Leadership Wisdom From The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari Part 5

"Then remember this: listening to what others have to say is a mark of respect. It shows you value your people and believe in them. What I'm really saying is that you must show empathy to them. You must identify with their perspectives. You must invest yourself in the person communicating with you. You need to truly get behind their eyeb.a.l.l.s and discover what they are thinking. Only by doing so will you understand them and will they feel understood. And the person who feels understood is the person who listens when it's your turn to speak. Remember, Peter, one of the greatest gifts you can ever give anyone is giving them 100 percent of your attention. Listening truly is the highest compliment."

"I've discovered that I'm not a great listener," I interrupted. "The more I think about it, the more I realize my poor listening habits must really turn off the people I work with. By not paying attention to what they say and feel, I'm really telling them that I don't care, that what they say is not really important to me. It now seems so obvious. And I'll bet that's one of the root causes of our low morale and low-trust environment. I guess I just never thought that excellent listening skills were that big a deal."

"They are," Julian replied swiftly. "Let's see how poor they are. Let's do a quick audit."

"Must we?"

"Like I said before, Peter, awareness precedes change. Before you can improve your leaders.h.i.+p skills, you must know precisely which skills need to be improved. An unknown weakness can never be transformed into a strength. So let me ask you, do you frequently interrupt others?"

"Guilty."

"Do you finish other people's sentences for them?" "Once in a while," I lied.

"Are you rehearsing your response while the other person is speaking?"

"Maybe," I said defensively.

"Well, then, we both know you need to do some serious work in the listening department. If you truly want to master Ritual 2 and capture people's hearts, you must stop listening with the intent to respond. Instead, listen with the intent to understand."

"Wow, that's a powerful way of expressing it, Julian. But let me ask you, if effective listening is such an important leaders.h.i.+p discipline, why do so few of us do it?"

"Great question. The first reason is that human beings are visual creatures. Eighty-three percent of our sensory input comes through our eyes so we often neglect much of what we hear. Here's an example. You're invited to a c.o.c.ktail party. You stroll in and are immediately introduced to someone. You begin chatting with that person and, after a few minutes, you realize you have forgotten something."

"To get a drink?" I quipped playfully.

"No, the person's name."

"Happens to me all the time."

"And not just to you. More than 90 percent of businesspeople forget the name of the person they've been introduced to eight seconds after they've heard it. The reason is that as soon as we meet someone new, our brains start processing all the visual and tactile information such as height, weight, gender, strength of handshake and facial expression. In the process, the name escapes our attention.

"So we need to start paying more attention to what we hear," Julian continued. "The second reason most leaders are not excellent listeners is that human beings possess the ability to listen at a rate of about 500 words per minute, yet we speak at the much slower rate of 100 to 125 words per minute. With all that s.p.a.ce left to fill, our minds tend to wander."

"Interesting. To be honest, I find my mind constantly drifts off when I should be listening to others. I'll be in a meeting and rather than listening to the speaker, my mind will rifle through all the urgent things that need to be done. Even when I'm talking to someone one on one, I start to daydream. Any ideas about how I can begin to focus on listening to and understanding the person speaking?"

"Excellent listening is a habit that takes a little time and practice. But believe me, it is worth the investment. I heard recently that listening can even improve your health by reducing your blood pressure, moderating your heartbeat and making you feel calmer. Having said that, the goal is to become 'an aggressive listener,' to use the term that Yogi Raman coined. I know it sounds like a contradiction in terms, but it's not.

"Get excited about being a great listener, get pa.s.sionate about understanding your people. As to how you do this, try these simple ideas. First, cultivate the skill of asking superb, open-ended questions of your employees and then really listen to the responses. One leader at a high-performing company came up with a simple yet effective idea to make the process even better. He recruited employees from throughout the organization and asked them for their detailed, practical suggestions about how to improve the company. This initiative had two immediate benefits. The first was that the employees felt they were being listened to, which further enhanced morale and environmental trust. The second benefit was that management received free advice about how to streamline and enhance the operation from the people who best knew its weaknesses rather than from an expensive outside consultant. Management then took the best suggestions and scientifically tested them against solid performance measures such as sales revenue, customer service complaints and quality standards to see which ones actually worked. By listening to its people, that company became a market leader."

"Okay, I'm with you on this one," I replied. "Can you tell me more about these Open-ended' questions you mentioned?"

"An open-ended question like, 'What things can I do to help you do your job better' will elicit a very different response than a closed question such as, 'If I bought you a new computer, it would help you, wouldn't it?' Then develop a series of what I call 'head-snappers.' These are powerful questions designed to get your people to open up and connect with you."

"Any examples?"

"'What has been your greatest achievement on the job?', 'What are you happiest doing?', 'What three things could we do to make this company more successful?', 'What excites or motivates you?' and 'What would you do if you were leading this company?' are all good ones. But I suggest that you take some time to come up with your own. My point is that you must become good at asking questions. And just in case you think I'm telling you to become a wallflower, never forget that the person asking the questions is actually leading the conversation."

"Really?"

"Really. The second strategy I suggest you apply to develop more aggressive listening skills is to briefly summarize and paraphrase what you have heard. By doing so, you will ensure that you have understood the other person's message and that she feels understood."

"Exactly how do I summarize and paraphrase?"

"Develop expressions such as, 'Just to make sure I understand you properly, are you saying ...?' Believe me, Peter, questions like that will work magic in terms of human relations and your competency as a communicator. Another powerful strategy is to take notes. Imagine what your people will think when they see you pull out a pad of paper and a pen and jot down notes as they speak. This simple gesture will send them the message that you are serious about taking them seriously. And then finally, be sincere. The suggestions I've offered you are not tricks and tactics designed to manipulate people. They are aids to help you connect with your followers. But if you are not genuinely concerned, they will sense it and the trust and respect you seek will never flow."

"And I suppose that couple over there listen to each other?"

"Most definitely. When the wife speaks, the husband is engaged and attentive. When the husband speaks, the wife summarizes and paraphrases to show him she identifies with what he is saying. I'm not suggesting that I spend my days listening to the private conversations of these two fine people, but I've heard enough to know they have mastered the art of excellent listening. And so should you."

"Okay. I'm sold on the concept. Like all the other leaders.h.i.+p wisdom you've shared with me, it makes so much sense. Just to make sure I understand you properly, are you saying that I should practice Ritual 2, leading from the heart, by keeping my promises and becoming an aggressive listener?"

Julian beamed, knowing that I had just put his "summarize and paraphrase" strategy into play. Then he patted me on the back and said, "C'mon, let's get a hot dog."

"You still eat hot dogs?" I asked in surprise. After all, Julian had attributed much of his physical transformation to the healthful diet the sages had taught him while he was living in the Himalayas.

"It's for you, my friend. You must be hungry," he said with concern.

As we continued to walk, Julian revealed another of the timeless truths about human relations that he promised would foster greater respect, loyalty and commitment.

"Visionary leaders are consistently compa.s.sionate. They constantly show kindness to their team and think about ways to show their concern is sincere. You see, Peter, another of the human hungers is the need to be cherished. To quote the eminent Harvard psychologist, William James, 'The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.' It doesn't matter who you are - whether you are a young schoolgirl or the toughest factory worker - every single person on this planet has a burning desire to be treated well. The best leaders know this and fulfill that need by being consistently compa.s.sionate."

"What exactly does being 'consistently compa.s.sionate' involve?"

"It's all about letting your humanity s.h.i.+ne at work. It's about showing people courtesy, consideration and respect, every single day of the work week. And courtesy is incredibly important in business. Peter Drucker once noted that manners are the lubricant of an organization. So be kind to the people you lead. Respect and cherish them. I think Goethe captured it perfectly when he said, 'Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and help them become what they are capable of being.' That, my friend, is one of the great secrets of leaders.h.i.+p success."

"But, if you don't mind me saying, Julian, if I were constantly kind to my people, wouldn't I look soft? I've always heard the best leaders are the tough ones."

Julian was silent as he bought me a thick hot dog and then watched me slather mustard and relish over it. I sensed he knew my question was important and wanted to gather his thoughts.

"Visionary leaders blend humanity with courage," came the poetic reply. "All too often, leaders are not real."

"What do you mean?" I asked as I munched on my lunch.

"Many leaders share the belief you just expressed. They have been told that effective leaders are tough, autocratic leaders. They feel that being nice isn't part of their job description and that leaders shouldn't appear too kind. And, therefore, even though the majority are decent people, they hide their true selves and always act tough, sending waves of fear through their organizations. The sad thing is that a dictatorial style of leaders.h.i.+p inevitably leads to only two outcomes: people become afraid or they begin to rebel. Either way, the company is soon surpa.s.sed by its compet.i.tors. Florence Nightingale hit the nail on the head when she mused, 'How very little can be done under the spirit of fear.'"

Julian paused and then added, "I'm not saying that visionary leaders are not strong. They are tough when the circ.u.mstances call for it. Actually, they are the strongest of all leaders because it requires great courage to maintain fidelity to one's vision and constantly do what's right. But they never neglect their people's interests. No matter how busy they get, they always take the time to show they care. They don't mind showing they are human. And that vulnerability powerfully connects them to their followers and builds lasting bonds.

"What I'm asking you to do, Peter, if you truly are committed to making GlobalView a world-cla.s.s operation, is to forget about all those clever new management fads that are popping up in business journals and focus on the timeless truths of leaders.h.i.+p. One of the greatest of these is that what people really want is a leader who values and cherishes them as people. They want a leader who has the vision to give them a glimpse of a compelling cause they can strive toward so that their daily work becomes meaningful. Above all, they seek a leader who is kind."

"So how do I go about being 'consistently compa.s.sionate?'"

"Just look at those two lovebirds," came the reply, as Julian pointed to the elderly couple, just as the husband had reached into the picnic basket and pulled out a large straw hat to protect his bride from the hot sun. "That man constantly performs what Yogi Raman called 'minor acts of caring.' He always looks for ways to show his wife he is concerned for her welfare. Sometimes he offers her shade by holding up an umbrella. Other times he pours her a cold drink from the canteen. A couple of weeks ago, when it started to rain heavily, I actually saw him lift her over a large puddle in an effort to keep her dry."

"What are you suggesting, Julian? You can't be telling me that I should be getting cold drinks for my people or lifting them up over the puddles that regularly flood our parking lot?" I remarked, tongue in cheek.

"Of course not. You know me better than that. Even when I was that hard-driving, fast-living lawyer, I always had my feet firmly planted in the real world. What I'm saying is look for ways to spread 'minor acts of caring' through your entire organization. Like I said earlier, be the model. The leader teaches his followers what behavior is acceptable by his or her own behavior. Look for small ways to show you care."

"Such as?"

"Such as sending a handwritten thank-you card to an employee who has done a great job. One CEO I knew personally signed a Christmas card to every one of his 10,000 employees. He would start in January in order to be sure he would get them all done in time for the following December, writing a few each day. Sure it took a few minutes from his busy schedule. But you can't tell me it didn't make an impact on his people. Or perhaps you might start answering your own phone - as Sam Walton did. Why not stroll down the hallways and talk to your people, being truly interested when you ask, 'How's the family?' Paul Allaire, as the head of Xerox, would have a photographer photograph him with one of his top producers and then offer the portrait to the salesperson as a keepsake for a job well done. These small acts of kindness make a profound statement. They add up over time and show your people you are committed to them. They show you care. Give more of yourself to those you lead. Albert Einstein said wisely, 'Many times I realize how much of my own outer and inner life is built upon the labors of my fellow men and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.'"

"I agree, Julian. Sure I'm busy, but I know I could do at least a few of these things to make a deeper connection with the men and women of my organization. You are saying that small actions can have big consequences, right?"

"Exactly. In 1963, meteorologist Edward Lorenz postulated a simple theory: the flapping of a b.u.t.terfly's wings in Singapore could affect a hurricane in North Carolina. To the amazement of everyone in the meteorological community, Lorenz showed that it could, turning upside down the long-held view that the universe was a large machine in which causes matched effects. Lorenz's postulation became known as the b.u.t.terfly Effect and stands as a reminder of the natural principle that small actions can have big consequences. Minor acts of caring are no different, Peter. A personal phone call when one of your employees becomes a new parent or a quick visit with a worker who is facing a challenge makes a world of difference in terms of the way people see you. Remember, you can't fax a handshake."

"You mentioned a fourth discipline I could use to ensure that I practice Ritual 2 and truly lead from the heart. What was it?"

"After keeping your promises, listening aggressively, and being consistently compa.s.sionate, the final cornerstone of human relations and communications competency is truth-telling. The best leaders, those who win the hearts and minds of those they lead, are open and honest. Actually, they are fanatically honest and, by being so, they earn everyone's trust. They also share information with everyone and make it one of their highest priorities to keep their people informed. They know that the long-term success of their leaders.h.i.+p depends upon their information sharing and truth-telling in all circ.u.mstances."

"And what do you mean when you say the best leaders are 'open?'"

"To truly win people's support and deep commitment to your future vision, you must communicate as much key information as possible to them. The more they know about what you are doing, the more they'll invest in where you are going. Just as with aggressive listening, being open and sharing ideas with people is a mark of respect. Having the decency to quickly and accurately inform them of the things that will affect them shows them that they are important. It shows them you value them. And when you constantly keep the lines of communication open, your employees will begin to value you as a leader, so much so that they will not want to let you down. That's when the magic starts."

"What do you mean?"

"Yogi Raman believed the highest level a visionary leader can attain in terms of the quality of the relations.h.i.+p she has with her people comes when they believe so deeply in her leaders.h.i.+p that they will do almost anything not to let her down. And when that happens, all things become possible within that organization."

I knew I fell far short of the model leaders.h.i.+p Julian spoke of. I belonged to the school that believed the less employees knew about what was going on within the company the better. Anything other than the information they needed to do their specific jobs was none of their business. But what Julian said was true. People who were fully informed would soon understand the rationale for my decisions. They would have greater confidence in my leaders.h.i.+p because they would know the context from which I was acting. And they would certainly feel a greater sense of owners.h.i.+p in the company. What Julian was telling me was not just the right thing to do. It was the smart thing to do.

"Being open and truthful also means that you take care of the little issues and skirmishes that come up every day before they escalate into full-blown wars," Julian added.

"You've lost me again."

"Here's an example. One well-known company suffered from major problems in morale when a key executive was let go. Rumors that the former executive's division was in trouble began to run rampant and other employees began to fear they would lose their own jobs. Fortunately, the company's president was a visionary leader. Because he understood the importance of openness and honesty, he immediately called a meeting to explain exactly what had happened. The executive had only been hired on a short-term basis to improve the productivity and effectiveness of the division he was charged to lead. Since the executive fulfilled his mandate and the division was again performing well, the president decided that there was simply no need to renew his contract. Though disappointed, the executive knew from the outset that this was a short-term post and left on good terms. By being totally candid with his people and keeping them in the loop, the president actually turned a negative into a positive."

"How so?"

"Because he helped them to see the executive's departure in a better light. He made them realize that it was actually a reason to celebrate because it meant that a division that had once performed poorly was now in fine shape, running smoothly without the benefit of an outside turnaround specialist. By being open with his people, the president showed them a more positive reality and nipped the problem in the bud. Don't let issues build. Explain the reasons behind your decisions and be transparent with your people. That's what leaders.h.i.+p is all about, my friend. As I said before, you need to help define reality for your people and keeping them informed will greatly a.s.sist you in doing that. Problems won't grow and misunderstandings won't fester. Now, if you don't mind, I must leave you. There's something I must do. It's been a great day. Thanks for being such a good student."

"Where are you rus.h.i.+ng off to?" I asked.

"I'm going to watch the stars," came the mysterious reply.

"What do you mean?"

"I'll tell you about it later, when you're ready for it. I've got to run."

What was it about Julian and the stars? During our meeting at the golf club, I remember him looking up at one of the stars and muttering a few words to himself. Now he was das.h.i.+ng off to do more of the same thing. Frankly, it sounded a little flaky, especially for Julian. After all, in his previous incarnation, this guy had been a corporate superstar. He had graduated at the top of his cla.s.s at Harvard Law School and had been one of the finest lawyers in the entire country. Now he was running around in monk's robes and stargazing. I never could figure Julian out. I guess that was part of his charm.

"But wait, Julian," I replied anxiously. "Don't I get another piece of the puzzle? And when can we meet again? You can't leave me hanging like this. I really want to master the whole of Yogi Raman's leaders.h.i.+p formula. It's already working its miracles within GlobalView."

"Here, take this," he said, handing me a ticket for a court-side seat at the next home game of the Skyjumpers, our local professional basketball team.

"I don't get it, Julian. What's this for?"

"We'll meet at the game. There's something very special I need to show you there. And it'll give me a chance to buy you another hot dog. You inhaled the one I bought you for lunch. Lucky I didn't lose a finger!" he quipped.

With that, he was gone. I started walking back to my car, which I had left at the other end of the park. Julian had offered me so many ideas to improve my company that I tingled with excitement. I couldn't wait to put Ritual 2 and all its components into practice. I felt hopeful for the future and deeply grateful that this sage man had returned to share his knowledge with me. As I drew closer to my car, I saw something tucked under the winds.h.i.+eld wiper.

'Oh no, not another parking ticket. I've already had three this week,' I thought to myself.

But I soon realized it was not a ticket. Rather, it was an envelope with the letters "J.M." elegantly embossed upon it. This was Julian's personal stationery from the old days. I grabbed it from under the wiper and peeked inside, unsure what surprise it held. I wasn't disappointed.

It was the third piece of the jigsaw puzzle that I had been hoping for. Like the others, this wooden piece had some words carved on it. I now knew they would offer me a clue to the third ritual of the ancient leaders.h.i.+p system Julian had discovered on his adventure to the Himalayas. The words read simply, Ritual 3: Reward Routinely, Recognize Relentlessly.

Chapter 6 Knowledge Summary * Julian's Wisdom in a Nutsh.e.l.l The Ritual The Essence The Ritual of Human Relations The Wisdom * Every visionary leader deeply connects with his followers * One of the deepest of all human hungers is the need to be cherished and understood * Let your humanity s.h.i.+ne at work and treat people with courtesy and kindness The Practices * Promise-keeping * Aggressive listening * Being consistently compa.s.sionate * Truth-telling Quotable Quote Every visionary leader has mastered the practice of deeply connecting to his followers. He has refined the art of clarifying his vision for the benefit of his people in a way that fully engages and stirs them into action. Through their people skills and talents as effective communicators, visionary leaders touch the hearts of their team and earn long-term loyalty. Simply put, when you enrich the relations.h.i.+p, you enhance the leaders.h.i.+p.

The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari RITUAL 3.

Reward Routinely, Recognize Relentlessly

CHAPTER SEVEN.

The Ritual of Team Unity

Go to the people,

Live among them.

Learn from them.

Love them.