Forever Alexa Part 10

"She does an excellent job. Emma, you're a very lucky little girl. And look at this view." She stepped to the window and sighed, studying the waves cras.h.i.+ng against the cliffs in the distance. "It's breathtaking. I love the ocean. I love watching Livy dance and play in the waves. We don't get to the water as much as I would like back in Maryland. We're always so busy with Livy's tumbling cla.s.ses and my lesson plans. Groceries and laundry. Time gets away from me."

"We can go more often if you want. The beach is just a couple miles down the road."

She'd forgotten herself in her pleasure. "That's okay. You have a lot going on with work."

"Forgot to be careful and keep it all bottled up."

Surprised, Alexa turned. He still knew her so well.

He leaned his shoulder against the frame of the crib, the picture of relaxation, until she focused on his eyes.

"I'm not sure-"

"Yeah, you are. We both are. You tell me what I want or need to know about Olivia and Abby, but you're off limits-a closed book."

Her back went up. "That's right."

"Can I hold her?"

She stared at him, frowning, unable to keep up with the abrupt change in conversation. "Of course." She walked to him and handed off Emma.

Jack sat in the rocking chair, setting an easy rhythm with his legs. "She's getting so big. She's such a pretty thing."

Apparently the tense moment had pa.s.sed. "Yes, she is." She continued to study Jack. He was so handsome, so tough and masculine, yet gentle and attentive as he smiled down at the baby in his arms. Alexa clutched the edge of the crib, drowning in waves of regret. "I stole a million moments like this from you and Livy."

He stopped rocking and looked at her.

"How can you stand it? How can you be so kind to me when I took that from you?"

He held out his hand. "Come here."

She shook her head and stayed where she was. "You didn't want me, but that didn't mean you didn't want her. I was wrong, Jack. I was so wrong."

He settled Emma at his shoulder and burped her. "Come here, Alex."

Giving in to her heart, she walked to him and took his outstretched hand.

"I messed up our relations.h.i.+p, Alex. I did this."

"No." She couldn't let him take all the blame.

"Give me some of it back. Tell me what it was like. What was Olivia like?"

"Perfect. Amazing. She was amazing." Alexa smiled, getting lost in her memories. "She was such a peanut when she was born. I remember the first time I held her. I was terrified but so in love. I stared at her perfect little face and saw so much of you."

Jack clutched her hand tighter. "You used our names."

She nodded, stunned that he remembered. "Yes, I used the names we picked out on those silly occasions we would dream. I wasn't going to. It hurt too much, but then I saw her and I knew she had to be Olivia Grace."

"Alex."

She shook her head in defense against the gentleness in his voice and the pain in his eyes. "Every moment was beautiful-has been beautiful," she went on before he could say anything more. "Even the days and nights when I was so tired and scared and had so many plates spinning in the air... She's been my joy."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry you went through it alone."

"I wasn't alone. I had Gran and Abby. They were great. Abby came home on the weekends. Gran helped as much as she could, but she was in so much pain."

"You were taking care of Gran and Olivia and working full-time."

Alexa shrugged. "I did what I had to. She gave up so much for me and Abby."

"When did she die?"

"A couple years ago. She pa.s.sed mercifully quickly. I made it to the hospital with just enough time to tell her I loved her and to promise her I would take care of Abby. She told me I should find you. That was the last thing she said." Alexa dropped his hand and walked to the window. Touching him was too much right now when her defenses were down.

Jack laid Emma in her crib and stepped up behind her. "Alex." He turned her to face him. "Alex, I..." He frowned and snagged his finger against the chain of her necklace, tugging at the charm half hidden under her top.

"Jack, don't." She took a step away and stared into his eyes as she clutched her hand around the small piece of gold.

"Stop." He grabbed her arm and pulled her back. "Let me see."

She pressed her lips firm and tightened her grip. "Leave it alone."

"You-you kept it." He removed her fingers curled around the chain and toyed with the triangular charm. "Alex, you kept it."

She turned and stared out at the rough waters. She had no choice but to tell him the truth. "I couldn't take it off."

"Do you... Do you always wear it?" He brushed his hands down her arms.

"Yes." She closed her eyes, struggling to remain unaffected by the warmth of his touch. "Please don't."

He pulled her against him. "All this time... The last two weeks... I didn't notice." The heat of his breath feathered her neck.

"I didn't want you to," she whispered.

"All this time," he repeated next to her ear as he clasped their fingers.

This was a mistake-a huge mistake, but she couldn't pull away.

The door opened. "We're starting... Oh, excuse me." Sarah stepped back out and shut the door.

Coming to her senses, Alexa freed herself and hurried to the crib.

"Wait."

"No." She gently picked up the sleeping baby. "You don't want this."

"Don't tell me what I want, Alex."

"Okay, I don't want this. You're caught up."

"d.a.m.n straight I'm caught up."

She shook her head vehemently. "You don't get to be. You don't get to do this. We can't go back. We can't make mistakes because of old emotions and memories." Although she spoke to Jack, she was reminding herself. She'd melted under his touch. This couldn't happen again. She yanked the door open and stepped out, almost cras.h.i.+ng into the bride. "Oh, oh, I'm so sorry." She clutched Emma closer.

The bride smiled, fully, beautifully. She was stunning in her simple A-line organza gown. The empire bodice matched her bridesmaids' dresses. Los Angeles was definitely home to 'the beautiful people.' Alexa hadn't seen anything different yet.

"No, problem." The bride's honey-colored eyes twinkled with excitement.

"You look wonderful." She adjusted Emma in her arms as the baby nuzzled closer.

"Thanks. I'm Hailey." The bride held out a well-manicured hand.

"Alexa." She took it and shook.

"There's the bride."

Hailey's smile grew impossibly wider when Jack enveloped her in a hug.

"You're stunning." He kissed Hailey's cheek. "I think you might just knock Austin on his a.s.s."

"I already did." Hailey chuckled and poked him in the stomach.

"You got me there." Jack winked and hugged her again. "Congratulations, beautiful."

"Thank you." She held him a moment. "Thank you so much for everything," she whispered as her tone grew serious and she looked at him.

He nodded and skimmed a finger over her cheek.

There was an unmistakable bond between Hailey and Jack.

Hailey drew away, and her eyes brightened once more. "Alexa, I want to spend some time with you later, but first, there's something I have to do."

Hailey's sweet excitement was infectious, and Alexa grinned. "Don't let me stand in your way."

"Nothing could. I'm getting married." She did a little boogie. "I still can't believe it. I'm actually marrying Austin Casey."

"Not a nerve out of place in this one," Morgan joked as she came up behind Hailey. "Come on, Bride. Let's do this before baby Phillips arrives. For someone who's so excited, you're sure taking forever." She pulled Hailey toward the stairs. "Ethan's waiting to walk you down the aisle."

The hall was silent again as the wedding party headed downstairs. Alexa followed in her attempt to avoid Jack.

"Alex, wait."

She stopped, blew out a breath, bit her lip, and turned. "We need to get Livy and find our seats."

He stared at her, nodded, and they went downstairs.

Dusk darkened the cliffs beyond as the DJ rolled into his next song. Jackson smiled as he watched Olivia and Kylee laugh and dance about in their pretty dresses. Their cheeks were flushed and their cute hairdos long since tangled by the blowing Pacific winds. They were having a h.e.l.l of a time. Olivia would always have a friend when she came to visit.

His smile dimmed as the thought depressed him. Now that he had his daughter with him, how could he let her go? He didn't want to share her on vacations and every other holiday; he wanted her living in LA every day. He loved having Olivia in his home, loved being surrounded by her energy, clutter, and noise. She had only been in his life for a couple of weeks, but she was by far one of the two best things that had ever happened to him.

Scanning the bustling crowd, he searched for the other. He spotted Alex across the tent, standing in the glow of several candles. She too seemed to be hitting it off as she talked and laughed with Hailey, Sarah, and Morgan. This was the first time she'd appeared remotely happy since he woke her on Sarah and Ethan's living room couch. It was good to see a bit of sparkle in her eyes again. The last two weeks had been h.e.l.l for her. He'd heard her quiet crying and endless pacing late into the nights but kept his distance, because that's what he knew she wanted.

He hated that he wasn't able to make her laugh the way Hailey was now, the way he used to. When they'd first started dating, he'd had to coax her into relaxing and letting herself have a little fun. The burden of too many responsibilities had taken their toll. Helping her ill grandmother raise a teenager while trying to work and maintain her scholars.h.i.+ps had been more than any twenty-year-old should have to deal with. Every smile he'd teased from her in the beginning had been a small victory. It wasn't all that different now. He'd seen a few of her stellar grins, but not nearly enough. She was too weary around him, too stiff and guarded. It was going to take more than two weeks to move past the damage he'd caused in their relations.h.i.+p.

Jackson continued to study her-the way her glossy black hair s.h.i.+ned in the dim light, the way her eyes widened with surprise before she threw her head back and let loose her full-throated laugh. "My G.o.d," he muttered as the familiar sound sent him reeling. She was so d.a.m.n beautiful. Would he ever get used to it?

Hailey said something and Alex responded. Jackson's focus sharpened as she reached up and touched her necklace-a habit he'd noted throughout the evening. She'd kept it and had never taken it off, she'd admitted, albeit reluctantly. While dinner had been served, he hadn't been able to take his eyes off the charm-intertwining loops that created an ornate triangle. He hadn't noticed it several nights before when he helped her undress, only the glint of a chain against the smooth skin of her neck. Would he have helped Evelyn pack if he'd known the gold twists of the charm were facing her back? There had to be something left between them if she wore the gift he gave her all those years before.

"Open your present." He held out a rectangular box, wis.h.i.+ng they were anywhere but in his trashed room at the frat house. The blaring music from down the hall, even with the door closed and locked, didn't exactly set the scene he'd been going for, but he hadn't been able to wait for the special dinner he'd planned.

She hesitantly took the box he'd painstakingly wrapped in frilly, flowered paper. "You didn't have to get me anything."

"Of course I did. You only turn twenty-one once, and besides, I just missed your birthday when we met last year." He loved surprising her with little things. She never expected them, which made giving them more fun.

"Thank you."

He grinned. "You haven't opened it yet."

"I know, but..." Smiling, she shook her head and bit her lip as she peeled the paper away.

Uncustomarily nervous, he shoved his hands in his pockets and took them back out as she lifted the lid.

"Oh, Jack," she gasped. "It's beautiful." She freed the s.h.i.+ny gold necklace and let the chain dangle between her fingers, then she caught the charm in her hand and studied the intertwining knots. "I've never seen anything like it."

"I was kinda going for one-of-a-kind. You know, symbolic."

"I love it." She took her eyes from the jewelry and met his. "I really do."

"Good." He relaxed his shoulders and touched her jaw. He'd wanted the gift to be perfect. "Good," he repeated. "Let me help you put it on."

They turned to the mirror on his closet door. Alex lifted yards of silky black hair away from her long, slender neck and he was instantly surrounded by the intoxicating scent of flowers and vanilla. "So, what does it mean?"

He struggled with the small clasp. "The jeweler said the charm has many meanings-religious and so forth, but the loops are what caught my eye." He secured the chain in place and met her gaze in the mirror as he slid his hands down her arms and laced their fingers. "I like how they go on forever." He kissed the back of her neck. "That's what I want. I want forever with you, Alex." He watched her eyes fill. "I love you."

She turned and pressed her hand to his cheek. "I've never been given anything so special. Thank you."

"You're welcome." He locked his arms at her waist. "Happy birthday."

"I love you so much, Handsome Jack," she whispered.

Caught up, he pressed his lips to hers, and the tender kiss soon turned hungry. Need sent them instantly to the floor where clothes were tossed aside. Sighs and gasps filled the air as minutes pa.s.sed. Eventually, Alex straddled him, moving with him while the charm of her new necklace caught hints of the light as it swung back and forth against her naked chest.

"h.e.l.l of a party," Tucker Campbell said as he sidled up next to Jackson.

Jackson took a long swallow of his beer, fighting to bury the past that snuck up to catch him off guard. "Austin and Hailey know how to have a good time."

"They look happy."