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First Love × First Love 3
“Eh?”
I heard Senpai’s bewildered voice .
It made my mouth slacken just a little .
I don’t want to show him my uncool side .
I want to remain at least a little beautiful in Senpai’s memory .
Mobilizing my self-control, I showed a smile as beautiful as possible .
Perhaps he didn’t expected my words, as Senpai blinked his eyes .
“Sakura? What are you”
“Thank you for dating me until now . I wish I could have said it earlier, however I presumed upon Senpai’s kindness . But, it’s enough”
I quickly bowed my head .
My eyes blurred . I love s.h.i.+on-senpai, it’s because I love him that it’s painful .
I can’t yet .
Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry―――― .
“… Do you want to break up with me?”
s.h.i.+on-senpai said just a few words . Desperately resisting my tear glands from loosening, while still bowing I nodded .
“Yes”
I can’t continue going out with s.h.i.+on-senpai who’s like this anymore .
Since he won’t even embrace me naked, I have no confidence that he loves me, so I can’t properly say what I want to say .
In such a situation it’s impossible for me to stay at his side .
“I understand”
After I heard him sigh, s.h.i.+on-senpai gave me brief words of acknowledgement .
While feeling relieved I raised my face .
s.h.i.+on-senpai has his usual expression .
It doesn’t look like he’s particularly shaken .
Somehow, I feel let down .
… I see, he doesn’t think anything about us breaking up .
As I understood that fact, pain spread through my chest .
I look like an idiot .
I had expectations, even if only slight .
―――― I was the only one in love .
It takes two to tango .
Reminded of that again, I told myself that it was for the best .
Since there had been no other choice from the start, I chocked back my tears that welled up .
“… Well then, Senpai . I am grateful to you… Stay well”
“You too”
When I told him that in a trembling voice, he returned only that much .
And then Senpai once again lowered his face and went back to the world of books .
… Ah, see, as expected .
After all I was only that much for Senpai .
Knowing he wouldn’t see it, I once again bowed toward Senpai, and without saying anything quietly left the room .
I had hardly any luggage .
I had no idea about Senpai’s feelings, and was afraid of him breaking up with me, so I didn’t feel like bringing my personal belongings .
I went down the stairs .
Of course, I didn’t hear the sound of being pursued .
Senpai is in the world of books now .
Surely he’s forgotten about me .
Just as she had said, it was only a physical relations.h.i.+p . Our hearts were always distant .
Again I was made to realize that .
Senpai’s apartment that I’d been visiting for a year and a half .
When I went outside, I looked at it once again .
Old outwards appearance . A tiny two-story apartment building, with only half of the ten rooms occupied . I had gone there almost every day .
I had continued going there, hoping one day Senpai would turn around .
In the end, that dream didn’t come true .
“Thank you very much . Senpai . I had fun . I was truly happy… to date Senpai”
I muttered like a soliloquy, and turned my back to Senpai’s apartment .
Senpai’s face as he laughed a little troubledly .
The gentle smile he showed from time to time .
The tense expression he showed when embracing me, I loved every single of them .
I believed I would reach him someday―――― .
Still, the reality isn’t so sweet . Hopeless things are hopeless .
My first love came late .
I’d thought it wouldn’t come true, and yet we stayed together for a year and a half… I can only be grateful now .
Thank you, s.h.i.+on-senpai .
It feels awfully lonely that I won’t be able to see your profile while you’re reading a book, but still, it’s my own choice .
I want to advance without looking back .
I truly, truly loved you .
It was impossible with me, but please one day find somebody you can be happy with .
I prayed for Senpai’s happiness from afar .
Goodbye, Senpai―――― .
I cast my eyes down and took a big breath .
I don’t regret it .
I’ve already decided that Senpai is in my past .
I’ll show that I can convert everything about it into beautiful memories .
Firmly nodding, I took a firm step forward for the sake of turning my finished first love into memories .
First Love × First Love 3.
“Eh?”.
I heard Senpai’s bewildered voice It made my mouth slacken just a little
I don’t want to show him my uncool side I want to remain at least a little beautiful in Senpai’s memory Mobilizing my self-control, I showed a smile as beautiful as possible
Perhaps he didn’t expected my words, as Senpai blinked his eyes
“Sakura? What are you”. “Thank you for dating me until now . I wish I could have said it earlier, however I presumed upon Senpai’s kindness . But, it’s enough”.
I quickly bowed my head My eyes blurred . I love s.h.i.+on-senpai, it’s because I love him that it’s painful
I can’t yet Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry――――
“… Do you want to break up with me?”.
s.h.i.+on-senpai said just a few words . Desperately resisting my tear glands from loosening, while still bowing I nodded
“Yes”.
I can’t continue going out with s.h.i.+on-senpai who’s like this anymore Since he won’t even embrace me naked, I have no confidence that he loves me, so I can’t properly say what I want to say In such a situation it’s impossible for me to stay at his side
“I understand”.
After I heard him sigh, s.h.i.+on-senpai gave me brief words of acknowledgement While feeling relieved I raised my face
s.h.i.+on-senpai has his usual expression It doesn’t look like he’s particularly shaken Somehow, I feel let down
… I see, he doesn’t think anything about us breaking up As I understood that fact, pain spread through my chest
I look like an idiot I had expectations, even if only slight
―――― I was the only one in love
It takes two to tango Reminded of that again, I told myself that it was for the best Since there had been no other choice from the start, I chocked back my tears that welled up
“… Well then, Senpai . I am grateful to you… Stay well”. “You too”.
When I told him that in a trembling voice, he returned only that much And then Senpai once again lowered his face and went back to the world of books
… Ah, see, as expected After all I was only that much for Senpai
Knowing he wouldn’t see it, I once again bowed toward Senpai, and without saying anything quietly left the room I had hardly any luggage
I had no idea about Senpai’s feelings, and was afraid of him breaking up with me, so I didn’t feel like bringing my personal belongings
I went down the stairs Of course, I didn’t hear the sound of being pursued Senpai is in the world of books now Surely he’s forgotten about me Just as she had said, it was only a physical relations.h.i.+p . Our hearts were always distant
Again I was made to realize that
Senpai’s apartment that I’d been visiting for a year and a half When I went outside, I looked at it once again
Old outwards appearance . A tiny two-story apartment building, with only half of the ten rooms occupied . I had gone there almost every day I had continued going there, hoping one day Senpai would turn around In the end, that dream didn’t come true
“Thank you very much . Senpai . I had fun . I was truly happy… to date Senpai”.
I muttered like a soliloquy, and turned my back to Senpai’s apartment
Senpai’s face as he laughed a little troubledly The gentle smile he showed from time to time The tense expression he showed when embracing me, I loved every single of them
I believed I would reach him someday―――― Still, the reality isn’t so sweet . Hopeless things are hopeless
My first love came late I’d thought it wouldn’t come true, and yet we stayed together for a year and a half… I can only be grateful now
Thank you, s.h.i.+on-senpai It feels awfully lonely that I won’t be able to see your profile while you’re reading a book, but still, it’s my own choice I want to advance without looking back
I truly, truly loved you It was impossible with me, but please one day find somebody you can be happy with I prayed for Senpai’s happiness from afar
Goodbye, Senpai――――
I cast my eyes down and took a big breath I don’t regret it
I’ve already decided that Senpai is in my past I’ll show that I can convert everything about it into beautiful memories
Firmly nodding, I took a firm step forward for the sake of turning my finished first love into memories