The Ship Avenged Part 38

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, ashamed of her powerlessness and fighting to keep her tears from falling.

"Like you, Joat, I find I don't like the idea of a life of servitude."

"Oh," her voice creaked. "Might not be that bad. They'll probably declare you an AI s.h.i.+p and send you out on your own. You'd be making your own decisions and not getting yourself in the kind of trouble I've lead you into."

"AI a.s.signments tend to be the most tedious kind," Rand said. "No crew, no stimulation, not even an allowance for virtual reality in port-computers don't get paid. And I would scarcely be making my own decisions Joat, other than: "Should I allow myself to be hit by this rock or should I avoid it?" I'd scarcely call that autonomy," Rand said with scorn.

One side of her mouth crooked.

"You sound like me," she said.

"And why wouldn't I? You've put a great deal of yourself into me."

And children often resemble their parents, she thought morbidly. she thought morbidly.

"Excuse me," die tall one said, "are you through yet?'

"Just a minute!" she snapped. The repo-man glared, but withdrew. Joat thought she heard him say, ". . . think they've got an AI on board." Turning back to Rand, she said: "It's not over yet, buddy. Maybe there's still something we can do. At least now I'm free to move around."

"Correct me if I'm wrong. You have no credits."

"You're wrong. Little Silky owes us a considerable amount, and she will will pay us." pay us."

"Why should she," Rand asked reasonably enough. "You can't make her."

"I may not love him, but I'm Nomik Ciety's niece. A quick genetic scan will prove our relations.h.i.+p, and the Family is very fond of backing family rights. Probably, all I have to do is make the claim and I could put his whole empire, such as it is, on hold."

"You can't hope to win such a claim," Rand's voice was almost surprised.

"Of course not. But it would cost more to hire an a.s.sa.s.sin than it would to pay me what she owes, and it would cost twice that to retain an attorney."

"She could challenge you to a duel."

"I can take her."

"If I were human, I would laugh. Silken hates you, Joat. To the point of obsession. I'm sure that nothing would give her greater pleasure than killing you herself. Probably she hasn't challenged you simply because it hasn't occurred to her."

Joat grinned savagely.

"Oh, it's occurred to her all right. But she won't risk leaving Ciety alone and at the mercy of the Family. If he were dead we'd have crossed swords long since."

"So you'll be able to leave."

"Yes. And I'll be able to call in favors, perhaps get a loan," she was silent a moment, "maybe even get through to Bros. So don't give up on me. Okay? I won't make that an order."

Philosophers might debate whether it was possible possible for a computer to commit suicide, since it wasn't certain that they could be self-aware in the first place. Rands "impa.s.sive" face blinked multicolored lights for a few moments. for a computer to commit suicide, since it wasn't certain that they could be self-aware in the first place. Rands "impa.s.sive" face blinked multicolored lights for a few moments.

"Very well, I will abide. But, if I am sold to someone else, Joat, I won't serve them. If worst comes to worst I've saved a copy of Seg's worm program. Should some other bidder obtain the Wyal I Wyal I shall trigger it. If I don't fight it, it will be very quick." shall trigger it. If I don't fight it, it will be very quick."

"You can't be serious," Joat whispered. She couldn't believe her ears. "Aren't you even willing to give a new owner a chance to prove their worth before taking such a drastic step?"

She wondered if she'd programmed him for self-preservation. Of course I did! I couldn't possibly have left it out, it's too important. Of course I did! I couldn't possibly have left it out, it's too important. Not that it was unknown for Rand to erase bits of programming he didn't want anymore. She'd never locked down any part of him, preferring to leave that . . . freedom, for himself. Not that it was unknown for Rand to erase bits of programming he didn't want anymore. She'd never locked down any part of him, preferring to leave that . . . freedom, for himself.

"I am an individual," Rand insisted, "there is no more individual choice than this."

Joat sat still, too horrified to speak.

"All right, that's enough," the shorter repo-man struck the back of her chair, making it spin towards him. "Stop yakking to the computer, go pack up your belongings and get lost."

Her mind was wholly on Rand, or she would have kicked his tubby form through the bulkhead. Instead she gave him a disgusted look and headed off the bridge.

"Hey! Don't forget these," he said and handed her the collection of datahedrons she'd made.

"Personal files, erased," said Rand mechanically.

Joat sat in the auction room with her heart in her mouth.

It was an enormous hall, too brightly lit, with a strange sharp smell to it. The hall was furnished with ugly, uncomfortable chairs each having one arm that terminated in a small computer with a display screen. Currently it displayed the s.h.i.+p being bid on. There were a few controls that would call up information on the s.h.i.+p, schematics, history, and beside them a slot into which a successful bidder's credit chip would go. Almost every seat was filled with junk dealers, purchase agents, and bargain hunters.

She had with her every credit she could beg, borrow or earn and it was still forty thousand credits short of the fine.

Wyal was going on the block. was going on the block.

It was third on the list and the closer it got to the top the faster her heart beat. Her palms were sweating and she rubbed them surrept.i.tiously on the fabric of her dark blue business suit. The strange, formal garment she wore in hope of looking more respectable only succeeded in making her feel obvious and awkward. I should have robbed that bank. I should. I should have robbed that bank. I should. Robbing banks on Rohan . . . Robbing banks on Rohan . . .

The hammer went down and the Wyal Wyal moved one place closer to the block. Her breathing grew nervous and ragged. moved one place closer to the block. Her breathing grew nervous and ragged.

She knew, she knew knew that she wouldn't get her s.h.i.+p back. Silken was certain to have agents among the bidders who would know to the credit how much she had. Agents who were, no doubt, instructed to bid just one credit more. that she wouldn't get her s.h.i.+p back. Silken was certain to have agents among the bidders who would know to the credit how much she had. Agents who were, no doubt, instructed to bid just one credit more.

Alvec, who was working short, freelance hops, had offered his life savings.

"I can't take this," she'd told him, horrified and deeply touched, as well as terribly tempted.

"So make me a partner," he'd said.

And she'd smiled, hope blazing.

But it hadn't been enough. It had never been enough and Bros Sperin remained beyond her reach. So here she was, facing certain defeat, feeling humiliated before she even began.

How could I have been so stupid? she railed at herself. When had she grown so soft that she would put her freedom on the line, for someone else, mind you, with no expectation of cost or reward? she railed at herself. When had she grown so soft that she would put her freedom on the line, for someone else, mind you, with no expectation of cost or reward? My own fault. Playing at spy, My own fault. Playing at spy, she mocked, she mocked, I'm no better than Seg !T'sel. I'm no better than Seg !T'sel.

Alvec was furious with her for not asking Amos for help.

"I asked my father," she'd said. Though of course she hadn't told Simeon why why she needed credits. "That's as much as my pride can take." she needed credits. "That's as much as my pride can take."

That was partially true, it had hurt to ask Simeon for help. Even though he gave it willingly and offered to take out a loan for more, no questions asked, it hurt. She'd felt like a complete failure. First Brawn school, and now this.

Nor did she dare to ask Amos for help. Bethel was a poor planet, most of her credits already committed for years to come. And though he was very rich, Amos was in the habit of pouring most of his wealth back into his world's struggling economy. She couldn't very well ask him to choose her needs over the good of his people. And she didn't think he would really understand about Rand.

Joat wondered if Joseph and Amos hovered in the same state of anxiety that tortured her, wanting to give, not daring to offer. Or if they even knew.

Either way she simply couldn't afford the time or the money it would cost to ask, only to be told no.

A deeper truth was that she felt Amos should have offered. Or Joseph should have. He He knew all about the debt. Yet the total silence from all the powerful people she'd counted as friends-or more than friends-never varied. In the end she was just a forgotten detail, an unimportant loose end. knew all about the debt. Yet the total silence from all the powerful people she'd counted as friends-or more than friends-never varied. In the end she was just a forgotten detail, an unimportant loose end.

Joat frowned. Oh, stop it, Oh, stop it, she thought disgustedly, she thought disgustedly, there's no poison deadlier than self-pity. The mistake was yours and so's the punishment. there's no poison deadlier than self-pity. The mistake was yours and so's the punishment.

Although that last wasn't completely true. Rand had made it very plain that he didn't count himself as part of the s.h.i.+p.

Rand's threat had certainly inspired her to new heights, and depths, in her fund-raising efforts. Sometimes, late at night when she couldn't get to sleep for thinking about it, Joat told herself that was why he'd made it. To get her over her shyness about asking friends for help.

Probably he doesn't mean to erase himself at all, she comforted herself. she comforted herself. Hah! A computer that plays with you. Somehow I don't think this idea witt sell. Hah! A computer that plays with you. Somehow I don't think this idea witt sell.

Joat knew that if she lost the s.h.i.+p, and Rand erased himself, for the rest of her life, she was going to feel like a failure and a murderer.

There might still be time to get through to Amos on Bethel, she thought. she thought.

The next s.h.i.+p up was a tasty offering that seemed to have excited a lot of interest. Of course sometimes those were the ones that came on and off the block so fast you couldn't get a decent look at them.

Then there was the cost to consider.

A tight-beam interstellar corn-link could cost me four percent of what I've got. On the other hand tight-beam interstellar corn-link could cost me four percent of what I've got. On the other hand ... On the other hand Silken's bidders wouldn't let her have the ... On the other hand Silken's bidders wouldn't let her have the Wyal Wyal anyway unless she could exceed Nomik Ciety's entire fortune. And she couldn't even pay the fine. anyway unless she could exceed Nomik Ciety's entire fortune. And she couldn't even pay the fine.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them she saw that she'd been right. The bidding was over and the s.h.i.+p had sold.

"I have an announcement," the auctioneer said. "The have an announcement," the auctioneer said. "The Wyal, Wyal, which is the next s.h.i.+p on the list, has been withdrawn from bid. We're sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused. I'll repeat that. The which is the next s.h.i.+p on the list, has been withdrawn from bid. We're sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused. I'll repeat that. The Wyal, Wyal, a merchant freighter s.h.i.+p, has been withdrawn from bid." a merchant freighter s.h.i.+p, has been withdrawn from bid."

Joat s felt the bottom of her stomach lurch into zero-g. My s.h.i.+p! What have they done with my s.h.i.+p? My s.h.i.+p! What have they done with my s.h.i.+p?

Absently she noted two bidders that turned to stare at her. Silken's people, no doubt. Well, they seemed satisfied by the look of white-faced horror that she knew she must be wearing. They'd be happy to report this disaster to their employer.

"They can't do do that!" Joat said desperately. that!" Joat said desperately.

The Sendee next to her looked up when she spoke.

"How can they do that?" she asked.

The Sendee shrugged. "Sometimes they get a private bid that more than meets the minimum price. In this case it wouldn't take much. The Wyal Wyal is a crummy little s.h.i.+p." is a crummy little s.h.i.+p."

Joat raised an eyebrow and glared.

Instead of defending the honor or her s.h.i.+p she spoke: "What if you had questions about something like this? Where would you go to ask them?"

"Why, at the same office where you were a.s.signed your seat. Through that door, down the hall, first door on the right," the Sondee said helpfully, then pointedly turned back to the auction.

Joat found the office empty, which infuriated her. She swore and muttered, pacing back and forth before the tall counter more and more rapidly.

At last frustrated beyond bearing she shouted, "h.e.l.lo? Is anyone anyone working here?" working here?"

No one answered.

She marched out into the hall, determined to open the first door she detected a being behind and demand service.

At the end of the corridor she turned left, at the end of that one, she found the president's office and went briskly in.

"I'd like to speak to someone in authority," she said to the surprised secretary.

"Do you have an appointment?" he asked politely.

"No, but I do have questions."

"Perhaps I can help you."

"I said said someone in authority. That wouldn't be you." She marched over to the door of the inner sanctum and before the secretary could disengage himself from his desk, she was through it. someone in authority. That wouldn't be you." She marched over to the door of the inner sanctum and before the secretary could disengage himself from his desk, she was through it.

A well-dressed human in his mid-sixties sat behind the wide, wooden desk, a pleasant smile frozen on his face by her entrance. The younger man seated before him turned to see who had entered so precipitously.

It was Bros.

"You!" she said, her voice a near shriek.

He rose smiling and extended his arms as though to embrace her.

She backed up a pace and stood glaring at him, breathing hard, wanting to hit him and knowing that if she landed a blow it was because he let her.

No thank you, she thought, she thought, I I think I've been humiliated enough lately. think I've been humiliated enough lately. She turned and walked away thinking over and over, She turned and walked away thinking over and over, I'm going to kill him, I'm going to I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill kill him . . . him . . .

"Excuse me," Bros said over his shoulder and followed her.

She was moving pretty fast when he caught her by the arm and pulled her through the first door they came to. It was an empty office. He shut the door behind him and leaned against it.

She paced back and forth, too furious to speak, glaring at him.

"I don't blame you for being angry," he said at last.

"But there was nothing I could do until now. I didn't even know that this hadn't been acted on. I told told them about it in my report, I insisted that we had an obligation to see that your debt was canceled, reduced or paid. But I didn't know it hadn't been done." He held out a datahedron. them about it in my report, I insisted that we had an obligation to see that your debt was canceled, reduced or paid. But I didn't know it hadn't been done." He held out a datahedron.

"This is yours, Wyal's Wyal's papers." papers."

She took it carefully and swallowed hard.

"And where were you that you couldn't answer any of my messages? That you never attempted to get in contact with any of us?" She stood with her arms folded, looking him square in the face and asking with her eyes. And how could you leave me believing that stuff about caring about me? How dare you make me believe in you like that? And how could you leave me believing that stuff about caring about me? How dare you make me believe in you like that?

"You have to understand, Joat, I was interrogated by the enemy. It's customary to hold an agent incommunicado for at least two months afterwards. There are very solid reasons for it. If the Kolnari were a more sophisticated people, I wouldn't be free now." He frowned at her unchanging stare. "Look, I came as soon as I knew, okay?"

She nodded reluctantly.