Con Law Part 53

'Thank you for the levity, Mr. Stanton.'

'My pleasure, Professor.'

'But, Mr. Stanton, what's the difference between A, Congress ordering a citizen to buy health insurance and enforcing that with a monetary penalty, which the Court said is unconst.i.tutional, and B, Congress taxing a citizen for refusing to buy health insurance, which the Court said was const.i.tutional?'

'Nothing. It's exactly the same result. Congress is using its power to force citizens to do something they don't want to do and taking your money if you refuse to do it. Roberts engaged in const.i.tutional sophistry.'

'Why would he do that?'

'Because Roberts wants the New York Times to like him. The liberal media destroyed the legal reputations of conservative justices like Rehnquist and Scalia, and Roberts doesn't want to suffer the same fate. Problem is, he doesn't understand that the liberals might like him now since he upheld the biggest government takeover of American life in history, but the first time he goes against them, they'll crucify him. That's what they do. So he cratered. He betrayed the Const.i.tution.'

Ms. Garza stood and faced Mr. Stanton. The debate was on.

'Roberts grew a conscience, that's why he voted with the liberals.'

'Funny how it's always a conservative justice who crosses over to vote with the liberals, but no liberal justice ever crosses over to vote with the conservatives. Why is that?'

'Because we're always right.'

'And therein lies the problem: self-righteous liberals in America who want the government to make an unfair life fair, unsuccessful people successful, stupid people smart, and everyone ride a bike.'

'Ride this.'

Ms. Garza stuck her middle finger in the air at Mr. Stanton. He turned his eyes to Book and his hands up.

'Holster that finger, Ms. Garza. And please sit down. We're here to discuss con law, not social policy.'

'Con law is social policy.'

'Yeah,' Mr. Stanton said, 'because liberal justices believe government should control our economic lives.'

'And conservative white male justices believe government should control our personal lives,' Ms. Garza said.

'I don't want some uneducated minimum-wage government bureaucrat who wasn't smart enough to get a job in the private sector deciding whether my children get life-saving treatments.'

'You'd rather have a greedy profit-driven insurance company deciding?'

'Yes. You know why, Ms. Garza?'

'Because your daddy owns stock in those insurance companies?'

'Besides that?'

'No.'

'Sovereign immunity.'

'What?'

'If the insurance company denies treatment and my son dies, I can sue them for a billion dollars. That keeps them honest. If a government bureaucrat denies treatment and my son dies, I can't sue the federal government for a penny. It's called sovereign immunity.'

Ms. Garza shrugged. 'That's the price we pay to solve social problems.'

'Name one social problem the federal government has ever solved, Ms. Garza. Education? Drugs? Energy? Poverty? Now they're going to solve our healthcare.'

'The forty million poor people who can't afford health insurance deserve medical care, too.'

'They've got free healthcare. It's called the public hospital. And how many of those so-called "poor" people have tricked-out trucks with thousand-dollar wheels and iPhones and tickets to every pro football game, but they just can't afford healthcare? Those "poor" people know they can still get free medical care, so why pay for it? Why not suck off everyone else? We don't have forty million people who can't afford healthcare insurance. We have ten million who can't and thirty million who won't. Who'd rather let the rest of us pay their way.'

Mr. Stanton leaned down again and held up another T-s.h.i.+rt that read: OBAMA-MART: WHEN EVERYTHING IS FREE BECAUSE THE GUY BEHIND YOU PAYS.

The cla.s.s enjoyed the T-s.h.i.+rt.

'Mr. Stanton, did you go shopping this weekend?'

'Yep. In honor of our last cla.s.s with Ms. Garza and her T-s.h.i.+rts.'

'Ah.'

Ms. Garza was not yet ready to surrender.

'We do too have forty million people who can't afford health insurance-they said so on the evening news.'

Mr. Stanton laughed. 'You shouldn't be so gullible, Ms. Garza. The poverty industry puts out that misinformation so the government will keep sending trillions their way. And the liberal media repeats it without investigation because it fits their political bias.'

'Let's get back to Obamacare,' Book said. 'Under the rationale of this case, is there any human activity or non-activity that Congress may not regulate under the Const.i.tution?'

'Nope,' Mr. Stanton said. 'They've got it all now. In fact, in oral arguments, the justices asked the government lawyer that exact question, and he couldn't think of a single human act that would be free from government control. So now five justices-five lawyers-have given Congress the absolute authority to tell us to do something, to tell us how to do it, and to fine us-I'm sorry, tax us-if we refuse to do it. I think that's what they call communism.'

'It's called social justice,' Ms. Garza said.

'Only if you're a communist.'

'All right,' Book said, 'today's Supreme Court decisions are precedents for tomorrow's decisions. When the Court decided Obamacare, the justices searched for precedents to support their positions. Now that Obamacare has been ruled const.i.tutional-now that the Supreme Court has given its stamp of approval to Congress pa.s.sing laws that tax citizens if they refuse to engage in a specified commercial activity-what might be the next law that climbs on top of this precedent?'

'Taxing us if we refuse to buy that Chevy to protect the domestic auto industry?'

'Yes. But I'm thinking of something bigger.'

'Taxing us if we refuse to eat vegetables?'

'Come on, people. This requires thought. Think about the Court's prior cases, big precedents that made law, like this case. Put those precedents together and what do you have? If the government can force the citizens to do something they don't want to do by taxing them if they refuse to do it, where might that precedent lead us?'

'To Russia and Comrade Putin,' Mr. Stanton said.

He held up another T-s.h.i.+rt: OBAMACARE: HEALTHCARE YOU CAN'T REFUSE. Which evoked more laughter.

Book scanned the cla.s.s. Mr. Brennan was dutifully transcribing his every word, other students were texting or tweeting or zoning out. His eyes landed on a head hiding behind her laptop.

'Ms. Roberts.'

She peeked above the laptop.

'You know, don't you?'

She nodded as if confessing to a crime.

'Please, tell the cla.s.s.'

She pushed hair from her face and spoke in her soft voice. The cla.s.s seemed to lean toward her as one.

'Well, under the Obamacare ruling, the government can't order a woman to have an abortion even though medical care is commerce because that would exceed Congress's authority under the Commerce Clause; but, under the same Obamacare ruling, the government can tax a woman if she refuses to have an abortion.'

'But the Bill of Rights would prohibit the government from doing that.'

'No, it wouldn't. The Court in Roe v. Wade ruled that the, quote, "developing organism" inside the woman has no const.i.tutional rights or protections whatsoever under the Bill of Rights because it is not a, quote, "person" prior to birth. Under the precedents of Roe and Obamacare, the Court would uphold such a law. And the circle would be complete: we are nothing more than rocks.'

'But why would our government ever do such a thing?'

'Perhaps the sonogram shows the baby has a genetic defect that would require expensive medical care for life. Or the woman is unmarried with no means of support for the child, and public support would add to the deficit. They would do it to save money.'

'But that's just wild speculation, isn't it? I mean, we don't have anything to really worry about, do we? We're an advanced civilization. What civilized nation on earth would ever pa.s.s such a law?'

'China.'

'Thank you, Ms. Roberts.'

Mr. Stanton held up another T-s.h.i.+rt: OBAMACARE: BEND OVER, THIS IS GONNA HURT.

'Mr. Stanton, how many of those do you have?'

'Just one more.'

'But, Professor,' Ms. Garza said, 'if the government can't force people to do the right thing, how can the government solve big problems like healthcare?'

'Ms. Garza, the Framers did not create a federal government that possesses all powers except those denied in the Const.i.tution, but rather a government that possesses only those powers granted in the Const.i.tution. Perhaps the federal government isn't supposed to solve-or try to solve-every social problem in America. To solve the problem of obesity, the federal government is now telling every school district in America what to feed their students for lunch. Is that what Madison, Hamilton, Jefferson, and Was.h.i.+ngton intended the national government to do when they created this country? Perhaps that responsibility resides in the fifty states.'

'But we have an obesity problem in America,' Ms. Garza said.

Ms. Roberts raised her hand. Book nodded at her.

'The dissent wrote, "The Const.i.tution enumerates not federally soluble problems, but federally available powers ... Article One contains no whatever-it-takes-to-solve-a-problem power." I like that.'

Ms. Garza glared at her. 'Like this, Liz.'

Another middle finger. Book couldn't help but hope that Ms. Garza was put in another professor's Con Law II cla.s.s next year. Mr. Stanton stood on the back row.

'Professor, in honor of our last cla.s.s with Ms. Garza and her T-s.h.i.+rts, I offer this final reb.u.t.tal.'

Mr. Stanton yanked open his b.u.t.ton-down s.h.i.+rt to reveal a white T-s.h.i.+rt underneath that read: F#CK OBAMACARE, I'M MOVING TO CANADA.

The cla.s.s laughed.

'And with that, ladies and gentlemen, Con Law One is adjourned for the year.'

The students applauded. The males slapped backs and exchanged fist-b.u.mps; the females embraced. Cla.s.ses were finished; final exams awaited. Some students left, others gathered around Book. He signed books; they took photos.

The Marfa story had hit the national media.

Book returned to his office to find Myrna on the phone.

'Here he is.' She held the phone out to him. 'The police.'

'h.e.l.lo.'

'Professor, it's Sergeant Taylor again. Your mother wandered off, we found her at the Condoms to Go store. Took her back home, I'm waiting for your sister.'

'Thank you, Sergeant.'

'Professor ...'

'Yes?'

'It's time.'

He handed the phone to Myrna then rubbed his forehead. The st.i.tches had come out, but the scar itched.

Myrna smiled. 'All the girls think that scar makes you look s.e.xy.'

'Oh, good. What time is the Welch hearing?'

'Canceled.'

'Why?'

'Scotty Raines called, said the D.A. dropped all charges against Bobby Welch. And his dad called from the Betty Ford Clinic in Palm Springs. Said he checked the boy in for six months. Said thank you and that he had fulfilled both promises.' She looked up from her notes. 'Promises?'

'Personal.'

She leaned down and came back up with a plastic container. She held it out to Book.

'Fried chicken. And don't worry, I fried it in peanut oil. You won't die if you eat it.'

'Thanks.'

She went back to her notes. 'TV shows want you on next Sunday.'