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A shower and scrub with lots of lemon bath gel refreshed her, but Bella stayed under the water stream for half an hour, till the water got cold. Lost in the patter of water, she allowed her thoughts to flee and she found a tolerable medium between anger and peace.
That the man could so easily toy with her emotions troubled her. And then she knew it was because he meant so much to her. If she meant half as much to him, shouldn't he have known his actions would destroy her?
The sun had set by the time she exited the steamy paradise. Tugging on a silk robe, she padded into the kitchen to browse the fridge. A few nonperishable items remained, though none appealed to her. Not even the half tub of milk-chocolate frosting.
"I miss Heloise's cooking. Oh! What is it with that man? He's always so...macho. So controlling."
She'd thought she liked that about him. But how could she after what he'd done tonight? He'd ruined any chance of her getting the apprentices.h.i.+p.
She didn't know how to deal with his possessiveness. How did a girl date a wolf and make it work? "Mom never had any advice for that one," she told herself aloud.
Diana Reynolds, who had headed off to Tunisia a month ago to work with a charity organization, would have told her daughter to face the challenge head-on. Don't let it upset you. Look at the reason why it's in your life. To teach you something.
Teach her? But what?
To be less controlling? But in exchange for being controlled?
That didn't jibe.
To be more accepting of those unlike her? She'd always been open-minded. Prejudice was not a word in the Reynolds household.
To love? She loved. Many. But Bella had never loved deeply like this before.
Was romantic love supposed to ache as well as feel good?
Scratching her head, she surveyed the room. She didn't feel in the mood for a swim. The computer sat silently mocking her lack of attention.
"I should check my e-mail." It had been over a week, and though her current clients didn't require immediate attention, she never knew when a new client would contact her.
Booting up the Mac, she waited while the Entourage program downloaded 220 e-mails. That would take a while to sort through.
And she was still too frustrated to sit quietly and do work.
Instead, Bella went to the Internet and searched Google for werewolf.
Wikipedia called them lycanthropes, humans with the ability to shape-s.h.i.+ft into a wolf or a wolflike creature.
The loup-garou in eighteenth-century France was a feared and hunted creature, blamed for killing dozens of men, women and children.
Their weaknesses were silver and wolfsbane. And the idea of a werewolf bite transforming a mortal into a werewolf was purely a fictional creation.
Weren't werewolves themselves supposed to be fictional?
And yet, knowing they were real wasn't so awful. Just...
"p.i.s.sed," she muttered sharply. "So p.i.s.sed at him."
She clicked to another site and another. They all rehashed the lore and legend and featured artists' renditions of the creature. But none of the sites told her about the man she was dealing with. She searched Google for wolf.
According to the Internet they usually ran in packs of six to eight. Yet, she thought, Severo had never mentioned other werewolves. The site also said a wolf could be an alpha, but to do so, it must find an unoccupied territory and a female to mate with.
Bella clutched her throat.
She read more. The wolf's sense of smell was about one hundred times greater than a human's. She knew that. They also marked their territory. So it was an ingrained thing with Severo, she realized. Was he worried Tony was marking his territory?
That still didn't explain his reaction at the studio.
She read more. "A wolf may growl to indicate warning or dominance."
Severo growled a lot. And it always turned her on if they were making out. He was dominating her.
A s.h.i.+ver traced her shoulders and arms. A good s.h.i.+ver.
A rap on the patio door made Bella sit up, alert. It was getting late. Who could that be? A vampire? In her anger, she'd forgotten the danger, the reason Severo had coaxed her away from her home in the first place.
Would a murderous vampire knock first? she reasoned as she walked over to the door. Through the long white sheers she saw the shadow outside-a big male shadow who wore a leather jacket.
"Go away!" she called through the gla.s.s door.
"I'm sorry," Severo said, his voice calm and low. "Please, can we talk?"
"I'm not in the mood." She peeked through the curtain, found he stood with his back to the door, and then dropped the curtain and paced around the living room.
This seemed to be his MO. Stalk her when she hated him. Overwhelm her with his caveman aggression and awkward charm to win her over.
"It's not going to work tonight," she muttered, with a glance to her abandoned dancing shoes.
He could have no idea how much earning an apprentices.h.i.+p with Tony meant to her. Web design was fun, and it paid the bills, but it required one's b.u.t.t in the chair all day. Dancing? Well, Bella couldn't get enough of the motion, the freedom, the utter abandon.
"Bella, please."
"Don't say my name," she whispered. She clutched her arms across her chest in a less than rea.s.suring hug. "Just go away."
He couldn't hear her soft, trembling plea. But if he was so keen on picking up her scent, why couldn't he also hear through walls and windows? Shouldn't paranormal sorts be able to do all kinds of fabulous things with their senses?
And yet, his sense of propriety was off the scale.
"Wolves are protective of their mates. They mate for life," she said, repeating the information she'd read online. "And werewolves are creatures, not humans."
With a shudder, she paused before the patio door. His shadow was not there, but she could see a figure now standing before the pool's edge. "He's not going to leave."
Resigned to make the best of it, at least to try convincing him to leave, Bella pulled the door open and slipped outside. He remained before the pool, looking down.
At an amazing sight.
Bella joined Severo at his side. Dozens of white water lilies floated on the surface of the water. The streetlight across the alley shone over the water and glinted in the droplets dewed on the pale petals. Gorgeous. And fantastical.
Bella swallowed and looked up at Severo.
"Roses are so common," he offered. "I figure you've received dozens from previous suitors. These caught my eye. They're a pitiful apology, but they're a start."
Her anger dissipated. The tenderness in his voice struck her. He knew he'd done wrong. She wished it hadn't been such a devastating wrong.
"The pool man is going to have a fit," she said, and bent to sit and dangle her legs in the pool. Lifting her toe, she caught a bloom on top of her foot and balanced it there. The bright yellow center winked at her as it bobbled. "This doesn't begin to make up for what you did earlier."
He knelt, one leg stretched out to the side, hands clasped between his thighs. He hadn't yet met her gaze, so she knew he was feeling remorseful. Good. Mr. Big Bad needed to be knocked down a few pegs.
"I should not have accompanied you to the audition. I'm sorry. I just...You can't understand what it's like for me to stand by and watch my mate interact with another man."
"It's called dancing. People do it all the time without falling down and having s.e.x."
He swiped a hand over his face and gritted out, "But you're mine."
"I don't belong to you. I don't want to be owned by you."
"You're my mate, Bella."
"Is that how it's supposed to be for a werewolf's mate? Secluded away from the rest of the world, never allowed to hold a conversation with another man for fear he may look at her the wrong way or, heaven forbid, shake her hand?"
"Please, Bella." He clenched his hands into fists, fighting aggression. "This is new for me. I'm trying not to be the he-man, as you call it, and to make this relations.h.i.+p work."
"New?" She tipped the flower off her foot and cast her toe about in search of another. "You've never had a mate before?"
"No."
"But you've had s.e.x with women."
"Doesn't make them my mate. I explained this. You are the only one for me. You've met the wolf, and it accepted you. No other woman has met the wolf."
He was trying, she could tell. It must be killing him not to simply grab her, kiss her and drag her home by her hair.
Home. She'd just considered Severo's mansion to be home. She'd known him but a short while, and already she felt as if he was a part of her life. And some parts of life weren't always fun and joyous, but occasionally sticky and downright meddlesome. "Severo." She breathed out and closed her eyes, drawing in the lilies' scent. "Despite the fact that this is the strangest relations.h.i.+p ever...and that you are not a gentle or compa.s.sionate person...and that you insist that everything goes your way...and that when you find someone you want, you take them, no matter their concerns...Despite all that, a part of me is in for the ride. I mean..."
She sighed. Was she going to admit this after only moments ago reveling in her anger?
It was futile to resist.
"This feels right. And I do love you."
Smiling a careful smile, he reached in to the pool and plucked a blossom. He tucked it over her ear, and a few droplets of water ran down her cheek. He traced one droplet down to her jaw.
"And yet, I don't want to sacrifice my life to be a part of yours," she added.
"You needn't."
"But dancing means a lot to me. I had hopes of getting that apprentices.h.i.+p. It would have advanced my studies and allowed me to teach part-time."
"I'll call the studio tomorrow. No, I'll go there and apologize in person."
"No, don't. It's over. I'm sure Tony has already selected an apprentice. I don't want you going anywhere near the studio."
"I will not, then. Good thing for Tony."
She smirked. "He's gay, big boy."
"Really? But he moved so sensually with you. Ah, I don't have that...What is it they call it?"
"Gaydar?"
"Yes, that. I'm sorry, Bella." He removed his hand from her cheek, but she took his palm in hers.
"Apology accepted. But I have a life, which you need to accept if you want me in yours. And I have a job."
"You needn't work, Bella. I will take care of you."
"But I like my job, and I like to work. It gives me a sense of purpose. Heck, it's a means of communicating with others."
"I have an office at the estate. It is yours to use when you wish."
"I know." She sighed again.
She would get nowhere arguing about her need to keep hold of the real world. Not the weird, marvelous world at the bottom of the rabbit hole that Severo occupied. That world was interesting, and she liked being a part of it. But rationally, she knew she had to cling to her world as long as possible.
His presence, so immense and overpowering, was softened by the flowers' perfume. At once she hated him, and she did not. He was a lost soul, roaming the earth in search of another soul who could fulfill him, make him happy, erase his pain.
She hadn't thought she needed a relations.h.i.+p, but feeling needed did something to her idea of remaining single. It obliterated the idea.And if that didn't do it, Severo's kiss did.
He tilted up her chin and leaned in to kiss her. So gentle, lingering, not a hint of the intensity his kisses usually wielded. I'm sorry, the kiss said.
And then it was gone, and he sat next to her, stretching his legs out to the side so they wouldn't dangle in the pool. Bella snuggled her cheek against his chest. "I want to make this work," she whispered.
He stroked her hair and simply held her. His silence was the best thing he could have given her.
Bella hung up the phone and rubbed her palms along her bare arms.
"Something wrong, sweet?"
She turned to hug up to her lover on the bed. They'd retreated to the bedroom. Last night she had agreed her loft in the city wasn't safe and had gone home with him after they'd made love beside the flower-filled pool.
They spent most nights making love. It was as if they couldn't get enough of each other. He was her air, and she his. The man was insatiable.
"That was Seth." She rested her head against his shoulder and stared up at the ceiling. "He wants to talk."
"And he couldn't do it over the phone? Bella, how did he sound?"
"What do you mean?"