First Channel Part 22

"I forgive you," said Jord. "I've a lot to learn, too especially how not to react to a Gen's fear. Like Rimon. He didn't react to your fear today."

Rimon chuckled despite the way it made his chest hurt. "To tell the truth, I never felt it. All I knew was Kadi. Now, let's put that behind us. Jon, you're starved. Go eat."

Mrs. Veritt made a place for Jon at the table and supplied him with soup and bread. The baby began to cry. Jon jumped up, wide-eyed. "He's alive!" , "Of course," Willa said, plucking the baby out of the cradle as if Jon would contaminate it. "We knew what to do."

"A lot you had to do with it!" Jon snapped. "You're just too dumb to be scared!"

"Jon!" said Abel. "That's enough! Willa saved your life today."

"Huh?"

"She stopped me," said Jord. "Your life-my soul. We owe a great deal to Willa."

Shamefaced, Jon sat back down at the table as the baby began to scream in earnest.

"Oh, please, give him to me," said Kadi.

With Mrs. Veritt's help, Kadi was soon nursing her child, looking down at him in delight. "We have to give him a name."

"It should be an appropriate name, Kadi," suggested Abel. "We witnessed a miracle here today, when Rimon gave of his own life-force to his wife and his son. G.o.d showed Rimon the way;the child should have a name that indicates G.o.d's inspiration."

Rimon thought back to the moment when he'd lost Kadi to death. The flas.h.i.+ng picture in his mind of a green forest his First Need. "The inspiration-came from my first kill," said Rimon. "Abel, you remember? I told you about my cousin. He was Sime-and I killed him when I drew selyn from him, forced his system to work backwards. Today, I remembered that-and I made my own system work backwards-and Kadi's, to accept selyn."

"That must be what caused that incredible pain," said Veritt. "But how did you do it?"

"I don't know. But I know our son's name-for the person whose death made me aware of what I could do today. Because he died-my wife and my son live."

"Zeth," said Kadi. "He didn't die in vain, Rimon. I've always told you that."

"Zeth Farris," said Abel. "A truly appropriate name. May G.o.d bless the child who bears it, and guide all of us privileged to see this miracle to do His will." He bowed his head. "G.o.d, You have given us a miracle this day. We pray for Your guidance to speed the day when we shall all be as this young couple you have sent to be an inspiration to us. May it be Thy will to bring that day soon, Lord-oh, please, let it be soon!"

PART III.

Chapter Eighteen.

INFORMED CONSENT.

One warm, late-summer day, Rimon and Del rode triumphantly home from Ardo Pa.s.s, where the largest horse auction of the year was held. They had sold every horse, at prices among the highest at the auction. Their wagon was loaded with the rope Del had wanted, kegs of nails-some on consignment for Fort Freedom-a saddle for Owen, and three huge bales of wire for Del's fences. The wire was an incredible extravagance, but his stock had to be protected.

After five days, Rimon was eager to be home. Del was just as eager to see his family-Carlana and the children were staying with Kadi at the homestead, and as they rounded the bend in the trail, Rimon could zlin the whole group on top of the hill above their home. Carlana must have pointed them out, for as they came in sight Owen and Jana were jumping up and down and waving, and came running pell-mell down the hill to leap into Del's arms as soon as he jumped off the wagon.

"We're having a picnic!" Jana announced.

"Come on up the hill!" Owen added excitedly.

Kadi, Carlana, Willa, and Jon were waiting atop the hill -Kadi holding seven-week-old Zeth. Rimon kissed her, and took the baby, who gurgled up at him happily.

Del was pa.s.sing out presents to his family, Carlana exclaiming, "Del, you'll spoil the children-oh! but that's so expensive!" as he presented her with a sheer scarf in soft blue and yellow.

"You deserve the best, Ana," he told her. "And if I can keep on this way, you're going to have it!"

Rimon said, "Already some people knew Del's name from last winter. By next year's auction, everyone will be breeding on Erick stock!"

What Rimon had for Kadi was a small bag of coins. He had agreed to help Del for a percentage instead of a fee and his confidence in his friend had paid off.

Kadi counted the money. "Oh, Rimon! Now we can pay our taxes, and still-"

"Buy a stove!" he said. "We're going into town tomorrow to order one, and gla.s.s for the windows! No more cold, dark rooms for you, Kadi."

But he had also bought a few trinkets-a rattle for Zeth, a set of tea-gla.s.ses for Kadi, a plaid ribbon for Willa, and for Jon something from out-Territory: a compa.s.s. "With that, you should find your way in the hills as easily as a Sime!"

"How does it work?" asked Jon.

"I'll show you," said Carlana.

"How are things at Fort Freedom?" asked Del.

"About the same-according to Abel," said Kadi.

"Yes, the same," Carlana said bitterly. "Dan Whelan and the others-those ingrates are destroying him, Del, after everything he's done for them-"

Rimon had never seen Carlana angry before-but her righteous indignation brought her laterals forth in uncontrollable response. Jon, with whom she was still bent over the compa.s.s, jerked back with a start of fear. Carlana turned on him but then held back, and his fear died away. "Forgive me, Jon," she murmured.

"It's Jon who should apologize," said Kadi.

Covering his fear with anger, Jon snapped, "She startled me!"

But the stab of fear had been clear to the three Simes particularly Rimon, who was now approaching need.

Later, after Del and Carlana had gone with their children, Rimon sat before the fire holding Zeth on his lap. "He's grown just in the time I've been away."

"He changes every day," Kadi agreed, watching Zeth grasp his father's finger and pull it to his mouth. "He's getting stronger all the time."

"Tough little frontier kid-he'll do better than either of us. Kadi, was Jon that jumpy the whole time?"

"No, of course not. But it looks as if I'll have to do some more work with him."

"He seemed so much better since Zeth was born."

"Rimon, he calmed right down today. There's no way to control the startle reflex-it happens to me sometimes, too. Don't scold him. You know how hard he's trying."

But trying is not enough. "He's got to learn not to be scared every time something new happens-or we'll have to send him off across the border. Maybe we ought to..."

"He wants so badly to stay," Kadi said. "Give him time."

Rimon felt that Kadi wanted to get his mind off any problems while he was in need. But it was so comfortable to be back in her presence again that he didn't care what she did!

She stayed close to him for the next two days. Willa relinquished without protest the place she had become accustomed to. Nonetheless, Rimon became gradually more nervous than he had been in months. Early on the third day, before anyone else woke, he went out to work off tension by chopping wood. It helped, as always. And in the evening, he knew, they'd have their privacy, for the first thing Rimon had done after Zeth was born was to build another room onto their little house, so they now had their own bedroom.

Over morning tea, he looked into Kadi's eyes and said, "I'm glad we'll have only Gens and a child out here. It's convenient not to have to insulate for privacy, as you do in a Sime household."

"What happens when our kids change over?" she teased.

"By then," Rimon said brightly, "we'll have a bigger house!"

Willa and Jon were stirring now. Jon went outside-to milk the goat, Rimon a.s.sumed-and Willa began to prepare breakfast. Zeth started to cry. Kadi laid him on Willa's bed to change him. Rimon sat at the table, staring into his half-empty cup. A sudden shock brought him to his feet. "Yeee! Jon! What the b.l.o.o.d.yshen do you think you're doing?"

Kadi, carrying Zeth, followed Rimon to the door. Jon turned to stare at them in astonishment, a small trickle of blood running down his chin.

He had set a small mirror on a stump, and was attempting to shave. Obviously, he had just cut himself. "I'm shaving."

"You have no more beard than Willa does!" said Rimon.

His dignity injured, Jon said, "I do so! And besides, how am I going to learn if I don't practice before it gets heavy?"

"Well, practice tomorrow! Don't do things like that when I'm at my most sensitive!"

Jon was immediately contrite. "I'm sorry, Rimon. Sure, I'll wait until tomorrow."

As they went back inside, Rimon said, "I guess that proves he's not afraid of me, even when I'm in need." He managed a wry chuckle. "What was I saying about the convenience of living in a house full of Gens?"

Early that evening, Kadi fed Zeth and left him in Willa's care. Then she and Rimon retired to their room. After all the months of denial, both of them were slightly shy-and yet he sensed Kadi's yearning to give him transfer. Rimon a.s.sured her she wasn't fertile now, so they could do as they pleased.

They undressed and got into bed. Rimon drew Kadi close, eyes closed, tension in his body. "After all those months-I thought I'd never survive it-and now you're here again-"

"You know I am," she said. "Every month from now on."

"Until I get you pregnant again," he said bitterly.

"We'll worry about that when the time comes." She pushed back his unruly black hair, kissed his forehead. "Relax, Rimon. You don't have to hold back anymore. Everything's perfect."

She let her own delighted antic.i.p.ation flow to him. They lay thus as Rimon's tensions slowly drained away. Then he caressed her arms, his laterals teasing her with antic.i.p.ation before they finally settled into place, and he drew her into lip contact.

A heavenly relief filled Rimon as selyn flowed from Kadi's nerves, tingling through every portion of his being, Kadi's satisfaction growing as Rimon's draw increased, peaked, and slowed. But Kadi wasn't ready-she clung to him, wanting more. He could feel her need to give more, but he could take no more, felt himself sinking into hypoconsciousness, leaving her hovering on the brink of completion.

"What happened?" she asked. "Oh, Rimon, have you grown so used to unsatisfactory transfers that you're holding back with me?"

"No," he whispered. "Kadi, I-That was-Oh, Kadi, that was the best ever, for me. But-you-" He paused to zlin her, with an effort. Then he said, "You're still almost high-field-well, not relative to me, now, but you have more selyn. Kadi, I'm sorry." She was forcing back tears, the first since Zeth was born. "You're feeling a little like I felt after Willa or Jon. Let me try to help-"

He took her into transfer position again. As he sought to ease her discomfort, he found the knack. Her grief faded. "Better?"

She looked up as he retracted his tentacles. "You did that?"

He nodded. "I just-I don't know what I did, but I found a way to take that extra selyn. Now you feel better, and so do I."

"But you controlled me! Rimon-oh, Rimon, I'm sorry for all those times I controlled you. I didn't know how it felt!"

But he was in the full grip of post syndrome while she remained essentially unmoved. Curbing impatience, he leaned back to talk to her. "Don't worry about it. We were just off phase from one another. Today puts us back in phase, and next month it will be right for both of us again."

"Yes," she murmured. "We have to get used to each other again."

"That's right." He kissed her gently, and as he began to caress her tenderly, in all the ways experience had taught him, she slowly began to respond. But there was no trace of the urgency they had always known after a transfer before. Rather there was the gentler sensation that usually characterized their lovemaking a few days after transfer. Had that urgency been abnormal-was this the way it ought to be?

Rimon couldn't spend much time pondering the fact that he hadn't satisfied Kadi in transfer. Everyone's immediate concern now was Willa. Only the girl herself was unconcerned, talking of her upcoming transfer with Jord with happy antic.i.p.ation. Jord, on the other hand, was as nervous and edgy as Rimon had ever seen him.

When the day came, Rimon, Kadi, and Willa a.s.sembled at the Veritt home. Jon went to visit his parents, who were also caring for Zeth today, but Rimon knew that every mind in Fort Freedom was on that one neat house in the center of the community.

They took every precaution. Abel and Margid Veritt had adjusted their own schedules the past three months so they were pre-turnover when Jord was in need. Rimon was less than a week into his cycle, at his steadiest.

As Rimon took up his position behind Jord, Kadi at his side, he couldn't help remembering Del and Billy. But Billy was afraid, he reminded himself. Willa isn't.

The plan was simple enough: both Rimon and Abel would be zlinning the transfer. Should Willa feel the slightest pain, Rimon was to grab Jord and Abel Willa, and pull them apart. Rimon and Kadi would then do whatever they could for Jord, who had insisted Willa's safety must come first.

As the moment arrived, Jord's nager was troubled, haunted, Rimon knew, by echoes of a series of unsuccessful attempts at what he was trying again today. With an extreme effort, Jord went into healing mode, but need threatened to kick him over into killmode at any moment.

Rimon entered healing mode too, supporting Jord. There was a now-or-never desperation in Jord's field as he held out his hands to Willa. She grasped his arms and pressed her lips to his almost before his laterals had seated themselves against her flesh.

The flow began at once, pleasantly, but too slowly-the same frustration Rimon had endured for months on end during Kadi's pregnancy. But it is endurable! he willed to Jord.

Grimly, Jord held steady, slowly meeting physiological necessity while he fought the urge to increase his draw speed. Willa was steady, just as she had been every time for Rimon.

Nonetheless, frustration was weakening Jord's control, and long before he reached physical satisfaction, without warning, something flipped inside-out. The draw leaped instantly to the speed of the kill.

Even as Rimon was reaching for Jord in the agonized fear that he was already too late, he felt Willa's response:, delighted surprise and intense pleasure.

The girl reacted as Kadi did, cooperating, pouring forth her life-force as fast as Jord could take it, pure joy springing through her as she gave and gave.

When it ended, Rimon was plunged with Jord into hypo-consciousness. Willa was staring up at Jord, looking utterly beautiful. His tentacles had withdrawn, and his fingers were lax on her arms. When Rimon moved from behind him, he saw that Jord's eyes were closed, as if he feared what he would see. He glowed with selyn.

"Jord," said Willa in awe. "You do that better than Rimon!"

"G.o.d be praised!" he whispered. Then, as the fact that she was truly alive and well sank in, he caught her into his arms, his tears falling into her hair.

Abel Veritt, too, was crying openly, as was Mrs. Veritt. They both embraced their son as Abel said, "At last! Oh, thank G.o.d, thank G.o.d!" Then even he was speechless.

Rimon was p.r.i.c.kling with the reaction after the fact. He put an arm around Kadi. "We did it!" he said numbly. "We actually taught someone else!"

Abel Veritt turned to Rimon. "My faith has been rewarded, despite my errors. Jord," he turned back to his son, "G.o.d has blessed you."

"Father," said Jord, "I didn't do it! I lost control, and it was just like every other time-except for Willa."