First Channel Part 23

"It was the way I started," Rimon said. "I had no control at first. It was all in Kadi's hands. It still is, except that now I know I can control, if necessary."

"Willa," Abel said reverently.

"I said I would teach Jord." Her nager was as innocent as ever. "I kept my promise."

"You certainly did!" agreed Abel. "Jord, Rimon, we must talk about your experiences later, decide how to proceed from here-but now we must let everyone know that their prayers have been answered!"

When they were on the green, Abel rang the bell with sweeping strokes that gave it an oddly festive sound. People poured from their homes. When they saw Jord and Willa together, both alive, tears and laughter mingled, and families embraced each other-particularly parents hugging their Sime children, reaffirming the knowledge that they were not cursed.

Then everyone went to the chapel to give thanks. Abel ended with a prayer for guidance in teaching everyone. Then he went to the lectern and stood looking out over the congregation.

"I have watched the hard, painful effort both Rimon Farris and my son have put into learning not to kill. I have witnessed the devastation wrought by their failures-failures with nameless Gens from the Pens, not close friends or family. Yes, I know, you don't wish to hear this-but for that very reason I must say it, and you must listen. There will be no unsupervised experiments. At the present time, only one person is qualified to supervise, and that is Rimon Farris. Jord?"

"I agree absolutely, Father. Today's success was much more Willa's doing than mine. I have a great deal to learn before I can teach others."

"Therefore," continued Abel, "no one will attempt transfer unless Rimon judges that both parties are ready. Especially the Gen. And that," he paused, looking over to where the Forester family sat, "means you, Jon Forester. When Rimon says and with whom Rimon says. You understand?"

"Yes, Mr. Veritt," Jon said clearly.

To himself, Rimon thought, when Jon wants it as badly as Willa did, not before. No wonder Jon felt like a fat-rabbit surrounded by hungry foxes. No one in Fort Freedom would think of taking Jon against his will, or against Abel's proscription-but a Sime in need didn't think at all.

Abel was speaking to the whole congregation again. "In the months ahead, each time a child establishes as a Gen, he and his family must decide whether he will stay here or cross the border to safety. For we must all remember that there is danger here for such children-and we are that danger.

"Until each and every one of us learns not to kill, we must avoid temptation. You know the way; we have practiced it at Farewells for years. A Gen in our midst is to be surrounded by those who are high-field. Anyone approaching need must keep away. Is that agreed?"

"Agreed." It was a reluctant murmur.

Surveying the congregation nagerically, Abel continued. "That had to be said, and I zlin that you all understand. But this is a day of celebration, when we all renew our vows to seek the road away from the kill. G.o.d has set my son's feet on that path, and I vow again to follow. Let us rejoice in this day's miracle, and in the hope it brings for all the days ahead!"

As they left the chapel, Rimon and Kadi found Del and Carlana at the back.

"Another miracle!" said Carlana, gazing at Willa and Jord.

"It's a fact we must adjust to," said Rimon to the Sime woman. "Killing can be a matter of choice."

Abel joined them, saying, "Everyone wants to congratulate lord and Willa. It's their day. Why don't you all come over to our house? Rimon, we must make some plans."

As they walked, Del said, "I wouldn't let Carlana come here today when I heard what you planned to do with Willa. But when we heard the bell-"

"You came, the way you did that time to see if I'd killed Kadi. You are a true friend, Del."

"Yes," said Abel. "You'll learn quickly-you're sensitive-"

"No," said Del, "that's just it-I'm not sensitive. Rimon always could zlin further than I could. When I'm observing, I don't know what Rimon and Jord are talking about half the time, fields within fields. Maybe it takes that kind of supersensitivity to learn not to kill."

They settled around the Veritts' table, Mrs. Veritt soon producing tea and little biscuits. While Kadi ate, Abel toyed with his tea and shook his head. "No, G.o.d would not condemn some Simes to the kill and not others, so it can't be mere sensitivity. But perhaps sensitivity allowed Rimon and Jord to learn without a teacher."

Carlana gave a plate of biscuits to Owen and Jana and shooed them off to play. Abel was still thinking. "We must put our heads together, go over every piece of information we have-everything Rimon has ever done, or Kadi, or Willa. And the failures-yes, we must never make the same mistakes again."

"Abel," said Kadi, "it seems clear to me that we must teach Gens not to fear. That's Willa's secret, and mine."

"But how do we teach that?" asked Abel. "Why did Willa learn so easily, while Jon is still uncertain?"

"Jon knows too much," said Rimon. "Willa had been giving me transfer for months before she found out Simes kill Gens. Jon-in the past year, that boy has had to go through drastic adjustments in his thinking, and he doesn't have that tremendously increased learning capacity and adaptability of the first-year Sime."

Kadi made a rude noise, her whole nager s.h.i.+ning with derision. When Rimon looked at her, suitably shocked, he found her blue eyes laughing at him. "The fact is that I adjusted, and Willa adjusted-but Willa had no previous beliefs to conflict with what we taught her, while my adjustments were all positive."

"I don't understand," said Abel.

"I grew up knowing Gens were cowardly animals. With Rimon's help, I learned I'm the same person I was before I established. But Jon grew up knowing Gens were the real people, better than Simes. And then just when he turns into a Gen, you go and change the rules on him. And Willa shows him Pen-grown Gens are people, too, and he's no better than she is. Is it any wonder the poor boy is confused and scared?"

Abel pondered that a moment. "You're right, of course. I shall counsel with Jon and his parents. We must all help him to adjust before-"

"Before someone convinces him he's being selfish," said Rimon. "Watch out for Jon's pride, Abel. He feels he should be able to do anything Willa can! I'm glad you made the point before the whole town that there are to be no private experiments."

"You felt how everyone gravitated toward Jon. I'll admit, it crossed my mind, too-but I've seen him break under pressure. No, next month Willa can teach someone else, and-"

"No, Abel," said Rimon, "you mustn't take her away from Jord."

"But-how are others to learn? Jord already knows the healing mode. Next month he-"

"He would lose control and kill again. Give Jord a chance to build up his health and his confidence."

"His health?"

"He hasn't had a satisfactory kill since Willa spoke her first word. No one in Fort Freedom has."

Abel stared at his steepled fingers. "It's longer than that," he said. "I don't think Jord has ever had a satisfactory kill. I've never seen Jord so-at peace with himself as he is now. You're right. We can't take that from him yet."

"What are you going to do about them?" Del gestured. "Out there? Everybody in town will think up some reason he should be the one to have Willa next month."

"I can give you a good reason to hold them off for two or three months," said Rimon. "It took me that long before I even learned healing mode."

"Jord knows that already. No one else can,perceive it, let alone imitate it."

"Have you tried every Sime at Fort Freedom?"

"No-but now everyone, men and women, must attempt it. We must do something to show progress, and healing mode is important. Rimon, did you not take transfer from Willa in healing mode, every time?"

"That's right," he said.

"But Jord couldn't hold it today-he broke at the same point he has broken each time. At that point, the Gen feels pain and then fear-and is killed."

Del said, "Terror seems to be the natural state of the Gen. From a Sime point of view, that is," he added, glancing at Kadi. "I haven't been able to keep a Gen from becoming scared, no matter how drugged they are, no matter how careful I am. Even-Billy, who knew better, panicked -and I'm sure it's the sensation of selyn movement that causes the panic and-the kill."

Carlana looked from Kadi to Rimon. "Abel, they love each other. That's important-Willa likes Jord, and she likes to make Simes feel good, as she puts it."

"Good will," Abel said, "or even love, isn't enough. Vee couldn't do it. Rimon could-he slowed his draw. And, come to think of it, I've zlinned him doing it, and I don't know how he does it."

"The Gen has to know enough not to be afraid," said Kadi. "But the Sime has to care enough to force himself to go as slowly as necessary. It takes two to make a transfer."

Abel frowned, and then asked, "Can we raise our children not to fear?" He looked from Rimon to Del and Carlana. "The Gen is the primary key-I'm convinced of it. Imagine a community in which Simes did not kill because Gens didn't expect to be killed! I wish Jon had been here today to see Willa's face. I wish all the children had seen it. Imagine growing up, seeing transfers like that all the time. Who would be frightened then? Who would resist? Rimon-surely that is the way G.o.d planned Simes and Gens to live together!"

"In the days of the Ancients," Kadi murmured.

"What?" asked Abel.

"The way so many fairy tales start, you know, the kind of stories people tell their-oh."

Rimon stepped into the breach. "I think the story Kadi means is the one that starts, 'In the last days of the Ancients, when Simes and Gens lived together-' It pretty well describes the kind of society you're talking about."

Kadi told them the story, with Del filling in some details of another version. Abel smiled tolerantly. "Obviously a Sime legend-blaming the Gens for the way the world is. Yet-isn't saying that the Gens wanted to keep all the selyn for themselves a way of saying they-resisted? There is always truth within a parable, if only we can see it. Who are the Ancients supposed to be?"

Rimon, Kadi, and Del stared at him in astonishment. "Why-the original people. Humans, before they mutated into Sime and Gen-the builders of the ruined cities-the eyeways-"

"But Gens are the original human race," said Abel "Simes are the mutation."

"I don!t think so," said Kadi. "If the Ancients had all been Gens, what would have been the point of their selyn production? With whom would a person have fulfilled his potential? No, I think both Simes and Gens are mutated, to fit with one another."

"Well, either way," said Abel, "we're clearly meant to live together. I wonder why it has taken all these centuries to figure that out?"

"Maybe some people have," said Rimon. 'There are other legends, stories. Kadi, do you remember old Brova's tall tales?"

"Yes. He claimed to have traveled all the way around the world, and he'd spend hours telling us about strange places."

"Instead of working," added Rimon. "I don't know if Dad fired him for that-or for telling us kids about the island of-what did he call it?"

"I don't remember," said Kadi. "We were only seven or eight years old, but I remember that story, about an island where Simes and Gens lived together without killing. He claimed the Gens would go right up to any Sime in need and offer themselves, and that they didn't die, and afterwards-"

Rimon squirmed, and interposed, "They were just stories!"

"But were they true?"

"I doubt it," said Rimon. "Brova was an old man-the oldest man I've ever met. He claimed to be fifty years past changeover, but n.o.body lives that long. He was probably thirty or so, and senile."

"Still," said Kadi, "he had to get the ideas somewhere."

"The idea is always around," said Rimon. "Brova just embroidered on it." He noticed a Gen field approaching outside. "Jon-"

The sun was setting. As Mrs. Veritt rose to light the lamps, Jon entered, bringing Zeth to Kadi. "He's hungry," he said.

She smiled up at him, saying, "I know," as she took the baby and prepared to nurse him.

"We'll have to be going home soon," said Rimon. "Jon, do you know where Willa is?"

"I think she went off with Jord somewhere. Rimon, may I stay at home tonight, and come out to you tomorrow? Both Mom and Dad are pre-turnover."

"But you are high-field, Jon. No, we won't take any chances like that."

"That's not fair!" Jon flared.

"What's not fair? Protecting your life?"

"A lot you care! It's blackmail, that's what!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Rimon saw Abel flinch from the Gen's field, and Abel wasn't in need. He moved to put himself between Abel and the boy. With the tension relieved, Veritt said, "Jon, just what is disturbing you?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Veritt," said Jon, but Rimon felt the boy's inner rebellion. "It's just that if I can't visit my parents-or anybody-just because I'm high-field, then I may as well go live out-Territory!" He turned to Rimon. "Since you've got Kadi back, you don't need me, so I'll never be low-field again unless I give transfer to someone else."

Rimon pondered that, disturbed by the truth of Jon's conclusion. But another idea occurred, a chance to test something that had been on his mind since Zeth's birth. "All right, Jon, come here."

He held out his hands, and almost by reflex Jon put his hands into transfer position. Rimon slipped into healing mode, made lip contact, and drew enough selyn from Jon to leave the boy low-field. It was over in an instant. "All right, Jon, you can go home now."

Jon stared at him suspiciously. "What did you do?"

"I lowered your field."

"You took transfer without even asking me?"

"No, I didn't take transfer. I did what you asked-made it safe for you to stay with your parents tonight. Now go on-but I expect you home by tomorrow sunset, no later, understand?"

"Yeah, uh, thanks, Rimon." Self-consciously, he exchanged polite words with the Veritts and Carlana and left, almost stumbling over his own feet in the manner of adolescents-and Gens.

Rimon noticed Del and Abel zlinning the boy. "He is low-field!" Del said. "I was afraid you were faking to give him confidence."

"What did you do?" demanded Kadi. "Rimon, you've thrown your whole cycle off!"

"No I haven't," said Rimon quickly, aware of a near panic in his wife. "And I don't have to balance my fields, either. Abel, Del, zlin me. Am I any higher-field?" He looked appealingly at Mrs. Veritt, but she wasn't zlinning. She was watching Zeth, and Rimon had the impression she had hardly heard a word since the baby came in.

Del was shaking his head, mystified, when Abel finally said, "No, you're not any higher-field. What did you do? Where did Jon's selyn go?"

"The same place all that selyn came from that I transferred to Kadi when Zeth was born. I've thought about that a lot. I was horribly sick afterward with those fluctuations in my fields, nerve burn-but I wasn't in need. That doesn't make sense, Abel! I transferred to Kadi-oh, at least twice what I get from a transfer with Jon or Willa-and yet I wasn't in need. I fell short again that month-but no more than the month before. So where did all that selyn come from?"

"I have never questioned that it was a miracle," said Abel. "G.o.d provided."

It was one of those moments when Abel's faith proved an immense barrier to understanding.

Finally Rimon said, "Well, maybe G.o.d did, but not the way you mean. Del-remember how I used to get that crazy wobble in my fields before-before a kill?"

Del nodded. "Most peculiar sensation-used to give me a sick headache to be near you."

"And it intensified my need to the point where I couldn't fight it off anymore-even with Kadi's help." To Abel, he added, "That was before she established." And to Del, he said, "Well, I had another attack of it after Zeth was born, and it got me to thinking and kind of feeling around inside myself."

Veritt was nodding. "Yes, Rimon's distress affected all of us. It's a high price you pay for your healing ability."

"Maybe not, if I can learn to control this selyn storage system. That's what was fluctuating-I was going almost into healing mode then coming right out of it again, and each time some selyn would leak into this storage system like a reservoir for extra selyn. I've always had a short cycle-a month's selyn would never last a month, and n.o.body knew why. My dad was the same way."

"And Jord," murmured Abel.