The Nanny Part 21

"Do you think we should take her away for questioning?" suggested Gerry.

"You brought your dog-c.r.a.p friend!" Jo laughed.

"Well, actually-" started Nick, glancing at Pippa, who grinned back at him.

"They've been reading to the children," said Pippa. "Looks like our work here is done!"

Tallulah, yet to learn the complex ways of feminine guile, ran up to the nearest man in the room. "I did a poo!" she exclaimed.

"Did you?" asked Gerry. "Uncle Nicholas likes those."

Tallulah turned to Nick obediently. "I did a poo!" she told him.

"Well done!" he said sincerely. Truth was he never failed to be impressed by those. The lads at the station would understand ("I just gave birth to a seven pounder..." "That's nothing, mate, I needed st.i.tches last Tuesday..." "b.o.l.l.o.c.ks. Until either of you get a nosebleed, I'm still King of the c.r.a.ps," etc).

"It wasn't as squidgy as yesterday," continued Tallulah.

"Really?" asked Nick. "Excellent."

He then looked at Jo apologetically. "Did you get it off the duvet?"

Tallulah let out a gale of laughter. "I didn't do it on the duvet, silly!" she giggled. "He's being silly!" she informed Jo.

"Yes, thanks." Jo grinned at Nick. "First wash."

"Just let me find that dog in a dark alley," said Nick. "It'll be c.r.a.pping sideways for a month."

"Ooh," quivered Pippa. "s.e.xy."

Tallulah giggled so much she almost fell over. The laughter caught her body unawares, and she let out a neat little trumpet.

"I did a fart!" she cried gleefully.

"Well done!" congratulated Nick and Gerry, genuinely impressed. At last, a female they could talk to.

"I'll tell you what you can do to make up for it though," teased Jo.

"Dinner for two?" asked Gerry.

"No. You can show a good little six-year-old boy your badge."

"I didn't do a poo on the duvet, silly!" repeated Tallulah, climbing onto the lap of the nearest man. But he seemed far more interested in the sight of Jo wandering off with a p.u.s.s.ycat tail bouncing up and down on her J-Lo bottom.

While Jo went upstairs to tell Zak the exciting news, Pippa, Tallulah, and Georgiana made the men a cup of tea. Alone in the room, the two men exchanged meaningful glances.

"I'd rather show her something else than my badge, Nicholas, if you know what I mean," Gerry whispered.

"Shh!" said Nick, putting his hands over Sebastian James's ears. "Not in front of the littl'un, Gerrard."

"Sorry, Nicholas. Wasn't thinking."

Jo put her head round Zak's door.

"Zak," she whispered.

Zak was perched on the edge of his bed, head tilted slightly, feet crossed at the toes, eyes wide, watching Buffy about to kick the h.e.l.l out of a vampire. He pressed the pause b.u.t.ton and pointed at the screen.

"Look!" he said. "She's about to boff him!"

"Ooh! Lovely! I've got a surprise for you."

Zak's eyes doubled in size.

"What?"

"Guess who's downstairs!"

"Who?"

"You'll like it," she said.

"Batman?"

"No."

"Spider-Man?"

"No."

"Yoda!"

"This may take some time."

"Daddy?"

Jo thought she'd better tell him before it became too much of a bitter disappointment.

"Two real live policemen."

Zak gasped in horror, his face turning purple.

"It was an accident!" he shrieked, backing away against the wall. "I'm not going to prison!"

Jo realized her mistake, but not before Zak had gone through the terror barrier and come back again.

He got his Fruitellas early that afternoon.

During the afternoon with Nick and Gerry, Jo managed to mention Shaun casually a few times, helped by prompts from Pippa, and she felt sure that Gerry clearly received and understood the message. In fact he seemed to have taken it very well. So when both men invited her and Pippa out in a foursome to the cinema the following Sat.u.r.day, the weekend after Shaun's visit, she felt confident that it was all aboveboard.

Unfortunately Josh got home from his slow ankle-strengthening stroll round Waterlow Park before the men had left, after Pippa had gone and before she'd taken her outfit off.

When he entered the kitchen, she was reaching up, blu-tacking Zak's picture of her to the top of the fridge door. She felt the atmosphere change and swung round, her tail bouncing behind her. Josh was standing in the doorway looking at Nick and Gerry. Then he turned to her, paused in what looked like midthought, and blinked. She stood tall while he slowly took everything in. Her hand shot to her curvy tail and rested on it defensively as Josh's eyes went to her black-and-white furry hat and fluffy ears, and then slid downward. She tried to smile, then tried not to. Eventually, he looked back at her eyes.

The room was silent.

Josh lifted his eyebrows. "Coppers follow your tail then?" he queried quietly.

Gerry laughed, and the room seemed to breathe out. "Too right, mate."

"h.e.l.lo," said Josh, in a faux-cheerful tone. "It's Maverick and Dog c.r.a.p. Back again?"

"Looks like it," said Gerry, just as cheerfully.

Josh glanced at Jo before turning to Gerry. "Have a nice time." And with that, he went into the living room.

Jo raised her eyes heavenward and caught a glimpse of the clock. With a start, she realized she was late for Ca.s.sandra's pickup from choir practice. Within five minutes, she'd got the policemen, Tallulah, and Zak out. She drove like a maniac to find the little girl sitting miserably on the school wall. Not even the sight of Jo wearing cat ears cheered her up.

"Right, let's get started," Vanessa told Anthony and Tom, crossing one stockinged leg over the other.

Anthony coughed quietly, lowering his face into his hand.

"I've spent a fascinating morning with VC, and here's what they want," she began.

"They want fast, they want funny, they want friendly."

"Right," said Tom, making to stand up. "We'll get on to it."

"I haven't finished."

"How did I know that?" He sat down again.

"They want bubbly, clean-cut, clean-shaven, clean-living, white, heteros.e.xual, happy, family-loving, new Labour-voting but growing cynical, preferably with blue eyes."

"Right."

"The key thought is 'Takes you to another world.'"

Tom and Anthony wrote down all this information.

"What color underwear would they like?" asked Tom.

Vanessa sighed. "VC are fascists. I'm not apologizing, I'm just telling you."

"We were hoping to get a dwarf in the ad" said Tom, for the h.e.l.l of it.

Vanessa smiled. "I was hoping I'd get a holiday before the summer," she said. "Life's a b.i.t.c.h."

Anthony laughed.

"It looks like their marketing director is the biggest cow in the world," she continued.

"I swear these people have How to Be a b.a.s.t.a.r.d training weekends. There's just no point trying to fight it."

Anthony nodded. No point indeed. He kept his eyes on Vanessa.

"Have you ever tried to create anything, Vanessa?" Tom asked quietly.

Vanessa tensed. "Three children, a happy home life, and a career path," she said. "Besides that, nothing much."

"I mean really create anything?" repeated Tom. "Something from a key thought-spun magic from a shopping list of requirements? Something unique, memorable, clever, original from nothing but your own ideas...your own imagination...your, your innards."

Vanessa looked at him. "Ooh! Listen!" she suddenly exclaimed. Tom and Anthony listened.

"What?" whispered Anthony.

"Warning bells," said Vanessa wryly. "b.l.o.o.d.y deafening."

Tom sighed loudly.

"No, Tom," she told him. "That sort of creativity is your job. My job is to squeeze your enormous talent into the small mind of a marketing director."

Tom's frame expanded. "It's a tough job." He grinned. "But someone's gotta do it."

They all smiled at each other. Wow, thought Anthony. Three children, and she still has that body.

After the meeting, he hung back, fiddling with his papers while Vanessa packed up all her notes. As she left, he fell into step beside her.

"Coming for a quick drink?" he asked her. "We're only going downstairs."

"I should get back home. I have a husband to be bitter at."

"Oh go on." He smiled. "It's vital to work up a good relations.h.i.+p with us. I think Tom would appreciate it."

Vanessa paused. "You think I was a bit heavy with him?"

Anthony smiled, and Vanessa admitted that if you liked blonds, he really was a stunner.

"I think it wouldn't go amiss to show willing and buy him a quick drink," Anthony confided.

Vanessa looked at her watch. Ca.s.sie would have been picked up. And it wouldn't do her career any harm to build up a relations.h.i.+p with these guys. If they genuinely liked her, there was more chance they'd work well for her, which meant there was more chance of a great Christmas bonus for them all. She'd be doing it for her family.

"Alright." She smiled. "Just the one."

Four hours later, Tom was the first to go home.

"One for the road?" Anthony asked Vanessa.

"Why? Does the road need me semiconscious?"