Don't Look Behind You Part 4

A moment later Larry was at the door, and Jason was racing across the room to open it.

"Hi!" he said. "Are you my sister's new boyfriend?"

"Jason!" I gasped in horror, but Larry looked pleased.

"Not yet," he said, "but it might be something worth considering."

"Mother-Dad-this is Larry Bushnell," I said quickly in an effort to ward off further remarks from my brother. "Larry's the friend I play tennis with every morning."

"It's nice to meet you," said Dad, extending his hand.

Mother said, "We're so glad Valerie's found another tennis buff. From what she says, you must be an excellent player."

"She's pretty good herself, for a girl," said Larry. "The coach at school's going to flip when he sees her serve. Tennis is a big deal here in Grove City. With Val on the team, I bet our girls make it to Nationals."

He and my parents chatted a few minutes longer, and then Kim beeped her horn to tell us to get a move on.

"Your folks seem cool," Larry said as we descended the steps and crossed the weed-infested yard to the car. "And your brother-when I first saw him, I couldn't believe it. I've never seen a kid with different-color eyes before."

The realization struck me like a fist in the stomach. Jason had not been wearing his contacts!

"Don't mention his eyes to anyone," I said hastily. "He's self-conscious about them and usually wears contact lenses."

"Whatever you say," said Larry. "I thought they looked cla.s.sy." He opened the door of the car, and the dome light popped on.

"Hi, Val," said Kim. "I'd like you to meet my stepsister. Abby, this is a friend of ours, Val Weber."

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The girl who was seated beside her turned to peer back at me, and a second punch in the stomach all but finished me."Why do you call her that?" asked Abby Keller. "That girl isn't named Val Weber, she's April Gross."I.

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Of course, I did what I had to do-I bluffed. I stared at the girl as though I had never seen her before and asked in feigned bewilderment, "What are you talking about?"

She returned my stare with narrowed blue eyes, not in the least intimidated by my reaction.

"Gross," she said. "You're the girl with the 'gross' last name."

"Abby, please, don't be rude to my friends," said Kim. "How would you feel if somebody said that about your name?"

"That's not what I meant," said Abby. "She knows what I meant. She sat with me on the plane coming down from Richmond. She told me her name was April Gross and that she and her mother were going to Sarasota. Why is she pretending to be somebody else?"

"You're mistaken," I said firmly. "You may have sat next to somebody who looked like me, but my name is Valerie Weber. I've never been to Virginia, and I'm certainly not 90.

staying in Sarasota. My parents and brother and I are from North Carolina.""That's not true!" Abby insisted. "I always remember people. I never make mistakes about things like that.""Anybody can make a mistake," said Larry. I could tell he was having to struggle to control his temper. He motioned me into the back and climbed in after me. "Come on, Kim, let's get moving or we'll miss the start of the show. You know the line's always eight miles long on dollar night."That statement proved to be only slightly exaggerated. When we arrived at the theater there were at least two dozen customers lined up in front of the ticket window, and by the time Kim had parked the car and we had walked back across the width of the parking lot, the line had almost doubled in length. Most of the people attending the movie were teenagers, and almost all of them seemed to know Kim and Larry. In a few minutes' time I was introduced to Sandi and Heidi and Erby and Fran and Amy and Scott and Jennifer and finally started losing track of names. The girls in particular looked me over with interest, and the one named Sandi acknowledged the introduction in such a chilly manner that I was sure she had more than a casual interest in Larry.When we finally reached the ticket window, Larry paid for both of us, and in the lobby he insisted on buying us both popcorn. Then, since Kim and Abby had bypa.s.sed the refreshment counter and been swept along with the crowd into the theater ahead of us, we ended up finding seats several rows behind them. Suddenly, without my wanting it to happen, Larry and I were not a part of a group, but a couple.That evening was definitely not the best of my life. The theater was small and insufficiently air-conditioned, the seats were cramped and uncomfortable, and the volume of the sound track was turned up so high that my ears felt as 91.

ready to blow as overloaded speakers. Even the movie itself was a disappointment. After gazing at the screen for a couple of minutes, I realized to my dismay that the picture was about vampires. I'd had an aversion to vampire movies ever since a fourth-grade slumber party when I'd become hysterical with terror watching Salem's Lot.

I would have liked to get up and walk out, but I was trapped. In the process of having my ticket and popcorn paid for, I inadvertently had become Larry's date. He made that very clear when, as a coven of greasy-haired bloodsuckers came zooming across the screen on high-powered motorcycles, his arm went snaking along the back of my seat and then slid down to settle around my shoulders.

There was something about the gesture that was so possessive that I felt like leaning forward and dumping the arm off me. It was as though he were staking a claim, and with such self-confidence that he didn't even glance over to gauge my reaction. I didn't want to blow the thing out of proportion, so for about ten minutes I sat there under the weight of the intrusive arm, munching popcorn I hadn't wanted in the first place, watching a movie I hated, and feeling miserable. Finally, when Larry's fingers started sensually ma.s.saging my upper arm, I whispered that I needed to find a rest room and hurried up the aisle and out into the lobby.

Once I had gotten that far I was tempted to keep on going. Our house was within walking distance of the theater, and the thought of being outside in the soft air of evening was enough to destroy the best of my good intentions. So strong was my desire to escape that I actually had my hand on the exit door and was trying to think of an excuse to offer later for my rudeness, when I looked out through the gla.s.s, past the light that spilled down from the marquee, and saw that rain was coming down in such a deluge that I couldn't even see past the curb to the street.

Well, so much for that, I thought, I'm here for the evening. I stood for a while, gazing out at the torrent of water 92.

cras.h.i.+ng down from above like Niagara Falls. Finally, in an effort to further postpone my return to my seat, I went back across the lobby to the ladies' room.There was n.o.body else in the rest room when I entered it, but as soon as I had stepped into one of the stalls, I heard the sound of the door to the lobby bang open and a sudden shrill burst of animated voices.". . . supposed to be a tennis whiz," a girl was saying. "Kim says that's the whole attraction, but I don't believe it. We're sitting right behind them, and from the way he's hanging all over her, tennis is the last thing he's got on his mind.""Kim's so naive she still believes in Santa Claus!" a second girl responded with a giggle. "Since when does her macho cousin pick girls for their muscles? Besides, she doesn't look all that athletic to me. I bet she doesn't even go out for the team."The doors to the cubicles on either side slammed shut, but the fact that the girls could no longer see each other did nothing to decrease the babble of conversation. They simply raised their voices and continued to gossip unselfconsciously as though oblivious to the fact that the center stall was occupied."Did you notice she's strutting around in Guess jeans? Where do you suppose she got those, a second-hand store? Everybody can see the family's dirt poor. Her dad drives an old beat-up Plymouth and works at Zip-Pic, and my aunt, who's a checker at the store where her mother buys groceries, says she gets all the cheapest brands of everything. If they're that hard up, you wonder why the woman isn't working.""Maybe she didn't finish high school or something.""You don't have to have a diploma to work in the Groves. What is there about that girl that's got Lover Boy drooling? It certainly can't be the hair style. She looks like she was attacked with a pair of garden shears."

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"She's somebody new in town, and our Larry likes a challenge. Sandi's problem is she makes everything too easy for him. He knows whenever he calls, she'll be sitting by the telephone."

Again the doors to the cubicles slammed simultaneously and a moment later I heard the sound of running water. The girls continued to chatter as they repaired their makeup, has.h.i.+ng over poor Sandi's dilemma and making more speculations about Larry's "new conquest." I considered embarra.s.sing them by stepping out of the stall but decided I was the one who would suffer if I did. It was going to be hard enough to start a strange school in my senior year without deliberately antagonizing my new cla.s.smates.

So I stayed holed up in my ridiculous hiding place until the two of them had finished making themselves beautiful. When they left, I emerged from the stall and washed my hands at the sink, so outraged by their gossip I was shaking all over. I longed to run after them, shouting, "We are not poor! Back home we have a lovely home and two new model cars! My mother's an author, and my father used to work for an airline! Not only are we just as good as you are, we're a whole lot better!" The frustration I felt at not being able to stand up for myself was so intense, it was making me literally nauseated. At least there was one nasty statement I'd be able to disprove-"She doesn't look all that athletic . . . she won't go out for the team." No matter how disdainful the kids in Grove City might be of my family, they would have to stand up and take notice when they saw me on the tennis court.

As I rinsed my hands at the sink, I averted my eyes so I wouldn't have to look at myself in the mirror. It came as a shock every time I caught sight of my hair. Since arriving in Florida I'd had it evened at a beauty parlor, so it wasn't quite as dreadful as it had been originally, but instead of Rapunzel, the Princess in the Tower, the short-cropped style made me look like Peter Pan.

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I rinsed my hands and thrust them under the air dryer. Then, accepting the fact that I couldn't forestall the inevitable indefinitely, I returned to The Lost Boys and to Larry."What took you so long1" he whispered as I slid into my seat. "You missed a lot of *ood stuff. The vampires fed that kid some blood, and now he's a vampire too. He just finished trying to murder his brother in the bathtub, but that didn't work, because the Irother's dog attacked him. Now he's outside the window, scratching on the gla.s.s, trying to get somebody to let him h."I gave a spontaneous shudder, which Larry misinterpreted."It is pretty cold in h;re with the air-conditioning so high.""I'm not cold at all," ] whispered, to no avail. Larry's arm came plunging down onto my shoulders as though it had been hanging suspended the whole time I was gone, and there it remained like a limp of living lead until the last vampire had been burned to a crisp, rammed through with a spike, or both.It was after ten by the time the movie was over. When we left the theater it was no longer raining. There were puddles on the sidewalk and the street was filled with water, but the sky was clear and lighted by a pale, young moon."An hour ago it was pouring," I commented in surprise."That's how Florida is in the summertime," said Kim. "There's not a cloud in the sky, and a few minutes later, rain's coming down by the bucketful. Summer storms don't usually last very long here, but while they do, they're torrential.""Was it different back in Virginia?" Abby asked slyly."Like I said before, I've never been in Virginia," I told her.I was grateful the drive to our house was not a long one. Even though Larry didn't try to put any moves on me in the car, I was uncomfortably aware of his presence in the seat 95.

beside me and the fact that our relations.h.i.+p had been subtly altered. Even worse was being enclosed with Abby. Having her turn out to be Kim's stepsister was the sort of ironic coincidence that I would have dubbed impossible if I'd seen it in a movie. I vowed that I'd never again disclose anything to anybody. You never knew when your words would come back to haunt you. The impossible did sometimes happen, and Abby was proof of that.By the time we turned onto Lemon Lane, the ditch at the side of the road had become a fast-flowing river, churning white with foam. It poured through the culverts that ran under the driveways leading back to unseen houses and emerged as wild sprays of froth, leaping high in the moonlight like demented ghosts. Kim pulled the car carefully into our driveway and around the bend between the high banks of bushes, bringing it to a stop in front of the house. Back in this pocket of shadows, trees shut off the light from the sky as effectively as the undergrowth cut off the sight of the road. Darkness lay dense and heavy on either side of us, but the beam of Kim's headlights cut a path to the porch, and lights could be seen behind the living room windows."Don't bother to get out," I told Larry as he reached for the door handle. "It's only a couple of yards, and I can see fine. Thanks for the movie and popcorn, and thanks for the ride, Kim.""We were glad to have you," said Kim. "Abby's a movie freak, so I guess we'll be seeing a lot of them this summer."I opened the door, and the dome light snapped back on. Abby had turned in her seat and was staring back at me with her sharp, blue eyes both knowing and filled with questions."The only movies they ever get here are old ones," she said deliberately, in the exact same tone she had used when she made that statement on the plane. "They're all so old they're already out as videos. But April-I mean Valerie-knows that already."

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"We all know that already," Larry said irritably. "As far as we're concerned though, they're first-run here." He turned to me. "Would you like to go to the beach tomorrow? Grove City's a refueling stop for cross-state buses, so transportation to Sarasota's no problem.""I don't think my folks would go for that," I told him. "They're into doing family things on the weekends." I wasn't sure what I wanted to do about Larry. I had no desire for our personal relations.h.i.+p to accelerate. On the other hand, our tennis games were so important to me that I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize them."Try to convince them," he said. "I'll call you in the morning.""Fine," I told him, grateful to be spared a decision right then. "Goodnight, everybody, and thanks again for everything."When I entered the house I knew at once that Dad and Mother had been arguing again. There wasn't a fight in progress-they both had their noses buried in books-but the air was thick with echoes of voices recently raised in anger and of unpleasant statements and shrill-toned accusations. I stood in the doorway, thinking how strange it was to see my parents seated one at each end of the sofa in a room filled with silence. Perhaps it was the harshness of the overhead light, but they both appeared older to me than they had back in Norwood. Dad's face had always been gentle and remarkably boyish, making his receding hairline seem a comical afterthought. Now, however, there was a haggard look to his features, and frown lines made shadowed trenches at the corners of his mouth. Mother looked tired and gla.s.sy-eyed and s.p.a.cey, and was sipping from her ever-present gla.s.s of orange juice.It was apparent they were waiting up for me, because as soon as I came in they both laid aside their books.Mother spoke first, enunciating carefully, as though she were afraid her tongue would become tangled. "Your fatherhas something he wants to discuss with you. I don't agree with his reasoning, but it seems my opinions don't count for much anymore.""What is it?" I asked nervously, social problems forgotten."Larry said something this evening that bothered me," said Dad. "I gave Tom Geist a call to get his reaction to it, and he thinks-and I agree with him-that it would be better if you didn't go out for the tennis team when school starts.""Not go out for the tennis team?" I exclaimed. "I don't understand. Why shouldn't I play tennis?""I didn't say you can't play," Dad a.s.sured me hastily. "Just don't play compet.i.tively. If you do, you'll rank high at the tournaments, and that could be dangerous.""You don't want me to play because I'm too good!""Larry said tennis is a major sport here," said Dad. "That means the players get featured in the newspaper. As good as you are, you're a shoo-in to make it to State and, for all we know, maybe to Nationals as well. The last thing our family needs is national publicity.""n.o.body's going to recognize 'Val Weber,' " I protested. "Isn't that the whole reason we changed our names?""This Vamp guy knows a lot about us," said Dad. "He's sure to have been supplied with all pertinent information. He won't recognize your name, but he'll recognize you. He'll know I have a daughter who plays champions.h.i.+p tennis. He'll know your age, what grade you're in, and what you look like. We can't stop people from taking pictures at meets, and we can't stop a newspaper from publis.h.i.+ng one on the sports page.""My tennis ability is all I have going for me here! Are you telling me all I can do is bop a ball around?" I was trying to keep my voice under control, but it seemed to be getting louder on its own accord, as if some invisible hand wereL.

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turning up the volume. I whirled upon Mother. "Are you going to let him do this!""As I already said, my opinions don't seem to matter. Your father's decided we all have to give up everything." Mother got up from the sofa and headed unsteadily for the kitchen, trailing her fingers lightly along the wall. "I'm going to get myself another gla.s.s of orange juice.""No, you're not," Dad told her sharply. "You've had enough. Come back here and sit down so we can discuss this.""There's nothing left to discuss," Mother shot back at him. "You and Tom make the rules, and the rest of us follow them. I gave up my career, and April will give up tennis, but you can't expect either one of us to be happy about it.""Our daughter's name isn't April, it's Valerie," said Dad. "We can't afford to make slips like that, even when we're alone. In a town this size, everybody overhears everything. It doesn't take much to make small-town people suspicious."That was the point when I should have told him about Abby and that Larry had seen my brother without his contacts. At that moment, however, I was too angry to trust myself to speak. I turned on my heel and, leaving my parents to finish their battle in private, went into my bedroom and shut the door behind me.

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That night I cried myself to sleep, but once I let go of consciousness I slept like a drugged thing, too emotionally exhausted even to dream. When I awoke, it was not of my own volition but because there was somebody shaking me by the shoulder. I reluctantly opened my eyes to find my father standing by my bed in a room that was just beginning to take on form in the pale pink glow of dawn.

"Wake up," Dad said. "We've got a big day ahead of us. Your mother and I have decided it's time for a mini-vay."

"You've whatT' It was the last thing I had expected. I made no effort to keep the contempt from my voice. "What kind of mini-vay can we have in Grove City?"

"The best," Dad said. "Disney World and Epcot Center. It's a two-hour drive, so if we want to spend a full day there, we need to get started."

"I don't feel like driving two hours to meet Mickey Mouse," I said. "The rest of you do what you want, but I'm staying here."

"Look, I know you're disappointed about the tennis,"

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said Dad. "Still, sulking won't change things. If I could, I'd go back and reshuffle the cards, but I can't, so we're stuck with playing the crummy hand I've dealt us.""How could you have gotten us into this mess?" I demanded."I've asked myself that a million times," Dad said quietly. "I'd like to think I was being a responsible citizen. That's what I've tried to tell myself for the past twelve months. The real truth is, I wanted to be a hero. As a kid I was one of those wimps other kids beat up on, and I only survived my teens because Max looked out for me. I was grateful for that, but it didn't do much for my ego. I met your mother when I was working at a shop at a ski resort, and she was there on vacation with her college roommate. Her friend was into partying, and your mother wasn't, so she started hanging out with me in the evenings. We fell in love, and I talked her into eloping. When her parents found out what we'd done, they nearly disowned her.""But wasn't it Grandpa Clyde who got you your job?" I asked."Yes, he eventually rallied round and took care of us. Clyde didn't want his daughter married to a ski b.u.m, and he had some sort of connections at Southern Skyways. Later he pulled some strings to have me made manager, and he and Lorelei bought us our home in Norwood. Then, out of the blue, your mother's career took off like a skyrocket, and I was left riding along on everybody's coattails. When Max came up with this chance for me to achieve something-" He paused. "I don't know why I'm bothering to explain this. The bottom line is that I wound up doing something stupid. That can't be changed, so we've just got to make the best of it.""Talking mice aren't my idea of fun," I said."What is, then?" Dad asked patiently. "I'm willing to negotiate. Where would you rather go? Cypress Gardens isn't far. Or we could drive over to the beach at Sarasota."101.He was trying so hard to please me that I felt guilty. I was struck by the sudden memory of a playful man with a gentle face, who had held me on his lap and told me stories at bedtime. If he saw I was becoming frightened by the violent parts, he would change the endings so everything came out as I wanted, with the three little pigs and the wolf eating dinner together and the Billy Goats Gruff playing games with the troll in the pasture. In other areas of life, however, he was powerless. There was no way he could alter our real-life story.

"I guess Disney World might be fun at that," I said softly, ashamed of myself for my earlier reaction. "Who are you going to get to 'un things at Zip-Pic?"

"n.o.body, and I'm not going to worry about it," Dad told me. "n.o.body let any film for processing yesterday. It's little wonder the business was up for grabs; the previous owner probably died of starvation. But not to worry, the program will continue to take care of us. Tom Geist drove over last night and brought us more money."

He left the room, and I got out of bed and got dressed. Then, after a hirried breakfast, we set off for Disney World.

When we first got into the car we were like a troupe of actors playing the parts of a family on a carefree vacation trip. It was obvious my parents had talked things over and made a studied decision to make the excursion a happy one. They both seemed chipper and cheerful, chatting amicably as we drove, and appeared to be looking forward to the day's activities. Jason, who had not been awake to witness the scene the evening before, must somehow have absorbed the vibes that preceded it, for he seemed bewildered by the change in the enotional atmosphere and kept glancing back and forth between Dad and Mother as though he was trying to figure out what was different about them. Soon, though, he appeared to relax and accept the situation at face value, and before a half hour had pa.s.sed he was bouncing up and102.

103.down on the seat, asking every mile or two if we were almost there yet.In an effort to calm him down, Mother suggested we play word games, so we played Twenty Questions and Ghost and a game where you try to find all the letters of the alphabet on road signs. The closer we got to Orlando, the more signs there were, and before we had reached the outskirts of the city we had even managed to find the elusive q on a billboard that advertised a motel with queen-size beds.The game had just ended with the z in La-Z-Boy Furniture when we pa.s.sed a hedge shaped like the Seven Dwarfs on parade, and Dad started singing "Whistle While You Work." After a moment Mother began to sing with him, her soft, sweet voice blending easily with his strong one. It had been so long since I'd heard my parents sing together that I had forgotten how good they could sound when they harmonized.They finished one Disney song and went on to another, extending the medley to include "Someday My Prince Will Come" and "When You Wish Upon a Star." Then they did a rendition of "It's a Small, Small World," and Jason and I joined in on the chorus. After that we sang the Mickey Mouse Club song, with Jason inserting "See you real soon? Why? Because I like you!" in appropriate spots. We continued getting louder and more rambunctious until by the time we pulled into the parking area outside the gigantic amus.e.m.e.nt park we had become what we had started out by only pretending to be, a lighthearted family having a wonderful time together."There it is! There's Disney World, just like on television!" Jason cried ecstatically as the golden spires of Cinderella's castle came into view. When he caught sight of a huge Donald Duck ambling along with a cl.u.s.ter of balloons in its hand, it was all I could do to restrain him from throwing open the car door and setting out at a run across the parking lot.Despite my initial reservations about a world filled with animated creatures, the Enchanted Kingdom did, indeed, turn out to be enchanting. When we stepped through the magical gates, dreams became reality and reality, dreams, and all the stress of the past few months evaporated. The Pirates of the Caribbean fired their cannons with gusto, but no one was hurt; ghosts danced in the spooky ballroom of the Haunted Mansion, but no one was frightened. My parents and brother and I worked our way from Frontier Land all the way to Tomorrow Land, humming along with singing bears, cruising a river on Tom Sawyer's raft, gliding beneath the ocean in a miniature submarine, all of us acting like children on a holiday.

It was almost two when we finally sat down to lunch at a table overlooking a swan-studded lake and began to discuss how to spend the remainder of the day.

"What do you say we go over to Epcot?" Dad suggested. "We can spend the afternoon looking at the exhibits there and then have dinner at one of the foreign restaurants."

"We can't leave yet! We only just got here!" cried Jason. "I haven't even been on the Jungle Cruise!"

"Your mother wants to see the 3-D movie," said Dad. "You'll like that, son, it's supposed to contain some incredible effects. Epcot should be a great educational experience."

"I don't want to get educated!'' Jason insisted stubbornly. "I want to go on a boat and ride in a teacup."

"I'll stay and keep an eye on him," I offered, mellowed out by all the morning activity. "Why don't the two of you go on to Epcot? You haven't done anything alone together in ages."

"Are you sure you want to do that?" asked Mother. "There are so many things to see there, it seems dreadful to come all this distance only to miss them."

"Let the kids stay here if they want to," Dad said easily. "It's not as though we'll never be coming back. The point of the day is for all of us to enjoy ourselves, and if Jason's idea104.

of joy is to make himself sick in a spinning teacup, so be it." He turned to me. "Let's meet at the gate at six. Then we'll stop somewhere for dinner before we head home."Predictably, the instant our parents were out of sight and earshot, Jason burst into a spell of hyperactivity, jumping around like a frenzied cricket and demanding to go on all the rides Mother had forbidden because she considered them too stimulating. He also somehow managed to take out his contacts. One minute he was Jason, with two brown eyes-the next, he was Bram, with one brown eye and one green one."Go into the rest room and put those back in," I told him. "You know you're not supposed to keep taking them out. You weren't wearing them when Larry came over last night, and he noticed your eyes and commented on them.""I hate wearing contacts," Jason whimpered pathetically. "How can I have a good time if my eyes feel cruddy?"We finally agreed on a compromise, and I bought him Mickey Mouse sungla.s.ses, which he promised to wear until we were back in the car. With those in place, he went das.h.i.+ng off like a small tornado, and from that moment on my time was devoted to following him from one wild ride to another and wis.h.i.+ng that it was possible to keep him on a leash.The afternoon crowds were heavier than those in the morning, and the heat of the day kept increasing as the hours pa.s.sed. By late afternoon I gladly would have settled myself on a bench by the lake and remained there, people-watching, until time to meet our parents. That was impossible, of course, with a pint-sized dynamo to keep track of, so I trotted along in the churning wake of my brother, wondering how I could have been crazy enough to have volunteered to be his keeper.I was standing wearily at the foot of one of the rides, sipping a c.o.ke and watching Jason whirl dizzily around in a teacup, when suddenly I heard someone call out "April?"

105.Instinctively I started to turn in the direction of the voice, and then got a grip on my reflexes and held myself rigid. It had to be a coincidence, I a.s.sured myself, struggling to still the pounding of my heart. April is not a common name, but it isn't unique. In a complex the size of Disney World, overflowing with summer visitors, it would have been strange if there hadn't been more than one April.That comforting thought was dispelled when the voice called "April?" once again, and then, to my utter horror, "April Corrigan?"Hearing the name in its entirety was so unexpected that for a moment the shock of it nailed me to the ground. Then self-preservation took over, and with a hasty glance to rea.s.sure myself that Jason was safe in his cup and still wearing his gla.s.ses, I began to walk rapidly away from the Alice in Wonderland ride as though I had just remembered important business elsewhere."April! April, wait up! April, it's Jodi!"The voice clicked into place, suddenly dreadfully familiar. I increased my pace until I was almost running, ducking and dodging, plowing a path through the crowd, shoving my way past people standing in line to get into s.p.a.ce Mountain, and nearly knocking over an elderly woman with a white-tipped cane who had not been able to see me rus.h.i.+ng toward her. For a moment I thought the blind woman would be my salvation, for she started thrusting the cane out defensively, first on one side and then on the other, inadvertently blocking the path of the people behind me. Ironically, then, I found that my own path was blocked as well, for a gigantic Pluto, surrounded by a circle of children, seemed to materialize out of nowhere, taking up not only the walkway directly in front of me, but enough s.p.a.ce on either side so I was stopped in my tracks."April!" The voice was upon me now, and a hand clamped down on my arm. "April, didn't you hear me? I've been screaming my lungs out! I was sure it had to be you the 106.

moment I saw you, even from the back with that new short haircut!"Reluctantly, I allowed myself to be spun around and embraced by my tennis partner, Jodi Simmons.So much had changed in my life in the weeks since I'd seen her that it startled me to find her exactly as she'd always been. Her eyes were bright with pleasure at having found me, and her nice, wide mouth looked as though it would never stop smiling. In contrast I suddenly felt a million years old, the last person on earth who belonged in Happily-Ever-After Land."I just can't believe this!" cried Jodi. "It's so great to see you! Are you here by yourself? April, what are you doing here?""The same thing you are," I told her, keeping my tone light. "I'm pretending to be ten years old again. This has to be the most fabulous place in the world.""I can't believe it!" Jodi repeated, continuing to cling to my arm as though she were afraid I would disappear if she let go of me. "The last thing I ever expected was to run into you here! Do you have any idea how worried we've all been? Sherry said you were called to the counselor's office, and from that point on no one ever saw you again!""My parents decided they needed a vacation," I said. Even to my ears the statement sounded ridiculous.Apparently it had the same effect upon Jodi, for she raised one eyebrow in an expression of disbelief."Oh, come on!" she exclaimed. "Who do you think you're kidding? n.o.body goes on vacation two weeks before finals! Even your grandmother doesn't know where you are. I stopped by her condo one day to drop off your tennis racket, and she told me she didn't even have an address to s.h.i.+p it to.""There's a reason for that," I said, "but I'm not free to talk about it. How is everything back home? Did the tennis team do well in the state compet.i.tion?"

107."State was a disaster," said Jodi. "Since you weren't there, I had to play with Cynthia, and you know what a dud she is at the net. We lost the first round of doubles, and that threw my game off so badly that I ended up not making it to finals in singles either. But enough about me, I want to know about you. You'll be back before school starts, won't you?"

"No, but I'll be there for the second semester," I said. "Tell Coach Malloy to hold a place for me on the team. Look, Jodi, it's been wonderful seeing you, but I've got to split. I'm supposed to be meeting my brother at the Haunted Mansion."

"But you can't run off without filling me in on what happened!" Jodi protested. "Everybody's going to freak out when I tell them I saw you. It's been like you just disappeared off the face of the earth! I saw Sherry and Steve at Ashley Steinmetz's pool party last weekend, and they said neither one of them had heard one word from you. There are all sorts of far-out rumors going around, like you had to move because your dad testified in that drug case."

"Sherry and Steve were at the Ashley's party together?" I asked her. "You don't mean-you can't mean-the two of them are dating!"

"Oh, just off and on," said Jodi, obviously embarra.s.sed. "You know how it is with guys when their girlfriends take off somewhere. I'm sure it doesn't mean anything, so don't let it bother you. Steve will be leaving for college in a few weeks anyway, and of course you'll be back to go to the Christmas parties with him."

"Of course," I said. "I wouldn't miss the bash at Sherry's house, I had such a wonderful time at that party last year."

Without further comment, I jerked my sleeve from her fingers and set off at a run in the direction of the Haunted Mansion. I must have crashed into a dozen people on my headlong flight into nowhere, for I carried no cane to warn them I was blinded by tears.

12.

My parents could tell I'd been crying when we met at the gate. When I told them about meeting Jodi, they both turned pale, and the carefree mood of the day was quickly dissipated.Immediately, Dad asked me, "What did you tell her?""Nothing," I said defensively. "I didn't tell her anything.""You must have said something. You couldn't have stood there in silence. Didn't she even ask you where we're living?""Of course, but I didn't give anything away," I said. "I didn't even say we were living in Florida. I told her we were vacationing at Disney World. For all she knows we could have flown in from Alaska.""It sounds as though you handled it well," said Mother."This was all my fault," said Dad. "We never should have come here. I don't know what possessed me to suggest such a thing. Disney World is the biggest vacation resort on the 109.whole East Coast. How could we not have run into somebody we knew here?"

"Jodi said Steve and Sherry are dating," I said miserably.

"So that's why you've been crying!" Mother put her arms around me. "I can see why you're upset, but I'm sure it doesn't mean anything. Steve is bound to be lonely and miss you, and since Sherry is your best friend, it probably makes him feel closer to you to be with her."

"There are other fish in the sea," Dad said unfeelingly. "Adolescent romance is the least of our problems."

"How can you be so insensitive!" exclaimed Mother. "It's natural for a girl to feel hurt when something like this happens."

"It's time Val grew up and got her priorities in order," said Dad. "If she wants to date, there are teenage boys in Grove City."

"You're a fine one to talk about setting priorities," snapped Mother. "Where were your priorities when you put all our lives on hold so you could play James Bond?" By the time we were in the car, the two of them had settled into stony silence, and we drove straight back to Grove City without stopping for dinner.

The phone was ringing when we entered the house. It was Larry.

"Where have you been?" he demanded. "I've been calling all day."

"We just got back from Disney World," I told him.

"I thought we were going to the beach today," he said accusingly. "What made you decide to throw me over for Pluto?"

"I didn't," I said. "Dad sprang this trip on me this morning. Besides, our plan to go to the beach wasn't definite. I told you I had to check it out with my folks."

"And / told you I'd call in the morning," said Larry. "When a girl knows I'm going to call her, I expect her to be there. I'm not a guy who appreciates being stood up."110.

The surliness of his voice was more than I could handle. The day had been upsetting enough without this added unpleasantness. "/ don't appreciate being snarled at!" I exploded. When I heard him draw in a breath to fire back a retort, I did something I'd never done to anyone before-I hung up on him.The discovery that Steve was dating Sherry was so devastating that for most of the week that followed I had no energy for anything. Without my regular tennis games to get me up and moving, I continued to lie in bed long past my usual rising time, listening to the rest of the house come to life on the far side of my bedroom walls. If I blocked everything else from my mind and concentrated on the surface of the wall across from me, the mapwork of cracks in the plaster looked like a spider web, and I found that if I stared at it long enough, I could even make out the shape of a fly ensnared in it. Gazing up at the ceiling was just as depressing. Rain had leaked through the roof to form puddles in the attic, and the stain on the plaster above me grew larger with each rainfall. It had spread so far that a portion was over my bed, and I kept expecting something dark and nasty to leak down on me. My bedroom became a symbol of our life in Grove City, and by the time I dragged myself out to face what was left of the morning, I was so immersed in self-pity that I had no desire to go anywhere or do anything.It was Kim who jolted me to life and started me functioning again. Four days after the Disney World trip, she phoned me."I just thought I'd call and check in with you," she said awkwardly. "Larry's plenty freaked out about your breakup.""Our breakup?" I exclaimed. "What do you mean, our breakup? You can't break up with somebody unless you've been dating. All Larry and I had going between us were tennis b.a.l.l.s.""That's not the way he wanted it, though," Kim told me.

111."He thinks you're cool, and he was planning to start going out with you. You've got to understand how it is with Larry. He's used to having the local girls fall all over him, and he takes it as a put-down when somebody doesn't."

"Poor baby," I said sarcastically. "Did he ask you to tell me that?"

"Not exactly," said Kim, "but he did hint around about it. What he wants me to do is find out if you're still p.i.s.sed off at him or whether, if he was to call you, you'd want to start seeing him again."

"Maybe if he apologized-'

"That's not his style. Larry never apologizes to anybody for anything."

The day was hot, and it hadn't rained for a week, so I knew the courts at the school would be dry and hard. Dad was at Zip-Pic, Mother was busy at the typewriter, and Jason and his friends were holed up in their hideout, thumping around in the attic like a herd of elephants. My muscles felt tight from lack of exercise, and the thought of a game of tennis was irresistible.

"Tell him to call me," I said. "I shouldn't have hung up on him. I was feeling rotten that evening and overreacted." Princess April would never have made such a statement, but Valerie Weber was desperate with loneliness and boredom.

Either Kim called Larry immediately, or he'd been standing there at her elbow when she made her call to me, because less than five minutes later he was on the phone. As Kim had predicted, he didn't apologize, which irritated me so much that I didn't either. Neither of us referred to the last conversation we'd had, we just made a date to play tennis at seven the next morning. After that we swung naturally back into our old routine, and our daily morning tennis games became the norm again. We also started playing in the early evening after the sun had dropped below the112.

treeline and the blazing afternoon heat had lifted from the courts.One evening, after playing three sets at twilight, we stopped for c.o.kes at McDonald's and found ourselves in line behind Fran and Amy, two of the girls I'd met at the vampire movie. I was worried at first that they might be the girls from the rest room, but as soon as we started talking, I knew that their voices weren't the ones that I'd heard there. We ended up sharing a table, and in the course of conversation, Amy invited us to a party she was having on Sat.u.r.day.I realized the invitation was directed primarily at Larry, but he turned to me and asked, "Are you busy that night?" When I said no, he flashed me that c.o.c.ky grin of his. "Great," he said. "I'll pick you up around eight, then."So once again I was committed to a formal date with him. This time, though, I didn't feel guilty about it. Steve wasn't sitting at home by himself every evening, and if he could date Sherry for parties, then I could date Larry. Besides, it wasn't as though this would ever get serious. There had once been a time when I'd been attracted by the burly, muscle-man type, but my taste in boys had changed since I'd started dating Steve, and Larry's gigantic ego was a definite turnoff. Still, I felt sure he'd be fun to be with at a party, and fun was something I very much needed.I went to that party determined to have a good time. What I ended up doing instead was talking too much. I blame myself, but I also blame the punch. Amy's parents were out of town, and she and Fran and their boyfriends had created a frothy concoction they'd christened "Suicide." I woke up the following morning with a skull-splitting headache and a tongue that was stuck to the roof of my mouth with invisible Velcro.The punch was deceptive because it tasted like fruit juice, but I have to admit I knew there was something else in it, and I drank it because I wanted to feel looser and happier. When Larry and I first got to the party I was uptight and 113.nervous, surrounded by so many strangers who had known each other since kindergarten. To make things worse, Sandi was there, encircled by a tight group of buddies who kept glaring at me and whispering to each other and making me feel more and more uncomfortable. After two or three swallows of punch I started to feel better. Tension ran out of me the way it did after a hard game of tennis, and my artificial smile began to lose its rigidity. Then Amy put on some records, and Larry whipped me out onto the dance floor, and within a couple of minutes the room was a disco. When we finally took a break, we were both perspiring, and my heart was pounding so hard that my ears were ringing. Larry thrust another cup of "Suicide" into my hand, and I gulped down the tangy liquid gratefully.

Sometime later I found myself in the yard, half sitting, half lying on one of those aluminum chaises with plastic strips that cut into your back like a waffle iron. The marvelous thing was that Steve was there beside me. My eyes were closed, and I knew I was probably dreaming, but if I was, I had no desire to wake up. Steve's arms were tight around me, and he was kissing my face and my neck and was whispering all sorts of beautiful things in my ear.