How Could This Cat Tease Me? Chapter 4

《Liang Shan Bo and Romeo》, from the name it could be seen that it was the combination of two famous love story from China and abroad, furthermore, the two female leads, Zhu Ying Tai and Juliet, were 'abandoned', while Liang Shan Bo and Romeo were 'joined' together; it was both familiar and novel, moreover, it could arouse the endless imagination of the online 'rotten culture'.  From the moment the programme proposal was revealed, the variety show's online publicity remained high.

Now, be it variety, film, or drama, selling a bit of inconsequential rotten material was popular, it created more topics for conversation and curried favor with the audience.  Controlled to just the right amount, many people would call it "cute" and it would attract a group of excitable fans[1]; once there's too much, it would be denounced as awkward, greasy, going crazy from wanting to be popular, etc. so there is a subtle line between 'rotten' and 'not rotten', it would rely on the guests and program team to control themselves.

This distinguis.h.i.+ng feature of 《Liang Shan Bo and Romeo》 was also reflected from the celebrity guest line up: Su Chi and Xia Rong were well-known sworn enemies, needless to say, they would undoubtedly be the program's main focal point; the others were not easy to deal with either, they were all 'male G.o.ds' of the new generation in the entertainment circle who enjoyed great popularity——

Ye Mang, like Xia Rong, also debuted from a talent compet.i.tion, except his luck wasn't as good as Xia Rong's.  Because the firm he signed with wasn't reliable, after winning second place in the compet.i.tion, he basically disappeared, hardly appeared in concerts and was always traversing the large casts as a small character.  It wasn't until last year when Ye Mang's contract expired and signed with a new company, that he showed his splendor in an espionage drama that aired during the winter season and once again became popular. Rumour has it that he's so busy that all 24 hours were fully booked; a reporter camped outside of his apartment for half a year and unexpectedly didn't see him return once; people in the circle dubbed him the "frenzied workaholic".

Contrarily, Kang Yi Fan and Zhang Xin should be the two most well-known and well-liked by the ma.s.ses out of all the guests.  Both could be considered child stars: Kang Yi Fan appeared in a period comedy drama that influenced an entire generation of people with the role of a sometimes naughty, sometimes heartwarming little brat.  Now, the brat from those days has grown up, has become an elegant young gentleman, and is once again active on the television screen, naturally winning the audience's favorable impression and amicable feelings.

Zhang Xin, on the other hand, had appeared on a national level parent-child variety show, 《Aiya Dad》, before the age of six.  His father is a famous comedy actor in the country, Zhan Shu Fei. The interactions between father and son were intimate, hilarious but also touching, and was the most popular family on the show that year.  After 《Aiya Dad》, Zhang Xin frequently reported his growth on Weibo, it could be said that the viewers who liked him had watched him grow up and their affection for him was very deep. Although Zhang Xin was only 19 now, his Weibo fans had already broken through ten million[2], after starting his acting career, the resources came smoothly and his value grew with the tide[3].

The guest with the smallest following should be Gao Zun Ming.  He became an instant success after acting in a small scale danmei web series, due to his tall and handsome stature, he played the role of the 'gong' in the danmei drama.  His fans online seem to be deathly loyal and his popularity is high, but because of 'web series brand', and 'selling fu[4] to get popular', he was castigated in the mainstream circle.  However, having fans is always better than not having any, the program team probably looked favorably upon the group of excitable fans supporting him, which could also be considered a type of 'idol effect'.

In short, an all celebrities, moreover, all male celebrities, a large-scale compet.i.tive program designed to showcase the character of the celebrities, it could be seen that Tangerine Channel[5] was very ambitious, they wanted to make it a huge affair.  Although all-celebrity programs cannot air during primetime television due to the 'cutback on TV entertainment'[6], this didn't affect Tangerine Channel's lineup, ample work was put into every aspect of the program.

The so-called 'reality show', has 'reality', and naturally also has 'show', things like play scripts, despite the hundreds of ways every program team used to conceal it, even going as far as to design those realistic "first hand situations", but its not like it's the first time the viewers watched such programs, they have long been unruffled towards all sorts of routines.  As long as the traces aren't too obvious and the viewers aren't treated like idiots, it would still be within the acceptable limits.

Naturally, 《Liang Shan Bo and Romeo》also has a script.

However, the script Xia Rong received seemed a bit rough: He only knew the first season's theme was 'adorable pet', they were to be split into two groups and were to bring the pets a.s.signed to them to complete a series of missions, ultimately achieving the 'motivational' and 'joyous' program effect.  However, how the missions should be completed and how to achieve the program effect, it seems that it would be left completely to them to 'freely express'[7].

Xia Rong knew that the《Liang Shan Bo and Romeo》's post production team was very powerful, especially the almost perfect post production editing, so they had confidence and dared to allow the guests to "free themselves"——however, to free themselves is one thing, what's the meaning of the program team suddenly adding scenes?

… … For example, right after arriving at the set, they required everyone to take off their shoes and have their heights measured, who's idea was this!

If this was another program, Xia Rong wouldn't actually mind, his height was a solid 181(cm), amongst the numerous male stars that had fabricated their heights to just a bit over 180, it surely wasn't something to ridicule.  Unfortunately, in 《Liang Shan Bo and Romeo》, his height actually appeared to be lacking!

There's no need to mention Su Chi, 2 or 3 cm taller than him is still taller; Gao Zun Ming's person was as his name indicated, not only tall, he was also st.u.r.dy, Xia Rong wasn't even on the same level as him; Ye Mang was very tall and skinny, like a straight and slim reed; Kang Yi Fan was even more well nourished, looking abruptly from afar, he was on par with Xia Rong.

Calculating back and forth, only the second generation star, cla.s.smate Zhang Xin who was only 19 this year, let Xia Rong retrieve a little self confidence! However, Zhang Xin seemed to not understand the meaning in Xia Rong's gaze and tilted his head:? What are you looking at?[8]

Xia Rong: … …

Currently, the many seats on set were already fixed and filming began.  Xia Rong saw Su Chi and the others confidently walk forward to have their heights measured by the machine, he wouldn't make a fool of himself, and could only follow, forcing a calm expression as he got measured.

After the director received the numbers, the results were immediately publicized:  Xia Rong was 181 as expected, which proved that the machine could be considered accurate.  Gao Zun Ming was 188, Ye Mang 183, Kang Yi Fan and Xia Rong were even, also 181. Second generation star, student Zhang Xin was at the bottom as Xia Rong expected, 179, but he himself didn't seem to care too much about this number, lightly whistling with his hands in his pockets.

The most unexpected was Su Chi——He was actually a full 185cm!  After hearing this, Xia Rong was a bit disbelieving: he thought Su Chi was 2 to 3 cm taller than him at the most, now it became a full 4 cm difference, what kind of concept was this?  Xia Rong's 181 after rounding[9] to the nearest ten was 180, Su Chi's 185 rounded to 190, after rounding more, the difference was a whole hundred million[10] ah!

Xia Rong turned to Su Chi, "Really didn't expect this".

Really didn't expect that you'd be this tall ah? Obviously, the difference wasn't that apparent when you were wearing my clothes!

Su Chi turned to him, eyes slightly curved, "I also didn't expect it."

——Didn't expect that you were so short.

The gazes of the two met, fiery sparks immediately crackled and flared.

[1]鸡血粉 – 鸡血 means chicken blood, usually used in "injected with chicken blood" which means extremely excited or energetic.  (I've decided that) this phrase refers to fans that are very excitable.

[2] I wish to cry here about the chinese numbering system.  I was so used to the english system that six year old me got mocked by my mom because I thought 万 was million. I am filled with resentment every time.

十-ten

百-hundred

千-thousand

万-ten thousand

十万-hundred thousand

百万-million

千万-ten million

亿-hundred million

[3]水涨船高 – Idiom "The tide rises, the boat floats", means to change with the trend and develop according to the situation.

[4]卖腐 – It was used above but it means to cater to the fujos.h.i.+/fudans.h.i.+ population.

[5]It's 橙子台(Orange Channel) this time but in chapter 2, the author wrote 柳丁台(Tangerine Channel), so I've decided to just call it Tangerine Channel because it sounds better.

[6]限娱令 – Limits the number of entertainment programmes allowed to air on television, from matchmaking game shows to dance broadcasts (so-called low taste entertainment).  In its place, morality-building programs promoting traditional virtues and such will be broadcasted.

[7]自由发挥 – Express their creativity freely, left to their discretion, in other words, improvisation.

[8]？你瞅啥？- This wasn't spoken out loud and it's dialect.  This was not properly expressed in the translation but I guess it's like "Whatchu lookin' at?" that kind of feeling?

[9]四舍五入 – To round up to the nearest integer; to discard four, but treat five as whole.

[10]一个亿 – he's exaggerating, overreacting.

This chapter was so hard T^T all this lingo was the death of me.  It was horrible.  But Su Chi and Xia Rong are so funny XD Apparently this novel has some canto slang, I don't speak canto and thus I'll probably completely miss the point.