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She does not like it.
. . . . .
They've been fighting.
She does not like fighting Jonas, but she cannot just ignore her suspicions. His warmth isn't there anymore. His pa.s.sion sizzles out as each day pa.s.s.
His eyes is becoming dull and he does not like having any skin contact with her anymore.
She does not want to accuse him of having a mistress, of cheating on her. She wants to trust him just as she has always been doing for the time they've been together.
But she isn't so sure of it now.
. . . . .
Her world shatters when she sees him kissing a beautiful woman just outside of a hotel.
No, that isn't just kissing. That is making out, pa.s.sionately, inside his car.
Maybe... Maybe it's just l.u.s.t. Her mind locks on the thought that he had touched someone else, maybe even before this day. But there is still something bigger than that that panics her.
It's just l.u.s.t. He's probably wanting to taste... another body. Maybe it was just a mistake?
It's not love.
Eventhough the thought hurts, that small hope manages to calm her down for a bit.
Even if apprehension is still there, lingering at her mind.
. . . . .
It's there. The softness in Jonas' eyes is there when he is looking at the woman. It is more than obvious even with just the photographs the person she hired to tail her husband had given her before he left with the rest of his payment.
There is gentleness in his eyes and the twinkle that she had thought disappeared is finally back.
Not for her, but for that woman. She chokes a sob.
Her heart shattered to tiny pieces.
. . . . .
He's gone.
Kara ignores the tears falling from her closed eyes. Without opening them, she moves her body to the other side of the bed and burrows her face on the pillow he used.
She should be used to this. This is not the first time he left, not the first time he secretly sneaked out in unG.o.dly hours, but her heart doesn't learn. It keeps on hoping and falling for him all over again, just to be torn to pieces each time she manages to grasp a tiny bit of happiness.
He is the only person she ever loves this much, the person who manages to capture her heart. He is also the person that matters to him the most now that broke it without any hint of intention of fixing it.
He is cruel, but she cannot escape the hold he has over her.
He is her husband, yet she feels like she is the one who has to ask for even a little bit of his love when she had it all before.
She should be numb to this, she should have learned already, yet her heart still years only to be crushed as time goes by.
. . . . .
"Happy Anniversary," Jonas greets her with a smile upon her arrival to their house, his dimples appearing. She is frozen as she stares at him. He is holding a bouquet of roses as he gives her a kiss on her cheek. There is a candlelight dinner prepared on the dining room where he leads her on.
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He cooked her favorite foods, had ordered her favorite baked cookies and gave her the book she had wanted to read.
Everything was surreal. It made her smile.
But her heart continues to be in pain and is bleeding without stop.
. . . . .
"I love you," she hears him softly say behind her while she is pretending to sleep with her back facing him.
It isn't for her. There was a pause befire he speaks again in the same soft voice.
"This is our anniversary. I never miss it. If I leave, she'll suspect us. We could be jailed."
She remain still, eyes close and dry.
Her heart slowly turns cold.
. . . . .
He brought his girl in their home.
Kara looked at the two people sleeping peacefully inside their bed, naked and with a smile on both their faces.
She slowly backs up a step, turns around and left, all without making a sound.
This isn't her home anymore. This is just a house.
She's feeling numb.
. . . . .
Two years. She thought he would eventually grow tired of his woman.
He did not. Instead, it looks like they are growing strong.
She should let go. She should leave. What she has with Jonas right now is toxic.
But she cannot. She loves him too much.
She can't let him go.
. . . . .
Jonas and Kara Danvers. Husband and wife. Lives in the house they had both dreamed of. Having a home they had poured their efforts to build.
Yet, the home she thought would be warm became just pretty and st.u.r.dy bricks that shelters them from the unpredictable weather. They are like strangers acting out a scene of married life perfectly.
Both have secrets.
Yet it's only her who feels like dying as each day pa.s.s by.
. . . . .
She's silent. It hurts to speak. Whenever she tries, it's like something is clogging her throat. His touches becomes barb wires digging deeper inside her heart. His kisses are knives that repeatedly stab her heart without any mercy. Their lovemaking feels like acid that is eating away her sanity.
She knows she won't last long. She have to leave. It's the only solution.
But thinking of him being out of her life makes her want to kill herself.
Kara knows she gave all of herself to him and did not leave any for herself and it's too late for regrets.
The only thing she knows is she can't let him go.
. . . . .
She saw, with her own eyes, how he acts around that woman without the two knowing of her shadowing them.
The repeat pains and heartaches she experiences through these years of knowing she lost his love makes her almost numb to pain.
Almost.
Seeing that, and knowing that threatening to divorce him might only drive him further away from her, she made a decision.
She is willing to share.