A Rose Dedicated To You Chapter 1

New project /o/. I haven't decided on a release schedule for this yet, but it'll be updated at least once every two weeks. This project doesn't have a lot of chapters, but it's a bit harder to translate… It's a little flowery >.

Hope you enjoy it as much as me and my editor are right now!

Translator: Blushy
Editor: DelishNoodles

It was more beautiful than anything else in the world. 

A sweet, tender smile directed at a woman who was like a sunflower. 

The heated deep blue eyes that were like the sky before dawn. Thin arched lips. The cheeks that naturally loosen. 

I was shocked and forgot to breathe as I gazed at him.  

It was also the first time I've seen him make this expression. 

I never knew that he could smile like this. 

It was beautiful.

Really beautiful. 

I stopped as if I'd been struck by lightning, and couldn't move from that spot. 

At that moment, my eyes were for seeing him, and all my senses were for feeling him. 

Strong emotions exploded from the depths of my heart; it became a torrent that rose to my throat. It changed into heat and burnt my eyelids.

――― Is this love?

I understood for the first time in my life.

Loving someone wasn't an abstract concept to me, but an essential part of life that couldn't be expressed in words before. 

At the same time, I also noticed that the feelings which I thought was only goodwill were something completely different.

――― I, towards that person…

I knew it. I noticed it. And was a.s.saulted by intense regret. 

I was a woman who was taken in by sympathy. 

I can't harbour these feelings. 

The best way to accept their relations.h.i.+p and live quietly as a decorated wife was to not have extra feelings for him. 

And yet, because I knew it because I noticed it, I could only walk down the th.o.r.n.y path. 

I fell deeply in love with someone who I can never have and now I have to live my life by killing my emotions. 

When sadness filled my heart, something warm flowed from my eyes.

"Why…?"

It was as if my heart was being torn into a million pieces. 

Painful, sorrow, suffocating. 

The tears wouldn't stop, no matter how many times I wiped them away. My vision became blurry, and his smile soon disappeared from my view. 

I ran at dusk because I wanted to run away from everything. 

I kept on running even when my breathing got heavy, and my heart started to hurt. 

I even thought that every soul in this world would disappear right now if my wish were to come true.

Reference to Gaetano Donizetti's Lucia di Lammermoor. Spargi d'amaro pianto.

A songstress covered in blood was smiling on stage, illuminated by blue and white lights. 

She sang at the top of her voice about love that was proven with death. The mad melody depicted both joy and sadness.

            Shed bitter tears on my earthly remains…

            And I will pray for you in heaven.

            Only when you join me will heaven seem beautiful.

            Heaven, to me!

The songstress collapsed on the ground like a doll with broken strings when the chorus sang a sorrowful tune. 

The climax was when the fallen songstress is dragged to the back of the stage by a pastor and maid. 

In the end, a high-pitched sound like a death agony swelled from her throat.

Aah! 

Her voice was full of sorrow and wrung at the heart of the audience. 

When the performance ended, the audience erupted in applause, and everyone praised the songstress for doing a splendid job in singing the『Mad Scene』.

In the meantime, the acting continued, and the songstress held up a servant while the stairs at the centre of the stage went up as if it was going to heaven. 

As the story went on, and the male lead, who learnt that the female lead had died, committed suicide and the play ended in tragedy. 

I also clapped loudly along with the rest of the audience while sighing at the emotion that suddenly grasped my chest. 

――― I'm jealous. 

A beautiful female lead who went mad because she fell in love and died after letting people know how powerful those feelings were. 

I also want to fall into madness in like and cry out my love for him without a care in the world while holding onto a phantom, and then die. 

Then people would sympathise with me, and I would be able to leave him with a strong impression. 

It will probably clear my reputation.

At least, much more so than living and acc.u.mulating good deeds.

"No one can be happy…"

I sighed again, deeper than I did before, got up from my seat and left the box.

I walked fast so that I wouldn't b.u.mp into the gentlemen and ladies who were coming out from their private rooms or be called out to by someone I knew, and walked down the grand stairs that lead to the hall on the ground floor. 

The theatre hall was magnificent and made one want to fix their eyes on it. 

Overall, it was white and gold and had a crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling. The chandelier shone so brightly that you wouldn't think it was night.

The gorgeousness and luxurious state of the hall wasn't inferior when compared to halls in the mansions of n.o.bles where night parties were often held. 

The dressed-up men and women were absorbed in their conversations, and the smell of perfume and excitement filled the room. The hall had a sultry atmosphere.

I stopped halfway down the stairs, hid behind a big vase filled with flowers and sighed deeply. 

"… It's okay."

I convinced myself as I put a smile on my tense face and held my fan. I strolled into the crowd of people. 

The young ladies, who had noticed me, had curiosity written on their cute faces as they whispered behind their fans. 

"Look. It's Countess Rosenstein."

"Is that the person from the rumours?"

The whispers were full of malice.

I slowed down and took my time to walk pa.s.s the young ladies. 

"Yeah. She's that Countess Rosenstein. Oh my, she didn't bring her lover with her and is alone. I wonder if he hates her a lot."

"Lover? Does she have a lover? She doesn't look much older than us."

"If I'm not mistaken, she's 18 this year. She just got married not even a year ago, and she already has a lover. She hasn't even given birth to any children."

I received a drink from a pa.s.sing waiter and stopped to moisten my throat.  

As I was doing that, the whispering of the ladies got louder. 

"Wow! Isn't that bad?"

"It is. She's insane. Lord Rosenstein also seems quite angry. But she doesn't regret it at all and continues to date that lover of hers. I wonder if it's more accurate to say that she takes him around instead of dating him or pursuing him. The rumour is that the Countess is the one crus.h.i.+ng on him and he's with her against his will."

"Then why doesn't the Lord divorce her?"

"My thoughts exactly. He should just quickly send her back to her parents. Apparently, her family home is in a really rural place, so she probably won't be poking her nose into our business and walking around like she owns the place. I'm sure Lord Rosenstein cares about what people think. A year is too short, even if he does divorce her. He'll at least wait three or four years before divorcing her, don't you think?"

That was enough for me to hear. I smiled provocatively at the young ladies, which caused them to raise their voices, "Oh dear!" So I left.

As I slipped through the crowd and returned the gla.s.s to a pa.s.sing waiter, I heard criticism from other people too. 

"I heard that the relations.h.i.+p between husband and wife is so cold that they don't even talk to each other. Apparently, Lord Rosenstein is being practical and is showering his love onto his blind cousin who lives in the same mansion instead of his heartless wife."

"I wonder when they'll divorce. I want to introduce my niece to him if they do. My niece has always adored Earl Rosenstein. She's much more charming and attractive than that lady."

"Ah, she looks like a terrible spendthrift. She buys a lot of jewellery and dresses and often visits gambling houses. She also gives a lot of money to her lover."

"She comes from a ruined Marquis House, right? She got married into a wealthy family and got spoiled, so she got carried away and does whatever she likes. Honestly, Lord Orpheus is so unfortunate."

Of course, not everyone criticised me. I can't stay in high society if I only got criticised. There were also a lot of n.o.bles who greeted me warmly. 

"Well, well, Countess Rosenstein. You look beautiful today too. Just like a G.o.ddess."

"That blue dress s.h.i.+nes on your white skin. Is that also made from Charmes Mondt? I also want to copy it, but I can't wear it like you, Lady Ophelia. Our bodies are different."

"The pearl hair ornament looks good on you. Even so, it looks beautiful with s.h.i.+ny black hair. How mysterious."

They crawl around me like ants as soon as they see me, and try to curry favour with their honeyed words. 

They ingratiate themselves into my favour like this, and will probably try to receive favours through me on a rainy day.

I feel sorry for them.

The rumours are true; my relations.h.i.+p with him is getting colder. 

They try to receive favours through me without knowing that he doesn't listen to what I say. 

I chimed in and remarked when the conversation paused, "I'm sorry, I'm tired. Let's continue next time."

I was able to watch the opera that I've always wanted to watch.

Also, I realised that the criticism I received from the world is strong. 

I don't have anything else to do here.

"Farewell," I said coldly before slipping into the crowd and headed for the entrance. 

It was tranquil outside. 

There was a unique damp smell that drifted at night. I was sick from all the perfumes, so I took a deep breath and raised my face to look at the sky.

There was a crescent moon amongst the twinkling stars in the sky, and it looked as if it had been cut off. 

The moon resembled an arch, and it looked as if it was mocking me for being foolish and silly, like the people inside of the theatre.

"… Laugh if you want to laugh."

People are gossiping; the relations.h.i.+p between Earl Rosenstein and his wife is getting colder, they chat.

The cause lies in the wife. She hates her husband who everyone envies, got a lover even though it's been less than a year since she married and she ignores her husband's advice and does whatever she likes; they continue. 

The rumours are true, but there is only one difference.

Countess Rosenstein doesn't hate her husband. 

Instead, it was the opposite.  

She, ――― I love my husband.

I love him more than anyone or anything. 

I act foolish, so my husband can be happy.

I love my husband, so I plan on sacrificing everything for him. 

"You can laugh as much as you want. You can curse me."

Instead of crying and screaming from madness, I could only prove my love for him in this way. 

By acting like a foolish woman who is sacrificing everything for his happiness.

I got on the carriage and wiped the smile which I had plastered on my face.

I was gloomier than usual; I don't know if it was because the tragedy of the play was still lingering within me or if it was because I was unusually shaken by the criticism I received because of my actions.