Part-Time Taoist Priest Chapter 5

Xie Lingya stuffed his student ID back into his wallet, ignoring He Zun who clamored to see . He’d taken academic leave but didn’t hand back the ID . It just happened to be in his pocket .

He Zun felt a bit conflicted—although Teacher Xie looked very young, he never thought he would be a student… They say that “unskilled meditate in the wilderness, true masters live in the city”1Means that true Taoist pract.i.tioners don’t have to rely on the peaceful environment to practice because the environment doesn’t affect them . —it turned out to be true!

He said, “I’m really surprised, Teacher Xie, I didn’t know you also went to school . After all, you’re already serving an apprentices.h.i.+p for such a difficult profession—how do you find time to study on top of that?”

Black lines appeared on Xie Lingya’s face, “I just defended my thesis and am preparing for the Postgraduate Admission Test—what the heck are you talking about?”

He Zun: “……”

After He Zun rang the bell, a middle-aged beauty came to open the door . It was He Zun’s aunt .

She moved aside to let them come in while eyeing Xie Lingya, a skeptical expression on her face . Apparently, she hadn’t expected the expert He Zun lauded to be so young, not to mention so handsome—if he said he was an actor that she would easily believe .

She was an atheist . Though the nightmares made her half-convinced there was more to the world than what people could see with their eyes, she was still wary of con artists .

He Zun introduced, “This is Teacher Xie from Baoyang Temple!”

“I’ve long looked forward to meeting you, Teacher Xie,” Aunt He said politely .

In fact, everyone knew she had likely never heard Baoyang’s name . The temple was small and deserted; even in its neighborhood, not many knew about it .

He Zun glanced around . Seeing no one else in the room, he asked, “Where’s Uncle?”

“He went to take a call, he should be back in a minute . ” Aunt He asked them to sit down, poured them tea, and texted her husband .

He Zun noticed she was doubtful and wanted to prove the person he invited was indeed an expert . He hurried to create an opportunity: “Teacher Xie, my aunt said that lately she feels unnaturally exhausted . Do you perhaps have a quick-working method to help her?”

Aunt He chuckled, wanting to see what this expert would come up with .

Xie Lingya readily accepted He Zun’s good intentions . At once, his hand formed the Spirit Official’s Seal, but the second his middle finger rose, Aunt He’s face changed . “You…”

Quick-working method? Of course, it’s this!

He Zun immediately interjected, “Let me explain! Though it looks like you-know-what, it’s actually a secret technique called the Spirit’s Official Seal . It can exorcise evil spirits!”

Aunt He: “……”

Xie Lingya saw she still looked dubious . He said in his heart, Venerable Patriarch, now it’s time for you to show your might, help me, please . Soon, he sensed Spiritual Official w.a.n.g’s spiritual power surge up in his body . Still forming the seal with his left hand, he held Aunt He’s wrist in his right .

Though Xie Lingya hadn’t engaged in this line of business before, he knew he couldn’t let other people think he was a fraud .

Aunt He only felt that, when Xie Lingya took her wrist, the faint chill lingering in her body seemed to retreat and the inexplicable fatigue she felt for the last few days disappeared without a trace as if swept away by warm sunlight .

“This…” Aunt He was shocked, even a little frightened, because she watched the whole time and knew all Xie Lingya did was simply hold her wrist .

Could this be explained scientifically? Had she overlooked something?

She hadn’t figured it out yet when there came the sound of the front door opening .

“President w.a.n.g, s.h.i.+ Daozhang, please,” a middle-aged man’s voice sounded .

He Zun promptly turned to look . “Uncle?”

Two other people came in with Uncle He: a thin, refined-looking middle-aged man and a handsome young man . To Xie Lingya’s amazement, it was s.h.i.+ Changxuan, the red-robed Taoist priest he saw in Taihe Temple .

Today, s.h.i.+ Changxuan wore normal clothes and carried a backpack . He looked entirely like an ordinary youth, yet when he raised his head and his calm, clear eyes swept around the room, he seemed to be a Taoist sage, separated from the mortal world .

His gaze rested on Xie Lingya for a few seconds more than on the others .

Xie Lingya was both surprised and delighted—surprised at meeting another Taoist here, delighted because it turned out to be s.h.i.+ Changxuan, his number one candidate .

Abashed, Uncle He explained, “This is my friend, President w.a.n.g . He heard about the situation and invited s.h.i.+ Daozhang from the provincial capital for help… I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you . ”

He Zun’s expression turned a bit ugly .

President w.a.n.g glanced at Xie Lingya, and said with a smile, “You’re President He’s nephew’s friend, right? How come the experts in this line of business are so young and handsome these days? However, there’s no need for a second master to bother with this matter . Originally, I wanted to ask Master Chen from Taihe Temple, who knew I would have the honor to meet s.h.i.+ Daozhang? I was lucky—he had been invited to preside over the rain-invoking ceremony in Taihe, otherwise, I wouldn’t have had a chance to see him . And, as you know, it rained two days ago . ”

He touted s.h.i.+ Changxuan, looking unbearably proud of his ability to invite him .

Uncle He felt awkward . Though President w.a.n.g’s intentions were good, he never asked his opinion but directly brought s.h.i.+ Changxuan here, catching him unaware . Still, President w.a.n.g was one of his important business partners on whose support he often relied, so he was too embarra.s.sed to say anything .

Aunt He was also at a loss . One person was Teacher Xie, who made her feel reinvigorated just by touching her hand, the other was praised to have successfully prayed for the rain… The former she was still able to accept, but the latter had to be an overstatement, hadn’t it?

He Zun said unhappily, “So what? It still should be ‘first come, first served’!”

Instantly, the atmosphere became even more awkward .

Xie Lingya really needed the money but at the same time, he wanted to get to know s.h.i.+ Changxuan better . So, he said good-naturedly, “Since we’re both here, let’s take care of this together, if s.h.i.+ Daozhang doesn’t mind?”

To President w.a.n.g’s ears, this sounded like a challenge . He couldn’t help but glance at s.h.i.+ Daozhang .

s.h.i.+ Changxuan’s voice was indifferent: “As you wish . ”

Since the situation developed like this, of course, both of them stayed .

Once everyone was seated in the living room, Uncle He narrated his family’s experiences from the beginning: “We’ve been living here since about two months ago . In fact, as soon as we moved in, we felt it was rather cold in the house, but it’s on a hillside after all, so I thought it was normal . However, since last week, all the five members of our family began to have nightmares every day .

“They aren’t really scary, more like reliving what happened in the past, but it feels extraordinarily real, and you can’t wake up . Then, when we finally wake up in the morning, we’re all covered in sweat and feel tightness in the chest . We went for a physical examination to the hospital, we also informed the real estate agency and had the surrounding environment checked, but there were no problems at all .

“My parents are old, I let them stay at the hotel for now, and my son lives in a school dormitory and didn’t come back this weekend . Well, originally, I had planned to change rooms, I’ve heard this might help . Since your perspective is different, masters… maybe you will be able to find what exactly is the problem?”

President w.a.n.g, a devout believer in feng shui, said immediately, “Is it because of the location, s.h.i.+ Daozhang? The house lies on the north side of the hill, after all, which belongs to yin . ”

Instinctively, Xie Lingya thought, Impossible . He didn’t really understand feng shui though, so he kept his mouth shut .

Then s.h.i.+ Changxuan spoke out, echoing his thought: “No . ”

Everyone, including Xie Lingya, stared at him, but he apparently had no intention to expound .

“Can you tell me why, s.h.i.+ Daozhang?” President w.a.n.g asked .

s.h.i.+ Changxuan’s eyebrows knitted, which for some reason made the others feel the urge to apologize for coming to cla.s.s unprepared . He said, “This is indeed the yin side, but the mountain’s qi veins are good, and it’s in the right shape—the three peaks converge like a lotus . There’s a pond in front of the entrance . It’s inclined so the water flows away from the house, which makes it easy for wealth to disperse, but this isn’t…”

“Pardon? What about the wealth?” Uncle He interrupted him in a hurry .

s.h.i.+ Changxuan glanced at him . “It’s easy to be lost . Feng shui of this place is favorable, yet Mr . He and his family continue to have nightmares . The reason should be…”

But Uncle He grasped the crucial point and wasn’t going to let it go: “You mean we have to move out or we’ll go bankrupt?”

s.h.i.+ Changxuan, interrupted for the second time, fell silent for a moment, then said, “Simply change the flow of energy—fill the pond . ”

Uncle He breathed a sigh of relief . “Oh, that’s good!”

President w.a.n.g grinned . “This is but a trifle . Just do what s.h.i.+ Daozhang said and it’ll be fine . ”

Uncle He forced a smile and took a sip of the tea to collect himself .

s.h.i.+ Changxuan continued, no fluctuations in his voice as if he spoke of something as inconsequential as the weather: “You have nightmares because of a roaming corpse spreading fear in your house . ”

Uncle He spat out the tea . “Roaming, roaming corpse?!”

Aunt He was no longer a staunch non-believer after what Xie Lingya had done . Now, she paled . “That sounds terrifying . You mean to say… there’s a body buried under this house? Do we have nightmares because it climbs out of its grave and wanders around at night?”

What a rich imagination .  Xie Lingya couldn’t help but turn to her and explain, “The ‘roaming corpse spreading fear’ is a grievance made by the Roving Demon . The Roving Demon is one of the seven Guest Spirits in the folk religion, along with Lord of the Soil, North Monarch, etc . It’s not an actual wandering corpse, that would be too scary . ”

These days, besides reading Baoyang records, he also read some Taoist cla.s.sics . “The roaming corpse spreading fear” occured when the Guest Spirits occupied the house and made trouble for the residents, wanting to drive them off .

Uncle He’s face was whitish . “And you say the Guest Spirits are not scary, Teacher Xie?”

Xie Lingya: “……”

How should I put it… Compared with some of the malignant wandering ghosts, these guys are nothing special . 2Wandering ghosts – wandering spirits of the dead . These spirits include vengeful ghosts seeking revenge on those who offended them before, hungry ghosts, and playful spirits who might cause trouble .

Uncle He wiped his face with his hand . “s.h.i.+ Daozhang, Teacher Xie, I’m not sure what should I feel . The more I understand, the more afraid I am—it would’ve been better to just get used to having nightmares . Now it turns out not only is this house making me lose wealth, but it’s also haunted . Can I just move? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to relax here again!”

“At this moment, it’s tied to the house, so even ordinary people can handle it . Moving out would indeed solve the problem,” s.h.i.+ Changxuan said . He looked at Uncle He: “But—did you perhaps receive a small windfall about half a month ago?”

Uncle He asked, shocked, “How do you know?”

He Zun was also surprised—he never heard about this .

“Oh, so it’s this after all . Usually, a household is guarded by twelve major G.o.ds, including the fierce Azure Dragon and White Tiger—normally, Guest Spirits wouldn’t dare make trouble for the hosts . I was confused about how it was possible for them to suddenly turn malicious,” Xie Lingya said .

He’d encountered a similar case before . His high school cla.s.smate’s house had bad feng shui, and accidents started to happen there with increasing frequency . The nightmares were just the beginning—if nothing was done, the situation could get more and more dangerous .

However, something like this didn’t happen without a reason . According to s.h.i.+ Changxuan, the root cause of the problem was the money He Zun’s uncle unexpectedly received .

Even Aunt He didn’t know about it . She eyed Uncle He suspiciously . “What windfall?”

Sheepish, Uncle He said, “Half a month ago, my client and I had dinner with President Fang from Tongxing . When we were going back, he found a bag of money by the side of the road, with more than a hundred thousand yuan inside . He gave me twenty thousand, and I took it . That… that isn’t really a serious amount, is it? I was drunk at the time, and it wasn’t me who found it, or I’d definitely bring it to a police station, I swear . I can easily make a hundred thousand . As if I’d get greedy!”

s.h.i.+ Changxuan was silent for a moment then frowned, “It wasn’t a windfall, it was money to buy a life . ”

Uncle He’s face stiffened . “What do you mean?”

“Wait a minute, Fang of Tongxing?” President w.a.n.g interjected, his expression strange . “You mean Fang Zhenxing? Two days ago, I heard he transferred his company to someone else—they say it’s because he’s ill . ”

After this sentence, the room fell completely silent .

Uncle He got gooseb.u.mps all over . It was the middle of the day, yet he began to s.h.i.+ver from sudden cold .

No matter the amount, a windfall was a fortune which one didn’t deserve, and spending it didn’t come without risk . Windfall, or ill-gotten gains, was 橫財, hèngcái .  Hèng also meant “horizontal,” as in the saying, “Enter upright, leave horizontally,” which was a metaphor for death . Who knew if hèngcái won’t turn into 橫死, hèngsǐ—to die an unnatural death?

Xie Lingya had heard about such a thing from his uncle . In the 1980s, a farmer in the countryside picked up five yuan and spent it . As a result, he became ill, losing more than he gained .

At the time, w.a.n.g Yuji was invited to help . He found the money had been cursed and deliberately thrown on the ground—whoever was greedy and picked it up would meet with misfortune if he spent any of it .

This was actually a kind of transfer . Perhaps, the original owner of the money was ill, and through money and curse, he transferred his illness to the person who picked up the money . When the finder spent the money which originally didn’t belong to him, the curse activated as if he pulled the trigger .

In the countryside decades ago, this kind of curse wasn’t rare . It was easy to break but breaking it was equivalent to fighting with the person who cast it, who might die as a result .

w.a.n.g Yuji never collected money for this kind of help . According to the old custom, the people he’d saved should come to wors.h.i.+p in his temple during the three major festivals3There are many festivals in China but traditionally, the three major ones were the Spring Festival (Chinese New Year), Dragon Boat Festival, and Mid-Autumn Festival . —Xie Lingya saw a few of them when he was a child . However, people tended to be most grateful for the kindness they received for the first few years; as time pa.s.sed, they gradually stopped coming . Later, as the information age advanced, there were fewer and fewer people coming to ask for w.a.n.g Yuji’s, an impoverished Taoist priest’s, help .

Aunt He was also familiar with Fang Zhenxing, so at this moment, she was practically convinced—it was impossible for him to work with swindlers . “What should we do now? Return the money?”

How? They didn’t know to whom the money originally belonged . s.h.i.+ Changxuan said, “Most of the money was used up by Fang Zhenxing . You haven’t spent all of what you received yet, so for now, it only caused your luck to become bad, which attracted the Guest Spirits . It is enough to drive them away and welcome the house G.o.ds back . I’ll handle the rest of the money . ”

“Yes, yes, I didn’t spend it all . ” Uncle He didn’t need any more convincing—he immediately rushed upstairs . He came back with a wad of money in hand, about eight thousand yuan, Xie Lingya judged .

For a moment, s.h.i.+ Changxuan scrutinized it in silence . Then, he took out a sheet of yellow paper and bundled the money in it .

Uncle He saw that he refused to touch it directly, and immediately pulled out a tissue to wipe his hands, nervous . Aunt He sitting next to him whispered, “At this point, is there any use of wiping your hands?”

Uncle He let out a cough and asked respectfully, “What should we do now, s.h.i.+ Daozhang?”

“To deal with the Guest Spirits, first, you need to divine the proper time by Congchen method . 4Congchen method – one of the methods of hemerology .  Mrs . He, Mr . He, please tell me your eight characters . ”5Eight characters [生辰八字, ‘eight characters of birth time,’ Shengchen Bazi (Bazi in short), the Four Pillars of Destiny] – it’s a Chinese astrological concept that a person’s destiny or fate can be divined by the two s.e.xagenary cycle characters a.s.signed to their birth year, month, day, and hour . Each pillar has two characters, eight characters (Ba Zi) in total . Two characters in each pair are made up of one character from the Heavenly Stems and one from the Earthly Branches .  Just take it as a more complicated way to write the birth date, used for divination .  After looking at it, s.h.i.+ Changxuan calculated that 10 p . m . this evening would be the right time to act .

“Well, then please accompany us for dinner,” Uncle He said . He looked at Xie Lingya, unsure if he’d stay . In their line of work, weren’t there some kind of rules about b.u.t.ting in another master’s work?

However, Xie Lingya didn’t take the initiative to leave, and s.h.i.+ Changxuan didn’t say anything either, so he certainly wasn’t going to open his mouth .

Of course, there was no way Xie Lingya would leave, since he wanted to talk with s.h.i.+ Changxuan . What’s more, he couldn’t shake off the feeling there was something more to this matter, but he wasn’t able to put a finger on it .

Unfortunately, Xie Lingya didn’t have the chance to be alone with s.h.i.+ Changxuan before dinner, and later, after the sun had set, Uncle He and his wife were even less willing to leave the man’s side . Uncle He said, it had been better to have nightmares and not know what was going on—now that they did, they were scared almost to death .

10 p . m . finally came . President w.a.n.g regretfully left because he had a previous engagement, but He Zun was still there .

Since nine o’clock, s.h.i.+ Changxuan had been preparing for drawing talismans . 6Remember that little tidbit about drawing talismans in chapter 3? Most Taoists have to perform rituals before they can draw, such as cleansing themselves, burning incense, putting up the altar, and reciting prayers .

There were many branches and schools in Taoism—the two leading were Zhengyi School and Quanzhen School . Different sects had different focus: some were focusing on magical incantations and drawing talismans, some on alchemy, and so on . Zhengyi School (which claimed lineage to the Celestial Masters) concentrated on talismans, especially the ones exorcising ghosts and spirits .

“What symbol do you want to draw, s.h.i.+ Daozhang? Let me help you,” Xie Lingya said . Maybe Uncle He thought he stayed to get a share of the pay, but in fact, he wanted to show s.h.i.+ Changxuan that Baoyang Temple was not without skills and secret knowledge .

s.h.i.+ Changxuan looked at Xie Lingya for a while, then, unexpectedly, handed him the writing brush . “Primary House Guarding Talisman . ”

Okay, let’s do this .  Xie Lingya took the brush happily . He tried to draw on the ceremonial table arranged by s.h.i.+ Changxuan but found the position uncomfortable, so he simply sat on the floor and used the coffee table .

Actually, he wanted to put on “Little Leaping Frog” for the right mood but held back .

Uncle and Aunt He were both laymen . They didn’t feel anything was wrong .

s.h.i.+ Changxuan’s lips moved, but in the end, he said nothing, only looked at Xie Lingya with a complicated expression in his eyes .

Xie Lingya didn’t know how many talismans would be needed, and didn’t want to come across as stingy, so he drew ten sets of talismans at once, each set comprising of five talismans .

s.h.i.+ Changxuan, however, still didn’t tell him to stop . He thought, Ten sets aren’t enough? f.u.c.k, there was no mention in the notes about any ceremony which requires so many talismans .  He paused and said, “I need to go to the toilet . Will you continue to draw?”

s.h.i.+ Changxuan glanced at him . “No, one set is enough . ”

Xie Lingya: “…………”

He comforted himself, At least now he knows how much endurance we from Baoyang have!

s.h.i.+ Changxuan took out a ritual sword from his backpack and put on the Taoist robes .

Xie Lingya couldn’t let himself be one-upped . Though he had no robe, he had a ritual implement . He opened the box he’d brought and picked up the Three Treasures Sword, “accidentally” letting it enter the other man’s line of sight .

Ignoring it, s.h.i.+ Changxuan stood in front of the altar and began to chant .

Instead, it was He Zun who asked, “Teacher Xie, this wooden sword seems very old, can it still be used?”

“This is the Three Treasures Sword,” Xie Lingya explained in a teacher’s tone . “It’s a magic instrument left behind by the very, very, very powerful temple master . It comes with three techniques: the first is Sword of Compa.s.sion…”

A burst of cold air blew through the house . The candles and joss sticks s.h.i.+ Changxuan lit started to shake, their flames flickering . There was nothing outside the windows except for a dense ma.s.s of darkness, and a piercing chill engulfed the living room .

Uncle and Aunt He clung to each other, nervously clutching the talismans s.h.i.+ Changxuan gave them .

s.h.i.+ Changxuan’s gaze swept around the surroundings . He sprinkled a handful of rice from each corner of the room into the middle, then along the walls, all the way to the door .

The Guest Spirits were invisible—their movements could only be observed with the aid of external objects .

s.h.i.+ Changxuan gripped the wooden sword in one hand and touched the door with the other, ready to expel the spirits .

If an expert was present, he would be able to tell s.h.i.+ Changxuan’s each and every move was exemplary . He looked as if he was taking a leisurely walk in the garden, but if you looked carefully, he didn’t take even one redundant step nor used any effort above absolutely necessary .

This tranquility calmed He Zun a little . Since Xie Lingya also looked impa.s.sive, he told himself there was nothing to fear, and said, trying to stop his teeth from chattering: “Come on, continue—Swo-Sword of Compa.s.sion, then?”

The yellow talismans pasted in the corners flapped loudly as if blown by the wind . The lights began to flicker, and when they were off, something seemed to approach in the darkness . The wind came in cold, spasmatic gusts, and the rice grains on the ground rolled slightly .

Staring at the rice grains, Xie Lingya recited slowly, “Sword like water, compa.s.sion of motherly love…”

The rice on the ground in the middle of the living room jerked suddenly . Unexpectedly, however, the movement wasn’t directed towards the door but towards the crowd .

Mounting a sneak attack? Xie Lingya deftly pulled He Zun to the side .

Before He Zun had time to be scared, he saw Teacher Xie whip around, grab the sword in both hands, and fiercely chop while shouting, “Eat my sword, you b.a.s.t.a.r.ds!”

He Zun: “…………”

The tip of the blade stopped about an inch from the floor . It was clearly just a wooden sword but somehow, it seemed full of unimaginable force . The rice grains were blown a few inches away, and there seemed to sound several barely discernible shrieks of endless misery, making everyone shudder .

But it lasted barely a blink of an eye . Soon, the illusory screams ceased, the lights turned back on, the candle flames, barely a spark until now, leaped up, and the chill in the house dispersed!

This time, s.h.i.+ Changxuan looked at Xie Lingya much longer . Expressionless, he lowered the hand he held on the door panel…

Guest Spirits? What? Sorry, they died visiting somebody’s else home .