LEGEND OF THE GOLDEN TIGRESS 165 I'll Let Him Go

Xing who had realised the mysteries around the G.o.ds' interference in her life felt her heart break when she thought about Shengli.

Xing remembered his jumpy behaviour in the past few days and she knew it must be because of his knowledge about her becoming infertile because of the Poison. He must have tried hard to conceal the fact to her because he knew it would break her and that's why he stayed away from her. His refusal to let her interact with doctors and also how his heart felt sad beneath his smiling face... He knows!

Xing knew Shengli. He won't abandon her for this reason. She was sure of that.

But am I worthy of him?

Xing remembered how from the day she met him, he was the one who had given her a lot, protected her and loved her more than anyone else she knows.

Not only she had made him relinquish the throne but also she had only hurt him throughout the years. He became an a.s.sa.s.sin, he was tortured by s.h.i.+hong, he had to live the life of an underground businessman because of her and he even refused to take the throne for her and even the t.i.tle of 'Prince' he was born with.

When have I ever done anything remotely beneficial for him? I've ruined his life! Does he really need me in his life? And to top it off, I can't even bear children for him.

Xing looked at the evening sky and she felt a deep surging pain in her heart that spread throughout her body thinking about all these. She felt so useless and worthless to be called his wife.

Xing knew he wouldn't mind her problem and will try to keep her with him nonetheless. But how long will the resolve of a human last? What if one day in the future, he finds her an eyesore and an ill omen who only brings trouble to him? What if one day he brings another woman to their home because she cannot bear him children? Which human would want to not start a family, right?

And also with all the other issues, if she decides to stay in the palace as the G.o.ds want, won't he hate her for that? He won't allow her to do that... Who would let their wife stay as someone else's wife, right?

And won't he suffer more if he decides to stick with her? Xing knew even though it is the G.o.ds wish for her to kill Old Rong but she had a bad premonition about this since no mortal can kill a G.o.d without facing repercussions. She didnt know what kind of loss she will suffer after she kills that G.o.d and what if Shengli gets hurt by it too?

Xing who was rational until she figured out everything else became emotional when she started thinking about Shengli and her mind played various scenarios and in each scenario she lost.

Her confidence got reduced and she felt like she'd rather let Shengli go now rather than trying to hold him closer making him hate her later.

Xing cried bitterly as she reached to this decision to let him go. Of course it won't be easy for her to convince him to be free of her but what needs to be done should be done.

Chenglei needs someone better by his side!

Right now there is no difference between her and s.h.i.+hong who had deliberately drugged himself to stop being a woman. Both have useless wombs.

Thinking about s.h.i.+hong made Xing think why Old Rong is attached to s.h.i.+hong. Xing knew not everyone can cast blood spells. Only the Royal Lu and the four High n.o.ble families can use the blood spells if they want to and only with someone else with the same blood of the conjurer of that spell can break it and that's why Xing with the blood of every family is considered a rare breed and can break all kind of spells cast by humans.

But s.h.i.+hong can cast spells too... As Xing deliberated for a while about that, she found out about the reason.

s.h.i.+hong has Lu blood too!

Xing saw the sun beginning to sink in the west sky and decided to face Shengli and tell him her decision. She had done everything in her life till now having him in mind and this decision is also for his benefit whether he could accept it or not.

Even though Xing felt the decision she had made is logical and would benefit Shengli, she could not think him with another woman.

She didn't know how her thoughts aligned with how an average woman would think when facing similar situations. Except other women would stay with their man even though he had other women. Xing could never do that. She didn't have the guts to do that. Contrary to what people may believe, Xing was actually not that strong mentally especially when it comes to Shengli.

Xing took deep breaths to calm herself down, washed her face in a stream nearby and decided to get down from the mountain and tell her decisions to Shengli.

He would become heart broken! But he'll realise it is for his welfare in the future.

When Xing exited the mountain and pa.s.sed beside the temple she stood frozen by the figure in front of her, smiling at her as gentle as the evening breeze on a flower spreading the beautiful scent of the flower everywhere. His silver hair fluttered in the gentle wind and his soft silk robes danced to the tunes of the wind a king him look like an Immortal.

Xing took in his face and his expressions தட் were filled with love and concern for her as usual and also the possessiveness he had for her.

I don't deserve him!

That was the only thought that filled her mind.

"Where have you been, Xing? Did you eat? I waited for you all this time!", his gentle tone became a bit panicked in a moment, "Xing! What happened? Why are your clothes dirty? Are you OK? Did you get hurt somewhere?"

"Let me see", he said walking towards her in long paces and tried to touch her face to inspect her, "Did you cry?", his voice was filled with deep sorrow as he saw her swollen face and reddened eyes and Xing could hear his throat closing in distress.

I only bring you distress! I really don't deserve you!

Xing dodged Shengli's hand that had brought her warmth and protected her heart numerous times and walked past him as if she didn't notice him.

Xing felt like someone had torn her heart to pieces with their bare hands as she felt the agonising pain in her heart as she pa.s.sed Shengli.

The Emperor who came to talk with her brother saw the scene transcribing in front of him and felt like he had seen some unusual dream.

"Prepare a courtyard for me! Staying in your courtyard is not comfortable", Xing walked towards the Emperor speaking and the Emperor got confused by her statement.

She wants a new courtyard? She is going to stay here?