Don't Look Behind You Part 5

"Baby," he whispered. "Val-" His mouth came down hard on mine, and his hands, which had worked their way inside the back of my blouse, were fumbling awkwardly around with the hooks on my bra. The lips that were pressed to mine had a foreign taste to them, and abruptly the wonderful dream gave way to reality. This wasn't the way Steve acted, and Steve didn't call me Val.

"Let go of me, Larry," I said, trying to wriggle out from under him.

"Come on, baby, don't play games with me," Larry muttered huskily. "We've seen each other almost every day for a month now. If you didn't like me, you wouldn't be spending so much time with me."

"You don't understand," I said. "I already have a boy-114.

friend back in Virginia. I wouldn't feel right making out with somebody else."There was a moment of silence.Then Larry said, "Virginia? I heard you tell Abby you'd never even been there.""I mean North Carolina," I said. "I've had too much punch."Larry pulled his arms out from under my back and straightened up on the chaise to sit looking down at me. His face was hidden by shadow, but mine was raised to the sky and illuminated by moonlight, and I felt a rush of terror at what he might see there."I didn't mean-" I began."Yes, I think you did mean," Larry said quietly. "Abby may be a pill, but the kid's not stupid. You did sit next to her on the plane coming down here. She knew you were from Virginia, because you told her so.""What does it matter?" I said. "Who cares where I come from? It doesn't make any difference if it's Durham or Norwood.""The difference is that you lied about it," said Larry. "Abby said you told her your name was April. Why did you lie to Kim and me and say it was Valerie?""Because it is!" I insisted. "My name is Valerie! The only thing I lied about was coming from Durham!" The sour taste of punch surged up into my throat, and I swallowed hard to keep it from rising farther. "I don't feel good. Please, Larry, I want to go home.""All right," said Larry. "But don't expect this to be the end of it. I'll take you home, but I want to know what's going on. I don't like being lied to and made a fool of."To my relief, he didn't try to interrogate me during the drive, but once he had brought the car to a stop in our driveway, he placed his hand on my arm to keep me from getting out."What are you doing here in Grove City?" he asked me.

115."Why did your family move here in the first place? It's not as though you had relatives here, and it certainly couldn't have been so your dad could buy Zip-Pic." He paused, and when I didn't respond, he continued. "Is your last name really Weber? I bet it isn't."

"Of course it is!" I shot back at him defiantly. "We moved here because we were having financial problems. The business my father owned back home went under, and he wanted to go somewhere else and make a fresh start."

"You mean he went bankrupt?" asked Larry.

"No, not exactly."

"n.o.body comes to Grove City to seek his fortune. What's he running away from, trouble with the law? Embezzlement, maybe, or income tax evasion? A man doesn't change his name without a good reason."

"You've got everything wrong," I said angrily. "My dad's no criminal. You don't have any right to cross-examine me, and I don't have to tell you anything I don't want to." I jerked away from his hand and got out of the car. The headlights paved a straight, bright path to the porch, and I made it nearly that far before I threw up.

The next morning I was so sick I didn't get up. I let Mother think I was coming down with stomach flu and lay in bed with a pillow pressed over my eyes, cursing myself for the stupid things I had said and trying to convince myself that, since Larry, too, had been swigging down punch, he might not remember the whole of our conversation.

As the day dragged by, my hangover gradually lessened, although I couldn't believe I would ever feel good again. By midafternoon I was able to stagger to the shower, where I stood, shaky and rubber-kneed, under a pounding cascade of water and vowed I would spend the rest of my life as a teetotaler. I was able to force down some soup and toast for dinner, and by eight that night I was flat on my back in bed again, trying to read and feeling twice as drained and ex-116.

hausted as I would if I'd spent the day in productive activity.I was just getting ready to turn off the bedside lamp when there was a rap on the door and my father came in with a handful of fifty-dollar bills."These are yours," he said as he placed them on the bureau top. "Tom came over tonight to bring us money. He also came to tell us that Loftin was killed today.""Loftin was killed!" I repeated in shocked bewilderment. "How can that be? I thought he was locked up in prison.""He was released on bail when his lawyer filed for an appeal," Dad said. "According to Tom, he was mowing his lawn this morning when a car drove by and somebody leaned out and shot him. He died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.""I don't understand," I said. "Why would anybody kill him? It's not as though he had been working as a spy for the government.""I can only guess that the dealers he serviced were afraid the appeal would go through and there would be a retrial," said Dad. "Given a second chance to turn state's evidence, Loftin might have been more receptive to the idea of plea bargaining.""Then it's over!" The statement sounded so wonderful, I said it again. "It's over-does that mean we can go home now?"My father didn't respond to that question directly. Instead, he said, "Loftin wasn't the one who hired Vamp. At the time Jim Peterson was killed, he was still in prison. Loftin supplied a nationwide network of dealers, and they were the ones responsible for hiring a hitman. People like that don't think twice about disposing of stool pigeons, and they're sure to consider me as great a threat as Loftin.""But, you aren't," I said, and then reconsidered the statement as something I'd heard Max say leapt into my mind.

117.He's knocking over the first in a line of dominoes. "Could you really expose these people and testify against them?"

"No," Dad said. "I was never given their names, but the dealers have no way of knowing that, so I'm high on their hit list."

I motioned toward the pile of bills on the bureau. "What's all this for? Why are you giving me money?"

"It's reimburs.e.m.e.nt for your bedroom furniture," Dad told me. "Everything sold for a fraction of what it was worth, but I guess we ought to be grateful to end up with this much. I'm sure Max did his best with the sale of the house, but with real estate values down, we took a loss on that too."

"The house!" I exclaimed. "Max sold our house out from under us? Where are we going to live when we go back?"

"We'll play it by ear," said Dad. "We'll see how it goes. Right now we need the money more than the house. There's no way I'll ever be able to make a living from Zip-Pic, and I don't know how long the program will continue to pick up the tab for us."

"You're making it sound like we're going to be stuck here forever!" Breathlessly I waited to hear a denial. When that didn't come, I regarded him with horror. "Are you trying to tell me we're not going back at all?"

"We'll have to play it by ear," Dad said again.

"You made me believe we were going to be back by Christmas!"

"I never told you that. You just wanted to believe it. It's possible we may be able to go back someday. There's no way of knowing what the situation will be like a few years from now. Right now, what's important is that we're safe and together. As long as we have each other, we can get along anywhere."

"But this is the year I have to apply to Duke!"

"Duke's out," said Dad. "Too many of your cla.s.smates are going there, and they'll know you as April Corrigan, not118.

Valerie Weber. There's a nice little college in Sarasota called New College. I'm sure you won't have any trouble getting accepted there."I opened my mouth to object, but he wouldn't listen."Don't say it," he told me brusquely. "I don't want to hear it. I've just finished having this same conversation with your mother. She's taking it hard and is putting the blame on Max. I just can't deal with another hysterical scene right now."He left the room, and I lay there, trembling with fury and feeling as though the world had fallen out from under me. It was so unfair! I hadn't done anything to deserve this! And all this time I'd believed our exile was temporary! Dad said the important thing was the fact that our family was together and safe, but I didn't even feel that I had a family anymore. All the warmth and solidity was gone from our lives, and my parents had changed so much that I hardly knew them. The only thing in the world I wanted was to go home. There had to be some way out of this nightmare!

13.

I awoke the next morning knowing what I was going to do. It was as if somehow during the night the plan had materialized of its own accord. I'd known Mother to say that at times that happened to her when she was having a difficult time with one of her novels. She would go to bed with the problem churning in her brain and when she woke up in the morning she would know instinctively how to solve it.

That was how it was with me that morning in August when I awoke to see the money lying on the bureau. Despite its having sold for less than it was worth, I knew the antique furniture had been valuable. Now, when I counted the money, I found there was over four hundred dollars, far more than I needed for a one-way plane ticket to Norwood.

My preference, of course, would have been to approach my parents directly and tell them I wanted to go home and live with my grandmother. I knew, though, this was something they would not sanction. From what Dad had said, he was determined to keep us together no matter how miserable the circ.u.mstances, and Mother, for her part, would not120.

want me living with Lorelei, even if it were just for my final year of high school. She and her mother had different opinions about everything. Mother thought Lorelei's life-style was superficial and shallow, while Lorelei couldn't understand why Mother was so reclusive. My mother had always felt threatened by my closeness to my grandmother, as though she were afraid her value system might rub off on me.So, although I would have liked to have acted more honorably, I knew I would have to put my plan into effect without my parents' consent and trust that they loved me enough to understand and forgive me.I lay in bed for an hour, working out the details, as the early morning sunlight slowly lifted, moving the leaf shadows into new positions on the cracked surface of the wall across from the window. Getting to Norwood would not be a problem in itself. The risk was in having my parents get wind of what I was planning and intercept me at the Sara-sota Airport before my plane took off. Ideally, it would be best if they didn't find out I had left until I was at Lorelei's condo. I decided the best thing to do would be to set myself up with an alibi, not just for the day I was leaving, but for the next day as well.I accomplished that by asking Mother if I could spend the weekend at Kim's while her parents were visiting relatives in Miami."Kim doesn't want to go with them, but her folks aren't willing to leave her at home by herself," I said.There had been a time when I could not have lied to my mother; in fact, I had never been comfortable lying to anyone. But in the past three months I had become practiced in deception, and the words slipped out of my mouth sounding easy and natural.As I had expected, Mother was agreeable."It's nice you're finding some girlfriends here," she told 121.me. The second half of the statement remained unspoken- because we're going to be here for a very long time.

The rest of the arrangements fell into place with equal ease. Since Mother was home all day, I couldn't call the airport from the house, so I walked to town and made plane reservations from a pay phone. It was a relief to find fate was working in my favor, and I was able to book a seat on a flight on Eastern that left Sarasota the next afternoon.

That night I had a difficult time eating dinner. Despite the scene they'd been through the previous evening, my parents were making an effort to be pleasant and communicative. Somehow that made it harder than if they had been cold to each other, because the lack of hostility reminded me of happier times. As I sat there, listening to their familiar voices making everyday conversation, a core of loneliness twisted deep inside me, and I knew I was going to miss my family terribly. Still, I reminded myself, it wouldn't be forever. The time would have to come when they would return to Virginia, and meanwhile I would know where they were and could write to them, even though they couldn't respond to my letters.

Although I was no longer rising at dawn to play tennis, I was up the next morning in time to have breakfast with my father and to give him a good-bye hug as he left for work.

He seemed pleased and surprised at the unaccustomed display of affection. "Have a nice day, honey," he said warmly. "I'll see you tonight."

"I'm going to be spending the weekend at Kim's," I reminded him.

"That's right, I forgot," Dad said. "Well, you girls behave yourselves. Don't throw any wild parties just because Kim's parents are gone." He smiled to let me know he was only joking, and I was glad he didn't know about the past weekend.

After breakfast I went to my room and packed my overnight bag, cramming it as full as I could with clothes and122.

possessions. I had left a closetful of clothes behind in Norwood, but I didn't know whether or not they would still be there. It was painful to think that the lovely formal I'd never worn might have been given to Goodwill or consigned to a secondhand store, but since our house and furniture had been sold, it was possible our personal possessions had been also.It was midmorning when I finally came into the kitchen to find Mother, as usual, seated at the table, typing."I thought you told Dad you wouldn't submit that," I said."I won't, but I have to finish it anyway," said Mother. "I can't seem to make myself stop in the middle and leave it hanging. My ident.i.ty is all tied up with writing. I guess I'm not a very adaptable person." She gestured toward my suitcase. "You don't want to carry that all the way to Kim's house. Why don't you leave it for Dad to bring over later?""It's not heavy," I said, "and I have my tennis stuff in it. If it doesn't rain, we might want to bat some b.a.l.l.s around.""In the afternoon heat?" exclaimed Mother. "You kids must be crazy! At least wear a hat so you won't keel over from sunstroke."How could I deceive somebody who trusted me so totally? For a moment I didn't think I'd be able to go through with it. Then I thought about what she'd said about needing her own ident.i.ty and realized the statement applied to me as well. I was April Corrigan, Steve's girlfriend, the "princess" of Springside Academy, the star of their tennis team, a girl who was guaranteed acceptance by Duke because her mother and grandmother both had gone there. I was not Valerie Weber, whose hobby it was to "bat b.a.l.l.s around," and whose only opportunity for higher education was at a school with the unlikely name of New College.So I swallowed my guilt, kissed Mother good-bye, and left. Jason and his two friends were out in the yard, attempting to get a basketball through a hoop that Dad had 123.attached to a beam at the front of the carport. When he saw me come out with my suitcase, he paused with the ball in his hands and regarded me with inquiring brown eyes.

"Looks like you're going on a mini-vay," he speculated.

"I'm going to spend the weekend at Kim's," I told him.

"I forgot to tell you, your boyfriend called," said Jason. "It was yesterday while you were out, and he said he'd call back."

"Larry Bushnell is not my boyfriend," I said firmly. "He's an egocentric creep, and I never want to see him again."

I continued on down the driveway to the point where it curved away from the trees, and then I stopped and turned to look back at the house. A boy jumped into the air and sank a basket, and I realized with a sense of shock that it was Jason. In the short time since we'd left Norwood my brother had changed. He'd lost his baby look and become taller and rangier. What would he be like the next time I saw him?

Impulsively I set down the suitcase and ran back up the length of the driveway to catch him up in a tight, fierce hug.

"What's that for?" Jason demanded in embarra.s.sment.

"Just because," I said.

"Because why?"

"Because I like you!"

"That's from the Mickey Mouse Club song," he explained to his friends as he struggled manfully to squirm out of my embrace. "My sister's in a weird mood. She's not usually this goofy."

The hike into town was one I had become accustomed to, but I wasn't used to being weighed down by a suitcase. The overnight bag was heavier than I had been willing to admit to Mother, and I kept having to stop and switch it from one hand to the other to give my arms alternating rest periods. Even so, I reached the filling station on Main Street in plenty of time to intercept the cross-state bus. An hour later124.

125.I arrived at the Sarasota bus terminal, where I was able to get a taxi to the airport.I checked in at the Eastern desk to get my seat a.s.signment and pay for my ticket and then headed for the line of telephones along the far wall. I'd not made any out-of-state calls from Grove City for fear there might be some way they could be traced back to us. Now I found my hand shaking as I dialed Steve's number and stood waiting impatiently as the phone rang.The voice that answered was not the one I had hoped for."h.e.l.lo, Billy," I said. "May I speak to Steve, please?""He's not here right now," Steve's little brother informed me. "He's going to be back for dinner though. Is this Sherry?""No," I said. "This isn't Sherry, it's April.""April?" Billy exclaimed excitedly. "Where are you calling from? Steve said you moved and he didn't know where you went.""I did move, but I'm on my way back," I told him. "I'm getting in at the airport at six tonight, and if he can, I'd like Steve to meet my plane. Do you have something to write with so I can give you the flight number?""I'll go find a pencil," said Billy, dropping the receiver.His search for a pencil seemed to take an eternity, and I had to keep depositing coins to keep the line open. Finally he was back again, and I gave him the information and had him repeat it back to me to make sure he had written it down correctly.I pressed the hook, released it, and dialed again. This time the phone rang for such an extended period that I was beginning to think my grandmother wasn't home. This wouldn't have been surprising, since it was a Sat.u.r.day afternoon, a time when she often played bridge with friends or attended some social function at the Norwood Country Club.I was just getting ready to hang up when the phone was answered, but instead of a friendly voice there was silence."h.e.l.lo?" I ventured tentatively. "h.e.l.lo, is that Lorelei?""April?" My grandmother's voice sounded strained and unnatural. "Why are you calling here? Has something happened?"It was far from the enthusiastic greeting I had expected."No, everything's fine," I said. "Nothing's happened to anybody.""Then what are you calling here for?" Lorelei asked accusingly. "Even your mother isn't allowed to phone me. Whatever you do, don't tell me where you are. There's always a chance there may be a tap on the line.""I won't tell you anything," I said, "and I'm calling from a pay phone. Lorelei, I'm coming home. I'm flying in this evening. I want to live with you until I finish high school and then go on to Duke like we always planned I would.""That's a poor idea," said Lorelei. "What do your parents say? I can't believe your mother would let you come here.""It's my idea, not theirs," I confessed reluctantly. "In fact, they haven't even discovered I've left yet. There's a boy, Larry Bushnell, that I play tennis with, and I've told my folks I'm spending the weekend at his cousin's house.""Turn straight around and go back to your parents," Lorelei told me. "I don't want you coming here, and I don't want you calling again. It isn't safe. Some terrible things have happened. You probably don't know this, but Richard Loftin has been murdered.""Dad told me," I said. "That has nothing to do with me, though. Mr. Loftin knew the ident.i.ties of some drug dealers, and they were afraid his testimony was going to incriminate them. I'm not a threat to anybody, I'm just a teenager. All I want is to come home to finish high school, and after that-"I was interrupted by the voice of the long distance opera- 126.

tor saying my time was up and asking me to deposit more coins. Since my call to Billy Chandler had depleted my supply of change, I knew I had to end the conversation quickly."I am coming home," I said. "You can't talk me out of it. I hope you'll let me live with you, but if you won't, then maybe I can board with one of my school friends."Without waiting for a response, I hung up the phone. I spent the rest of the time before my flight was called writing a letter to my parents. In it I explained what I was doing and told them that I loved them and was going to miss them but couldn't continue living like a criminal in hiding. I bought a stamp in the airport gift shop and dropped the envelope into a mailbox in the lobby before going out to the gate to board the plane.On this flight I was lucky enough to have a silent seat-mate. I sat next to the window, and the man next to me was dressed in a business suit and carried a briefcase. He spent the whole flight engrossed in paperwork, while I sat looking out the window at clouds that billowed beneath the plane like quilted padding on an innerspring mattress and tried to imagine my parents' reaction to my letter. If I'd timed things right, it would arrive on Monday morning at approximately the time I was expected to return from Kim's house. My mother would receive it and would phone my father. I pictured the two of them running the gamut of emotions from shock, to anger, to disappointment, and finally-I hoped-to understanding and acceptance.The stewardess brought around dinner trays, and I took one and nibbled at the roll and ate some of the salad. My throat felt so constricted it was difficult to swallow. The closer we got to Norwood, the more keyed-up I became. Lorelei's reaction to my phone call had been an unpleasant shock to me. Her condo was plenty large enough for two people, and she had always encouraged me to come and spend the night with her. Why had she sounded so inhospitable on the telephone? Didn't she want her granddaughter 127.back in her life again? And what about Steve, did he still consider me his girlfriend? What if I got off the plane and he wasn't there to meet me?

The stewardess came up the aisle, collecting the dinner trays, and I handed my plate of food back to her almost untouched. By the time we began our descent into the Norwood Airport, I had worked myself into such a state of apprehension that I could hardly manipulate the clasp on the seat belt.

The plane touched down and taxied up to the gate. Pulling my bag out from under the seat in front of me, I got in line with the rest of the pa.s.sengers as they moved down the aisle and out into the terminal.

A handsome dark-haired boy in a red and white rugby s.h.i.+rt was standing at the side of the ramp.

"April!" he called. "April, I'm over here!"

"Steve!" I cried. "Oh, Steve!" and, letting my suitcase fall to the floor, I rushed to throw myself into his outstretched arms.

14.

"You came!" I exclaimed, burying my face in the hollow where Steve's neck met his collarbone and inhaling the well-remembered odor of warm skin and pine-scented aftershave."Of course I came," he said, hugging me back. "When Billy told me you'd called, I could hardly believe it. I'd just about given up hope of ever seeing you again. When you came down that ramp, I had to look twice to recognize you. I'd never pictured Rapunzel with her beautiful hair cut off." He pushed me gently away so he could look at me. "Solve the mystery for me. Where have you been?""Don't ask," I said. "I'm not allowed to talk about it. We left because of Dad's testimony at the Loftin trial. A man was killed, and we had to go into hiding. It was awful, and I've very glad to be home.""What about your family?" Steve glanced past me, over my shoulder, as though he expected to see them appear on the ramp behind me."I'm here alone," I said. "I'm going to live with my 129.grandmother. At least, I hope Lorelei's going to let me live with her. She wasn't very receptive when I told her I was coming, but I don't think she'll slam the door on me when I land on her doorstep."

"I'm sure she won't," said Steve. "She'd never do that. She was probably too surprised to know what to say. Jodi tried to call her after seeing you at Disney World, but she wasn't ever able to get in touch with her." He picked up my suitcase and, putting his other arm around me, began to walk me back through the terminal toward the lobby. "Everybody here has been worried about you. The way you left was so crazy. When you weren't at the tennis courts that afternoon, I thought we'd just gotten our wires crossed, but that night when I went to your house and found it all locked up with the car still parked in the driveway, I freaked out. That's when I realized that something serious had happened."

"It was all so fast," I said. "We weren't allowed to make phone calls. At first we thought we would only be gone a few days. The days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months. I felt as though I'd been sucked into some sort of time warp."

"I was sure, wherever you'd gone, you'd be back for the prom," Steve said. "Then, when you weren't, I thought you'd resurface for graduation. When I stepped out onto that stage to get my diploma, I kept telling myself you'd come in late and were sitting in the back."

"I wrote you I couldn't be here for that," I reminded him.

"I haven't had a word from you since you left."

His words sent my mind sliding furtively toward a dark pool of secret knowledge, and I hurriedly yanked it back onto safer ground. The fact that Steve hadn't received my letter meant nothing. It could have been lost in the mail, or the stamp might have come unglued, or the ink could have smeared so the address was illegible. Since there hadn't been130.

any return address on the envelope, I wouldn't have gotten it back if it hadn't been delivered."I wrote," I said. "I'm sorry the letter didn't reach you." I paused and then asked casually, "How are things with Sherry?""Just fine," Steve said a little too quickly for comfort. "When Billy gave us your message, she was so excited. At first she wanted to come to the airport with me, but we decided it would be better for her to call you tomorrow.""Sherry was with you when Billy told you I'd called?" I tried to keep it from sounding like an accusation."Well, yes," Steve said uncomfortably. "She'd stopped by the house. She was as happy as I was to learn you were back.""What was she doing at your place? Had you been out together?""A bunch of us had a picnic over at Grant's Park," Steve said. "Rick and Traci, Debbie and Reed, Jodi and Michael-""In other words, it was a couples party," I said, phrasing the question as though it were a statement. "Jodi mentioned that you and Sherry were dating. It sure didn't take you long to find somebody to replace me.""It wasn't like that at all," Steve said defensively. "Sherry and I started hanging out together because we were trying to figure out what had happened to you.""And one thing led to another?" I asked sarcastically, pulling free of the arm he had slung around my shoulders."It wasn't until the For Sale sign went up in your yard that we thought you weren't coming back and we started dating." He put his hand on my arm. "Please don't be mad, April. I'm really happy you're home, and so is Sherry."Out in the parking lot he loaded my suitcase into the backseat of his Honda and opened the door so I could climb in on the pa.s.senger's side. Then he went around and got into the driver's seat. He kept both hands on the wheel as he 131.pulled out of the parking area and made no move to encourage me to snuggle against him. For my own part, I sat rigidly on my side of the car, too hurt and angry to try to make conversation.

"Do you want to stop for something to eat?" Steve asked awkwardly.

"No, I'd like to go straight to Lorelei's," I told him. "I need to find out if she's going to let me stay there."

"If there's any problem, I'm sure you can sleep at Sherry's," Steve said. "No matter what you may think, she's still your friend."

"With a friend like that, I don't need any enemies," I said bitterly. "If I can't spend the night at Lorelei's, I'll crash at Jodi's."

The Golden Ridge Condominiums, where Lorelei had moved after my grandfather died, were a group of colonial-style town houses enclosed by a wrought-iron fence. The security guard was a friendly black man named Pat whom I had come to know well during the five years Lorelei lived there. Now, as Steve brought the car to a stop at the gate, I leaned across him so Pat could see who I was.

"Hi!" I called. "It's me. I'm here to see my grandmother."

I expected him to immediately raise the gate for us, but instead he came out of the guardhouse, gave Steve a long, hard stare, and walked all the way around the car, looking in windows.

He stopped when he came abreast of the window on my side.

"Your grandmother didn't leave word she was expecting company," he said. "I'll have to call for permission to let you through."

"Pat, you've known me since I was twelve!" I exclaimed. "Since when do I have to have special permission to visit here?"

"Things are different now," Pat said. "The manager's132.

clamped down. We don't let people in anymore unless their names are on a guest list. Your grandmother doesn't have anybody's name on her list. She wants me to call and check about every visitor.""I can't believe that," I said. "It's not at all like her.""Like I said, things are different now," Pat repeated patiently.He went back into the gate house, and through the gla.s.s of the security room window I could see him dialing the phone. He spoke briefly, hung up, and came back out."She said I can let you in, but n.o.body else," he said. "She doesn't want you to bring your friend in with you.""Maybe she's in her nightgown or something," said Steve. "I'll wait out here until you find out what the deal is.""I don't think that's necessary," I said. "I'm sure she'll put me up for one night. If I need to make other long-term arrangements, I can do that tomorrow."I got out of the car, and Steve came around to get my bag for me."You must have this thing loaded with bricks," he said with a tentative smile, in a weak attempt to bridge the distance between us."I'm used to the weight," I told him. "I've lugged it around all day. Thanks for meeting my plane. It was beyond the call of duty.""I was glad to do it," said Steve. "It's great that you're back." He leaned down quickly and brushed my cheek with his lips. "If you need anything, just call. You know I still care about you, even if it's not quite the same as it used to be. Things change, and life goes on, and we roll with the punches. I had no way of knowing I was ever going to see you again."I didn't respond to the statement or to the kiss, because I knew if I did I would start to cry. Instead I picked up my suitcase and started up the driveway. When I reached the 133.sidewalk that ran in front of the condos, I turned and glanced back to see if his car was gone yet. It was still at the gate, and Steve was standing beside it. When he saw me looking back, he raised his hand and waved. Blinking back tears, I turned and kept on walking.

Lorelei's condominium was the last in the row, and I had to set my suitcase down twice before I got to it. When I reached it and pressed the buzzer, I was startled to hear a dog begin barking inside. After a moment Lorelei's voice called, "Get back from the door!"

I took a few steps backward to give her a chance to peer out through the peephole, which was something I didn't recall her ever doing before. Then I heard the click of the lock, and the door swung inward, revealing a woman I almost didn't recognize.

"So you came after all," she said. "That's what I expected. You're such a stubborn child, there's just no way to reason with you."

"Lorelei!" I whispered in horror. "Lorelei, what happened?'

"Don't stand there gaping," my grandmother said. "Come in."

The moment I was inside, she shut the door and locked it, while Porky raced around in circles, barking joyfully, hysterical with excitement about seeing me again.

I continued to stare incredulously at my grandmother. Her right arm was in an L-shaped cast that ran from her wrist to her armpit and the whole left side of her face was the yellowish color of a serious bruise in its final stages.

"What happened?" I asked again. "Were you in an accident?"

"It was no accident," said Lorelei. "I did something foolish. I opened my door to a stranger, and this is what happened." She sank down onto the sofa as though her legs were too tired to hold her, and I hurriedly sat down beside134.

her and reached for her hand, bracing myself for what she was going to tell me."A week ago Pat called up from the gate to tell me a delivery man was here with a package," said Lorelei. "I told him to go ahead and send the man up with it. The Marshals Service has had several crates sent over here, so I thought this was just another one of those boxes."The man who arrived was very polite and gentlemanly. He asked me where I wanted him to put the box, and I told him to bring it inside and set it in the closet in the hall, which is where I've been storing your family's personal possessions. Once inside, though, he didn't head for the closet. His whole personality changed, and he suddenly got nasty. He told me he wanted to know where my son-in-law was hiding and if I didn't tell him I was going to be sorry.""Then he wasn't connected with the Marshals Service at all?""Certainly not, but it took me a moment to realize it. As soon as I did, I made a dash for the bedroom. There's a phone extension in there, and I thought if I could get the door locked I could phone down to Pat and tell him I needed help. It was a good idea, and I actually think it might have worked, but I had just come back from a luncheon and was wearing heels. One of them caught on the edge of the carpet, and before I could regain my balance, the man had covered the distance between us and was on top of me. He threw me down, and my head crashed into the door frame. Then he grabbed my wrist and bent my arm up behind me.""Oh, Lorelei, how dreadful!" I breathed. "Did you scream for help?""Of course I screamed, but it didn't do any good. One reason I bought a condo here at Golden Ridge was because they're so well insulated against noise. If I can't hear my neighbors, it stands to reason they can't hear me, so shrieking for help was an exercise in futility. If the windows had 135.been open, it might have been different, but I had them closed because the air conditioner was on.

"The man kept twisting my arm, demanding to know where your father was, and it's lucky I didn't know or I might have told him. Finally I felt the bone snap. It's odd how you don't think of bones making noise when they break, but mine made a sound like a twig from a dried-out Christmas tree. The pain was so bad that I think I must have fainted, because the next thing I knew it was dark and I was lying in the hallway outside the bedroom. I managed somehow to get up and turn on the lights. I was very relieved to discover that I was alone."

"Oh, Lorelei!" I said again. I wanted to hug her, but I was afraid of the pain the pressure of my arms would cause her. "What did you do after that, call the police?"

"The police, the FBI, and an ambulance, in that order. At the hospital they set my arm and gave me a sedative. They kept me there overnight to make sure I didn't have a concussion, and the next day I was released and a friend drove me home. On the way, I had her stop at the kennel for Porky. I'm under no illusion this yapping beast is real protection, but at least he can bark and warn me if someone tries to break in."

"I can't believe we weren't even told," I said. "You'd think that Max could have gotten a message to us."

"He never even returned my call," said Lorelei. "His secretary told me the FBI takes no responsibility for people in the Witness Security Program and I should talk to the people at the U.S. Marshals Service. You do see, don't you, why it is that you can't move back here? The man who attacked me must finally have realized I didn't have the information he wanted, but there's no way he would ever believe that of you."

I had reached a point at which I could accept that statement. "You're right, I have to go back. I don't have a choice."136.

"Does anyone other than Steve know you're here?" asked Lorelei."His brother Billy, their parents maybe, and Sherry.""Then we're going to have to leave tonight," said my grandmother."We?" I couldn't believe I had heard her correctly. "Did you say weT'"I've been thinking about it ever since you phoned," said Lorelei. "I decided that if you came, I was going to go back with you. It wasn't an easy decision, because my roots are here-my friends, my activities, my memories of life with your grandfather. Still, such things are not as important as family. Your father's a sweet little boy who never grew up, and your mother lives in a world made of dreams and typing paper. It's my duty to be on call when the two of them need me.""But you don't even know where we're living now," I said. "It's a little hick town in Florida called Grove City. They don't have a symphony there or a country club or anything. As far as I know, they don't even have a restaurant except for a McDonald's and the Cabbage Palm Grill.""Then I won't bother taking my evening gowns," said Lorelei. "I can't pack a suitcase one-handed, so you're going to have to help me. We need to load the car and leave here immediately. The farther we get from Norwood tonight, the better."There was one final question I felt compelled to ask her, despite the fact that I already knew the answer."Did the man who broke your arm have very dark eyes?""That's an understatement," said Lorelei. "They were pools of ink."

15.

We were ready to leave in less than an hour. Lorelei directed while I did the packing. First I laid her matched luggage open on her bed; then I made a tour of the house with her, collecting items as she selected them, and carrying them back to the bedroom to load into the suitcases.

I was surprised at some of the things she chose to take with her. She stuck to her word about not taking her dinner dresses, but she did take an ermine stole and the contents of her jewelry box, a raw silk suit, and eight pairs of high-heeled shoes. The rest of her choices were sentimental-a doll with a porcelain face that dated back to her childhood, a family Bible, and a large a.s.sortment of photographs. One of the pictures was a small framed snapshot of Lorelei and my Grandpa Clyde on their honeymoon, smiling at each other on the balcony of a French hotel. They were dressed in old-fas.h.i.+oned clothing, but their faces were youthful and radiant, and they looked like stars in some old black and white movie. Another photo we packed was of my grandfather in his later years when his hair was spa.r.s.e and his face138.