Emperor Of Blue Flower Mountain 114 Volume 5: A Cat-Astrophic Tail

"You there! What did I say last time?!" A Fairy imperial soldier caught a weasel beastie, in it's animal form, trying to wiggle his way past the soldiers.

The weasel beastie tried very hard to look innocent. "That I shouldn't try to sneak through? And if I did I would gently put back in the crowd?"

"Ha ha ha, I told you if you tried again I'm chucking you out of the Palace." Saying so, the fairy imperial soldier drew back his arm and mercilessly threw the weasel. Where the weasel landed, no one knew, but it was definitely far away from the Courtyard they were all camping in front of like a bunch of vagabonds.

The Beasties started yelling at the Soldiers angrily all at once.

"Using violence against a citizen! I'm filing an official complaint!"

"This is an abuse of power!"

"We're not hurting anyone, how could you be so vicious!"

"Yeah, yeah, we're not doing anything wrong!"

"I never thought I'd see the day!"

"Bing Des.h.i.+, don't think I won't ask my relatives to p.o.o.p on your head!"

Bing Des.h.i.+, the Imperial Soldier who had just chucked the weasel beastie, looked at the Beastie who'd just threatened him and asked with extreme exasperation, "Brother Niao, is this really worth threatening me over? You know it's a crime to threaten an Imperial Soldier, even if it is just with bird p.o.o.p."

Brother Niao didn't look repentant, but threw back testily, "Ho ho ho, but you can just throw any old citizen through the air and get away with it?"

"That weasel is a trained soldier, he will be just fine!"

"It's the principle of the matter!!!"

Their argument caught the attention of someone inside, as the courtyard gate opened and a head with a tangle mop of hair popped out.

"QUIET!" Yan Li roared, his eyes almost bloodshot from anger.

The crowd instantly silenced.

"Does this Prince really need to come out and explain to Lanhua citizens that making a ruckus in front of Imperial Mother's courtyard while she is giving birth is totally inappropriate?!"

The same crowd had enough sense to look guilty.

"If this Prince had his way, he would chuck you all out of the Palace, laws be d.a.m.ned!"

The crowd shuffled backward.

"That's what this Prince thought." He huffed at them in annoyance and then paused, adding warningly, "Just sit down like good Beasties and be patient will you? If a Prince needs to come out again, it won't be this Prince, it will be the First Prince, understand?"

The crowd immediately sat down and decided patience was a very good idea.

Seeing everyone had settled down, he slammed the gate shut and sighed heavily. Looking around, he saw the entire clan of little white foxes present, all three cats, as well as Lu Fan and all his deer.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and found himself reminiscing about how this all started.

Eight or so months ago, Mother got pregnant with his newest brother. Everyone affectionately called the unborn child "Lil' Fifth". No one was expecting her to have more sons, so as far as Yan Li and his brothers were concerned this was a pleasant surprise.

Though she didn't mention it, the coma had been hard on his Mother's mind and body. She had to work every day to recover her physical strength, and she would get anxious around people who wore too much black. When she visited the Traveller's Cave, she discovered she didn't do well in enclosed s.p.a.ces underground either. She started having problems breathing and felt like the walls were closing in on her.

If Uncle Ye hadn't been with her at the time, it's likely she wouldn't have told anyone about it. As it was, she disliked everyone fretting over her and kept returning to the Cave because "fears grow stronger as you indulge in them, it's only by facing them that you can make them small, small enough to eventually overcome."

The other reason no one expected her to have a fifth child was that she had so many grandchildren. She also immensely enjoyed Pei Zhi's grandchildren. With so many little one's surrounding her, everyone expected she had her fill. But apparently other people's babies just weren't enough. Jia Ying said being around so many children might have actually spurred her desire to have more, a conclusion that stunned Yan Li. Women truly were mysterious creatures.

Who knows how his Mother talked the Old M-peh, Imperial Father, into allowing for another son. That man definitely didn't want more sons. He and Shan Hui were of the same stock, they did not like to share. It took Imperial Father years to stop giving them the stink eye randomly and be gracious about sharing Mother. It was hard to say if he matured or just got used to them being around. Now, he had a fifth son on the way.

Anyway, Lil' Fifth was on the way and everyone was more or less happy about it. But near the end of the first trimester, some very strange things began happening.

First, the white foxes that supposedly served Mother--but in fact were mostly Uncle Ye's gophers--insisted on staying near Mother to an unnatural degree. It was innocent enough at first, they just wanted to be near her and snuggle a little more than usual. Follow her around for longer periods of time, things of that nature.

But then they kept trying to sneak into his parent's bedroom.

Don't talk about Imperial Father being angry, if it had been Yan Li himself he'd have gotten angry too. The bedroom was the one sacred place that outsiders and children weren't allowed.

Yet these audacious little white foxes kept trying.

When they were interrogated by Imperial Father, they only cried pitifully and jibbered as if they'd lost their minds, "We just want to be near her! We are not doing anything wrong! Just let us near her a little bit longer! It is so nice to be near her!"

Imperial Father absolutely wasn't having any of that nonsense, so he had them temporarily banished from the Palace. They wept the entire time and kept insisting they weren't "doing anything wrong".

The next day Lu Fan visited. He and Shuya were often gone for long periods of time. Tree Spirits were very free by nature, even if they were contracted they'd do as they liked with their free time. Shuya would only pop back in now and then, to see how Mother was doing, before disappearing to do who-knows-what with Lu Fan. And Lu Fan preferred the forests to the Palace, so didn't come by unless Shuya dragged him there or Imperial Father summoned him.

It just happened they both came to visit.

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And Lu Fan lost his mind.

It was the most bizarre thing. He took a few steps within the Palace and made a beeline for Mother. When he saw her, he ran forward without any greeting and hugged her like drunk idiot and started rubbing his face all over her body.

That day, Lu Fan only survived by a hair's breadth. Aunt Shuya almost killed him and even Imperial Father, that deer obsessed fool, was mad enough to throttle him.

It was only after being thoroughly beat up that Lu Fan somewhat came back to his senses. Even while he was kowtowing and apologizing, he was sneaking glances at Mother who was staring at him like he'd been possessed.

When he tried to explain his behavior, he could only say, "I don't know, I just want to be near. I just want to be close, to let her know I am here and I love her-- Arg, Shuya, Darling, I don't mean love like that! Stop hitting me! My old bones can't take your hits!" He sobbed pitifully, "I'm really not doing anything wrong! I just want to show her pure love-- Guh, stop-- stop hitting me--why can't you understand my feelings Darling?!"

Imperial Father almost joined Shuya in a second throttling but restrained at the phrase, "not doing anything wrong". This is exactly what all the little white foxes had insisted too. It couldn't be a coincidence that the foxes and Lu Fan were saying the same thing.

This time Imperial Father personally dragged Lu Fan away from the Palace. Unlike the little foxes, Lu Fan couldn't just be dragged out by anyone. He was too powerful, even Shuya would struggle if Lu Fan resisted strongly, and he was definitely resisting.

It was only after they got a great distance away that Lu Fan finally settled down and stopped acting like an idiot. Even then, he could not explain what had happened.

"The moment I entered the Palace I felt a strong, irresistible pull. I didn't know it was leading me to the Queen Consort, my Lord. I really didn't! When I saw her, it was like… I don't know… like a halo around her, she felt very precious to me-- gah, not like that Shuya Darling, so please don't hit me! It's like… it's like… something like how family is very precious? But imagine those familial feelings but so strong that you can't ignore them? Ah, even I don't understand what I'm saying… My Lord, Darling, please forgive me..."

Imperial Father was disturbed by this explanation. The only thing that had changed from the last time Lu Fan had visited was Mother being pregnant. And when he thought about it, the white foxes had begun acting strange after that time too.

When Imperial Father got home later, he waited for Mother to sleep and then very closely examined his forming son. After closely looking at the developing child, he could not see anything unusual.

In truth, Imperial Father didn't really understand how the human and fairy blood mixed together. He could diagnose some problems, but he couldn't explain the particulars as to why things ended up the way they did. On the human side, he somewhat understood things because of the scrolls left by his Sister, but on the fairy side he really had no idea. Shan Hui was a product of his ignorance, a mistake he'd vowed never to repeat. Or so they'd pieced together from the various arguments he and Shan Hui got into over the years.

Since he didn't know, he called a family meeting in hopes of the group figuring something out. Yan Li, his brothers, Uncle Ye, and Aunt Shuya were all present. Even Xui s.h.i.+ the Bloodstone Seal was brought in because of his vast knowledge from his time in Jianghu. Xui s.h.i.+ and Shuya were the most likely to have heard of this sort of thing before, but both only shook their heads in puzzlement. In the end, s.h.i.+ Ji proposed they do a series of experiments to try to narrow down exactly what was happening and who it was affecting.

Mother was not privy to this meeting. It's not that Imperial Father or anyone else wanted to hide anything from her, but it wasn't good to over stress a pregnant woman. More specifically it was not a good idea to stress out Mother when she was pregnant. She was always emotionally unstable during pregnancy. Unless they had some useful information to give her, who knows how she might react. Maybe she'd only cry excessively ... or maybe she'd isolated herself somewhere or she'd just take a sudden swing at them. They just didn't know.

Thus, Mother was the center of a month long experiment without knowing it. The Palace was locked down, with only fairies and family allowed in. Anyone leaving needed to say where they were going and then say where they'd been when they got back. If they talked to someone from the outside, they needed to say who it was and when. s.h.i.+ Ji was very strict about who came in and out and when.

"Controlled testing" he called it.

The easiest thing to test was whether any of the family was affected by the strange "pull" Lu Fan talked about. None of them were, even Uncle and Aunt didn't seem bothered.

Then, they talked to the fairies that typically served her and found they were fine too. Fairies who saw her less often were brought in and seem unaffected. Even fairies brought in from the outside and had perhaps only seen her once from a distance were summoned and turned out fine.

Next the Tree Spirits. From Shuya to the youngest, they all seemed to have no strange compulsions. Then humans were brought in, Auntie Pei Zhi and her family and friends. The humans seemed unphased as well.

Then the Chieftain of the white foxes, Bai Yan, was allowed in. The moment she stepped into the Palace she promptly lost her mind and, like Lu Fan, made a beeline for Mother. She was dragged back into exile, crying the entire way.

After that, weak Beasties of various kinds were brought in. Whether it had wings or crawled on all fours, the moment they stepped into the Palace they all made a straight line for Mother. They all said the same thing as they were being dragged away, "We didn't do anything wrong!"

If Mother noticed anything, it was only that she couldn't leave the Palace. Naturally she didn't like this and had bouts of sobbing and fierce fights with Imperial Father over it. But when Pei Zhi firmly told her to stay at home and stop complaining, she became surprisingly pa.s.sive. Imperial Father's face definitely looked a mix of relieved and sour that day.

There was no doubt about it though, for some reason this pregnancy had a very strange effect on Beasties and only Beasties. This was the first time this had happened, and since Imperial Father, Shuya, and Xui s.h.i.+ didn't know why, how would anyone else know?

The only animals that seemed able to remain sane were the Immortal Cats. Other than wanting to snuggle on Mother's belly more frequently, their behavior didn't change. This was fortunate because not even Imperial Father could get rid of them if they wanted to stay.

It happened that one day the Immortal Cat Goji, the tabby bobtail, found Third Prince s.h.i.+ Ji and decided he would be the entertainment for the day. Goji was the most mischievous of the three cats so this behavior wasn't unusual. And s.h.i.+ Ji was considered an easy target, since all the cat had to do was sit on whatever s.h.i.+ Ji was working on to get a reaction.

"You lazy cat, get off my papers!"

"But this spot is the most comfortable spot!"

"Didn't you say that for the last three spots too? And didn't I move away form each spot?!"

"Then, it can only be the papers that are comfortable, meow."

"I'm in the middle of something, I can't afford to play with you!"

"If you're in the middle of something, then that's the best time to play with me."

"Arg! Why must you be like this?! Why must it be me?! Go bother the Old Man!"

"Meow, he's so pitiful lately, I just don't have the heart for it."

"You'll pity him but not me?"

"Why should I pity you? Aren't you having so much fun with this experiment?"

"What fun! I'm trying to figure out what's going on with Mother! Don't you like her too? I should think you would be a little bit concerned at least!"

"There's nothing to worry about so why be concerned?"

"..."

"..."

"...do you… do you know what's going on with her?"

"Meow? Isn't it obvious?"

"...ha ha ha, would you mind telling this ignorant one exactly what it is that's so obvious?"

"Heheh, meoooow, but where's the fun in that?"

"..."

"..."

"...fine. If that's how you're going to be… a few days ago I accidentally invented an Array that can only summon ten salt-water fish a time."

"Meow?"

"I couldn't figure out what to use it for, other than annoying fishermen. But now… It just occurred to me I can summon a big fat and extremely fresh tuna for you, then ask the kitchen to turn it into a spicy tuna dish. You like those right? The kitchen fairies complain about you nibbling those dishes all the time. You can have a whole dish, all to yourself."

"Meow!"

"But only if you tell me everything you know."

"..."

"..."

"I'm a magnanimous cat, of course I will definitely tell you! The little kitten in the Lady's womb was blessed with an "affinity"."

"Affinity?"

"Affinities can be thought of as a natural attraction so strong it gives complete control over those affected by it. And an affinity can be for anything! The G.o.ds that control water or lightning or wind or whatever, that's their affinity! Every G.o.d has an affinity! It's very common for them, meow! But in mortals? It's super rare. And the little kitten has an animal affinity."

"Are you saying Lil' Fifth isn't even born yet and he has a divine power?!"

"That's exactly, meow, what I'm saying!"

"Does that mean… Lil' Fifth is a… G.o.d?"

"Meow! Don't be stupid! He just has an affinity!"

"Sorry, sorry, don't get offended, I'm just shocked to find out I've got a younger brother with a divine power…"

"Considering the paternal and maternal sides of the family, is it really so surprising? The chance of being born in your family with an affinity is higher than an average human family, meow."

"Of course it's surprising, I've never even heard of this "affinity" thing before now… wait, why did you include Mother's side in there? She's all human… isn't she?"

"Completely human."

"...aya… that's a relief, any more surprises like that.."

"But her ancestry was meddled with, so she's a little different from most. It's no wonder that Lil' Mountain Spirit Papa of yours took a s.h.i.+ne to her, meooow."

"WHAT!!!"

"As to affinities, of course you haven't heard of them--"

"No wait, go back to that thing about Mother--"

"--affinities and whatnot are the business of the G.o.ds. As far as the mortal realm is concerned--"

"...are you purposefully ignoring me right now..?"

"-- you're more likely to win the lottery than be born with an affinity! Even with your family's lineage, it's difficult. Looks like the Three Stars of Luck are s.h.i.+ning down on your family, meow!"

"...I'll take your word for it. Now, what about that thing with Mother?"

"What do you mean 'take your word'?! I worked directly under the G.o.ddess Li Shou! My knowledge of the heavens and G.o.ds is 100% more accurate than whatever you know! And unlike fairies, cats don't lie. We're very honest creatures!"

"...right, right. But about Mother--"

"Tch, why won't you let that go? It's not even important. And you're paying me to tell you about one thing, not other unrelated things!"

"It's related! Specifically by ancestors! Look, I'll give you more tuna!"

"Humph! You think you can bribe me?!"

"Yes, with tuna!"

"Just like cats tell no lies, we tell no secrets either!"

"You told me about affinities!"

"That's not a secret, EVERYONE knows about that."

"Didn't you also just tell me only the G.o.ds know about it!"

"Everyone that's IMPORTANT!"

"..."

"..."

"You're just not going to tell me, isn't that right?"

"If you got all the answers when you wanted, without even an ounce of effort, and as you liked, wouldn't that be a boring existence?"

"You'll excuse me if that doesn't sound believable coming from an Immortal being."

"Meow? I never said that you'd be the bored one."