Forever Alexa Part 37

He walked to her, recognizing her attempt to sh.o.r.e herself up and deal with her pain on her own-cla.s.sic Alex. Hesitating, taking a chance, he rested his hands on her shoulders, refusing to back away when she stiffened. "Talk to me."

"I'm fine." Her breath heaved out in a helpless rush as she bent for the basket. "Really. I'm just fine."

He traced his thumbs in gentle circles along her rigid shoulders. "No you're not."

"I-I'm abandoning my sister." She pressed her hands to her face.

"You're not." d.a.m.n this entire situation. "You're not, Alex."

"Then why do I feel like I am?" She turned to him, her devastated blue eyes hopeless and br.i.m.m.i.n.g with more unshed tears.

Enough was enough. She could be angry with him later. "Come here." He pulled her against him and wrapped her up tight in a hug. Her fingers clutched at the waist of his t-s.h.i.+rt, and it no longer mattered that they were both walking on eggsh.e.l.ls. She needed him. He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "We're not giving up on Abby." He eased her back until they looked at each other. "We're just taking a step back to make sure you and Olivia are safe."

"She might not come home." She pressed her face to his chest. "We may never find her. I'm trying to deal with that."

He could only imagine the depths of her despair. How could he make this okay when she was exactly right? Abby hadn't been seen since the night at the strip club. There was no telling where the ring had s.h.i.+pped her. "We'll never stop looking. I promise." He tilted her chin up and met her gaze. "I promise, Alex. We will never stop looking." He emphasized the last three words.

Her lower lip trembled, and she nodded.

He curled a lock of her soft hair around his finger. "We're not giving up."

"But we'll be so far away."

For all they knew, Abby was lost somewhere in the Orient or Europe or a million other places he couldn't even begin to imagine, but he kept that to himself. "Technology's pretty d.a.m.n amazing, especially the stuff Ethan has on hand. It'll be like we're still here, but we can breathe a little easier knowing you and Liv aren't targets."

"I never meant to put our daughter in danger. I never, ever meant to do that, Jack. Ever."

"Of course you didn't, but I've certainly implied differently. I'm sorry." He wiped a tear from her cheek. "You're a great mom, Alex. There's no one else I want as the mother of my children."

She clutched at his fingers, which were still lingering at her jaw. Doubt clouded her eyes.

"Look what you've done all on your own. Look at that bright, beautiful little girl over there playing with her dolls. You did that."

"I don't know what I would do if anything happened to her."

He pulled her close again. "Nothing's going to happen to her. We're leaving first thing tomorrow."

"But what about the black truck?"

His cellphone vibrated against his hip, alerting him to a text. He wanted to ignore it, but there was too much going on to carelessly disregard messages. "Hold that thought." He pulled the phone free and read Ethan's note. Escalade registered to a Christian and Chloe Ridgeway. No criminal background. Christian is an investment banker and Chloe a stay-at-home mom. Not seeing a connection here.

"What is it? What does it say?" Alex leaned in.

Jackson read the message again. "Hold on," he said to Alex as he typed back. Are you sure?

The phone vibrated in his hand. Ran it three times. Think you're good.

Well thank G.o.d, but it still left him uneasy. Why was the Escalade moving so slowly through the parking lot?

"What's going on?"

He shoved the phone back in its holder. "Ethan ran the license number from the vehicle at the park. Apparently it was just a really big coincidence. The owners have no criminal record and appear to be upstanding citizens."

She frowned. "Are you sure? Is Ethan sure?"

"He ran the plate and their records three times." He shrugged. "If Ethan's not concerned, I guess I won't be either."

"What about tonight?"

"What about it?"

"What about Livy and your parents?"

"Dougie's coming to stay again. Tucker's going to let Dougie and his wife use his family's vacation home in Utah for a week as thanks."

She pulled away from his arm still wrapped around her waist. "I just figured you would stay home."

"Doug can handle stuff here. I wouldn't leave my daughter and parents in his hands if I didn't think so."

"It's not that. I trust your judgment completely. You don't-you don't approve of what I'm doing."

"I'm worried the risks won't be worth the end result." He took a step back, concerned that they were about to head down the ugly path this same conversation had taken them down last night.

"I have to believe something good is going to come from this."

"I hope it does." He sighed as unease started to creep up his shoulders again.

She reached for her necklace and dropped her hand immediately, but not before she darted a glance at him. Despite their civil conversation of the last few minutes, her gesture brought the major obstacles of their relations.h.i.+p back to the forefront.

"I should get this laundry sorted and in the wash." She yanked up the basket, all nerves again, and headed for the door. "Go ahead and grab your stuff, and I'll wash it too."

"We need to talk about last night."

She stopped. "Not now."

"Why wait?" He wanted the air clear and to be on the right track again.

She turned to face him. "Because this is complicated. Because I don't know where we're going."

"The way we should've gone all along."

"I'm not so sure anymore. I have no idea what's left between us. What if-what if we're trying to relive the past?"

Shocked, speechless, he could only stare. They'd had a h.e.l.l of an argument last night, but he'd chalked it up to a major difference of opinion and raw emotion; never did he doubt their relations.h.i.+p the way she did right now. "I don't-I don't even know what to say. We've had some problems over the past few days..." Completely deflated, he shoved his hand through his hair and sat on the edge of the bed. "I love the past we had. I regret walking away, but I'm not trapped in some time warp trying to recreate our glory days. I thought we were building a future. We have Olivia. I love you right now for who you are right this minute."

"I love you too, Jack. More than you'll ever know, but I'm not so sure that's enough. I just don't know anymore-about anything."

A kick to the b.a.l.l.s had never hurt this bad. "I am. I'm sorry you're not." He stood and glanced at his daughter still playing with her dolls, then at the woman he didn't want to live without. His future was slipping through his fingers, but the guarded look in Alex's eyes told him he would only push them further backward if he didn't give her s.p.a.ce. "I'm going to go make some phone calls." Shaken to the core, he opened the door and stepped into the hall.

"I don't want to hurt you, Jack."

But she had. She'd crushed him. "I'll see you when it's time to go." He walked downstairs without looking back.

The treadmill belt whipped around so fast Jackson had to sprint. Sweat flew from his arm as he punched the b.u.t.ton and kicked the machine up another notch. He'd been hurtling his way to nowhere for several minutes, but it wasn't fast enough to outdistance the pain. Even though Alex had tossed his necklace aside last night, nothing could have prepared him for her major step back-all the way back.

They'd fought-big time. They'd hurt each other even more, but that didn't mean their relations.h.i.+p had to be over. Despite the odds, he and Alex had found each other again. They couldn't just walk away. Did she really think he was living in the past? How could she not feel how much he loved her?

He'd let himself believe they had moved beyond the biggest mistake he'd ever made. He'd fully expected to bring Alex and Olivia to California and move on with a marriage and more babies. If it was possible for a man to have a biological clock, he did, and it was ticking loudly. He wanted to fill Alex with another child and watch him or her grow, to be a part of everything from the beginning. But it was time to start preparing himself for a different ending.

What would happen now? Was Alex going to get her own place in LA? Would he have to schedule appointments to visits his daughter? How would he live without waking up to Olivia's voice every morning, or her smiles and hugs? He punched the motor up to the maximum as the thought tore at his heart. How could he not be there for every moment of Olivia's life? Alex and Olivia were his life. After several panting breaths in the silent room, he knew he couldn't be without his little girl. It would be like abandoning her all over again.

Completely spent, he hit the power b.u.t.ton and stepped off the black tread. He paced the length of the room with his arms bent and his hands behind his head, sucking in gulp after gulp of air. Beads of perspiration dribbled down his face in torrents and fell from his chin.

Tucker stopped in the doorway of the small gym. "Jesus Christ, man, you're going to sweat yourself to death."

Jackson settled his hands at his naked waist as his pulse began to steady. "Just blowing off some steam."

"Come blow off some steam in the office. I want you to show you something. I got a decent look at the house our informant thought we would find interesting."

"Give me a second." He picked up the liter of Gatorade and took several small sips; he'd overdone his workout. "Let me shower off."

"I'm going to make a sandwich." Tucker turned to leave.

"I think Alex and I are finished." He had to say it out loud so he could start to believe it.

Tucker stopped and faced Jackson.

"Alex isn't sure where things are going between us. I thought she was coming home with me for good, but that may not be happening after all."

"I thought you two were okay."

"We were until this week. We had a h.e.l.l of an argument last night. We both said things... What if she decides to come back to Maryland after all of this blows over? I can't leave Olivia. I'll have to quit my job and move out here. I don't see any other way."

"This is coming out of nowhere, man. Think on it for a while. See where the cards fall in a few days. You're too d.a.m.n good at what you do to throw your career away."

He laughed without humor. "I'm not doing a very good job right now. I've been tossed from tonight's operation."

"You're too involved."

He nodded. "Yeah, I am."

"Let's get through the sting and get everybody back to LA."

He sighed and stared out the window. The emptiness that had consumed him for four years was back with a vengeance. "I thought we were going to make it work this time."

"There's nothing saying you can't. Stress isn't good for any relations.h.i.+p, and it doesn't get any more stressful than this."

He ran a hand through his sweat-soaked hair, desperately hoping Tucker was right. "I guess."

The alarm beeped on Tucker's watch.

"How much time do we have?"

"Couple hours."

It was time to bury the ache of disillusionment for a while and deal with tonight. "Give me ten." He pa.s.sed Tucker on his way to the stairs.

"Oh, hey."

Jackson stopped on the third step and turned.

"The Escalade was a false alarm. I spotted the vehicle at the bank on my way back through town. I stopped to check it out. The owner, a young woman with a toddler in a stroller and baby strapped to her front, was stapling lost dog flyers to telephone poles. I asked her if she'd been through the park earlier today. She said she had-several times."

"Yeah. Ethan ran the plate. Guess I got a little paranoid."

Tucker shrugged. "Can never be too careful. Would've done the same thing myself."

"But now we know for sure we have one less thing to worry about." He relaxed a fraction knowing everything would be all right here tonight. "Meet you in the office. We'll look at some maps and you can fill me in on whatever you got today." It felt good to have something to keep him busy. Studying details and formulating strategies were great methods of distraction. He didn't want to think about the fact that he was on the verge of losing it all.

CHAPTER 22.

Jackson slowed again in the stop-and-go traffic heading toward the city on Fifty West. Weekend rush hour was madness as usual; the accident up ahead and the setting sun blinding him despite his sungla.s.ses didn't help. If they made it to the hotel on time, he would be shocked. He leaned back more comfortably in his seat and prepared himself for a very long ride in the tension-choked car.

Tucker's phone rang in the heavy silence. "Campbell."

Jackson tapped his breaks when the pickup in the left hand lane squeezed in front of him and cut him off. "Jacka.s.s," he muttered.

"Sounds like we have a problem then."

Jackson flicked Tucker a glance as Tucker looked at him. The muscles in his neck and back instantly tensed, and he gripped the wheel tighter. This wasn't going to be good. If Tucker said there was a problem, it was usually bad.

"No GPS means no Alexa."

"Wait a minute-what?" Alex moved forward in her seat. Her eyes met Jackson's in the rearview mirror, but he quickly returned his attention to the road. They'd barely spoken-their new pattern-since they hugged and kissed Olivia goodbye. Glancing back again, he studied her stunning face done up for the night ahead. He hated the d.a.m.n wig she wore. The layers of soft black beneath the fake blond were so much better.

"Make something happen or we're turning around." Tucker ended the call.

"What's up?" Jackson s.h.i.+fted over a lane as a stream of traffic merged in from the right.

"The GPS device doesn't want to cooperate tonight. The lab boys had wired up a pretty little piece of jewelry for Alexa to wear, but it's a no-go."