heard the faint sound of footsteps. Kiku quickly hid herself behind a column. At a time like this, she did not want to meet Pet.i.tjean or Laucaigne.

But it wasn't either of the priests. A shabby-looking man appeared from behind the creaking door, and behind him a woman stepped quietly into the chapel.

Mitsu ... !

Kiku nearly cried out in surprise. It was definitely Mitsu who was walking behind the man toward the altar.

Neither she nor the man realized that Kiku was watching them as they knelt before the statue of the Blessed Mother Mary. The man lifted his head and crossed himself, after which Mitsu imitated him and clumsily moved her hands in the shape of a cross.

"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee ..." The man spoke the prayer that all the Kiris.h.i.+tans invoked to the Blessed Mother, but Mitsu apparently had not yet memorized the prayer and was silent.

Even after he finished praying, the man remained where he was for a long while, his drooping head supported by both hands. Looking at his despondent posture, Kiku sensed that the man carried a heavy burden in his heart, though she couldn't imagine what it was.

"You don't need to punish yourself anymore," Mitsu tried to console the man. "Someday they'll understand how you feel. Sometime I'll tell them how long you've suffered such terrible guilt for what you did."

"Even if they all forgive me, Deus won't forgive me."

"How do you know that? Even if he won't, though, this Mary you believe in will smooth things over for you with Lord Deus. You've always said that Mary is the mother of all people ...."

"She is."

"If she's a mother, then there's no way she can just ignore her children when they're suffering. No mother can turn a deaf ear to the pleas of her own child."

Kiku had never heard the Mitsu she knew speak with such intensity. Mitsu was trying so desperately to console this man.

Since their childhood together, Mitsu had never been able to turn away from anything pitiful or unfortunate that she encountered. She was the type who would hide her own food and give it to stray dogs or cats, no matter how much her brother or Kiku reprimanded her. With that same intensity she was now trying to comfort this man....

"Let's go," the man muttered as he got to his feet.

"Mitsu!" Kiku could no longer stifle her feelings of affection for Mitsu and finally called out. In astonishment, both Mitsu and the man turned toward her. When she recognized a smiling Kiku standing beside the column, Mitsu's eyes widened and she cried, "What! What are you doing here? Kiku, oh, I've searched and searched for you! Ichijir's been going all over the place trying to find out where you are. He's come here again and again ... But the foreigners always just shake their heads...."

Kiku dodged Mitsu's unspoken question. "You're looking well. I hear you're still working at the Gotya."

Monotonously the waves nipped at the sh.o.r.e, then retreated. The steams.h.i.+p that had until just minutes before floated in the offing had now carried a blissful Oy out of sight. The canopy of gray rain clouds broke open, and light from the sun steamed on the surface of the sea.

"So ... have you decided you want to marry him?" Kiku asked Mitsu, glancing toward k.u.maz, who was sitting on the sh.o.r.e a ways away from them with his head bowed. "Of course, you've talked to your brother and your parents about it, right?"

Mitsu shook her head. "No. Even if I did talk to them, they wouldn't approve of him.... That's kind of what I've a.s.sumed, so I haven't said anything to them."

"That's so like you. You've always been the sort of girl who can't bring herself to turn away somebody you feel sorry for...."

"I just feel like if I can do even a little something to help take the pain from his heart ..."

"Funny, isn't it? You and I never imagined we'd wind up in these relations.h.i.+ps with Kiris.h.i.+tan men...." Kiku scooped up some sand in her palm, and as she let it trickle through her fingers, she said earnestly, "We both have pretty difficult a.s.sociations with our men, don't we?"

"Yeah. But, Kiku, where in Maruyama are you working?"

"It's better not to ask," Kiku said forlornly. "I've ended up in a place you're better off not knowing anything about. I'm not like you anymore-I'm a filthy woman."

"A filthy woman?"

Anxiety clouded Kiku's brow as she let the sand slip from between her fingers.

"Kiku, don't you feel like coming back to Magome?"

"No, I don't. There's no reason to go back home. I mean, I don't regret what I've done." Kiku said with determination as she stared at the offing. "I don't regret it. After I fell in love with Seikichi, I became a filthy woman just so I could help him, so I don't feel bad about it. I believe with all my heart that a woman wants to do anything for the man she loves. You understand that feeling, don't you?"

Mitsu nodded. All she had to do to understand how Kiku felt was to compare her own situation with that of a pa.s.sionate woman like Kiku and she could visualize what would happen when such a woman fell in love with a man. Kiku brushed the sand off her lap and stood up.

"I've got to get back to the house. It gets very busy in Maruyama at night. And I bet you'll be in trouble with the Mistress at the Gotya if you don't get back, too."

"I'll see you again, won't I, Kiku?" Mitsu asked uneasily. Kiku gave a sisterly smile and said, "I'm not sure. I might end up going to Tsuwano. 'Bye!"

"'Bye!" And with that, Kiku began the climb up the road from the beach without even looking behind her. Mitsu understood that Kiku did not turn back to look at her from want of feeling but because she was determined to devote herself completely to her love.

Summer came. In Nagasaki, summer nights are almost unbearably hot. There is absolutely no breeze, and it is hard to sleep even in the middle of the night.

A famous event in Nagasaki, when boats are floated on the water as offerings to the spirits of the dead,3 is held on one of those humid summer nights. On the fourteenth of the seventh month, families spread straw mats on the ground in temple cemeteries throughout the city and hold drinking parties, then eat a dish called p'eihsin and agar-agar formed into the shape of a plate, which they also present as offerings at the family grave sites. From midnight of the following day, the harbor is jammed with crowds of people.

Many people place lighted candles in their "spirit boats" and release them into the sea. The myriad lights-jostling on the waves, then hidden by the waves, then floating atop the waves-create an indescribably beautiful world of illusion.

That evening, the customers at the Yamazaki Teahouse took the madam and her geiko to watch the floating of the spirit boats, while Kiku was left behind to care for the house.

The heat was so stifling that she broke into a sweat even when she tried to stay perfectly still. She finished doing the wash, sat down on the step leading to the entryway, and turned her thoughts vaguely toward Tsuwano.

This heat! They said Tsuwano sat in a mountain basin, so it might be even hotter than Nagasaki. How intolerable it must be in their cell! With that thought, in deference to Seikichi she lost all desire to cool herself with a fan and simply endured the rivulets of perspiration that coursed down her cheeks.

She heard a sound. Someone was coming into the house unannounced. Caught off guard, she stood up.

"It's me." With a broad grin on his ruddy face, It Seizaemon entered. "Did I surprise you? I got back from Tsuwano a couple of days ago. I wanted to come see you right away, but I didn't have time. I can't believe how hot it is for Obon this year. The crowds at the dock just now were overwhelming, but I ran into your madam there. When I heard you were here holding down the shop all by yourself, I came hurrying over. Would you get me some water? My throat's so dry!"

He gulped down the cup of water Kiku hurriedly brought to him and said, "Now some sake too!"

"OK. But I'll bring it to you here. We're not going upstairs."

As Kiku scurried to get him a bottle, he scanned her body from the top of her head to the ends of her toes and said, "Here's just fine. You don't have to treat me like a customer. But you're still a fine-looking woman, you know. After nothing but s.l.u.ts stinking of horse dung to sleep with in Tsuwano, there's too many beautiful women to choose from back here in Nagasaki."

"Umm ..." As she heated the bottle of sake over the oblong hibachi, Kiku softly asked, "About the letter and the money ..."

"I gave it to him. The letter and the two ryo ... I put them right into your fellow's hands. Not even someone like me is supposed to do that sort of thing, so I went out of my way for you."

"And did Seikichi give you any kind of-?"

"Reply? That's not allowed. No, no reply." It s.h.i.+fted his gaze away from Kiku, perhaps ashamed at his lie, and snapped almost angrily. "Where's my sake?"

He began drinking in silence. It was hot in the room, and raucous shouts could be heard from the distance. Unsightly sweat coursed down It's rust-colored face.

Normally after a few drinks, It's bloodshot eyes would steal over Kiku's back, and he would stretch out his arms and pull her body to the floor.

But he had made no advances yet tonight. For some time he sat deep in thought, nursing his drink with the cup pressed against his lips. In the light of the lantern his bat-like figure cast an unsightly shadow on the wall.

"Listen." As though he had made up his mind to something, he gulped down the saliva in his mouth and called to Kiku. "If I'm going to continue treating Seikichi kindly ... it's going to take some money."

He muttered the words almost to himself alone. Kiku listened without responding.

"The Tsuwano domain has three interrogating officers-Chiba, Morioka, and Kanamori. And then there's the s.h.i.+nto priest, Saeki. If I'm going to ask those four to take it a little easy on Seikichi, I can't go to them empty-handed. I think you understand what I'm saying...."

Since Kiku still said nothing, he continued, "Normally it'd take ten ryo, but with just five I'll somehow manage to persuade them.... If five is impossible, three ryo would work. You can wrap up one ryo for each of the three officers.... Don't think you can get that much? Remember, it's all for Seikichi."

Having said that, he began knocking down one drink after another to drown his own guilty conscience.

Shrieks of delight sounded in the distance again. By now an endless number of spirit boats were probably floating and drifting and sparkling like the lights from a swarm of fireflies in Nagasaki Bay.

Sweat poured down It's drunken face.

"What do you say? Don't you think you can make three ryo for Seikichi? I'm not saying it has to be right away. As long as you've got it when I go back to Tsuwano at the end of autumn. Winter comes early in Tsuwano, you know. And winters must be awfully tough on those men."

Kiku listened to It's menacing words with her eyes shut. She didn't know how much she could trust him. But she had no choice but to rely on this man in order to make life easier for Seikichi.

Behind her closed eyes hovered the image of the statue of the Blessed Mother in the ura Church.

Kiku. Please help Seikichi. You haven't done enough yet. Those men are suffering for you, so there's still more for you to do. How can you sit here doing nothing, keeping your body undefiled while they suffer so?

Keeping my body undefiled??! She wanted to throw the words back at the Blessed Mother Mary. Some women in this world can't ever attain love without defiling their bodies. You don't know anything about the suffering of those women! They say you lived your whole life a virgin, so you never had to sleep with a man who sickened you. You've never been groped by a disgusting man, never been toyed with by a disgusting man, never been soiled to the very depths of your body by a disgusting man!

"I'll ... I'll somehow come up with the money," Kiku whispered.

"You will? You know ...," It said with relief, "you're a good woman. I'm honestly jealous of Seikichi for having your love." He spoke almost out of character.

Still, it wasn't long before he placed his hand on Kiku's shoulder. Pushed onto her back, Kiku looked blankly, emotionlessly into the face above her that breathed fiercely.

"I'll ... I'll somehow come up with the money."

No, not "somehow." If Seikichi was going to be treated harshly this winter in Tsuwano unless she did something, then she must find a way to raise the three ryo.

She would borrow it from the madam. But she'd already borrowed two ryo from her. Whatever the madam's true intentions might be in lending her the money, it pained her to ask to borrow even more when she had no idea how to repay it. That obnoxious man she met on the street once told her that the madam planned to bind her with debt, but Kiku simply couldn't bring herself to believe that.

What should I do?

For a woman like Kiku with no other viable options, there was only one possible way. Out of love, she would have to surrender her body, to offer herself as a sacrifice....

That night, after It had left, the madam came back to the house with a group of customers and geiko. They drank and played the samisen until deep into the night, then finally went to bed.

Strangely, Kiku felt no hesitation or indecision....

"Really?!" The following day, after the man heard what Kiku had to say, he scratched his chest and said, "That's fine! But if you want to become a geiko, it'll end up costing you a lot of money because of the way the Maruyama quarter operates. It'd be simplest if you became a companion to the Tang fellow I told you about." The man offered no further explanation, but he was obviously referring to a Chinese resident of Nagasaki; the Chinese were still collectively referred to as "Tangs" in the early years of the Meiji period.4 During the Edo period, the Chinese, like the Dutch in Dejima, were confined to one predetermined section of the city, and for a time they were prohibited from wandering at will outside their quarter. The j.a.panese referred to the quarter as the "Chinese Estates" or the "Chinese Settlement." But with the end of the Edo period and the transition into Meiji, this restrictive segregation was eliminated.

"So, when can you come to the Nakajuku brokerage house?"

The Nakajuku brokerage house was located in what was once called Honkago-machi; it was the rendezvous spot for prost.i.tutes who had authorization to work inside the Chinese Estates. Since both the Chinese and the Dutch were barred from entering Maruyama in search of entertainment, it became the practice for a restricted number of prost.i.tutes to go to the brokerage house and wait for a call from a customer.

"I'm busy every night," Kiku answered quietly. "The only time I can leave the teahouse is during the day."

The man replied that he would have to consult with his client. "You'll be paid one ryo for a single night as his companion. And you won't have to spend time with other clients, so it's the best possible situation for you. My client is ridiculously rich, so it doesn't get any better than this!" He went on to boast about how he had gotten to know the Chinese man.

On the afternoon of the appointed day, Kiku left the Yamazaki Teahouse under the pretense that she was going shopping and set out in search of the brokerage house at Nakajuku. The man was standing in front of a Chinese temple known as the Dojind, located in Kannai-machi.

The distinctive smell of the Chinese filled the neighborhood: pork, oil, incense, and garlic. They all blended together to produce an odor that had permeated the houses and even the streets.

"Kiku, I'm over here!" The man raised a bony arm from his worn-out kimono.

The histories say that originally this Chinese Settlement was enclosed by a bamboo fence or, at times, a moat, and that traffic through the main or inner gate was closely supervised. But such precautions had been done away with by the beginning of the Meiji period.

Although the restrictions had been lifted, the atmosphere in the Chinese quarter was utterly different from that in Maruyama. The brilliant vermilion colors of such buildings as the Doks.h.i.+, the Kanteiby, and the Kannond were unusual, as were the rows of tiny shops selling Chinese liquors and confections, each with signs written in characters that Kiku could not decipher. She could hear the sound of flutes being played inside those shops.

"My Chinese client doesn't know much j.a.panese," the man said, walking along with his hands in his pockets. "It'd be a good idea for you to learn some Chinese words."

"What sorts of words?"

"Our clients here are called s.h.i.+nkan-san. s.h.i.+nkan-san means 'an important person.' 'What would you like?' is in-mou? 'Good woman' is ei-gii."

The man taught her several Chinese words of dubious accuracy that he had picked up secondhand, but Kiku had no wish to exert herself to listen to them. Her head was filled with thoughts only of the three ryo that It Seizaemon had demanded of her.

They went into one of the shops. It displayed a skillfully penned sign reading, "The Kgei Pavilion," but Kiku could not read it.

The man nodded his head toward a young Chinese man sipping tea inside the shop and introduced him to Kiku. "This fellow will act as your interpreter.... I have to go now, but I'm leaving everything to him, so you've got nothing to worry about."

The young Chinese set down his teacup and said to Kiku, "Your client is upstairs. He's there waiting for you."

"Yes, sir."

He led her upstairs. A plump Chinese man with a healthy complexion sat in a room with an open window, fanning himself with a large fan and sipping tea.

"Can you read?" the young Chinese asked Kiku.

"No."

"This gentleman says he wants to talk with you by writing down his questions and your answers...."

The customer held out a piece of paper for Kiku to see.

"What in the world does that mean?" Confounded, Kiku asked the young man.