My Soul Will Find Yours 104 A Child Is Not A Pawn But A Gif

Kaname left for the nakoku later than usual the next day. He didn't say it but I knew he worried about me, he didn't dare close his eyes again without making sure that I fell asleep first last night. The shogun comforted me until I calmed down enough to surrender to somnolence. When I woke up, I found myself clinging to him, which was a first ever since we got together as it was always him who was wrapped around me like a vine and not the other way around.

"Good morning," he whispered when our eyes met.

"h.e.l.lo, my love," I said while smiling at him sheepishly. I s.h.i.+fted so he didn't have to stay in the uncomfortable position he was currently in but he tightened his hold on me. I looked at him questioningly…

"This is the first time I woke up to find you holding me so tightly, let me enjoy it a bit longer," he said.

"But isn't this uncomfortable?" I asked, I was using his arm as a pillow with both my arms and legs around him after all.

"I woke up to pins and needles p.r.i.c.king my arm but I don't mind."

"Let's change to a more comfortable position," he didn't say anything and just let me ma.s.sage his arm. I motioned for him to roll to his side before I wrapped myself around him again. "By the way, isn't it time for you to return?"

"Can't I stay longer with you?" he looked a bit hurt. "I just want to savor the moment."

"Sorry, I didn't mean it that way," I kissed his chin, it was slightly stubbly.

"Besides, shouldn't you be whiny and demand for me to stay with you the whole day after last night?" he frowned as if I let him down greatly. "And then I'd be helpless and have no choice but to do as you please."

"I'm just worried people might comment about you s.h.i.+rking your responsibilities," I told him although he did hit the nail in the head, I kind of want him to stay and spoil me rotten the entire day. I realized that he already knows me so well despite being with me for only months now.

He snorted in amus.e.m.e.nt. "No one would dare say that, Hina. I have proven just how efficient I am in running my office that those working beneath me have to work thrice as hard to reach my standards."

~~~

We had lunch and as usual I ate quite a lot, he was pleased that I was no longer restricting myself and just ate freely. Ryuko-san has added more vegetable dishes to my meals lately so I didn't feel guilty about indulging. After kissing my lips then my belly and reminding me about not overexerting myself in the practice hall, Kaname finally returned to the middle palace to officially start his military duties.

Two hours later, his first official visit to the inner palace was announced. Since our return from our holiday in Gunma, at every two in the afternoon, he would visit Ayaka to check on her and their child. She was now five months pregnant and showing.

For the first time that afternoon, I saw what Kaname meant when he said that she was overflowing with smugness at the 'fact' that he hasn't been visiting me. The gloating look she shot me when our eyes met almost made me laugh. If she knew that he sleeps in my room every night, I was certain she'd go ballistic.

~~~

On our way to my room from the practice hall, Mami and I were greeted by the waiting little snake in the hallway. Apparently, she was still not satisfied with just throwing me a look earlier and wanted to rub her supposed victory to my face.

"Greetings, official wife and forgotten wife," she said mockingly while emphasizing the adjective she used to describe me.

"'Forgotten wife?'" Mami looked at her then at me innocently. "Is she referring to herself?"

"Beats me," I shrugged my shoulders and continued walking.

"You know very well that it's you I'm referring to!" she shrieked while grabbing my arm.

I instantly pulled my arm away and stared at her coldly. "Who gave you the permission to touch me?"

"You're the third wife, I'm above you!" she crossed her arms in front of her chest and looked at me tauntingly. "Never forget that."

"Is that so?" I barked a sarcastic laugh. "My little snake, we both know I could crush you if I wanted to!" I paused before quoting her, "Never forget that!"

"The words coming out of your mouth are as uncultured as ever!" she yelled.

"Ayaka, what do you aim from acting like the b.i.t.c.h that you are?" I went to the point because I didn't want to prolong this moment.

She flinched at my frankness. When she recovered, she said, "Oh, nothing. I just wanted to see how you're doing now that the shogun hasn't been visiting you."

Mami laughed and hooked an arm over my shoulder. "Isn't she a funny one, Lady Hinata? She's spouting nonsense and she doesn't even realize it."

I pretended to sigh and shake my head. "I think she's a hopeless case, Lady Mami. Shall we go to the shrine and pray for her?"

"That would be useless," it was Mami's turn to fake a sigh. "Like you said, she's a hopeless case."

Mami and I both laughed then looked at Ayaka in ridicule. Her hands were balled into fists and her face was red.

"Stop provoking me, my little snake," I told her. "For once I've ran out of patience, I will make sure that you'll pay for what you did not just to me, but to Lady Mami and consequently to the shogun by the tenfold."

"Are you threatening me?" her narrowed eyes gave me a piercing gaze but I was unaffected.

"I don't make threats, I make promises that I never break," I told her. "You made an enemy out of me, it's only right for me to live up to your expectations. But let me remind you again, I won't be easy to take down."

She looked around in fright then pointed a finger at me, "You all heard her! She has threatened the second wife! If anything happens to me then she is the one behind it!"

"Oh, please!" Mami said sarcastically. "Save us from your dramatics! You were the one who provoked Lady Hinata, now that she's facing you head on you're backing out!"

I gave her the most irritating smirk I could give and said, "She's a very good actress, Lady Mami. This is what she gets from watching too much kabuki play. Anyway, shall we proceed to having tea? I don't think I can stand any more of this snake's antics."

"That's a good idea," Mami agreed and gestured for us to leave.

We barely took three steps when Ayaka spoke again, "When my child is born, I will do everything I can to dispose the two of you. Lady Mami, don't blame me for being ruthless! It was you who chose to side with her!"

"How pitiful," I said while looking over my shoulder. "Your child isn't even born yet but you already plan on using it to your advantage. Ayaka, you're not worthy of being a mother. A child is not a p.a.w.n you may use to get what you want. It is a gift from G.o.d that you should nurture and raise as a good person, especially since he or she is fathered by Kaname-sama."

"You accuse me of awful things but you're openly saying words that will greatly backfire on you. However, rest a.s.sured that when the time comes that the shogun banishes you from the castle, I will personally take care of your child and make sure that he or she doesn't grow up to be like the vile serpent that you are."

Once done, I gathered my robes and let Mami lead me back to my room. I belatedly noticed that I was shaking from anger! Ayaka's child does not deserve a mother like her. I still don't know what she plans on doing but I am ready. I realized that I shouldn't let my own pregnancy become a liability. Instead, it should be my strength! Like Kaname, my priority should be keeping my family safe. Being scared and unsure will not benefit me, it will only pull me down.