Crazy Stupid Obsession Part 20

s.h.i.+t, I think I'm a little drunk.

"Yeah, well." He shrugs, nodding toward Val, who within seconds has a beer sitting on the bar in front of him.

"Wanna talk about it?" I ask, not sure I really want to know.

"Nope." He raises the beer bottle to his lips and drains half the bottle in one drink.

"That bad huh?" I kick my leg over Kimber's stool when a college-aged man tries to sit down. "Taken." I smile, immediately wondering what is taking Kimber so long in the bathroom. I feel like she's been gone forever.

"You have no idea." He sighs, pulling my attention back to him.

"Girl trouble?" I question.

"Something like that."

"Well, you've come to the right place. I'm having major girl trouble." It takes me a moment to realize what I just said, giggling the instant it dawns on me. "I mean boy trouble," I correct. "I like boys, not girls. I mean, I like d.i.c.k. Oh my G.o.d. I just said that out loud, didn't I?" I ramble, watching as Paxton's lips turn up in an amused smile.

"You're cute." He drinks the remainder of his beer in one more long gulp, sliding the empty bottle across the bar. "I can see why Gavin is so taken with you," he adds, nodding once again when Val slides another beer across the bar to him.

"Yeah, not so much anymore." I sigh, leaning forward to take a sip out of my own drink.

"Maybe someone should tell him that." He chuckles, lifting the beer bottle to his lips. "From where I'm sitting, he's still very much taken with you."

"Yeah well, from where I'm sitting, I'm pretty sure he hates my guts. Love sucks," I grind out, once again catching the slur in my voice. "Where the h.e.l.l is Kimber?" I change course without warning.

"I saw her and Decklan go upstairs on my way in," He answers without looking in my direction.

"f.u.c.king wh.o.r.e," I blurt, covering my mouth when once again the words meant for my mind flow out.

Paxton makes a choking noise as he struggles to swallow his beer before bursting out in laughter. "You have no f.u.c.king filter. You realize this right?"

"Me?" I question. "That's completely untrue. Didn't you hear, I'm the coward who hides behind her own excuses."

"Well, that's okay because I'm the a.s.shole who d.i.c.ks over his friend and completely f.u.c.ks everything up every chance he gets." I can tell by his reaction that he regrets his statement the moment he makes it.

I suspect his current mood has something to do with Charlie, but I keep that a.s.sumption to myself. It's clear it's not something anyone knows about, if there's anything going on at all. Maybe I'm just seeing things that aren't there. It certainly wouldn't be the first time.

"We should start a club," I offer, holding my drink up.

"And what should we call said club?" He turns toward me, a small smirk on his face.

"How about The f.u.c.k Love Club?" I suggest.

"f.u.c.k love," he agrees, clinking his beer bottle against my gla.s.s before we both drink.

There's a smile on my lips the moment I resurface from the bottom of my gla.s.s. While Paxton and I have said nothing at all, we've also said so much. For the first time since ending things with Gavin, I feel a little less alone in this world.

That is until I register Paxton's expression, his eyes focused on something across the room. I follow his line of sight, all the air rus.h.i.+ng from my body when I see Gavin standing at the other end of the bar, his eyes locked firmly on my face.

And he doesn't look happy to see me...

Chapter Twenty-three.

Gavin I can't take my eyes off of her. She seems fine. Happy even. How the f.u.c.k can she just sit there, laughing and drinking with one of my best friends, in my f.u.c.king bar, like everything is just f.u.c.king peachy?

Anger flares in my chest, my gaze darting toward Paxton who catches sight of me instantly, the smile falling from his face.

Yeah, you better quit smiling at my girl, you mother f.u.c.ker.

My girl?

Too bad she's not my f.u.c.king girl anymore.

I watch in slow motion as Harlee looks toward Paxton and then follows his gaze, her eyes finding mine within seconds. I watch her face fall in shock followed by the deep flush that fills her cheeks, evident even in the dim bar lighting.

She makes no attempt to move or even really react for that matter. She just sits there, staring at me like she's seeing a ghost.

I break eye contact when the door beside me opens, Decklan and Kimber suddenly appearing just feet from where I'm standing. I can see the panic that immediately floods Kimber's pretty face and the apology written across Decklan's when he meets my gaze.

Now I know why Charlie tried so d.a.m.n hard to keep my a.s.s at home. She knew Harlee was here. Every single one of these f.u.c.kers knew she was here and what's worse? They purposely kept her from me.

The sting of their betrayal is real, but it barely registers on my already pain-riddled heart. I don't think anything can hurt me the way Harlee did. And as such, everything else seems like a tiny blip in comparison.

I look back at Harlee to find her eyes are still locked in my direction.

"Gavin." Decklan lays a hand on my shoulder, pulling my attention back to him.

"Don't." I shake his hand off my shoulder. "When you p.i.s.sed away what you had with Kimber, who was there to help you get her back? Who hand delivered her to you? I did. This is how you repay me? You bring Harlee here and then get my little sister to play babysitter to make sure I don't find out?"

"This is my fault," Kimber immediately interrupts. "I asked him to do it," she admits apologetically. "I just wanted to get her out of her room."

"And you couldn't have done that somewhere else?" I bite, knowing the moment it leaves my mouth that I'm treading on very thin ice. The way Decklan steps in front of Kimber to s.h.i.+eld her from me is all the indication I need.

"Careful," he warns.

"f.u.c.k you, Deck," I spit, anger seething through me. "Good to see when I need a true friend I have none."

"That's bulls.h.i.+t and you know it. We're brothers man." He clasps his hand on my shoulder again, this time tightening his grip enough that I can't easily shake him off. "I wanted to respect what Kimber was trying to do for her friend without rubbing her in your face. This isn't some big conspiracy against you. I was trying to spare you." He tightens his hand on my shoulder, forcing me to meet his gaze.

"You should have told me." I grind out.

"I'm sorry." His apology is genuine, that much I can tell. But it does nothing to slow the flames that have burst to life in my chest.

I nod, letting him know we're good before turning my gaze back to the end of the bar, my heart dropping into my stomach when I realize she's no longer there. I look to Paxton who shrugs apologetically and gestures toward the door.

I immediately set off in that direction, ignoring the sound of Kimber calling my name behind me. I may have been able to kid myself into believing that I could live without Harlee, but after seeing her just moments ago, I realize how very wrong I was.

Not only can I not live without her, but I don't f.u.c.king want to.

I look left and then right, scanning the sidewalk the moment I step outside. Turning left when I don't see her anywhere. I quickly round the building, stopping dead in my tracks when I spot Harlee leaning against the wall, her gaze turned downward.

"I should never have pushed you away," she says so quietly I don't know if she's talking to herself or if she's completely aware that I'm standing just feet from her.

"I messed things up so bad," she chokes out, emotion clear in her voice.

If I didn't know any better I'd say she's talking to the wind, having still made no attempt to look my way.

"I'm so sorry." When she finally looks up, her eyes are gla.s.sed over in tears, her expression pained. "I'm so, so sorry, Gavin." Her words slur slightly, giving away her clear intoxication.

"You're drunk." It's a statement, not a question, my voice coming out a bit harsher than I really intend for it to.

"Maybe a little," she admits. "But if I wasn't I wouldn't have stopped here. I would have run away, left, too ashamed and embarra.s.sed to face you after the way I treated you."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of." I take a hesitant step forward. "It's me that should be ashamed. I was completely out of line."

"You were right." She cuts me off, her gaze halting my movements.

"No, I wasn't." I shake my head.

"You made me feel things I didn't know I could feel. It scared the s.h.i.+t out of me," she admits. "I didn't know how to handle those feelings. So I hid. I hid behind Bryan. I hid behind my fear. Even when I knew you were what I wanted, I couldn't make myself act on it. I couldn't take that final step, afraid that once I did, everything would fall apart. I was convinced you were in it for the chase, for the game. That once you had me, I mean really had me, you would no longer want me."

"You couldn't have been more wrong," I cut in, taking another step toward her, closing the distance between us to just a couple feet.

"I should have trusted you. I should have trusted us." She wipes at a stray tear that escapes her eye.

"How I feel about you, it scared me too, Harlee. It f.u.c.king terrified me. It still does," I admit. I should have given you the time you needed to work through your hesitation instead of forcing you into something you weren't ready for," I add.

"But I was ready. I wanted to be with you from the moment I first saw you. I knew you were it. I think that's what scared me more than anything; how quickly I fell for you." She lets out a slow breath. "I was ready. I still am. But now it's too late."

"Who said it's too late?" I can't help the smile that pulls at the corner of my mouth.

"You did," she continues when she sees the confusion that crosses my face. "You left. You didn't fight for me. You didn't call me. You made no attempt to contact me at all. If that doesn't tell me you're done, I don't know what would." She swipes at another tear.

"I'm not done. Far from it." I close the distance between us, taking her face in my hands. "I was trying to respect your wishes, something I should have done from the very beginning. I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving you alone. Every single f.u.c.king day without you has been worse than the last. It gutted me to leave you that day. It f.u.c.king killed me to stay away from you. I love you, Harlee. So f.u.c.king much it hurts," I breathe, pressing my mouth firmly to hers.

Her body relaxes against me as she melts into the kiss. Only seconds pa.s.s before her fingers find their normal spot, tangling in the back of my hair as she tightens her grip on me.

It feels so good to have her body pressed against mine again. To feel her bottom lip quiver as I slide my tongue into her mouth. To hear her soft moans as I kiss her harder, deeper, wanting to make sure she never has the power to walk away from me ever again.

"Say you're mine," I speak against her lips. "I need you to say it. I need you to mean it this time. I need you to be mine."

"I was always yours." Her response is instant.

A wide smile spreads across her beautiful face as her fingers tighten their grip on my hair, pulling my lips back down to hers.

Chapter Twenty-four.

Harlee Words simply cannot describe the way it feels to be back in Gavin's arms. To see him drop all his walls and let me see his true vulnerability. I don't think I realized just how much I hurt him by pus.h.i.+ng him away. Something I promise myself right here and now to never do again.

"I love you," he breathes against my lips, resting his forehead against mine. "Don't f.u.c.king break my heart again. I don't think it could take it." He pulls back, his eyes locked firmly on mine.

"That goes for you, too." I cup his cheek and lose myself in the depths of his blue eyes.

"We should probably head back inside," I add on. "I'm sure they are wondering where we disappeared to." I refer to Kimber, Decklan, and Paxton who are still inside the bar.

"I could care less." He drops a light kiss to my lips.

"You mean you couldn't care less?" I let out a small laugh. "Saying you could care less means you could actually care less."

"Yeah, that's what I said," he laughs, the sound the most amazing thing I've ever heard.

"So you do care or you don't?" I can't quite keep up with what he's trying to say.

"I don't."

"So then you couldn't care less."

"That's what I said," he teases.

"Okay." I shake my head, knowing at this point he's purposely just trying to confuse me for his own amus.e.m.e.nt.

Glad to see some things never change.

"I'm more concerned about getting home and kicking Charlie's devious a.s.s to the curb so I can show my girlfriend just how f.u.c.king much I love her for the rest of the night." He gives me a wicked smile, his eyes boring into mine.

"Your girlfriend huh?" I joke. "She must be an incredible woman to have earned the t.i.tle of your girlfriend."

"Oh, you have no idea. Not only is she the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on, she also sucks a mean c.o.c.k." He busts out laughing when my mouth drops open in shock.

"I cannot believe you just said that." I shake my head on a laugh. "Wait. Yes, I can." I laugh harder.

"So is that a yes?" he asks, falling serious.