Once And Forever: Virtually Impossible Part 19

"Why are you paranoid?"

"Long story. No laugh-out-loud parts." He was silent, maybe waiting for me to go on. But I wouldn't. "Actually, it's not really something I can share." Even if I knew exactly what had happened to Sara, why her behavior had changed from one night to the next, I couldn't tell Hayden.

"Maybe you could install one of those tracker things on my phone, too. I'm always losing the d.a.m.n thing."

I whipped my head toward him, needing to see his expression to know if he was making fun of me. d.a.m.n, he had a great smile, dark, intelligent eyes, and just a shadow of stubble softening his jaw.

I think I sighed.

"I'd be happy to, Hayden. But then I would know exactly where you are at all times."

"Where I am, not where I want to be, correct?" His tone was bittersweet-humorous but sad at the same time. I didn't look too long, though, because if I saw what I hoped I might, my priorities would change. And my judgment might get even worse.

Just as the dot appeared over a map of the city, Hayden's phone rang. "Bennett." Then a pause. "This is Hayden Bennett, a friend of the other Sara's."

I jumped out of my chair. "Give me the phone." As soon as he handed it to me, I said, "Sara, are you okay?"

"Yeah," she grumbled. "That guy was a total loser. He took me to this gorgeous house and then told me he lived over the garage. So I'm thinking, 'Okay, he works for the owners, and they give him a place.' Right? But no, his parents own it and support him. Obviously, I'm not looking for a boyfriend so I could overlook that because, whatever, times are tough right now. But you should've seen his room. No, actually, no one should ever have to see that. There was no way I was laying down on that bed. No way. Seriously, it was so disgusting, Andi."

I covered the phone up as if Hayden could hear Sara call me by name, but he'd turned away and was looking at the books on my shelf. I tried not to think about a couple that were up there. I was a single woman who didn't date or leave the house very often, and who liked to read. So yeah, there might be a few t.i.tles I wouldn't want my mother, or my boss, or whatever Hayden was, to know I had. I refocused on what Sara was blabbing on about.

"I don't think he'd washed his sheets since high school. You know how men are, so you know what's on those sheets. Eww. Soooo I took a cab home and was about to turn off my phone when I saw that I'd gotten a call. Or four. I called the number back because I thought it was sticky-sheet boy, but it turned out to be your boyfriend."

"He's not my-" I shut my mouth because the last thing I needed was for Hayden to hear that word anywhere close to this situation. "I'm glad you're okay. Let's meet tomorrow so I can get my phone back. And don't ever leave without telling me where you're going again, got it?"

"Okay, Mom. Got it. Oh, and Andi? Don't do anything I wouldn't."

"There is nothing you wouldn't do." I hung up on her giggle and handed Hayden his phone back.

"So, all is well?" he asked.

"Yeah, false alarm." I shut down my computer and led him into the living room. "Sorry I made you come over here for nothing."

"I'm not over here for nothing. I'm over here for you."

"Me?" Maybe it was because I wasn't worried about Sara anymore, or maybe the alcohol had worn off and my brain could function again. But all of a sudden, it hit me-holy-motherboard, I was standing three feet away from Hayden Bennett. Hayden Bennett was... Aaaand, there went the brain function.

"Um..." Yep. Three years of college, student loans I'll be paying off until the end of time, and the only thing I could think of to say was, 'um.'

"It's nice that you care about someone that much."

"Uh-huh." My command of the English language was so impressive he'd probably ask me to speak at his next board meeting.

He stepped closer to me. "Is there anyone else you care about that much? Or more?"

I got what he was asking-did I have a friend I spent a lot of time naked with-but the closer Hayden got, the harder it was to move...anything. Including my mouth.

"Nuh-uh." See? No mouth movement at all.

"That's...good news."

I can't even describe the sound I made. It was like an affirmative sigh with a little fear tossed in somehow.

"I'm still processing that I'm finally in the same room with you," he said quietly. "But it's late, so..."

Okay, this was just awkward for everyone within a three-mile radius. Us standing about two feet from each other. Staring at each other.

Why did he keep glancing at my lips? I hoped it wasn't because he was anxious for me to say something. He'd be seriously disappointed unless he wanted to hear another 'um' or 'uh-huh.'

"Could I have a gla.s.s of water before I go?"

"Go?" I shook the stupid out of my mind. "Yeah, of course. Of course, you're going to leave. And hydration is important." I slammed my lips together and headed for the kitchen, brus.h.i.+ng his shoulder slightly as I walked by. The tingly feeling was completely gone by the time I got to the sink. I'd be fine. I filled up two gla.s.ses and downed mine while handing the other to him.

He took a sip before setting it down on the counter. A sip? That's it?

"I thought you were thirsty."

He shook his head. "The water was just an excuse to give me a chance to think of another excuse to stay longer. But it's delicious. Thank you."

"I only serve the finest of tap waters."

"Then I'd hate to waste it. It's only polite to stick around until I've finished it and thought of the next excuse, don't you think?"

"Definitely." Thank G.o.d I hadn't put it in a to-go cup.

He pointed to one of the kitchen chairs, waiting until I nodded for him to sit down. My kitchen was the least romantic place on earth-designed by an eighty-year-old woman that the twenty-three-year-old woman who lived here now hadn't gotten around to redecorating.

"How did you know it was Sara who left?" I asked. "How did you know she was my friend when she walked by?"

"I saw her with you, and then, while you two were standing in the bar, Other-Sara saw me through the doorway. Probably because she'd caught me staring at you."

"How did you know what I looked like?"

"I didn't. I recognized your voice but didn't expect you to look like you do. So I stared. And when she saw me staring at you, she stared at me. And frankly, Other-Sara has a way of staring that makes a man feel a bit...objectified."

"And I'm sure that's never happened to you before." I laughed until the look on his face drained all the humor away, leaving only feelings that shouldn't be there. "How were you staring at me before she started staring at you, Hayden?"

He smirked. "Remember, I didn't expect you to look like you do. So I stared in a mostly bewildered and"-he looked away guiltily-"possibly objectifying manner. But only slightly objectifying."

"I don't believe for a minute that you aren't used to people looking at you."

"I'm completely used to it. It happens all the time. I have one of those faces, common faces, that everyone thinks they recognize." If he thought his face was common, he needed to replace all the mirrors in his house with ones that actually worked.

"Do you actually think that's why people stare at you?"

"I hope it's not because I have something between my teeth." He shrugged. "Although, even if I did, I don't spend much time smiling, so how would anyone know?"

"Something between your teeth? Sure. It couldn't be because you're ridiculously attractive and seem to be important in certain circles?"

"You think I'm attractive?"

I laughed. "Don't get overly excited, Hayden. Everyone else thinks you're attractive, too."

"I'm not concerned with what everyone else thinks of me."

I took a deep breath. Then another. Then another, until I remembered that's how people hyperventilate. And that would just suck.

"You're married."

He leaned back in the chair and took a long swig of his water. Almost finis.h.i.+ng it. Probably wanting to go. "We keep coming back to this point, don't we?"

"Are you surprised? It's kind of a deal breaker."

"No, I'm not surprised. Disappointed, yes. Surprised, no." He finished his water and got up to put it in the sink. I was a millisecond away from asking him to stay when he turned on the tap, filled his gla.s.s back up, and spun around to face me. "I understand why you don't believe me when I tell you Clare and I are getting a divorce. I understand because you don't know me as well as I wish you did, as well as I wish I knew you. So I'm not asking for anything more than that chance-to get to know each other."

"I think you've had enough water for one night." I took it from him and dumped it into the sink. "Come back when your divorce is official." I put out my hand, like that would fool either of us into thinking this was a business relations.h.i.+p. Maybe I was trying to remind both of us.

"I will. I will come back. And you're going to have to come up with another reason to not see what this could become." He took my hand and lifted it to his lips.

I swallowed when I felt my girlie insides melt. "Where do you get your moves, Mr. Bennett?"

"I watch a lot of black and white movies." Made sense. Men didn't behave like this anymore. Men didn't behave period.

I stared at him, frozen in thought. "I believe you. Maybe I'm an idiot, but I believe you're getting divorced. Because you believed me when I told you I didn't leak that information to your compet.i.tor."

"I didn't, though," he said sadly. "Not until you showed me proof."

"Well..." I sighed. "I guess that means I'm either a better person or a bigger idiot than you are."

"Definitely the former."

I should've added 'better liar' to those options. But I think this was the proof I needed. Proof that I could trust him, that he was the man I hoped he was. If I knew that for sure, then I could tell him who I was. But I couldn't go first. Blind trust had ruined my life and my future, so it was a little tough to muster more up.

"I'm going to ask you this once," I said. "Please, don't make me regret trusting you." The words that mirrored his own held the same amount of meaning. This was about trust, and this was for good. "Are you really getting a divorce?"

"Yes."

"But not because of..." It would be the height of arrogance to think it had anything to do with me.

"Are you asking if my interest in you was part of the reason?" Thankfully, he answered without waiting for a response. "Splitting up is the right thing for both of us. Your involvement is limited to the fact that I never imagined anything better was possible for me. Now, when I talk to you or...look at you, I think there might be. But you get a small say in that part of it, I suppose."

"Gee, thanks." I ducked my head. "There are a lot of things I haven't told you about me yet. Maybe you'll change your mind once you know."

"Are you married?"

I popped my head up. "No."

"In a monogamous relations.h.i.+p with anyone? Let's not count me for right now because our monogamous and incredibly pa.s.sionate relations.h.i.+p hasn't begun yet."

d.a.m.n, I wished he hadn't said that. "No."

"Then the only thing left is for you to give me your ID and a major credit card."

"What?"

He smiled. "Like you said, if you give them to me, then I know you're not a serial killer or a rapist. Anything other than that I can deal with."

Man, I hoped that was true.

25.

Hayden What was happening to me? I'd met a woman for the first time and was already falling for her. Granted, we'd known each other a while, but things like this didn't happen. Not to me, or anyone else. The love-at-first-sight phenomenon could be easily explained away by hormones and other chemical reactions. But this was the reverse. Maybe the fact that I liked her so much was actually making her more attractive. Love before first sight.

"You are very beautiful," I said, sitting down at her kitchen table again, determined to stay as long as possible. "Very drunk, but very beautiful."

"I'm not drunk anymore." She stood behind a chair, gripping the back tightly. As if that chair would keep us apart more than half a second if I tried to get to her. But I could control myself...for now.

"I'm glad you didn't try to refute the other part."

"If I'd been listening, I might have. But I didn't hear what I could be refuting. Was it anything good?"

I laughed. "Very, very beautiful."

"I can't hear you," she mocked, pointing to her ears in the silent room. "It's loud in here."

"And so different from what I imagined." Which would have been perfect, too. "I didn't think you would look like you do."

"What? You imagined me sitting in front of my computer all day, combing my mullet and covered in cat hair?"

"Of course, not." I'd imagined her pretty, not stunning. "I knew you wouldn't be covered in cat hair. It would be dog hair from the pack of wolves who raised you."

"Ah." She sat down, a very wicked, probably slightly drunken smile lighting up her face. "Well then, you're exactly right. But Mom and Dad don't shed this time of year, so fur isn't a big issue. You should probably avoid me in the spring, though."

"You don't look at all Greek."

"Greek?"

"Your last name is Greek, isn't it? I thought-"

"Yeah, Greek," she said quickly. "I'm adopted."

I couldn't stop glancing at her lips. The ones that teased me, challenged me, controlled me. Punished me when they would say goodbye. The ones I would give anything for just one taste of.