Combatants Will Be Dispatched Volume 2 Chapter 2

Translated by JayTranslation

Edited by Ulti

Part 1

In the kingdom where the king is a useless old man, the first princess, Tirris, handles the domestic affairs.

She was known by those within the castle as the de facto ruler. I saw this while I was pa.s.sing through the courtyard.

In front of the large machine, Tirris gathered herself and opened her eyes widely…

「d.i.c.k Festival!」

「Just like I thought, this is hopeless… Even if it works, shouting this in front of all those people…」

While saying that to herself, Tirris let out a sigh and turned around. After she made eye contact with me, she froze completely.

I said to the frozen Tirris,

「Princess-sama, you're also at the age where you want to play around to your heart's content. Whenever I stay at a hotel during a journey, I tend to go nude to feel a sense of freedom, so I get what you're feeling.」

「No, that's not it! Please stop with your strange misunderstanding! Besides, the sole reason I have to shout this is because of you!」

Probably because she felt like she just showed me an embarra.s.sing side of hers, Tirris had a bright red face while telling me her unreasonable complaint.

「Hey, don't be unreasonable! Why did this become my fault!?」

「Are you really asking why!? You were the one who changed the required command words to operate this artifact to those words! 」

…………What is this girl saying?

「Why would I change the pa.s.sword to something so stupid? Stop saying something that doesn't make any sense.」

「You're lying, right!? This happened not too long ago. Wait, did you really forget!? … M-more importantly, this is the reason why I called you here. I have something to tell you, No. 6-sama.」

Did I already raise a flag with princess-sama because of my recent accomplishments?

But……

「I'm sorry, Tirris. I'm grateful you feel that way, but scheming girls are a little……」

「Who said anything about that!? I just needed a little advice! Also, please stop calling me a scheming girl! The matter that I have to discuss with you is regarding the artifact!」

While still a little red, Tirris retorted quickly.

「That machine calls for rain, right?」

Just when I started the conversation, Tirris nodded her head and said,

「Long ago, every year, when water was necessary, this artifact was used to call down rain. However, in recent years, we weren't able to use it as it was intended since the artifact no longer worked properly…」

While saying that, Tirris' expression became more serious.

「And that is why I called you here, No. 6-sama. I wanted to entrust you with an escort mission. Ever since the artifact was broken, we depended on a scarce ore known as the water spirit stone, that's mined in the neighboring kingdom of Toris… Since the artifact is now operational, I want to cut down on the imports this year. But…」

Tirris looked very bitter while avoiding eye contact with me.

「My father suddenly refused to operate the artifact, and went into hiding…」

Going by Tirris's explanation, in order to operate the artifact… Someone with royal blood has to pray in front of many citizens and shout out the command. But if those were the only requirements, there's still no reason for the king to specifically do it himself…

「Then it will be fine if you're the one shouting in front of everyone.」

「I can't do it! How can you even think of making a girl say that in front of all those people! … S-so, we are currently on a manhunt for my father, but since we can't be sure, I'd also like to dispatch a diplomat to Toris. And even if we do that, it was our side that requested a reduction of imports. If we ask them to increase it again, it'd be a tough negotiation ordinarily…」

While saying all that, Tirris grasped her hands together, as if she was praying. She looked at me with upturned eyes, like a fragile girl.

But I already know.

This princess is wicked.

If it's for her country, she'd probably even be able to say some vicious words.

「… The first prince of Toris is known to be quite a lecherous man. On that note, even though her personality is like that, since she's very beautiful, I was thinking of sending Snow as the diplomat…」

「I already don't want to hear anymore of this.」

Is this princess really thinking of sending her own retainer to a lecherous prince as a tribute?

Even though I'm a member of an evil organization, I was surprised at this very vile thought.

「Please listen to the very end. Didn't I tell you that I wanted to entrust you with an escort mission? I have no intention of selling her. It's just that I heard the prince loves beauties. He will surely have very naughty thoughts once he sees Snow. If something threatens her, please suppress the situation and denounce the act. It would become a very big problem, even for a member of the royal family, if he laid a hand on our diplomat, Snow. Yes, it'll surely become advantageous for us during the negotiation process.」

「That's called a 'honey trap' in my country.」

Am I only surrounded by people harboring dark thoughts?

For some reason, Tirris looked at me in awe while I was becoming a little frightened.

「In other words, this is also a diplomatic strategy used in No. 6-sama's country? If that's the case, then this will be brief. It'll probably be fine since Snow is strong herself, and there was also that instance when she had her panties removed in front of everyone by No. 6-sama.」

「Hey Tirris, I told you that there was an actual reason for that. More importantly, hear me out, I'm still being called by an unpleasant name on the streets. So can you be more careful of what you say? I can't have any more weird rumors of me going around.」

From the start, the act of lowering Snow's panties was done to save this kingdom.

That was a heroic act, so it'd be troubling if it was treated as an act of s.e.xual hara.s.sment.  

Anyway…

「About being an escort… I'm not a bodyguard, I'm a combatant, you know? So I'm reluctant to-…」

Tirris was smiling pleasantly at me while I was talking to myself.

「Is it alright for you to say that? Didn't No. 6-sama and Snow already share a moment of locking lips together? There's an actual chance that she might be s.e.xually a.s.saulted, you know?」

While saying that, Tirris flashed a smile at me as if there was a deeper meaning behind it.

「Well, I don't particularly care.」

「Huh?」

As if my words were unexpected, Tirris quietly let out a small voice.

「That hot-blooded and greedy girl isn't my type. So it doesn't really matter for me whether or not she's s.e.xually a.s.saulted…」

「Never, ever say that in front of her, okay!? This is a formal request from our nation to Kisaragi! This is a request, so please do it!」

If you say it's like that……

「Normally, I would send the Advisor as the diplomat to Toris, but for some reason, last month he suddenly gave his letter of resignation… Since that happened, there's a lack of potential diplomats…」

The Advisor.

I don't know who she could be talking about, but he's a pretty irresponsible fellow if he suddenly decided to stop working.

Does a terrible fate await every person in this kingdom??

「Well anyways, I won't be taking this request. Since I'm a combatant, I'm useless except when it comes to fighting. I do love setting a trap for people, but find me something else.」

Hearing that, Tirris looked like she was nervous.

「P-please wait! We've prepared the information requested by Alice-san as the payment for completing this request…」

「… Information?」

I wonder what kind of information she would want. I wonder if it's about some rare animal or a powerful drug?

While I was thinking that, as if to answer my question…

「It's information about the ruins scattered around this continent. There are even ruins in the kingdom of Toris, where we're sending Snow to. They haven't been investigated yet, because n.o.body knows how to release the seal placed on the entrance. If you accept this request, I will ask the kingdom of Toris for permission to investigate the ruins… So how about it?」

Tirris shamelessly raised her eyes while she said that.

Part 2

There's a huge house, with a Kisaragi sign in front of it, on the outskirts of this town.

This was the temporary base that Alice and I rented.

This was the Secret Society Kisaragi's provisional Grace Kingdom branch.

「— And so, apparently there are mysterious ruins there that the whatchamacallit nation hasn't touched yet. But due to some ancient technology n.o.body understands, it seems like they're unable to go inside because they couldn't release the seal on the entrance. So, we can figure something out after we get there.」

After I returned from the castle, I consulted with Alice about what I just heard.

「Regarding the ancient technology, it's probably something similar to the out-of-place artifact lying around in the castle courtyard. If it's something like an electronic lock, leave it to me. More importantly, that other mission you received from Tirris is going to be problematic.」

「……Huh? What other mission?」

My legs, that were sloppily raised on the chair, were trembling while I asked her,

「Since Snow is dispatched as a diplomat, weren't you requested to escort her? I'm telling you this now, but you can't do anything stupid this time. No matter how 'high-performance' I am, I can't help you out every time.」

As if she was worried about me for whatever reason, Alice said those words to me.

「What, that's what you were worried about? Just leave it to me, befriending old men that I meet for the first time when I'm out drinking is somewhat of a specialty of mine.」

「Even so, stop bringing back old men every time you go out drinking. A homeless old man you brought back tried to set up a tent in the yard of our base. It was really hard getting rid of him.」

I thought things were going really well between us, but he would always disappear once it became morning. Was it all because of her?

「That's an android for you. I've been wondering this ever since we offered a sacrifice to that devil, but do you not have any blood or tears?」

「I've said it many times. Androids don't have any of those things. More importantly, there's also the mission regarding the expansion of the invasion site that we've received from Astaroth-sama. I've said it many times, but don't do anything stupid, okay? She told us to show results within a month.」

I turned to Alice after she warned me many times.

「I don't know just what you've heard from the executives, but I think you're misunderstanding me? Just watch. Diplomacy is also possible for the oldest combatant. I'll show you how capable I am!」

「I'm telling you to not do anything unnecessary.」

Part 3

Most of the surface of this planet is covered by great forests.

Aside from the forests, there's only a dark-reddish, barren landscape that's nowhere near suitable for people to live in.

We were now in the middle of that barren land—

「Ahahahahahaha! Ahahahahaha! I am the wind! I will become the wind!! Hey Commander, look! I named those deadly heggs Violet, Sunny, Spot and Duke! Nothing can keep up with us right now!」

「Oi Grimm, you're going to fall off if you keep jumping around! Snow, Rose! Don't just watch her, try to rein her in!」

While I looked at Grimm being all excited with her torso sticking out of the sunroof, the large buggy was speeding ahead.

Behind the buggy were big, alien-looking, four-legged beasts chasing us as if they were being provoked by a certain person.

I don't know what Grimm found so entertaining, but she was continually laughing like a madman with her upper body sticking out of the sunroof.

In the back seats were Snow and Rose. Probably because of the unusual scenery due to it being their first time riding a motor vehicle, they were glued to the windows and overlooking the red lands.

「Alice, stop going so fast! If the vehicle jumps, Grimm's going to be sent flying… Wait a second, can you even reach the accelerator?」

「I'm a high-performance android. When it involves something cla.s.sified as machinery, I can control it simply by connecting to it.」

I looked at Alice just after she responded. A cord was sticking out from under her clothes. It was connected to something just below the steering wheel.

「More importantly, the road's going to get rough right about now. Make Grimm come down soon.」

Just as Alice said that, the buggy jumped up pretty high.

Right after that, I couldn't hear the laughter coming from the sunroof anymore…

「C-Commander, Grimm fell off! She's being cornered by the deadly heggs, we have an emergency!」

「Now look, just when I said that, this happens!」

As soon as Alice slammed the brakes, we dashed out of the buggy.

Grimm, who fainted from the damage she received from falling out, was being surrounded by the demonic beasts. It was right before they were going to drag her into their den to eat her.

「Hey! That spinster isn't tasty at all! I'll give you this instead, so get lost!」

As soon as I threw our lunch away as bait, the deadly heggs left Grimm while she was in front of them and flocked towards the bait.

I don't think they understood me, but it seems like they could tell which would be tastier.

As soon as we recovered the deadweight girl in exchange for our lunch, the deadly heggs didn't chase after us as if they were satisfied with their revenge.

「…This girl. Can she really not do anything about the fact that she's incapacitated before every fight?」

「It looks like she was only bitten. She's still alive. She'll recover after a little while.」

After we loaded the pa.s.sed-out Grimm, our buggy continued speeding away—

「Hey No. 6, can you give me that magical tool you call a buggy? I have some connections that sell rare items. Well after taking about a five percent cut… 」

「I'm not going to sell it. It's still too early for you guys to have this modern convenience. Besides, ordering one costs me a hefty amount of atrocity points.」

We left Grace Kingdom in the early morning and arrived at the foreign nation of Toris just when the sun was setting.  

「Atrocity points? You were making a big fuss about not having enough points back when you were fighting the generals of the Demon King's Army. Do you and Alice need those 'points' when you guys use your summoning magic?」

It's not like we receive stuff through magic, but the people here can only think of it as such.

「That's pretty much the case. I earn atrocity points through my usual behavior. It's like my trump card. I use them in situations when I shout, "Now's the time!"」

「I don't really understand, but in other words, it means that if I stick around with you, I can get my hands on rare magical tools… Hey No. 6, does that mean you can summon swords just like Tiger-Man-dono? Depending on what's summoned, if it's like last time, I'll be fine with paying for it with my body…」

「Y-you're really…」

Is this girl really fine with selling her body for valuable things or swords? I did hear that she was from the slums… I wonder just how harsh was her life for her to turn out this way?

I wonder if she was just acting embarra.s.sed after kissing me not too long ago.

After we arrived in Toris, we left the buggy at the entrance, and decided to go straight to the castle.

At that time, Rose was looking around while trying to move Grimm. It seems like she discovered something straight ahead.

「Commander, look at this! They're selling Andrew's skewers! I wonder what kind of demonic beast an Andrew is!?」

A stall that was selling skewers could be seen on the spot that Rose was pointing at.

「About ten years ago, Andrew was a giant demonic beast that shook this nation. Even though ten years have pa.s.sed, the meat is still edible, and pretty delicious because of its rich flavor. It was such a ridiculously large demonic beast, that there's still leftover meat remaining even though the people of this nation were eating it for this long.」

「Ehh–! Commander is so well informed!」

Just after I gave a simple explanation about Andrew to Rose, the store owner chimed in.

「Customer, it'd be troubling for me if you spread strange rumours. My name is Andrew. The name means that this is a place managed by Andrew that sells skewers.」

「Commander, that was going too far! Just like grandpa told me, humanity deserve to collapse because they lie all the time!」

While I was getting hit by the embarra.s.sed Rose, I also looked around the streets.

After looking around the streets of the Toris Kingdom, it seems like the level of civilization here doesn't differ much from that of the Grace Kingdom's.

I do see the occasional unknown device known as an artifact, but nevertheless, Kisaragi tech appears superior.

I was walking while having these thoughts, and eventually I could see the castle.

They were probably notified from the announcement that was made earlier, because a well-dressed man came out to greet us as soon as we arrived at the front gate.

「Emissaries from the Grace Kingdom, welcome to Toris! At the present time, it's difficult to get an audience with the king. However we have prepared a banquet for your long journey. The first prince of this kingdom, Engel-sama will look after you all. So please, enjoy your stay.」

The old man was smiling as he greeted us. He look like an official from domestic affairs.

While I was thinking of how to respond to him, Snow stepped up in front of us.

「Yeah, we're in your care! My name is Snow. I'm the captain of the Grace Kingdom's royal knights, as well as the personal knight of Princess Tirris. In other words, I am the sword that defends the princess.」

While I was looking at her wondering just what she was saying, Snow's whole face turned into a smile.

「I heard that the main business of Toris is exporting water spirit stones. I also heard that there's a whole lot of those precious gems buried underground. I've never been able to see one of those rocks, it'd be great if I could see it once. Ehh, I'm actually pretty jealous!」

「I-I understand. Then, I'll prepare a small amount of water spirit stones as a gift for when you return. Then if you could so kindly give a good word to Tirris-sama…」

Unbelievable, is he trying to ask for a bribe.

「Ah, of course! I'll report to Tirris-sama that we've received an amazing welcome! For your information, we arrived here in a convenient vehicle. You don't have to hold back, it's possible to take back with us a sizeable amount…」

We were a little terrified while watching the official from domestic affairs and Snow talking as they entered the castle,

「… Hey Alice. Do you think it's really alright to leave it to her to handle diplomatic matters? We came with her as escorts, but if Snow makes a mistake, won't we be in danger as well? More importantly, even though it's me that's talking, I'm pretty terrified because of that girl's greed.」

「First of all, even though she's like that, since she's a captain of the knights, there's no way this is her first time handling diplomacy. In uncivilized cultures, things like bribes are commonplace. Right, Rose?」

「Just like grandpa told me, humanity deserve to collapse because they're greedy…」

…… After taking a side glance at Rose while she was mumbling something strange, I followed behind Snow as she was walking forward happily.

Part 4

And then there was the welcome party.

「Commander, how do you think this mini dress look!? s.e.xy? Hey, is it s.e.xy? Are you about to fall over from being head over heels over me?」

I coincidentally met Grimm in front of the party venue. While wearing a black, s.e.xy dress, she was showing off as she asked me.

「The only words I can think of are, 'don't go overboard, you hag'.」

「Great Zenalith-sama, bring forth a curse to this man! Be cursed with impotence!」

Just as Grimm pointed her finger, I dove headfirst to dodge it.

「I missed…」

「Forget about missing, you're a pretty scary woman, aren't you!? Just now, I was more scared for my life than when I had to face strong enemies!」

Probably because she used it as a tribute to her G.o.d of disaster, Grimm's ring disappeared.

For someone that's usually useless, this spinster is only able to display a terrifying power when it doesn't matter.

It's possible for her powerful mind to cast curses once objects are offered in exchange.  

That curse she just tried to cast on me… Apparently its success rate will be lowered because it failed and the demerit from the recoil didn't happen.

But, there's no denying that it's still terrifying.

「I did it because you couldn't be honest with yourself. I mean you even stole my panties before…」

「That was because you were giving me signs. If you're going to flaunt them by flapping that skirt around, I'm going to lift that skirt up again.」

As if she became wary from my words, Grimm took a couple of steps backwards.

While we were doing this, three people appeared in front of us after they changed.

Snow was wearing a very revealing, skimpy dress that emphasized her chest. It was just inviting people to look.

「No. 6, what do you think of this mini dress? s.e.xy? Well, is it s.e.xy? Do you want to give me everything you own from being head over heels over me?」

I looked over to Grimm, who said something similar. She lowered her head as if to avoid my gaze.

「… Grimm, earlier, you asked me for my opinion with that kind of face on.」

「… Commander, I was wrong. Since parties are great for encounters, I was too nervous. I'll be a little more careful from now on.」

It was at this moment, I saw Alice. She was the only one that pretty much looked the same, since she wore her usual one piece dress. She came over my way and whispered to me.

「Hey No. 6, I looked around inside the castle while pretending to be lost child. This country also has a machine that doesn't match its civilization level. I wasn't able to investigate it properly since too many people were around. So when the party starts, let's sneak out and investigate it.  」

「You're so thorough in that regard…」

It seems like there are mysterious machines lying around here and there on this planet.

I wonder just what happened in this world's past?

There's also those ancient ruins that are yet to be investigated. If I discover an amazing treasure or an ancient super-cla.s.s item… If I can accomplish that, then becoming an executive wouldn't be just a dream anymore…

While I was having those thoughts, the one person that may be the most related to the ancient ruins… The chimera started humming in a happy mood while wearing an elegant dress.

…I wonder if she's also looking forward to encounters at the party…

「Rose, you too…」

「What are you talking about? Commander, I'm looking forward to the party! I'm definitely going to eat all the delicious food until my stomach's about to explode!」

I was wrong. She was only excited to eat.

I wish at least you would remain pure out of everyone else in this squad.

I prayed for Rose while she tilted her head and sent me a suspicious look.

While fixing the collar of the borrowed suit I was wearing, I opened the door to the venue—

「— Hey No. 6, what are you going to do about this? It's not like you can get out of this by saying we chose the wrong personnel.」

It became a truly chaotic situation at the location of the welcome party.

On top of that, the main culprits were the members of my squad.

「You're soo amazing, aren't you? Hammel-san, you're so young, yet you've accomplished so much! And since you're the third son of a n.o.ble, you won't have any of those annoying succession problems. Plus you won't have to take care of your parents in their later years!」

「Y-yes, that's right. However, I was only able to be appointed as the captain of the seventh order of knights because of my excellent subordinates…」

At one higher octave than her usual voice, this spinster was talking in a completely different manner.

Grimm was trying to woo the brown-haired, good-looking knight, looking at him with upturned eyes.

A far cry from her usual self that couldn't remain healthy, she was looking very elegant right now, a wonderful lady.

「Excuse me, but emissary-dono, why are you barefooted?」

If you exclude the part about her being barefooted.

She told me before that it was because of a curse that prevented her from wearing shoes.

Although she's wearing a beautiful dress, the sight of her walking barefoot on the carpet of the venue made for a strange sight.

「Oh~ really Hammel-san, please call me by my name, Grimm. I'll do the same, since we're close enough!」

Grimm was trying to act cute twisting and turning around in strange movements, but the man looked like he realized something.

「Ah, no, calling a woman I've met for the first time by name is… And it was rude of me to ask why you were barefoot…」

「It's because of religious reasons. More importantly, Hammel-san is quite timid! I think that's great since it means you aren't really the type to cheat!」

Grimm responded to his question with the vigour of a predator closing in on its prey.

Even though the knight was fl.u.s.tered and looked like his energy was being drained, it seemed like he couldn't give her the cold shoulder because of the fact that she was an emissary.

Elsewhere…

「Delicious! This is the first time I'm able to eat this much delicious meat!」

「That's a relief. But Rose-sama, the roast pig isn't something to be eaten by just one person… Um, I don't think it's good for you to eat the bone. Ah, there's sauce on your mouth…」

While Rose was voraciously eating the roast pig served on the plate, she had tears in her eyes as she praised its deliciousness.

Even though the maid was wiping her mouth with a handkerchief, Rose didn't even pay the slightest attention to her and continued eating.

「Delicious! This is so good! Also, since the bones are so crunchy, everything's very tasty!!」

「Th-that's great to hear, it's a relief that you're so satisfied. Rose-sama, moving on… This is Romal Shrimp and grilled Echigo Crab. The fishy smell might be a little potent, since the meat is quite fragrant… Rose-sama, you're not supposed to eat the sh.e.l.l. Rose-sama? It'd be wise to not eat the pincers…!」

This girl was doing things her own way. She was making a scene in a different way compared to Grimm.

And last but not least…

「Is Engel-sama still not here!? Wasn't the first prince-sama supposed to welcome me!? Oi No. 6, if I manage to succeed in seducing the prince, I'll definitely cause him to make a blunder. So make sure you back me up while I'm trying to seduce Engel-sama!

「I'd be able to rest easy if everything followed the plan…」

This girl wasn't even trying to hide her desire from the start.

That dress might've looked really good on her, but that was canceled out by her words and actions.

「Do you understand, No. 6? Listen carefully okay? This is the first prince of Toris, the next king of this nation. And in this nation, there's even a saying that gold coins pop out of the ground. It's a nation abundant with natural resources. That means if I manage to become the queen, I can live a life of leisure!」

Really, what should I do with her…

I was requested by Tirris to set up a honey trap, but the content of that request was for me to step in and save this girl when the prince is about to cross the line.

But since that same girl is dead set on crossing the line, I'm only getting in her way.

After watching Snow breathing roughly, Alice came over to me and whispered something to me.

「Hey No. 6. I think the man, known in this country as Engel, is obese and lecherous. I don't think he's really a man that she'd want. If she has high expectations, then it'd be troubling later on. So do something about that girl.」

Ooh.

「That actually sounds like it'd be pretty funny. I should leave her alone as she is right now, and raise her expectations so that she'll be really disappointed.」

「You're really such a nice guy…」

While Alice was showing a graceful expression, one of the butlers raised his voice.

「Everyone, you've waited a long time. The first prince, Engel-sama has arrived.」

I turned my eyes to the entrance of the venue, and someone stood there that exceeded even my expectations.

「… Alice, there's no way.. Even though you said he was a fat prince, I thought he'd be a little younger…  chubby kid.」

「It seems like the king of this nation is still active in his duties. If his parents aren't retired, then regardless of his age, he's still a prince.」

The person who entered was a plump old man that looked like he was over the age of forty.

Probably because he didn't care about his health at all, his breathing became rough just from walking. And he was sweating a lot even though it wasn't hot.

Still… This was way more disappointing than what I antic.i.p.ated.

Just when I was about to cheer up Snow,

「Engel-sama, it's a pleasure to finally meet you! I came to see you on behalf of the Grace Kingdom. I'm the captain of the royal guards, Snow! It's truly an honor to meet you today!」

I thought she'd receive a shock from seeing the prince, but Snow's eyes were glimmering and she wore a smile so bright, it looked like it could even make flowers bloom.

… I think I've been really underestimating her.

「Oh, you're quite the beautiful diplomat. I am the first prince of this nation, Engel. For coming all the way here from so far away, I truly-…」

「Calling me beautiful, you're making me blus.h.!.+ Right back at you Engel-sama, you have an imposing frame that just exudes a manly aura! I'm being swooned!」

Before the guy called Engel-sama could finish talking, Snow complimented him aggressively.

I thought she was just a slightly greedy, weird girl as well as a sword maniac, but she's actually ridiculous.

As long as the man was filthy rich, whether it's an orc or a slime, this girl is capable of loving him from the bottom of her heart.

「… Snow-dono, I'm happy you think so, but I'm aware of how I look. Even if you don't say those things, my nation and the Grace Kingdom are allies. So there's no need to put so much effort…」

「What are you saying Engel-sama? Please look me in the eyes! You're very charming, I can a.s.sure you on that front! What do you think? Do these look like the eyes of a liar!?」

The silver-haired beauty was looking at the fat man straight in the eyes.

Without context, this would've been such a touching scene where true love is realized between the beauty and the beast… Really, what should I do with her.

「… Y-your eyes don't seem like they're lying. Eh, thank you. This is the first time I've been complimented so earnestly. I'm very envious of Princess Tirris for having such an amazing subordinate. Moving on… To my understanding, you came here this time to discuss the export of the water spirit stones… 」

「Wh-what are you saying Engel-sama! I just explained it so pa.s.sionately, so why did you change the topic!?」

The greedy b.i.t.c.h stopped the man from discussing the serious matter after he got ahold of himself.

Forget about that talk, she should've came here to negotiate about the water spirit stones.

「Uh, Snow-dono, I don't really understand what you're saying, if talks of me laying a hand on an emissary from an allied nation circulates, it'd become quite a huge diplomatic problem…」

Since Snow was saying something incomprehensible, the old man started to slowly back away since he was put in a troubling position.

「How pathetic! I heard that Engel-sama was a lecher. Are those rumours false!? There's a girl showing her interest, right in front of you! Are you planning to embarra.s.s me!?」

「Calling someone a lecher on the first meeting, aren't you being too rude!? More importantly, even though it's the first time we've met, why is this woman throwing herself at me so much!?」

Since she stepped forward just as much as the old man stepped backwards, now, Snow didn't even try to hide her twisted face that showed her true desire.

「I came here in place of Princess Tirris. I think you understand what that means? Our nation has been the Demon King's Army's target of aggression. Just recently, we repelled a major attack from them. And now, there are only small skirmishes between us. Look over there at that stupid-looking man holding a drink in one hand and standing around uselessly. His name is Combatant No. 6. Even though he looks like that, he's pretty capable when it comes to fighting.」

While she said that loudly enough to be heard all the way here, Snow took a slight glance at me.

「Oi Alice, is that girl dissing me?」

「She just complimented you, saying that you're pretty capable when it comes to fighting.」

I-is that really the case?

But it doesn't really feel like she's complimenting me…

「Currently, our nation has been working with hired soldiers like him. I don't know if you can tell from his savage-looking face, but if he gets too bored, he's someone that causes many problems. But when it comes to fighting enemies head on, surprisingly, he becomes a lot more mature.」

After hearing Snow's words, the man looked at me with fear in his eyes.

That was definitely not a compliment. Even I could tell that.

By letting him know our strength, Snow had an evil expression, as if she was threatening him, she placed a hand on the man's shoulder.

「Well, because of the situation with the Demon King's Army, we're not really free, and fighting will likely resume again soon. But… until then, in order to suppress his urges, we want to keep good relations with our neighboring nation.」

「Of, of course! This was the reason for why we have this magnificent reception for Snow-dono…!」

… I'm going to pretend that I didn't hear any of their sinister talk.

During that time.

「You, you b.a.s.t.a.r.d! You tricked me! You should've told me from the start that you were engaged! Just because you're a little bit handsome, you played around with a woman's heart! I can't forgive that sin!」

「E-even if you say that…! Grimm-dono, please calm down. Everyone's watching!」

All of this yelling erupted from the middle of the venue.

I wondered what was going on, but it was just the spinster from our squad trying to cast a curse on the knight from before.

「Great Zenalith-sama, bring forth disaster to this man! Make his head drenched in water!」

At the same time Grimm shouted that, something she was holding vanished.

And then, Grimm's face was splashed with a lot of water, as if someone overturned a basin full of water on her.

… It seems like the curse failed.

The completely drenched Grimm had her head down, while her shoulders were trembling…

「… Heh… heheh… Laugh all you want. Ahahaha! Laugh all you want at this pathetic girl! Turned down by the man I approached, reduced to this state from the failure of my curse. Just laugh all you want at me!!」

She eventually threw a tantrum. That spinster was rolling around on the carpet and doing her best causing a ruckus.

I really didn't want to pay any attention to her, but the problem was that she was my subordinate…

Just when I was about to leave since I could no longer just watch…

「You can't belittle yourself this much, my lady. If you keep crying while you're drenched, you're going to ruin your cute face. I'll have a maid prepare a change of clothes right away, so…」

A tall, middle-aged man reached out his hand as he offered Grimm a handkerchief while she was still crying out loud.

Looking at his great physique, he might've been a general or something like that.

「… Excuse me, dandy prince? If it's not too much, may I ask for your name…」

「I'm letting you know right now, I already have a wife.」

I couldn't watch any more of this. I got Alice, who was watching over Grimm with great interest, and decided to leave area…

Part 5

「Hey Alice. I accomplished something great last time, right? Usually, after going through a life-and-death situation with my comrades, it wouldn't be strange if at least one flag was raised with one of them. So why are they like that? Every last one of them… they're fine with anyone as long as the guy is good-looking or filthy rich? And on another note, I even came to another planet from Earth. So why is that the only thing that hasn't changed?」

「You also prefer girls that are beautiful and young. In addition, you want someone earnest. Coming from an android, men and women are all the same. If you want an ideal girl, then get yourself the soon-to-be-released Kisaragi android for those 18 and over.」

While I was cooling off my body that got a little heated from the alcohol, Alice and I were wandering inside the castle and having this-…

「…Oi Alice, what did you just say? Did you just say that Kisaragi started selling really erotic beautiful androids for those 18 and over?」

「I never said that. I didn't mention anything about it being erotic.」

What should I do, I really want to go back to j.a.pan right now.

But, if I go back now, I think I'll be dispatched to fight with the heroes…

While I was having those thoughts, Alice suddenly stopped.

「We're here. Look No. 6, what do you think that is?」

In the corner of the castle was a machine with an enormous gla.s.s case attached right in the middle of it.

The case was filled with an unknown liquid, and I could tell that the machine was still in operation, even now.

「I know what this is. It's one of those things that incubates a dangerous person within the gla.s.s. More specifically, like a beautiful homunculus girl, or someone's clone. Alice, a.n.a.lyze this thing and make me a clone of Snow. Then I'll swap the tainted one back at the party with the newly born and pure Snow.」

「That does sound fun, but I think this is something akin to a hibernation capsule. I think something was put to sleep inside this thing previously. Maybe whatever was inside this thing ran away as soon as it woke up, since it looks like it's empty right now.」

While Alice was tapping away, she said those words…

「No, that's definitely not the case! I'm telling you this device is used to make beautiful girls. If that's not the case, why would it be tucked away here like it's something important. Let's tinker around with it. There's a chance that something will come out like one of those capsule vending machine.」

「If you're going that far, then how about you try it right now? Although structurally, I'm pretty sure it's a life support system.」

I didn't give in to Alice's mumbling, and started to poke around furiously.

But since there wasn't any reaction at all, I started getting a little mad. I looked over my back towards Alice who seemed a little exasperated.

「Since it was like this for a couple hundred years, it's clearly broken. Hitting it is a sure way to fix it right up.」

「There's no helping it. If you'll be satisfied with that, then go for it. If it breaks, we're going to have to run right away, so at least be prepared for that.」

While I heard her and just when I was about to hit the machine, it happened.

「Stop–!」

A shout could be heard coming from the dark hallway.

I wondered what was going on as I turned around…

「You fools, just what were you all planning to do!? Do you even know just how important that device is!?」

The one that was talking to us like that and coming at us as if he was about to eat us alive was a little boy that looked like he was in elementary school.

He looked well dressed, but he had an arrogant face and silver hair. His left and right eyes were two different colors.

…For some reason, I felt like I've seen him around somewhere before.

「What is it, kid? Are you a castle official? I'm someone with a ridiculously high status in the Grace Kingdom, Combatant No. 6-san. If you don't want this to be a diplomatic issue then you better watch your mouth.」

「I'm not related to this country. More importantly… Combatant No. 6? Someone like you? …… Hmm… So Gadalkand lost to someone like this? I guess his appearance was just for show…」

…What's with this arrogant brat? Should I teach him how to properly talk to his elders?

No wait a second, what did he just say?

「Wasn't Gadalkand the name of the general from the Demon King's Army that I took down? Is his name well known enough for even a stupid brat like you to know?」

The boy started laughing as if he was looking down on me.

「So it's true. Just like what I heard from Heine. You don't seem to have a good head on your shoulders. My name is Russell. That's right, the one known as Russell of the Water, one of the Demon King's Army Four Heavenly Kings, is me!」

Russell said those words with an annoying smirk on.

He started screaming as a result of me grabbing his face with an iron grip.

「— — —Whwhat's going on over here, Russell!? Just what are you…… Ah! It's you!?」

While I was disciplining the kid that called himself a general of the Demon King's Army, I heard a certain familiar voice behind me.

While I turned around to look at the owner of the voice— —

「Got you—!」

「Uwahhh!? Hold on!? Wait…!」

Standing there was definitely one of the generals of the Demon King's Army, Heine of the Flame.

I had no clue why she was here. I threw Russell off of me, and tackled down Heine while she was frozen from surprise.

「Hahahahahaha! I don't know why you've wandered over here, but you're all out of luck being here in a defenseless state!」

「Oi Alice, have a pair of handcuffs teleported over right away!」

「Okay!」

「Stop! Oi, No. 6, you're misunderstanding the situation! I didn't come here as an enemy trying to cause humanity's downfall, I came here as the Demon King-sama's amba.s.sador!」

Heine desperately shouted that from the ground while I was on top of her.

「Hey No. 6, the handcuffs have arrived.」

「Good job, Alice. I'll get Heine's hands behind her back, so cuff her. 」

「Wait, listen to what I-!」

I had Heine in a bear hug so she couldn't move her body, then forcibly moved her hands behind her back.

「No. 6, since the handcuffs are on, it's fine for you to get off her now.」

「Now, listen to what I have to say! … O-oi No. 6? Isn't it fine now that you've detained me? O-oi, isn't your breathing getting rougher!? Russell! Russell! Help me, Russell!!」

I immediately rolled us over and used Heine as a s.h.i.+eld.

「Ugah! R-Russell… You…!」

「Heine!? Ah, no, I was just trying to help you…!」

As soon as I sensed killing intent behind me, I used Heine to s.h.i.+eld myself. It seems like Russell was preparing an attack.

As a result of being used as a s.h.i.+eld, Heine was. .h.i.t with some kind of magic on her back. Her face was twisted in pain.

「What are you trying to do, you brat!? To think you'd attack someone you just met, you d.a.m.n b.a.s.t.a.r.d!」

「Wow No. 6, do you not remember your own actions three minutes ago?」

Alice said something that I couldn't really understand, but I got up to my feet while still using Heine as a s.h.i.+eld.

I kept Heine as my s.h.i.+eld as I slowly closed the distance between Russell and me while he was pale-faced from wounding his comrade.

「Oi Heine, even if you're part of an evil organization, you should choose your comrades wisely, you know? This kid just attacked someone from behind even though it's the first time he's met him, and he also didn't even hesitate when he wounded you. I've never seen such a fiend before.」

「No. 6, do you ever look in the mirror… Nevermind, I don't want to say any more than this.」

I was trying to console Heine. Alice, once again, mumbled something that I couldn't understand.

「Well, anyways, after coming all the way to this foreign nation's castle! I caught a lewd general! It's time for the main event, the fun questioning time. Heh heh heh, Heine-san? It's not like you don't know what happens to a female general after getting captured by the enemy, right?」

TN: A Pokemon reference, No. 6 is using Ash' trademark saying after he catches a pokemon "[Pokemon Name] getto da ze".  So in English, it's "I caught a [Pokemon Name]".

「N-N-No. 6, wait…! This time, w-we're really here for…! And your hands have been touching my b.r.e.a.s.t.s for a while now…!」

Every time I touched Heine's body, I could hear the narration in my head telling me that my atrocity points have increased.

「Good, No. 6, just fall until you can't fall anymore. Show me the essence of a shameless and cowardly small fry.」

Ignoring the trembling and crying Heine and the noisy Alice, I turned my gaze towards Russell.

「So, who are you? You're telling me that there aren't enough qualified members in the Demon King's Army that a shameless and cowardly brat had to be made a general?」

「Wh-what's your problem!? Calling me things like a coward and shameless! Even a human wouldn't want to hear those things! 」

{Atrocity points have been added}

It seems like Russell is weak to taunting. His face was very red as he objected to what I said.

「Now let Heine go! I've heard about you. You captured the impregnable Duster Tower and took down Gadalkand! But really, you used some cowardly methods, right!?」

「Stop it Russell! Don't provoke this man! And No. 6, stop touching my body every time you say something! Really, stop doing that!」

{Atrocity points have been added}

While I dragged Heine, I drew the gun on my waist.

「Hey brat, do you understand? Out of all the generals running rampant in this world, I can't accept a little brat like you as a general. You're going to say something like, 『Hey, can I make this guy my toy?』 or 『Ah, this isn't fun anymore. I'm bored of it now so should I break him now.』 I already know.」

「Those cases…! Don't happen very often! More importantly, let Heine go now! If you want to fight me, then I'll be your opponent. So don't pick on my comrade anymore!」

{Atrocity points have been added}

It seems like this kid doesn't understand what my weapon is.

Even if he's an enemy general, getting rid of a little kid weighs on my conscience. But this is also a part of the tough world of working for an evil organization.

I aimed the gun at Russell, and just when I was about to pull the trigger…

「Hey No. 6, listen to what I have to say! I came to this nation officially as an amba.s.sador. If you attack him, then the relations.h.i.+p between your country and this country will be strained! And stop fondling my b.r.e.a.s.t.s now!」

While my captured hostage, Heine, was desperately trying to appeal to me, the sound of the narration, that notified me of my atrocity points increasing, could be heard.

Part 6

「Oraaaaaah! Oi old man, explain this situation! You b.a.s.t.a.r.d, are you looking down on Kisaragi!? Traitors will be punished, you fool!」

「Wh-whwhat's going on!? Guards! Guards-!」

I rushed for Engel as soon as I returned to the venue.

「"What's going on" is my line, you fart! Isn't your side also selling water spirit stones to the demons? Huh? Furthermore, I heard you also made an alliance with them? Is that it, you've joined hands with the demons in order to attack us? Huh?」

「Ah, have you met with Heine-dono while she's visiting the castle? You said your name was No. 6 right? Listen to what I have to say.」

In the middle of the venue, probably because his knees weren't that great, he was sitting down on an extravagant chair. Engel, with Snow sticking right to him, nodded his head as if to calm down.

After hearing that, Snow looked very startled as she lunged herself at Engel.

「Engel-sama, what is going on right now!? More importantly, why is Heine of the Flame in this castle!? If No. 6 is telling the truth, our nation won't remain silent!」

「Snow-dono, I'll explain everything right now. What No. 6 said about being in an alliance with the demons is a misunderstanding. It's just a nonaggression pact. And regarding the demons… They're able to communicate with us and they're quite intelligent. I can say this from negotiating with them. Surprisingly, talks went well.」

So that's what it was. This guy saw an opportunity since he was neutral in this.

If I think about it, it's not like such nations didn't exist back on Earth.

Even though they knew Kisaragi was an evil organization, they didn't stand against us right away. They would watch over the uncertain situation on the sidelines, and once the winner and loser was obvious, they'd side with the winner.

I don't know if that's really diplomacy, but most of the nations that did that were never really in a proper state.

In the far future, we'd find various openings to exploit. Once the unequal treaty is signed, they'd lose their country.  

This is without a doubt the case, since we've actually done that.

「Of course, we have no intention to attack your kingdom. From the start, do you know why the demons even started a war? Their territory was eroded by the giant demon known as the Sand King. They didn't have a choice. Our country will act as the bridge, so what do you think about a reconciliation between your kingdom and the demons'?」

Engel said that and shook his head as if to show compa.s.sion, but Snow shouted to refute what he said.

「As long as the Sand King exists, the habitable lands within the demons' country will continue to decrease! Since they want land, reconciliation won't be possible!」

I don't know what a Sand King is, but it seems like as long as he exists, the demons' country will eventually end up as a desert.

So in order to acquire new land, there's no other option but to invade other places.

That's right, they have the same goal as us of invading this planet.

「I mean, if you feel so strongly about that, we would even accept a ceasefire.」

I looked towards the venue entrance where the voice was coming from. Heine was standing there with her hands still handcuffed behind her back.

Now that I think about it, after hearing her story, I forgot about uncuffing her and rushed my way here.

「You, how dare you talk of reconciliation! Do you even know how many good soldiers died during the last fight!? They were all good people. Hiss, who planned along with me to embezzle public money… Morek, who always sent me bribes… And most importantly, I still haven't forgotten my resentment from that time you melted my sword Iceberg! 」

With the blood rus.h.i.+ng to her head, Snow slowly revealed things that shouldn't be said.

Heine had an alluring smile while she stood right next to Engel.

「We also lost Gadalkand, so aren't we the same? Also, with Engel-sama's help, we may be able to deal with the Sand King, because there may be something that could deal with it in the ancient ruins of this nation. The reason for us to come here was to investigate the ruins.」

…… Ancient ruins?

Is she referring to the ruins that Tirris mentioned?

As if to answer my suspicious, Engel continued on with the explanation.

「To sum it up, if the Sand King is dealt with, there will no longer be a reason for the Demon King's Army to fight with us. What do you think, Snow-dono? Our nation didn't betray yours, rather, we are trying to help the Grace Kingdom that was being pushed back for quite some time. So this is the proposal that we've come up with. However…」

At that point, his expression looked a little sad.

「However, Snow-dono didn't recognize our sincerity. No, instead, to think that you'd threaten us…」

Snow couldn't say anything to Engel as he shook his head to show his disappointment.

Standing besides Engel, Heine was smiling as if she was aiming for this moment.

「I heard from Engel-sama. Your side momentarily stopped importing water spirit stones right? Since the kingdom of Tirris wasn't sure of where to sell them now, we've decided to take over the purchase of water spirit stones. After going that far, you didn't come here to ask for the imports to resume, did you?」

So that's it. Since the need for water spirit stones overlapped, the Demon King's Army took advantage of that front.

「You said your name was Snow, right? Heh heh, is it really fine for you to act so tough right now? In the worst case scenario, wouldn't that turn the Demon King's Army and the kingdom of Toris against you? 」

「Ugh… Ugh…!」

As if realizing she was at a disadvantage, Snow was grinding her teeth in anger.

Then, as if she had an idea, she grabbed Engel's arm and started leaning her body on him…

「Engel-sama is going to choose the Grace kingdom, right? Mhm, I was talking to you rudely before, but I've always trusted Engel-sama to make the right choice. Now, as proof of our friends.h.i.+p, let's have a good time together!」

「O-oi you, are you really going that far for your country!? En-Engel-sama, me as well, have a, um, good time…」

Somehow, a close contest for Engel-sama erupted suddenly.

There's something wrong about this.

「Oi Heine! To think that you'd try to get Engel-sama in a honey trap, and you call yourself a general of the Demon King's Army!? Have some shame! Engel-sama, am I not charming!?」

「Y-you're the one trying to pull a honey trap! E-Engel-sama met with me first, so you should be the one dropping out! Engel-sama's going to choose me, right!?」

This is so weird on so many fronts, there's something wrong with this.

Beautiful girls fighting over you wouldn't normally happen to an old man, but to someone like me.

Engel, who became a protagonist of a harem story, looked like he wasn't charmed by either of them. With an unaffected expression,

「I'm happy for how both of you feel about me, but I don't think this is the right thing to do in order to influence diplomacy.」

「What's going on!? You're completely different from the Engel-sama mentioned in the various rumors going around!?」

「It was just yesterday when you were ogling my b.r.e.a.s.t.s; so why are you looking like you've attained enlightenment all of a sudden!? Just what happened in that short time period!?」

With a sage-like expression, Engel-sama wasn't tempted at all from their attempted honey traps.

「For some reason, I suddenly felt like I was born again just before the party started. I wondered why I lived my life as a materialistic person that only thought of girls as objects up to now. I was very disgusted at myself…」

「Engel-sama, really, what happened to you!? You're really a completely different person from the one that Tirris-sama told me of beforehand!?」

「Last night, you were even making some s.e.xually hara.s.sing remarks at me. I don't understand why you suddenly changed your att.i.tude!」

Engel kept his cool even though he was being reproached by the two girls.

As a man, this situation makes me jealous enough to grind my teeth, but unexpectedly, this man might not be normal.

However…

「Engel-sama! My personality may be a little too much, but I have confidence in my face and body! Instead of some demon from who knows where, wouldn't it be best between humans!?」

Feeling the fear of losing her supplier, Snow approached him with frenzied eyes.

So was she aware that there's something wrong with her own personality?

「What!? En-Engel-sama! I'm the type to give all my effort, so, so I'm… Uh… Um…」

Even though she was frightened of what Snow was saying, Heine didn't even think of losing as she continued on with her own honey trap.

But…

「Now, now, such difficult ladies… I told you I have no interest…」

While saying what a protagonist with a nonexistent libido would say, he took a glance at me and gave me a smirk as if to say he won…

…This must be what they mean by a sense of defeat.

Just like when I stood in line for limited-edition goods, and the store sold the last one to the customer right in front of me.

Just like when I heard the Kisaragi executives were bathing and I went to go peek, but I ended up being disgusted after seeing Tiger-Man's naked body.

Just like when the combatants who joined after me, surpa.s.sed me and advanced ahead with their careers.

And just like when I'm chased around by heroes.

But, as if it wouldn't lose to any of those things, the sense of defeat I feel from this man in front of me was terrifying.

「What is it, No. 6? You look like you're resolved to do something. You're not thinking of doing anything strange are you?」

Alice was poking me from behind while she cautioned me.

「Sorry, Alice. I'm going to do something unreasonable, will you stick with me? This is something a man can't leave alone.」

「I don't really understand, but I'm your partner, and a fellow comrade from an evil organization. So rest a.s.sured, no matter what kind of evil act you commit, I'll stick with you until the end.」

As if she could understand my resolve, Alice said to me something that almost brought me to tears.

It's okay now. I have a reliable partner.

No matter what happens, she will definitely figure something out.

「You, the general from the Demon King's Army, Heine! Now that I think about it, I didn't like you from the first time I met you! The sight of you flirting around with men by flaunting that uselessly big chest! I thought it was only your character that overlapped with mine, but to think that you'd aim for the same men as me…! 」

「I've never flaunted them! And what do you mean flirting around, how rude! From the start, I highly doubt that my character overlaps with someone like you! I don't have anywhere near that much greed!」

Ignoring the two that were just about to start a fight over him, the person in question had a composed look.

I started to approach Engel.

「Engel, your majesty. The mood's gotten a little dangerous here, may I display one of my party tricks here?」

「Party tricks? Oh? I heard from Snow-dono that you were excellent in regards to combat. So you can do something like that as well? Then by all means, lighten up the mood here. 」

As if it was a reversal of situation, Engel's way of talking changed.

As soon as I received permission from Engel, who looked like he wasn't expecting much, I started grabbing everyone's attention…

「Someone like you, aren't you the pervert that let No. 6 take what was basically p.o.r.nographic pictures of you when we fought before!? Engel-sama, it'd be wise to steer clear of this immodest woman. Unlike her, I have a pure body that can still ride a unicorn…!」

「D-don't be ridiculous, you think I wanted to show that sight of me!? It was No. 6 from your side that-…!」

I left the two people that were on the verge of hitting each other, and I went behind Engel.

「Huh? Wouldn't this make me unable to see No. 6-dono's talent?」

I didn't really listen to what he said. The sight of me reaching for my zipper clued everyone in on what I was about to do.

「Oi No. 6. You're not actually-…」

Although she's an android, Alice showed a troubled expression.

While listening to Alice's voice, I— —!

「Then I'll begin, your majesty. This is probably the most famous killer move pa.s.sed down from my country!」

「— —Topknot hairstyle!」

{Atrocity points have been added}

【Declaration of War】

The emissaries of your kingdom have made threats towards a friendly nation and committed a rude act on Prince Engel. We cannot overlook this, and thus, the Kingdom of Toris will prepare to go to war against the Grace Kingdom. This declaration of war is to announce that.

Continuing on, the export of water spirit stones to your kingdom will be prohibited, and further economic sanctions will be imposed.

If the Grace Kingdom has any intention to apologize for this matter, then the two emissaries responsible for this will be handed over to us.

If that doesn't happen, then we are more than willing to use force against your kingdom, and retaliate with blood.

All the lads out there. If you're a man, never lose your 

To the ladies, don't sell yourselves short like Snow.

Seriously, what's the downfall of a country or two as long as you keep your pride.

Finally done with Chapter 2, sorry it took so long. Been really busy. But d.a.m.n, if only I won the megamillions earlier this week, I could've hired a professional translator ? d.a.m.n it.

Instead the slow pace will continue, and hopefully the volume will be finished by the end of the year.

Also big thanks to Ulti and other people who helped translate some of the moon runes!

Also here's the new progress page for chapter 3! 

Join us at  to see when we go live with updates!

Until next time~

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