How Could This Cat Tease Me? Chapter 1

Translator: Vemmy I will confess right here and now that I've been translating this chapter for 2 weeks.  The only reason it's taken so long is because I had 80% translated two weeks ago but I couldn't work up the motivation to finish the last bit XD of like….. 1k words until earlier this week.  Its a teaser only~ no promise I'll continue this novel. I swear I'm not this unreliable all the time ^_^

"Do you mean to go public?”

Xia Rong tightly gripped the phone that felt as if it was burning and asked, unwilling to give up.

The Guan Ling Qing at the other end of the signal was evidently impatient, repeating:

"I said, lets break up."

Xia Rong and Guan Ling Qing had been dating for three months now.  As two of the popular newcomers in the entertainment circle, the man is handsome and the woman is beautiful, their positions were suitable, even Xia Rong himself felt that they were a golden couple [1].  Who would have thought that after being lovey dovey for only three months, Guan Ling Qing would break up with him over the phone.

"Why? Where am I not good enough?" Xia Rong questioned, unresigned.

"Xia Rong, you are handsome and rich, but you don't have any ambition at all.  Are you planning on acting the role of "Mr. Perfect" [2] in those idol dramas for the rest of your life?  I'm different from you, I have goals: I want film movies, I want to act in serious dramas.  You're too naive, I feel that you and I have no common language.

"No one asks me to act in those dramas, what can I do about it?  I've started accepting variety shows recently, I'm in the hotel arranged by the program right now.  Also, is it not enough to be handsome and rich? I…"

Beep……Beep……

It seems that Guan Ling Qing didn't want to waste any more words with him and directly hung up.

"Is it my fault that I'm handsome and rich?"

Xia Rong angrily mumbled, throwing his phone to the other side of the sofa.  He and Guan Ling Qing developed feelings through a drama, he was the "Mr. Perfect" and she was the strong and kind commoner who was full of vigour. During the filming, Guan Ling Qing's eyes were like those of a little doe, sparkling, full of purity and innocence.  At first glance, Xia Rong immediately felt that this little deer had run into his heart, causing him to quickly fall into the river of love.

Only three months have pa.s.sed, the girl who had been innocent like a little deer was already nowhere to be seen.  Instead, there was a cold heartless voie over the phone, the Guan Ling Qing who had an air of superiority.

Xia Rong was really very heart broken.

He sadly buried his face into his pillows, remembering the sweet and happy times of the past three months.  A little while later, he picked up his pillows, dragging himself up to reach for the other side of the sofa, picking up the phone that he had thrown not long ago, opened an APP and ordered takeout.

How depressing, he's very hungry right now.  Might as well eat first and then continue being sad.

"Ding Dong", the company immediately accepted the order and informed him that the approximate time of delivery was about half an hour later.  Xia Rong had nothing to do in this half hour so he scrolled through Weibo while laying on the couch. However, just as his gaze swept over the first article in the hot topic section, he couldn't help swearing, ” f.u.c.k!? What the heck!"

The number one hot topic: Su Chi nominated for the Golden Cat's Best Male Lead award.

Speaking of someone that Xia Rong absolutely does not want to hear good news about during his period of break up, it is none other than Su Chi.

And it just had to be the nomination for one of the domestic awards that few newcomers can touch!

Xia Rong and Su Chi have enmity between them, probably doomed to be so from their names.  One has fire, one has water [3], incompatible as fire and water, starting from the beginning of their careers.

Xia Rong debuted through a talent compet.i.tion.  Despite having a background with money and influence, he didn't allow his dad to interfere at all, relying on his own hard work to win first place.  But on the night of the finals, Su Chi's first idol drama had its grand finale and all of the audience had gone to watch the male and female leads scatter dog food. "《x.x.xx》ending” forcefully squeezed him from the first place in the hot search.

After Xia Rong won first place, although popularity increased, the music scene flourished less day by day so he could only switch to acting idol dramas.  The result was that his idol drama had the same airing date as Su Chi's ancient costume Xian Xia drama. Idol dramas are cliche and common but the costume drama had the novel's large IP base, with reliable directing, excellent and imposing costume, its ratings easily suppressed Xia Rong's drama.

These aren't that important, what was the most annoying was, at a leap year New Year's evening banquet, when Xia Rong and Su Chi were both backstage, he saw that on Su Chi's jacket, there was a hole on the lower back and thought that Su Chi didn't notice.  Xia Rong is a very enthusiastic and warm hearted person so he immediately took a herbal plaster from his bag (which he had kept due to recent back pains) and stuck it on with a "pa".

"No need to thank me!"

Su Chi stumbled forward from his pat, turned his head to glance first at the herbal plaster and then at him before saying, "As long as you're happy."

Xia Rong vigorously responded, "No! I must make you happy too!"

The hard to explain [5] expression on Su Chi's face at the time, he still remembers.  It was only later that Xia Rong learnt that the hole was so that prop wings could be attached for Su Chi's stage special effect.

Thinking about it now, that glance is probably called 'showing concern for an idiot'.

Anyways, from then on, every time he and Su Chi appeared at the same venue, even if the other didn't act any differently, he always had this feeling of his intelligence being looked down upon.  After a long time, with more and more ill-fated meetings, Xia Rong cannot help but view Su Chi as someone sent by the heavens to be his nemesis, a nemesis who, until this date, lives more and more impressively.

Xia Rong had just picked up his side account to forward the news with the comment 'I hate' when his door was knocked on.  His phone also rang, informing him that his food has arrived.

Dragging his slippers, Xia Rong opened the door, received his food, gave his thanks, closed the door, movements fluid, without hesitation–

Wait.

With the takeout still in his hands, Xia Rong opened the door again, not looking in front of him this time but looking down at the ground:

Why is there a cat collapsed here?

POV Change: Su Chi

Su Chi felt that he was going to die.

When he arrived at the hotel arranged by the program, he had already continuously worked for a day and night.  Thankfully, the filming is scheduled to start the day after, he still have an afternoon and a night to catch up on sleep.  However, when he arrived at the parking lot, he was really too sleepy so he leaned on the steering wheel to nap for a bit.

Who would have thought that when he opened his eyes, he was already not a human.

He had turned into a cat.  From his limited field of view, he can roughly guess that he was a silver short haired cat.  When he woke up, he was sprawled under a pile of his own clothing, almost dead. He struggled out, using his paws to skillfully pry out the phone in his jacket pocket.  However, in an age of touch screen cell phones, after using the side of his paws to prod at the b.u.t.ton and turning the screen on with great difficulty, he couldn't unlock the phone even after he patted the screen till his paw pads turned numb.  Calling or texting is even more impossible.

Fortunately, he remembers that his manager Han Liang Hao should have already arrived at the hotel by now, he could try getting the latter's help.

Su Chi wasted tremendous strength [6], jumping up and down multiple times, to pry out the push b.u.t.ton that locked the car.  He leapt out of the car, quickly running in the direction of the hotel elevator. Taking advantage of the moment a staff member who was playing on his phone was getting on the elevator, Su Chi slipped in.  He shrank into a corner, opening his cat eyes wide, raising his head, waiting until the numbers above his head turned to 17. The instant the elevator door opened, he quickly slipped out.

He remembered that the entire cast for 《Lu Shan Bo and Romeo》lived on the 17th floor.

"Who let a cat come in!" The staff member turned pale with fright [7], walking forward to to chase him out.

Su Chi quickly fled.  Even though he, as a new cat, wasn't quite familiar with running, but four legs run faster than two.  After leading the worker in two large laps around the floor, the other party decided to temporarily give up, cursing as he took the elevator down to find security.

Su Chi knew that he should find a place to hide at this time but when he woke up, he had already felt that his body had no energy, then after getting to the 17th floor and crazily fleeing for two laps, he was completely exhausted.  He ran slower and slower, in the end, his legs went soft and he collapsed onto the soft carpet.

Being picked up by Xia Rong was completely unexpected.

He knew that Xia Rong was very enthusiastic, or else he wouldn't have not mocked Xia Rong before walking away that year after the latter did something as stupid as 'putting herbal plaster on his costume'.  However, he also remembers that Xia Rong has always not liked him too much, seeing the latter wrinkling his brows and having a stern expression right after appearing, he didn't think that in this life or death situation, Xia Rong would be the one to save him.

Even if he's just a cat now and Xia Rong doesn't know who he is.

Xia Rong carried him back to the room, setting him down on the sofa.  Su Che sprawled himself on his back. Except for the front and back paws which shook a little with the rise and fall of his belly, he could almost be mistaken for a dead cat.

Xia Rong sat on the other side of the sofa, playing with his sofa while resting his feet on the coffee table, as if he has already completely forgotten about the cat at its last gasps on the other side of the sofa.

After a while, he got up, picking up his jacket, phone and room key, walked over to the coat room to change his shoes and left.  The room door was shut with no hesitation, making a 'Peng' sound.

Su Chi stared at the ceiling and calmly thought to himself, to be picked up and given a place to temporarily recover, he should be satisfied, what else am I expecting?

POV Change: Xia Rong

"Look — I brought something back for you~!"

Xia Rong proudly shook the bags in his hands.  After he Baidu'd, he went to a nearby pet store to buy powdered milk for cats, wet food and a food dish made for cat use.  He crouched, humming as he mixed the powdered milk with water, adding small amounts of canned cat food and mixing it before calling out, "Come eat!"

The cat had originally sprawled itself on its back into a cat pancake, ever since he came in with the stuff, those pitch black eyes had been unblinkingly staring at him.  Xia Rong saw his exhausted form, hesitantly asking, "Can you still move? How about I spoon feed you?"

It seems to be able to understand human speech, spiritedly flicking its ears before flipping over and jumping down the sofa.  Although it was weak, its movements were nimble and graceful. Its fur was sleek and soft with distinctive patterns, very pretty.  Xia Rong took advantage of when it had immersed itself in the food to carefully pat its back with a finger. Soft, smooth and warm to the touch, very clean, unlike a stray.

"Who raised you?" Xia Rong asked while crouching.

It turned its head to glance at Xia Rong, dark brown eyes seemed to be expressing 'You really think I can speak human?'

Xia Rong couldn't help smiling, feeling that the him who was trying to communicate with a cat was crazy.  He picked up his phone, selected the beauty filter, and took a few pictures of the cat immersed in eating.  He called his manager, "Sister Yi, I found a cat at the hotel, I'll send the pictures to you in a bit, if you have time, could you print them and hand them to the hotel front desk to see if someone lost their cat?"

"Picked up a cat?" Shu Yi on the other side wrinkled her brows, "Who brings their cat to the hotel? Could it be a stray cat that ran in?"

"Definitely not a stray!" Xia Rong was very resolute, "Its very clean and pretty, you'll understand after seeing the picture."

"Okay.  Don't just pay attention to the cat, properly think about how to perform tomorrow for the variety show." Shu Yi earnestly advises, "this time, Su Chi is in the same show.  Our team doesn't need to advertise, all of the large media accounts (on weibo) have started comparing the two of you. If you screw up, the entire internet will mock you for being inferior to the other.  Don't accuse me of not warning you ahead of time. "

"I'll perform how I'm supposed to perform! Ai, don't talk about it anymore, just thinking about Su Chi is annoying!"

Xia Rong mutters as he hung up, scratching the chin of the cat that had raised its head to look at him with his fingers, "You're much cuter after all."

Su Chi who had turned into a cat: …. …

Immediately after finis.h.i.+ng the call with his manager, his good friend's call came through. "Xia Rong, you broke up with Guan Ling Qing?"

"f.u.c.k, Chen Yu, even preternatural hearing wouldn't have heard about this as fast as you!"  Xia Rong is completely impressed by this good friend's gift in gossiping.

"I heard recently that Liang Kai has been pursuing Guan Ling Qing, they just interacted (flirted) on Weibo, so I had guessed that you guys broke up." Cheng Yu lazily explained, "Its very obvious."

"Interacted? What kind of interaction!" Xia Rong shouted, "Could it be that I have a patch of green above my head right now?!"

Chen Yu responded, "Nothing too out of line, teasing back and forth at the most, I don't think its green yet.  If you don't believe me, go check it yourself."

"Never mind, there's nothing to see. We've split up already." Xia Rong deflated, "Gone away from me is the day of yesterday that cannot be held on to [8] - I'll just treat it as feeding the past three months to a dog.”

"Do you actually like Guan Ling Qing?  You can tell at a glance that she's very ambitious, her mental age is at least ten years older than you."

"The entertainment circle is so mess, a girl like her has it tough, there's nothing wrong with having ambition.  Also, she was so beautiful in the drama, fresh, pure and kind." Speaking until here, Xia Rong was once again overcome by grief.  He grabbed a pillow and buried his face in, "Even now, I can't bear to speak of her unpleasantly."

Cheng Yu was quiet temporarily, Xia Rong suddenly felt moisture on the back of his hand.  Raising his head, he saw that the cat he picked up had jumped onto the sofa after it finished its food and was comfortingly licking his hand.

Being licked by the barbed tongue of a cat, there was a numbing itchy feeling on his hand.  Sensing that Xia Rong has raised his head, the cat also looked in his direction with those dark brown eyes.

"You're practically a spirit, practically a warm man[9]…" Xia Rong reached out to scratch its chin, "Until your owner find you, I will call you Nuan Nuan[10], okay?"

It was as if the cat could really understand, using a paw with claws sheathed to slap away Xia Rong's hand, it very clearly expressed its dislike for the name.

“How picky, you don't like this name?"  Xia Rong ill-humouredly rubbed his chin, "Then I'll call you Po Po [11]."

'Po Po' was clearly displeased with this name, big eyes narrowing slightly with chin faintly raised, the vivid expressions on that cat face could compare to that of a human.  Unexpectedly, the aloof expression seemed to reveal some…handsomeness?

"Oh no, Cheng Yu!"  Xia Rong sat up straight in shock, turning his back, he complained to his good friend, "Is it because I've been single for so long that I saw the features of a cat as pretty and delicate?!"

"… …" Cheng Yu paused for only a second, "Nonsense [12]!"

A knock on Xia Rong's door came simultaneously with Cheng Yu's ridicule, "Xia Rong, its me."

It was Shu Yi's voice, looking at the time, she should have indeed arrived by now.

Xia Rong quickly said his goodbyes, standing up to open the door for his family's manager.

As he stood up, he felt that there was something wrong.  A strange male suddenly sounded, almost at the exact same time (that he felt something was off).

"…Don't open the door yet!"

Xia Rong's entire body was stiff, countless scenes from the supernatural films he had watched in the past surfaced.  Jinxes, cursed soul possessions, he isn't a human, he really isn't a human right now!

(T/n: I have no idea, "大衰神、诅咒之灵在这一刻灵魂附体，他不是一个人，他现在真的不是一个人啊！ ！" is the original text, I'd appreciate it if someone helps me understand whatever it's trying to say.)

After he robotically turned his head, what he saw was a completely naked man sitting on his couch, an expression of anxiety and sincerity on his face.

Xia Rong's face was ashen, "f.u.c.k! SuSuSu Su Chi! Why are you in my room! And, and not wearing clothes!"

Su Chi, "I am the cat you just brought home!"

"Only a ghost would believe you ah!"

"There is no other explanation!"

"……You are a cat demon?"

"……No! This isn't important!" Su Chi is very obviously about to break down, "Let me find a place to hide, I don't want to meet your manager without wearing clothes!"

"Oh, Oh……" Xia Rong subconsciously pointed towards his bedroom, "You,  you hide in the bedroom for now……"

Su Chi doesn't waste anymore words, immediately das.h.i.+ng into the bedroom.

Seeing the nimble, vigourous figure from behind, it really did kind of resemble the handsome cat he picked up.  Also, looking at the wide shoulders narrow hips, long legs and slim waist, that figure is actually amazing…..Xia Rong foolishly blanked out for a second while looking at Su Chi's back.  He immediately spat 'pei pei' when his mind returned, what are you even thinking about!

When the door was finally opened, Shu Yi has already been knocking for a while.  She stood with her arms crossed, suspiciously sizing up Xia Rong, "Why did it take such a long time?"

…Xia Rong turned around to head back into his suite, "No, nothing ah, I was eating takeout."

Shu Yi followed him into the room, glance landing on the untouched takeout on the coffee table before seeing the bag on top.  She narrowed her eyes and asked, "Guan Ling Qing came over?"

Shu Yi was familiar with Xia Rong's parents, it was due to their request that she took care of Xia Rong when he first entered the entertainment circle, having watched over Xia Rong for so long, she was like one of his elders.  She worries and nags, but Xia Rong also knows that it's all for his good and so he doesn't hide anything from her.

"No, I just broke up with her!"  Xia Rong finally has some confidence, "How could she come!"

"En." Shu Yi's expression slightly loosens, "I've told you long ago that she isn't suitable for you."  Walking closer to the bag, she could see what was in the bag. She suddenly remembers what Xia Rong had told her over the phone, "You picked up a cat, right?  How come I haven't seen it?"

"Ah? Cat, cat……" Xia Rong's gaze subconsciously drifts towards the bedroom, "I've returned the cat to the owner……"

"I haven't even sent the photos to front desk yet and you've already found the owner?"  Having looked after Xia Rong for almost three years, Shu Yi is very familiar with his expression when he has a guilty conscience and she looks meaningfully at the bedroom door.

"Yes ah, haha, found them almost immediately, very timely……" Xia Rong's face was almost numb from the forced smile, seeing that s.h.i.+ Yi looked in the direction of the bedroom, he couldn't help but be nervous, "Let's not talk about that lousy cat, did you come to talk to me about work? Let us talk about tomorrow's schedule!"

"Schedule?" Shu Yi coldly laughed, "How about we send you to the zoo as a goodwill amba.s.sador tomorrow?"

Taking advantage of Xia Rong's dumbfound moment, Shu Yi swiftly stood up and quickly walked over to the bedroom in her heels, pus.h.i.+ng the door open with a 'pa', "or are you are you having a hook up today?"  (T/n: I'm not quite sure what's going on, I think she was suggesting he's an animal and wanted to mate? I have no idea, I'm imagining pandas rn)

She had been asked by Xia Rong's parents to absolutely not let him mix with the promiscuous side of the entertainment circle and sleep around.  She intended to give him a scare this time, let him learn from this experience. Most of the women in the circle weren't shy about this kind of thing, even if it's someone relatively thin skinned, they were both female, she'll apologize to the other party later and it won't make life difficult for each other.  Her scheme was sound but who knew that after opening the door, both the people inside and outside the room were stunned.

The three people stared at each other.

Su Chi: ……

Xia Rong: ……

Shu Yi: ……

In the end, it was the super capable woman with a mentality stronger than that of any normal human who spoke first—

Shu Yi took a step back, gazing at Xia Rong with her voice slightly shaking, "You broke up once, why did your s.e.xuality change as well?"

The author has words to say: First chapter of a new piece（づ￣3￣）づ╭?～！ ！Don't side with the wrong cp, Su Chi is the Gong! Is the Gong! Gong! (T/n: Important things need to be said three times)

[1]金童玉女 (jīn tóng yù nǚ) – An idiom translated as "Golden Boy and Jade Girl", means a lovely couple

[2]高富帅 (gāo fù shuài) – internet slang, refers to the tall, rich and handsome

[3]熔(Rong) has 火(Fire) and 池(Chi) has 水(Water)

[4]狗粮 (gǒu liáng) – slang, refers to publicly display affection

[5]一言难尽 (yī yán nán jìn) – idiom meaning hard to explain in few words, complicated, unspeakable.

[6]九牛二虎之力(jiǔ niú èr hǔ zhī lì) – idiom, literally translates using the strength of nine oxens and two tigers.

[7]大惊失色 (dà jīng shī sè) – idiom, basically means panicking

[8] 弃我去者，昨日之日不可留 - A line from "Bidding Farewell to Secretary Shu Yun at Xie Tao Tower in Xuanzhou" By Li Bai.  has an amazing translation, I will umm post it below for your convenience.  Let us all thank Betty Tseng for her hard work.

Gone away from me,

Is the day of yesterday that cannot be held on to;

What disturbs me,

Is the day today happens to be that is full of worries and gloom.

For thousands of miles the wind blows sending autumn geese on their way,

We shall drink to our hearts' content here on a tower with a commanding view.

At the Secretariat you write time-honoured pieces,

Akin to that of Xie Tao they are also refres.h.i.+ng and full of grace,

Harbouring aspirations enthusiastic, brave and lofty,

As if it could lift one into the sky to gaze at the moon up close.

I could brandish my glaive at water but that interrupts not its flow,

I could chalice after chalice drink up to quell the melancholy only to sink further below.

Such is life that hardly expectations satisfy,

Why not let the hair down tomorrow morn and set sail on a little boat.

[9] 暖男 (nuǎn nán) - suns.h.i.+ne boy, a man who is family-oriented, considerate and protective.

[10] 暖暖 (nuǎn nuǎn) - generally a nickname. 暖 means warm, generally Chinese nicknames involve repeating a character.  Tis cute.

[11] 破破 (pò pò) – 破 means broken, damaged, worn out, etc.

[12] 屁 (pì) - translates to 'fart', basically an exclamation, kinda like the wide usage of 's.h.i.+t'.  The meaning in this case is nonsense.

Character Count: 5630