Keep It Pithy Part 16

The crowning achievement of the Bush administration, usually ignored by the bitter left-wing media, is the hurt it put on al Qaeda. Within a year after 9/11, President Bush and his allies had delivered a series of devastating blows to the Islamic extremist community. The Taliban were routed in Afghanistan, dozens of al Qaeda leaders and operatives around the world were captured or killed, and scores of countries cooperated with America in freezing suspected terrorist bank accounts.

President Bush was flush with success. In most polls, his approval ratings were above 80 percent.

Then came the invasion of Iraq and the unraveling of the president's initial terror war success. As you know, the "Bush lied" crowd cannot stop screaming that the president fabricated the reasons for removing the tyrant Saddam Hussein. The prevailing wisdom on the far left is that Bush is a savage warmonger intent, for venal reasons, on imposing American dominance on the world. The anti-Bush partisans paint a harsh picture, and unfortunately, many people believe it. But that a.n.a.lysis is largely bull....

Nonetheless, I have to agree with critics that the post-Saddam planning by the Bush administration was abysmal. Soon after Saddam was pushed from power, I told my audience that American forces were not nearly aggressive enough in controlling the looting that was taking place in Iraq. I was amazed and depressed by the chaos. Why wasn't this kind of lawlessness antic.i.p.ated?

But, apparently, President Bush was not equally appalled. Furthermore, as subsequent events spiraled downward in Iraq, the president was very slow to react. Why? Well, my view is that he believed it would all work out. Again, that's the mind-set of rich guys. Everything will turn out okay because it has always turned out okay.

ROSIE O'DONNELL. Ms. O'Donnell has talent, she works hard, she's gathered a lot of loyal fans. But what's going on with the political stuff? n.o.body should begrudge any American the right to an opinion, but, hey, Rosie, come on, let's think out your flaky liberal agenda a little. Are you making sense, or are you spouting propaganda? I mean, a guy named Joseph Goebbels did the same thing on the very far right during World War II. Ms. O'Donnell demonizes anyone she disagrees with, and her musings are not to be questioned. But if you're gonna use your daytime soapbox to advance ideologies, Rosie, can't you at least allow someone with some knowledge to question you about it? (And I don't mean Tom Selleck.) I respect anyone with a well-thought-out opinion, but pure propaganda on national TV needs to be labeled for what it is. There are usually two sides to every issue. It is ridiculous to present only your side.

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Back to the present: Her most recent TV outing did not work out, and she doesn't have Bush in the White House to kick around anymore, but I bet we haven't heard the last of her. There'll be another incarnation down the pike.

It is safe to say that JIMMY CARTER has used some of his power to avoid talking to me. About anything. He'll talk with Hamas killers, thereby legitimizing them in the eyes of some folks, but forget about conversing with the bold, fresh guy. I do take this personally.

Over the years, we've invited Mr. Carter on The Factor dozens of times, but his "people" barely returned our calls. When they did deign to, I believe there was some sneering going on. This despite the fact that President Carter seems to write a book every three weeks and will appear on cooking shows to promote his work. So there is no question in my mind that Carter does not "get" the bold, fresh guy (whose program sells tons of books for smart authors). Or maybe he does understand and simply despises me. That has been known to happen.

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To be fair, President Carter is smart to avoid me, because I think he was a disaster as president. I think he's an okay guy, building those houses for Habitat for Humanity and such, but as the leader of America, the guy was scary....

There is little more for me to say about Carter. During the hostage crisis, Iran made him look like Little Bo Peep, and on his watch, Americans had to line up for hours to get gas for their cars. Richard Nixon might have been a liar and a crook, but at least he had a clue about the real world and how it works. Carter was given power by the American people and rewarded their judgment by finis.h.i.+ng his term looking like Swee'Pea from the Popeye comics. Some guys just can't handle life in the power lane. That was Carter.

On the music front, MADONNA bugs me. Her early songs are catchy, and I like the fact that she came from humble Michigan roots before rising to the top of the charts. According to Forbes magazine, she's now worth about $350 million; quite an achievement for a working-cla.s.s girl. But, somehow along the way, Madonna has succ.u.mbed to the awful disease of pretension. The latest symptom is her phony English accent. What is that all about? Is there no one alive who can tell Madonna that, when she talks these days, she sounds like a transs.e.xual version of Peter Sellers? Annoying? Off the chart.

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But did anyone care what I thought?

Guess not.

Madonna's concert act in 2012 was number one in attendance in the world.

The weasels were waiting for BURT REYNOLDS, whom I covered during my Dallas [TV reporting job] in 1977. He was shooting Semi-Tough. This was just after his famous seminude pictorial in Cosmopolitan magazine, when he was a regular on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show and was earning over $1 million a year-an incredible sum at the time. Burt took full advantage of Dallas with hot and cold running babes in his hotel suite and fleets of limos. Crowds of fans appeared wherever he went. With that kind of treatment he could have been obnoxious to this young reporter d.o.g.g.i.ng his heels, but he was actually very gracious and I kind of liked him. Once, he took the time to compliment me on a story I'd done about his costar, Robert Preston. But even I had enough smarts to see that he was headed for a fall. He was too c.o.c.ky to the wrong people and had too many guys named Vinnie and Marty whispering in his ear. Six years later his career blew up after a series of unbelievably foolish racing car movies. Then he lost a dramatic amount of weight, which sparked wildfire rumors in Hollywood that he had AIDS. Actually the problem was linked to a jaw disorder, but the rumors crushed his leading-man status. He's never fully recovered. Quite simply, the press built him up, and the press tore him down.

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I never enjoy telling stories like this one.

But they have to be told. Young people who overnight attain great public acclaim are even more vulnerable now than ever before, thanks to social media and vicious bloggers and ambitious hangers-on.

The weasels won't even leave the likely future queen of England alone when she's on a private holiday.

Take ELTON JOHN. He had to sell off the rights to most of his music when he got into debt up to his toupee. At the point where he had made more than $100 million, he was spending $400,000 a week, according to his accountant. Think of how many candles in the wind that would buy. We once shared a car in L.A. He was doing a private concert for King World, the company that owns Inside Edition, Wheel of Fortune, and Jeopardy! I was invited to the event because of my Inside Edition job. The car ride was truly bizarre. Trying to make conversation with John was like trying to teach calculus to a goldfish. Not going to happen. "Where are you living now?" I tried. My traveling companion ruminated for a few moments and finally decided he knew the answer: "Atlanta." This was news. "When did you move from England?" He became confused and said nothing. My final attempt was no more successful: "Which songs mean the most to you after all these years?" He looked as if he would throw up on my shoes. Out came very strange sounds, like the chorus to "Crocodile Rock." He buried his head in his hands. I spent the rest of the ride trying not to disturb an obviously distraught Elton. I learned one thing: Money can't buy good conversation.

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Again and again, the celebrity is unreasonably treated like an expert on everything, but sometimes the shoe might fit, although in strange ways. A reporter for the Weekly Standard asked the very famous O. J. SIMPSON for his considered opinion on President Clinton's problems with Paula Jones. His reply revealed the wisdom of a man with experience, I guess: "If it's true what happened to Paula Jones in that room with Clinton, then simply for hitting on a dog like her he should do thirty days. Other than that, I don't think it's anyone's business." Why didn't the White House put Mr. Simpson on the witness list for the Senate trial?

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Let's move on....

Okay, it's not even close: OPRAH WINFREY is the most powerful woman in the world. Sorry, Hillary. Born into deep poverty in 1954, this woman makes Bill Clinton look like Prince Charles in the humble-beginnings department. Compared to her upbringing in Mississippi, I was raised in the Taj Mahal. And even worse, Ms. Winfrey recalls being molested as a child by several male relatives and friends of her family.