Dangerous Women Part 4

A pair of headlights flashed across them and he saw her eyes, bright and brilliant.

"So no one ever knew the real story," she said. "I've never told anyone."

She smiled, pus.h.i.+ng herself against him.

"But now I'm telling you," she said. "Now I have someone to tell."

"Mr. Ferguson, you told us, and your cell phone records confirm, that you began calling your wife at 5:50 p.m. on the day of your daughter's disappearance. Finally, you reached her at 6:45. Is that right?"

"I don't know," he said, this the eighth, ninth, tenth time they'd called him in. "You would know better than me."

"Your wife said she was at the coffee place at around five. But we tracked down a record of your wife's transaction. It was at 3:45."

"I don't know," he said, rubbing at the back of his neck, the p.r.i.c.kling there. He realized he had no idea what they might tell him. No idea what might be coming.

"So what do you think your wife was doing for three hours?"

"Looking for this woman. Trying to find her."

"She did make some other calls during that time. Not to the police, of course. Or even you. She made a call to a man named Leonard Drake. Another one named Jason Patrini."

One sounded like an old boyfriend-Lenny someone-the other he didn't even know. He felt something hollow out inside him. He didn't know who they were even talking about anymore, but it had nothing to do with him.

The female detective walked in, giving her partner a look.

"Since she was making all these calls, we could track her movements. She went to the Harbor View Mall."

"Would you like to see her on the security camera footage there?" the female detective asked. "We have it now. Did you know she bought a tank top."

He felt nothing.

"She also went to the quickie mart. The cas.h.i.+er just IDed her. She used the bathroom. He said she was in there a long time and when she came out, she had changed clothing.

"Would you like to see the footage there? She looks like a million bucks."

She slid a grainy photo across the desk. A young woman in a tank top and hoodie tugged low over her brow. She was smiling.

"That's not Lorie," he said softly. She looked too young, looked like she looked when he met her, a little elfin beauty with a flat stomach and pigtails and a pierced navel. A hoop he used to tug. He'd forgotten about that. She must have let it seal over.

"I'm sure this is tough to hear, Mr. Ferguson," the male detective said. "I'm sorry."

He looked up. The detective did look very sorry.

"What did you say to them?" he asked.

Lorie was sitting in the car with him, a half block from the police station.

"I don't know if you should say anything to them anymore," he said. "I think maybe we should call a lawyer."

Lorie was looking straight ahead, at the strobing lights from the intersection. Slowly, she lifted her hand to the edges of her hair, combing them thoughtfully.

"I explained," she said, her face dark except for a swoop of blue from the car dealers.h.i.+p sign, like a tadpole up her cheek. "I told them the truth."

"What truth?" he asked. The car felt so cold. There was a smell coming from her, of someone who hasn't eaten. A raw smell of coffee and nail polish remover.

"They don't believe anything I say anymore," she said. "I explained how I'd been to the coffee place twice that day. Once to get a juice for Shelby and then later for coffee for me. They said they'd look into it, but I could see how it was on their faces. I told them so. I know what they think of me."

She turned and looked at him, the car moving fast, sending red lights streaking up her face. It reminded him of a picture he once saw in a National Geographic of an Amazon woman, her face painted crimson, a wooden peg through her lip.

"Now I know what everyone thinks of me," she said, and turned away again.

It was late that night, his eyes wide open, that he asked her. She was sound asleep, but he said it.

"Who's Leonard Drake? Who's Jason whatever?"

She stirred, s.h.i.+fted to face him, her face flat on the sheet.

"Who's Tom Ferguson? Who is he?

"Is that what you do?" he asked, his voice rising. "Go around calling men."

It was easier to ask her this than to ask her other things. To ask her if she had shaken Shelby, if she had lied about everything. Other things.

"Yes," she said. "I call men all day long, I go to their apartments. I leave my daughter in the car, especially if it's very hot. I sneak up their apartment stairs."

She had her hand on her chest, was moving it there, watching him.

"You should feel how much I want them by the time they open their doors."

Stop, he said, without saying it.

"I have my hands on their belts before they close the door behind me. I crawl onto their laps on their dirty bachelor's sofas and do everything."

He started shaking his head, but she wouldn't stop.

"You have a baby, your body changes. You need something else. So I let them do anything. I've done everything."

Her hand was moving, touching herself. She wouldn't stop.

"That's what I do while you're at work. I wasn't calling people on Craigslist, trying to replace your lawn mower. I wasn't doing something for you, always for you."

He'd forgotten about the lawn mower, forgotten that's what she'd said she'd been doing that day. Trying to get a secondhand one after he'd gotten blood blisters on both hands using it the last time. That's what she'd said she was doing.

"No," she was saying, "I was calling men, making dates for s.e.x. That's what I do since I've had a baby and been at home. I don't know how to do anything else. It's amazing I haven't been caught before. If only I hadn't been caught."

He covered his face with his hand. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"How could you?" she said, a strangle in her throat. She was tugging all the sheet into her hands, rolling it, pulling off him, wringing it. "How could you?"

He dreamt of Shelby that night.

He dreamt he was wandering through the blue-dark of the house and when he got to Shelby's room, there was no room at all and suddenly he was outside.

The yard was frost-tipped and lonely looking and he felt a sudden sadness. He felt suddenly like he had fallen into the loneliest place in the world, and the old toolshed in the middle seemed somehow the very center of that loneliness.

When they'd bought the house, they'd nearly torn it down-everyone said they should-but they decided they liked it; the "baby barn," they'd called it, with its sloping roof and faded red paint.

But it was too small for anything but a few rakes and that push lawn mower with the sagging left wheel.

It was the only old thing about their house, the only thing left from before he was there.

By day, it was a thing he never thought about at all anymore, didn't notice it other than the smell sometimes coming off it after rain.

But in the dream it seemed a living thing, neglected and pitiful.

It came to him suddenly that the lawn mower in the shed might still be fixed, and if it were, then everything would be okay and no one would need to look for lawn mowers and the thick tug of gra.s.s under his feet would not feel so heavy and all this loneliness would end.

He put his hand on the shed's cool, crooked handle and tugged it open.

Instead of the lawn mower, he saw a small black sack on the floor of the shed.

He thought to himself in the way you do in dreams: I must have left the cuttings in here. They must be covered with mold and that must be the smell so strong it- Grabbing for the sack, it slipped open, and the bag itself began to come apart in his hands.

There was the sound, the feeling of something heavy dropping to the floor of the shed.

It was too dark to see what was slipping over his feet, tickling his ankles.

Too dark to be sure, but it felt like the sweet floss of his daughter's hair.

He woke already sitting up. A voice was hissing in his head: Will you look in the shed? Will you?

And that was when he remembered there was no shed in the backyard anymore. They'd torn it down when Lorie was pregnant because she said the smell of rot was giving her headaches, making her sick.

The next day the front page of the paper had a series of articles marking the two-month anniversary of Shelby's disappearance.

They had the picture of Lorie under the headline: What Does She Know? There was a picture of him, head down, walking from the police station yesterday. The caption read: "More unanswered questions."

He couldn't read any of it, and when his mother called he didn't pick up.

All day at work, he couldn't concentrate. He felt everyone looking at him.

When his boss came to his desk, he could feel the careful way he was being talked to.

"Tom, if you want to leave early," he said, "that's fine."

Several times he caught the administrative a.s.sistant staring at his screen saver, the snapshot of Lorie with ten-month-old Shelby in her Halloween costume, a black spider with soft spider legs.

Finally he did leave, at three o'clock.

Lorie wasn't in the house and he was standing at the kitchen sink, drinking a gla.s.s of water, when he saw her through the window.

Though it was barely seventy degrees, she was lying on one of the summer loungers.

Headphones on, she was in a bright orange bikini with gold hoops in the straps and on either hip.

She had pushed the purple playhouse against the back fence, where it tilted under the elm tree.

He had never seen the bikini before, but he recognized the sungla.s.ses, large ones with white frames she had bought on a trip Mexico she had taken with an old girlfriend right before she got pregnant.

Gleaming in the center of her slicked torso was a gold belly ring.

She was smiling, singing along to whatever music was playing in her head.

That night he couldn't bring himself to go to bed. He watched TV for hours without watching any of it. He drank four beers in a row, which he had not done since he was twenty years old.

Finally, the beer pulled on him, and the Benadryl he took after, and he found himself sinking at last onto their mattress.

At some point in the middle of the night, there was a stirring next to him, her body s.h.i.+fting hard. It felt like something was happening.

"Kirsten," she mumbled.

"What?" he asked. "What?"

Suddenly she half sat up, her elbows beneath her, looking straight ahead.

"Her daughter's name was Kirsten," she said, her voice soft and tentative. "I just remembered. Once, when we were talking, she said her daughter's name was Kirsten. Because she liked how it sounded with Krusie."

He felt something loosen inside him, then tighten again. What was this?

"Her last name was Krusie with a K," she said, her face growing more animated, her voice more urgent. "I don't know how it was spelled, but it was with a K. I can't believe I just remembered. It was a long time ago. She said she liked the two Ks. Because she was two Ks. Katie Krusie. That's her name."

He looked at her and didn't say anything.

"Katie Krusie," she said. "The woman at the coffee place. That's her name."

He couldn't seem to speak or even move.

"Are you going to call?" she said. "The police?"

He found he couldn't move. He was afraid somehow. So afraid he couldn't breathe.

She looked at him, paused, and then reached across him, grabbing for the phone herself.

As she talked to the police, told them, her voice now clear and firm, what she'd remembered, as she told them she would come to the station, would leave in five minutes, he watched her, his hand over his own heart, feeling it beating so hard it hurt.

"We believe we have located the Krusie woman," the female detective said. "We have officers heading there now."

He looked at both of them. He could feel Lorie beside him, breathing hard. It had been less than a day since Lorie first called.