The Power Of A Whisper Part 12

When I think about the divine whispers that have been delivered to me by real live people along the way, my mind traces all the way back to my teenage years, when after the burger dinner with a mentor from our church that I described in chapter 1, I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling with that man's words banging around in my brain. "What are you going to do with your life that will last forever?" he had asked me at the restaurant that night.

It was a radical thought, the idea of turning everything over to a Being I could not see. But forty years later I realize that the trajectory of my spiritual journey was actually set on that single night. The man had told me that to accept his challenge I only had to put my life in G.o.d's hands for as long as G.o.d proved himself trustworthy. The moment G.o.d made a mistake, I could bail on the deal then and there.

I've long since given up on the notion that G.o.d ever will fumble the ball in my life. Heeding the wise prompting from that man would go down as the most sensible step I've ever taken. One simple whisper. One tentative but receptive spirit. One life forever changed.

ANOTHER BIT OF COUNSEL THAT CAME BY WAY OF A FRIEND showed up during the early years of Willow. Lynne and I had become close friends with a family that was part of the church. We were consistently struck by how deeply this family loved each other. We wanted our family to be like that, but we weren't entirely sure where we should begin.

One weekend after the wors.h.i.+p service, the father of that family approached me.

"Bill," he said, "I think you're doing a good job of leading our church, but I'm curious if you're open to a piece of advice on the family front."

"Absolutely," I said, and I meant it.

"You might think about using your vacation time more wisely," he said. "Instead of just staying away from church stuff and calling that your time off, consider using vacations as opportunities to make an investment in your family...to infuse your family with adventure and joy."

What he said gripped me. During my early years of ministry, my tendency whenever I took days off work was either to continue working (from home), or to hang out with a few guy friends. But I wasn't fooling anybody. And my family certainly wasn't benefiting from this trend.

I asked a few questions for clarification and learned that the man and his wife made it a priority to take two family vacations each year. Well in advance of the trips, they would involve their kids in the planning process and build a strong sense of antic.i.p.ation for what would soon unfold. While they were gone they would squeeze every ounce of family time out of the experience, and once they returned they'd tell stories, share memories and look at photo-alb.u.m snapshots as they relived the great time they'd had.

For the past twenty-five years, that single prompting from G.o.d through that dad has had more of an effect on the Hybels family than any other counsel we've received. We too have prioritized taking a family vacation or two each year-sometimes to exciting places and sometimes to a tiny town in Michigan, where we can just rest and boat and swim. And like the family that modeled this behavior for us, we too watched our family learn to love each other far better as a result.

Several years ago, the kids and Lynne and I were enjoying our final dinner together on one of those vacations, and I asked them to share two or three family memories that were most important to them. Without exception, those memories were made while on vacation together somewhere. As Shauna and Todd began recounting each trip, Lynne and I were stunned by how vivid their recollections were. They remembered every city, every hotel and nearly every restaurant where we ate. Todd recalled every rental car, truck or boat; Shauna recalled every social activity we engaged in; and all of us recalled the years when our vacations were dampened by unwelcomed weather or hijacked by the flu.

Still, through good times and bad, sickness and health, those getaways forged in our family bonds that honor each other and G.o.d. All because of one well-placed whisper from a friend.

I WISH I COULD SAY THAT EVERY WHISPER I RECEIVED ALONG the way involved smooth-sailing subjects like feel-good vacations and fond family memories, but that's not the case. A couple of whispers, courtesy of one very good friend, caused huge waves in my life.

For years, Lynne and I had been involved in a small group with friends from church. We would get together once a week to talk about what was going on in our lives and then to pray about various struggles and share with each other what the Bible would advise us to do. In terms of format, we typically would conduct our meeting, enjoy a meal together, pray together and then if possible hang out for a few minutes longer, just to shoot the breeze.

After one such meeting-during that "shoot the breeze" time-one of these close friends approached me with a gale-force whisper from G.o.d.

"Bill, I'm concerned about your heart," she said.

She went on to explain that in her view, the way I had conducted myself during the meeting that night bore evidence of a certain "layering over," as she called it.

"When your heart gets layered over by protectiveness because of the tough ministry hits you've taken through the years," she said, "you become less sensitive to the hearts of others. I think this dynamic deserves your honest reflection."

As she spoke these words of truth, her eyes stayed trained on mine. She said her piece slowly, tenderly and with compa.s.sion, which didn't surprise me, given how undeniably supportive she and her husband had been of my family, my ministry and me as an individual. I knew she had my best interest at heart, but I wasn't sure how to change this "layering over" that she observed in me.

Several weeks later-again following a small-group meeting-this same friend approached me and asked if we could talk. She had been observing the pace of my life and how it was causing me gradually to pull away from close friends.h.i.+ps. Willow had just moved from two services a week to five because the church was growing so fast, ministry to the international church was just firing up, the Willow Creek a.s.sociation was getting underway and we had just launched a ma.s.sive building program. I barely could keep my professional plates spinning, let alone carve out time on the personal front. Even worse, I was neglecting the care of my own soul and now was dangerously close to a crash.

"I'm sensing that my words a few weeks ago didn't help, and your ongoing behavior is causing even greater concern," she said. "Bill, I've prayed about this, and I think it's time for you to go see a Christian counselor."

The instant that she conveyed her thoughts, I knew that she was right. G.o.d was offering me a lifeline in the form of this friend's advice, and the most foolish thing I could do was to neglect to act upon the input I'd just received.

Her single-sentence whisper from G.o.d wound up costing me hundreds of hours-and thousands of dollars in counseling fees. But in the long run, it saved me far more than it cost. The much-needed investment I made in healing and growing my inner world during that season led to greater relational, emotional and even professional health. Two months ago, when I stood on the platform in our church's main auditorium and said, "Happy thirty-fourth anniversary, Willow!" I thought to myself, I wouldn't still be here had that friend not taken whispers seriously.

ONE OF THE MOST PROFOUND WHISPERS I EVER RECEIVED WAS delivered to me around that same season of life. After wors.h.i.+p services one weekend, a friend walked me to my car.

The message I'd delivered that weekend, by G.o.d's grace, had felt anointed. The congregation's response was overwhelmingly positive. It was one of those experiences that pastors wish they could frame and hang on the wall, just so on tougher weekends they could remember a fonder time.

On the way to my car, my friend said, "G.o.d really used you today, Bill. What a tremendous service, and what a powerful message..." When we finally reached my car, he turned toward me and said, "Hey, just one small thing. And don't make too much of it-please-but when you mentioned in one of your sermon ill.u.s.trations a 'seven-car pileup,' were you referencing the accident that our small group saw last week, when we were on our way back from lunch?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Well, I'm not trying to be a stickler here, but it was a three-car wreck at most." He paused for a moment before continuing, while I absorbed his words.

"Bill, G.o.d consistently speaks through you in an extremely powerful way," he said. "You don't need to try to spike your impact by another 10 or 15 percent through exaggeration-or any other means. There's plenty of power already coming through. To those of us who know you well, the exaggeration doesn't increase the sense of anointing; it actually reduces your credibility some."

I cringed. What he said rang true.

"Listen," he continued, placing a hand on my shoulder. "When you speak, G.o.d uses you in amazing ways. My plea is that you'd rest in his strength, instead of adding cars to the pileup when you're on stage."

I remember that prompting like it was delivered to me this morning. And still today, whenever I am tempted to add a little pizzazz to my talks, I think about his exhortation: "Don't add cars to the pileup."

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart," Proverbs 3:5a6 advises, "and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." G.o.d straightens our paths by supplying generalized guidance via large-group opportunities, such as weekend wors.h.i.+p services or conference sessions where the Bible is taught; he provides insights during the practice of private, spiritual disciplines; and he offers "a.s.sistance with skin on it" by whispering to us through caring exchanges like that one in the parking lot that day.

I think back on some of the persistent whispers I've been blessed enough to receive and know that I'd be half the man and leader I am today had I not heeded those powerful words.

Sue Miller was one such conduit of whispers. Sue and I have known each other since we were high-school kids, and our friends.h.i.+p would carry us through serving in a youth group, starting a church and migrating into adulthood. She was in Lynne's and my wedding, and we would later stand by her side when she was the one saying vows. We'd vacation together as families and celebrate the fact that ministry partners could actually be friends.

Sue always has had a pa.s.sion for seeing children educated in the things of G.o.d in inventive and engaging ways. From the get-go, she would tell me, "Bill, kids matter! Children's ministry matters! This vital part of G.o.d's church should receive more staff and funding and support from senior leaders." It would take me some time to incorporate that truth, but eventually I did get her point. Her consistent whisper eventually led to children's ministry at Willow getting the staff and funding and support she requested. And today, when I walk through Willow's Promiseland ministry and see the legacy that one woman has left, I think of the countless children who have chosen Jesus as their Leader and Savior because of Sue's vision. I thank G.o.d for using her persistent whispers to enlighten me about investing in future generations.

G.o.d has sent other whisperers, beating various drums that would serve as instruments of change in my life. From my mentor and college professor Dr. Gilbert Bilezikian, the drumbeat was, "Servanthood matters!" From Nancy Beach, who was a part of the original youth group that eventually gave birth to the church, it was, "Bill, the arts matter! Artists matter!" From my wife, Lynne, it was, "People stricken with AIDS matter. People suffering through extreme poverty matter!" From my psychologist friend Henry Cloud, it was, "Your inner world matters, Bill. You can't solve everything with your head." From John Maxwell, the drumbeat was, "Leaders.h.i.+p matters-especially leaders.h.i.+p in the local church." The list of drumbeats could go on.

In The Message transliteration of the Bible, Proverbs 2:1a5 reads like this: "Good friend, take to heart what I'm telling you; collect my counsels and guard them with your life. Tune your ears to the world of Wisdom; set your heart on a life of Understanding. That's right-if you make Insight your priority, and won't take no for an answer, searching for it like a prospector panning for gold, like an adventurer on a treasure hunt, believe me, before you know it Fear-of-G.o.d will be yours; you'll have come upon the Knowledge of G.o.d." What a powerful image, that of a prospector panning for gold. Just imagine if everyone you knew searched for insight like that. Imagine if you consistently did so yourself.

When you and I live wide open to divine direction courtesy of someone who loves G.o.d and loves us-and when we receive those whispers with humility and grace to spare-those whispers become like beautifully wrapped presents that we can enjoy throughout the rest of our lives.

Several weeks ago while at a gathering, I engaged in what I thought was friendly banter with another person in the room. I think I was giving the guy grief about his golf game, but whatever it was, I thought it was all in good fun.

An Elder of our church was at the same get-together and happened to overhear the exchange. As the man I was teasing stepped away to get something to eat, the Elder approached.

"You know I love you, Bill," he said, "but some people are more comfortable with your bantering than others. Please be discerning with your teasing."

Though I appreciated the Elder's intent, and the gentle way he had conveyed this message, I felt a twinge of defensiveness. "C'mon," I thought, "lighten up. I was only joking."

But then I sensed G.o.d saying, "That was a gift, Bill. Reflect on what he is saying, because he's right. Don't neglect the counsel you are being given."

As the Holy Spirit confirmed what the Elder had conveyed, I felt my defenses drop. G.o.d was letting me know, "No real damage was done here tonight, but if you don't take heed, you could harm someone in future days." Through the one-two punch of the Elder's words and the Spirit's follow-through, I sensed I had dodged a future bullet, and I was grateful.

Fast forward to a few nights ago, when our Elder board convened for our monthly meeting. Most of us have sat around that Elder table for many years-decades, even-but for one new member, a G.o.dly man with long-tenured partic.i.p.ation in our church, this was only his second meeting.

The group was involved in a lively discussion about a well-known pa.s.sage of Scripture when this newest member piped up. "Oh, right. That's found in chapter 14 of the gospel of Luke, verses 14 through 24."

Everyone else knew that he had cited the wrong address, but I kidded him by saying, "You ought to spend a little less time in the Koran and pick up your Bible every once in a while!"

There were chuckles all around the table-including from the target of my taunt-as we moved to the next item on the agenda and continued our meeting as planned. But I began to hear a faint whisper.

At the end of the meeting, in typical fas.h.i.+on the chairman of our board led us in a quick a.s.sessment of our demeanor and partic.i.p.ation that evening. He asked, "Does anybody need to make amends for anything, clarify a point or apologize for a wrongdoing of any kind?"

I eased my hand into the air. "I need to apologize," I said, as I looked at the new member of our team. "You've only been here for two months, and what I said earlier reflected an inappropriate level of playfulness, given your short time with us."

"Oh, come on, Bill!" the guy jumped in. "I listen to you teach every single weekend, and I know you well enough to know that you were just joking..."

"I got a subtle flag in my spirit after I made that wisecrack," I said, "so I want to stick with the apology and ask your forgiveness here tonight."

He graciously granted it, despite believing it was thoroughly unnecessary.

What he didn't know was that G.o.d had been taking me on a journey that had started several weeks ago, at a party where I was given some counsel by a trusted, loving friend who truly had my best interest at heart. That journey is one of cleaning up my communication style and using words to build up and not to tear down. Sure, the whisper stung a little that night and took some of the s.h.i.+ne off of a great meeting. But I'm learning that if I'll pay attention when the sting is small, I'll be spared greater pain later on.

In John 8:36, Jesus says, "If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." And if there is one beneficial by-product to listening to G.o.d's whispers as delivered through the people in your life, it is this: the well-timed, well-placed counsel of friends can put you on the fast track to freedom in this life-freedom from the troubling forces people face every day.

For some, the "force" is a self-defeating belief-that they're worthless, incompetent or repulsive to those they love. For some, the "force" is a self-defeating behavior-overspending, overeating, overdrinking, overachieving, over-pleasing or over-worrying.

For others the obstacle deals with relational dynamics: "If I could just control my temper!" the twice-divorced man laments. "If I could just stop manipulating people," says the domineering woman. "If only I could fix the pain inside me that causes me to wound everyone else," says the victim of abuse who many years later still has not found relief.

The list goes on, as controllers and leaners and clingers and stuffers and liars make no progress in the relational wasteland of their lives. Perhaps you silently join their chorus, knowing all too well how they feel. Maybe it's you who have pushed a spouse away, pushed your kids away, pushed your colleagues away or destroyed every decent friends.h.i.+p you've ever known. But your life doesn't have to be this way. By G.o.d's grace, you can s.h.i.+ft gears, starting today.

The genuine liberation you seek can be found only in Jesus Christ. And part of his strategy for helping you is to provide truthful input through other people in your life. You're not worthless, incompetent or repulsive, but you might need to make a few s.h.i.+fts. And being open to the input of those who will shoot straight with you could be the greatest blessing you'll know.

The next time a trusted friend calls up and asks, "Hey, do you think we could talk about something I'm seeing in your life?" I challenge you to lay down your defenses and to pick up humility instead. Tell your friend you'd love to talk-and mean it-trusting that G.o.d might have better days in store for you through the wisdom found in their words. One of the ways both you and I will experience a better, more righteous life is to heed those whispers. Open your ears to the in-the-flesh counsel your Father wants to communicate to you today. You'll never regret the surges of wisdom those interactions may bring.

CHAPTER 9.

WHISPERS THAT.

CHANGE THE WORLD.

THINK FOR A MOMENT ABOUT THE CLa.s.sIEST, MOST sophisticated restaurant you've ever visited. Imagine the gourmet chef, working tirelessly in the kitchen, designing each meal as though it were an individualized work of art. Tonight he is preparing your dinner: Beef Wellington-a succulent cut of tenderloin, seared just right and topped with marinated mushrooms.

Got the image in your mind?

Now, if I were to ask you, "What is one thing you could do to really annoy that chef?", what would your answer be?

I've had more time to think about this question than you have, so I'll give you my answer first. If I wanted to maximally annoy and offend that chef, I would wait until the gourmet meal was placed in front of me, then I'd look up and say, "Thanks! Got any ketchup?"

I dare you to try this sometime. (And, for the record, asking for A1 Steak Sauce will yield the same effect.) Or imagine a Kennedy Center recital by a world-renowned vocalist, whose perfect pitch and "high C" voice could shatter a crystal gla.s.s. In the middle of her beautiful Italian aria, you jump up on stage and join in, singing along at full voice-and at about a half pitch off-key. Your "performance" could maim that musician for life-and she might just return the favor. Don't try it-even musicians can throw a left hook.

If you want to instigate a lively response from a musician or a chef, then try causing harm to the objects of their creativity. On a larger scale, if you or I want to instigate ire in a holy G.o.d, then try bringing harm to one of his creations, by playing loose with issues of justice in our world. You can bank on a dynamic response.

A quick scan of Scripture makes G.o.d's perspective on justice abundantly clear. "Do not pervert justice," Leviticus 19:15 says. "Do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly." "Follow justice and justice alone," says Deuteronomy 16:20, "so that you may live and possess the land the LORD your G.o.d is giving you." Or how about Deuteronomy 27:19? "Cursed is anyone who withholds justice from the foreigner, the fatherless or the widow."

"The LORD loves righteousness and justice," Psalm 33:5 declares. "The earth is full of his unfailing love." Check out this litany of justice-loving p.r.o.nouncements, straight from the heart of a justice-loving G.o.d: Blessed are those who act justly, who always do what is right.1 I know that the LORD secures justice for the poor and upholds the cause of the needy.2 Learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.3 For I, the LORD, love justice; I hate robbery and wrongdoing. In my faithfulness I will reward my people and make an everlasting covenant with them.4 He has shown all you people what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your G.o.d.5 Woe to you Pharisees, because you give G.o.d a tenth of your mint, rue and all other kinds of garden herbs, but you neglect justice and the love of G.o.d. You should have practiced the latter without leaving the former undone.6 Clearly, our G.o.d fires up pretty quickly when he sees injustice at work in his world. Like a skilled musician who can't help but be traumatized by a series of flat notes, or a chef who reflexively cringes at the thought of ketchup on a tenderloin, injustice rubs G.o.d the wrong way. Understandably, it inspires his wrath. G.o.d's flawless character can settle for nothing less than justice on behalf of his people.

Now, to be clear, you and I don't respond to injustice quite so strongly. We may read verses like these and think, "Yeah! Preach it, G.o.d. I'm right behind you!" But left to our own devices, we sometimes fail to act on that promise. A little oppression here, a little bigotry there-as long as we're not the ones being harmed, we can easily look the other way. It's not that we like injustice; it's simply that injustice doesn't cut to the quick of who we are. That is, unless G.o.d's soul-piercing whispers have their way.

I've been in awe of G.o.d's character ever since I was adopted into his family. I've noticed that when G.o.d finds somebody who is living tuned in to his input-a woman or a man with a serious mind, available hands and an unquenchable thirst for righteousness-he tends to tap that person for help in solving a societal ill. Like the eerie calm just before a storm, G.o.d places a quiet whisper of insight into a willing pair of ears-and then sits back to watch as a storm of justice begins to build.

Based on conversations I've had with scores of people who have received these types of whispers, the initial instructions from G.o.d often are simple: "Read the book."

"Ask the question."

"Watch the doc.u.mentary."

"Go to the learning group."

"Risk engaging in that relations.h.i.+p."

"Find the funding to take the trip."

But not surprisingly, once the person follows that initial divine direction, all bets are off. More times than not, that person's world gets irreversibly rocked as their role in this world takes a radical, justice-focused s.h.i.+ft.

If you're a couple of decades on either side of me, you likely remember a woman by the name of Candy Lightner. One day in May of 1980, Candy's thirteen-year-old daughter, Cari, was walking from her house to her school carnival, when she was struck and killed by a hit-and-run drunk driver. The guy behind the wheel had three prior arrests for drunk driving and had been on a three-day drinking binge. Two days before killing Cari, he had been arrested and released for-you guessed it-a drunk-driving hit-and-run. In an instant, Candy's precious daughter had been robbed of life. The injustice of a child dying at the hands of a drunk driver stirred unbelievable pa.s.sion in this grieving mom. G.o.d rocked her world, and Candy Lightner would go on to found MADD-Mothers Against Drunk Driving-which over the past thirty years has influenced countless local, state and federal jurisdictions to strengthen laws and stiffen penalties for those who choose to drink and drive.

G.o.d has moved similarly in scores of other lives. I think of a woman at Willow-a suburbanite, young-but-devoted Christ-follower enjoying a comfortable, upper-middle-cla.s.s existence until G.o.d decided to rock her world. Seeing her able mind, her open hands and her obedient spirit, he said, "I have a special a.s.signment for you."

For the past six years, this woman has resided in Cape Town, South Africa, where she seeks to show G.o.d's love to fourteen-year-old prost.i.tutes. Every night she hits the streets, armed with food, wholesome employment opportunities and an invitation to start a new life. One young girl at a time, this woman is right-sizing the injustice of a broken world that uses these girls as disposable objects. And every ounce of progress she has witnessed can be traced back to a single whisper from G.o.d-a whisper she could not deny.

Then there is Gary Haugen, the founder and president of International Justice Mission (IJM). In the late 1990s, life was going just fine for Gary, a Harvard-trained lawyer-until one day when G.o.d whispered a plea into his ear. "Gary," the Holy Spirit said, "it's time you use your legal background to fight for those who can't fight for themselves." Today, IJM has field offices in fourteen countries and a staff of hundreds, all of whom are laying down their lives to secure justice for victims of slavery, s.e.xual exploitation and the violent oppression that wreaks havoc in our world. Willow is grateful to be one of IJM's many partners.

When G.o.d is given the invitation to rock someone's world, great kingdom gains get made. The one being rocked joins G.o.d on an adventure he or she never could have imagined, and the people he or she serves discover hope and peace and freedom they had never known.

The first world-rocking whisper I received from G.o.d dealt with helping to alleviate extreme poverty. Admittedly, logic would say that I'd be the last person to care about social-action issues such as this. I'm a white Dutch guy of reasonable means who spends his downtime racing sailboats. What do I know of poverty and suffering, of oppression and strife? And yet G.o.d would have certain plans for my life that traced their roots all the way back to that Nairobi hotel room I described in chapter 1, when I was a teenager visiting one of Kenya's worst slums.

That particular evening G.o.d had whispered, "Bill, if you'll dedicate your life to me, I'll use it to help solve some of the problems you are witnessing." Those "problems" involved bloated bellies, rotting limbs and flies crawling all over the faces of people living and dying in the streets. I was watching the crown of G.o.d's creation being forced to subsist on too little money, too little food and far too little hope.

I wasn't sure exactly what G.o.d meant by this whisper, but I took the deal nonetheless, and over time he has filled in some of the blanks.

WHEN I WAS STILL A STUDENT IN COLLEGE, I BEGAN TO NOTICE and study Scripture that expressed G.o.d's strict instructions that the wealthy members of society care for those who were poor. For example, in Leviticus 19:9a10, G.o.d says, "When you harvest your land, don't harvest right up to the edges of your field or gather the gleanings from the harvest. Don't strip your vineyard bare or go back and pick up the fallen grapes. Leave them for the poor and the foreigner" (MSG). Later, in Deuteronomy 15, G.o.d instructs landowners to carve out a tiny piece from their expansive property and give it to someone who was poor. Landowners were to provide starter seed as well, so that an impoverished family could harvest a crop and feed themselves with a sense of dignity.

To the wealthy, G.o.d also says, "Whenever you make a loan to someone who is poor, do not ever charge them interest."7 They already were poor; why on earth would a rich person want to profit off of their misfortune? Similarly, he tells well-resourced people to cancel the debts of the poor whenever possible-that they would be further blessed by writing off the loans they had made.8 Although G.o.d is clear in his instructions that his followers help lift the poor out of poverty, sometimes G.o.d's people failed to pay attention to what he says. Instead, according to Zechariah 7, they "stubbornly turned their backs and covered their ears. They made their hearts as hard as flint and would not listen to the law or to the words that the Lord Almighty had sent."9 G.o.d's people actually stopped up their ears so they couldn't hear the cry of the poor! And understandably, G.o.d was enraged. I can't help but reflect on times when my own hesitant response to the cry of the poor has equated to "stopping up my ears." During those same young-adult days, I came across a pa.s.sage of Scripture describing another way to live. Isaiah 58:10a11 says, "If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail."