The Nanny Part 20

"Resigned."

"Don't say that. You took a risk, and it didn't pay off. I'm still going to try and help."

"How?"

"Just leave it to me."

d.i.c.k sighed. "I can't believe I got myself into this mess."

"Dad, stop torturing yourself."

There was a pause.

"It would have all been okay," said Josh, "if it wasn't for that screw up that night."

"Why couldn't you have just used your key?" asked d.i.c.k.

"'Cos someone forgot to tell me the nanny lived off the kitchen, didn't they? I thought I was going to be beaten to death."

"Well where do you think the nanny lives?"

"I don't know! Under the stairs? We don't have nannies in bachelor pads. More's the pity."

d.i.c.k let out a sigh.

"And then," continues Josh. "Vanessa goes and gives her a raise! Don't get me wrong, I don't want the girl to starve, but-"

"I know. It's not ideal, Josh, and I'm sorry. After everything you've-"

"No, Dad, I'm sorry. I just...wanted to help. I messed up again."

"Josh, you're helping by just being there."

Josh stayed silent.

"Son, you are not responsible for my...for this."

More silence.

"I better get back now," said d.i.c.k. "Bye, son."

In the record shop, d.i.c.k put down the phone, picked up his jacket, and locked the door behind him for the third time that morning. Josh wiped his face furiously on his sleeve, limped back into the kitchen, and resumed his work.

Chapter 12.

It was teatime and Jo had invited Pippa and Georgiana over to play. Sebastian James joined them because his mother was at a vital Pilates lesson. Jo was obliging Zak by wearing a cat outfit, which consisted of a black-and-white furry cat hat with cat ears, cat mittens, and a proud black-and-white cat tail, while he painstakingly drew her. Over tea and Marks & Spencer chocolate squares, Zak filled in his drawing of Jo as Catwoman, Jo filled Pippa in about Shaun's visit, and Sebastian James filled his nappy.

"Where shall I take Shaun?" asked Jo. "I'd ask Gerry, but I don't feel it's appropriate."

"Ooh," said Pippa. "So you do like Gerry?"

"No." Jo frowned. "Not like that."

"So why are you keeping him interested?"

"For you! He might have a friend."

"Uh-huh."

"Oh G.o.d," said Jo. "I'm so confused."

"Why?"

Jo looked at Zak. "You know..." she said. Zak didn't even look up. He was filling in Jo's cat tail.

Pippa mouthed, "Josh," and Jo nodded.

"Told him yet?"

Jo shook her head, and Pippa tutted, then dunked her chocolate square in her tea and sucked contentedly.

"How's the picture of Catwoman going?" Jo asked Zak.

Zak didn't look up from his drawing. "Fine."

"Pippa," said Jo, turning back to Pippa, "either Sebastian James needs changing, or you've got a serious problem."

"I know. I was seeing how long I could leave it."

"Well, give it another ten minutes and I'll be sick."

Pippa looked at her watch. "Okay."

Five minutes later his picture was finished, and while Pippa changed Sebastian James, Zak performed the unveiling ceremony in front of Jo.

Her ears were a bit big, one arm was longer than the other, and she only had one leg, but apart from that it was an uncanny resemblance, especially the bouncy tail, which seemed to defy gravity.

"That's fantastic, Zak!" she cried. "Look! I've got a tail!"

"Of course you've got a tail," said Zak. "You're Catwoman. Can I have my Fruitellas now?"

"Not till after tea."

When the mummy of Sam, one of Zak's best friends phoned, Jo answered it happily. "I'm not accusing him of anything," said Sam's mum wearily over the phone. "It's just that Sam can't find his tortoise anywhere, and he's distraught."

"Of course I'll ask," said Jo. "I'll call you straight back and let you know."

She clicked off the phone and sat next to Zak, swis.h.i.+ng her tail deftly out of the way.

"Zak," she said.

"Mm."

"That was Sam's mummy."

Zak went quiet.

"Sam's very upset."

"Mm?"

"Because he thinks he's lost his toy tortoise."

Zak shrugged.

"Do you want to go upstairs and have a good look and see if you didn't bring it home accidentally?"

For a few seconds Zak's body seemed to fight itself, but finally the part that knew there was no point in arguing stomped upstairs, furious that the other half of his body hadn't been stronger.

"I can't find it!" he shouted immediately.

"Do you want me to come up and help you look?"

"Found it!"

Jo crossed her arms.

Zak came downstairs and produced a tiny plastic tortoise for her to inspect. A deep flush had spread all over his cheeks and he couldn't look her in the eye.

"I'm not pleased, Zak," said an unimpressed Catwoman.

"I just FOUND it."

"Don't lie to me, Zak," said Jo firmly. "If there's one thing I cannot bear, it's lying."

Zak felt surprisingly icky.

"I'm going to phone Sam's mummy," she said.

"It was an accident!"

Once the call had been made, she went upstairs and found Zak sitting on his bed.

"It was an accident!" he repeated, though with decreasing vehemence.

Jo sat down on the bed, her tail perkily behind her.

"Zak. How would you feel if Sam came here and took home your cyberdog?"

Zak's foot started tapping and he took in air like a fish out of water, a useless displacement activity his body did to stop tears coming. "It was an accident," he whispered, but the tears gave him away.

"You've stolen something, then lied about it," said Jo sadly.

Zak fell facedown onto his pillow as she left the room.

After changing Sebastian James's nappy, Pippa helped Jo compile a list of the top London clubs, wine bars, and restaurants to introduce Shaun to and help make the weekend go with a bang, "'Cos it doesn't look like there'll be much other banging going on," she told Jo.

Tallulah entered.

"I need to do a poo," she announced with great aplomb.

When the doorbell rang, Jo grimaced at Pippa. "That's probably Josh back from his walk, forgotten his key again. You don't mind getting it do you? Tallulah and I have a prior engagement."

"Course not," said Pippa. "Can't wait to see the famous Joshua Fitzgerald."

Pippa went to answer the door, holding Sebastian James in his car seat against her hip. The sun shone on her blond hair, showing up the hazel flecks in her eyes, as she grinned openly at the two tall men in suits standing at the door.

Nick and Gerry looked at her keenly and, thanks to years of undercover training, remembered not to pant.

"h.e.l.lo!" said Pippa to Nick.

"h.e.l.lo!" said Nick and Gerry.

They all grinned happily at each other.

"Can I help?" asked Pippa.

"We just came to pop in on Jo," said Gerry.

"Well, he did," explained Nick. "I just came along for the ride."

Pippa and Nick smiled at each other. "Well," said Pippa, as seductively as she could, "Jo's just wiping Tallulah's bottom, would you like to come in?"

"How could we refuse?" answered Nick, and the two men entered the house.

When Jo and Tallulah came into the kitchen a while later, they found an intriguing sight. One CID officer was reading How Much Do I Love You? to Sebastian James at the kitchen table, the other sitting in the conservatory armchair with Georgiana on his lap, reading Whatever Next?

Nick and Gerry also found an intriguing sight. Jo stood long-limbed in front of them, wearing a furry cat hat with pointy ears, mittens, and a bouncy tail. The sun that had done such favors for Pippa's hair was making Jo's dark blue eyes look all the more feline.

"'Allo, 'allo, 'allo," greeted Nick. "Looks like we've found our cat burglar."