INSPIRATIONAL MUSINGS 47 Having A Bloated Impression Of Self Is Counter-Productive

"Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love."
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— Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

A lot of people walk around believing what is so untrue about themselves. The people I refer to are around us, we interact with them every now and then. They are very touchy and over sensitive, they believe a lie about themselves and live according to the dictates. This set of people are mostly arrogant and boastful albeit in a subtle manner.

For reasons bothering on the books they read or a borrowed lifestyle, or due to some well-to-do friends or family members they have been with for a period of time, they begin to see themselves as fortunate as those people they have read about or been with. In some cases, they have had to work with people of affluence or they have been opportuned one way or the other to be in control of funds/resources not owned by them. Whatever position they might have found themselves in the past was one that certainly raised their standard of living but didn't directly change their financial position for the better, but somehow they nevergotoverthat"false position" they occupied. They continued to enjoy the "lifestyle" in their heads regardless of the obvious reality. Now, I really need you to stay with me on this: the main reason people I refer to in this topic walk around with a false impression of themselves is having been a good student of power dynamics themselves, they have come to understand how powerful money is, they know that most times money comes with respect, they have seen that many times with the people they have been with, so they crave for the same level of respect but without the needed resources to earn the respect. If you take time to think about it properly, it is the people who demand for respect rather than work to earn it that are most insecure. They get angry easily over nothing, that is what happens when you want what you are not ready to work for.

I am sure some of us remember the hit single of the 90s from the musical group TLC NO SCRUBS. I was opportuned to attend the university when it meant a lot to drive your own car in school, not too many people had that rare privilege, and many girls used to make fun of perceived scrubs after there lease of the hit single. The song No Scrubs particularly took a dig at people who like to hang out with friends with cars but don't have a car of their own, the lyrics of the song defines a scrub as someone who sits at the pa.s.senger side of his best friend's ride always, also as someone who as an adult still lives with his parents. A scrub from what I was able to derive, according to the lyrics of the song, is simply someone who loves the good life but doesn't have the requisite resources yet to live same. The lyrics of the song describes perfectly the picture I have been trying to paint all day of people who want to earn the respect they don't deserve. Don't get me wrong, there are several ways to earn the respect of the people in your circle or the society at large, not necessarily through riches, but my belief is if you want to be respected because of the riches you claim to have or the resources you claim to control, then you must truly have it, it is completely erroneous to create a false impression of self in situations of this kind.

To have a better understanding of this topic is to first have a good understanding of the word bloated used in this context. Bloated is same as swollen, swollen can also mean a false extension, it also means something pumped out of size or form, now the synonym I find intriguing here is the "false extension". It simply means someone who has a bloated impression of self is an individual with an exaggerated a.s.sessment of his or her capabilities.

This can also be described as an individual who paints an untrue picture of his or her abilities to others. The truth is one needs a lot of humility to excel in life. That is why someone with a bloated impression of self might never become successful in life. Most times because of an exaggerated a.s.sessment of self, people who reason in this manner turn down great offers of jobs or businesses. They go for businesses they lack the capacity or finances to excel at, they apply for jobs that they surely won't be able to pa.s.s through the interview stage because of missing qualities. They pursue initiatives they lack the intelligence, resources or connection to nurture to fruition, at the end of the day they flatten out, frustrated, bitter and angry because they have lost every sense of self-worth.

I will advise you also watch who they like to interact and make friends with as well. There's nothing wrong in making friends with the high and mighty people in the society, but when you do that on a false or incorrect premise, then it becomes risky, because there is always a risk of being found out on the long run as phoney.

Living one's life in this manner leads to humiliation on the long run, most times this happens in a situation where someone wants to prove a needless point over a period of time such that the individual gets used to living the role. Now, the problem with playing a role of this type is that no one takes an individual with a questionable character like this seriously, people who exhibit characters like this are seen as chronic liars because they lie most times to play the role perfectly since there's really nothing to show for what they claim they are capable of.

Like I posited earlier that this isn't restricted to money available to the individual suffering from this malaise alone, many people also present a front like this intellectually, they are cerebrally deficient in a field they claim to know very well, but they are limited in the knowledge or understanding of how things work properly in that field. They begin to pontificate privately or publicly over a matter they lack complete knowledge of, many people in this category are the rumour mongers as well, they don't process information very well before they spread the news. Little do they know that it is better to keep quiet when you aren't informed well about a topic, instead of making a fool of oneself by saying the wrong things.

Same can be seen in the area of professional experience, they try to create an impression they have been around for a while, when in fact they haven't put in enough years to boss others in the industry. Unfortunately, unknown to artists of this type they would have been better off presenting their original selves to the world rather than trying to be what they aren't, because at the end of the day they get found out and put to shame.

Someone with a bloated impression of self will be boastful most times to make up for obvious deficiencies. The saddest part after being found out by friends and a.s.sociates alike is that everyone acts like all is okay, no one will tell the individual in question anything about what they know already about him or her, they will simply play along but will never do any meaningful project or business with the individual or provide any help of note. Please if you ever have an inkling that for whatever reason you exhibit this trait, desist as quickly as possible and make things right today because there's always a day of reckoning. It's never too

late to change.