Tales Of A Killer Flower 34 Pine Cones Deserve To Be Nerfed

The pine cones vines lashed out at me with VERY hostile intent. I used my own vines to form a wall in my attempt to block them but, much to my surprise, instead of slamming into the makes.h.i.+ft defenses, they started to wrap around my vines. They used their barbs to shred through my vines with terrifying speed. Instead of trying to continue using my vines to defend myself, I tore free what few vines that were intact and leaped off of the wagon.

I let my Feather Fall take care of me as I landed on the ground without any harm. That is until several more vines struck out at me. Using several vines, I rolled myself out of their way, losing said vines in the process to the barbs of my enemy. Ah, f.u.c.k! I forgot I knocked some of the pine cones to the ground! There were only five of them, but that was already five more than I was comfortable dealing with. Just like the pine cones on the roof of the wagon, these c.o.c.ky b.a.s.t.a.r.ds looked exactly like a normal pine cone. Well if you just ignore the dozens of vines coming out from between their scales.

You piney a.s.sholes may have a good matchup against my vines, but let's see how you like fire! Just as I was about to blast a righteous ball of fire at the cones, another one of the d.a.m.ned pine cones fell from directly above me. I was barely able to launch myself away with the help of my 360 mana sight keeping me from being caught by surprise. Upon landing, the pine cone sunk several centimeters into the ground. Yikes!

Following this half, a dozen pine cones fell to the ground around me, forcing me to dance around to avoid getting crushed. Seriously, how the h.e.l.l do they have enough weight to sink into the G.o.dd.a.m.n ground!? Well, nevertheless, it just means these scrubs probably aren't very maneuverable. So at least I can depend on my agility.

As if to spite me, however, the bottom scales of the pine cones began to extend and twist as they began to stand up on their transformed scales. Now, this is just getting ridiculous! What are these things!? Anti-Joe monsters!?! I've had enough of this! I'm going to kill these things with fire.

I began hurling ball of fire after ball of fire towards the pine cones in my furious rage to eradicate them, but even this proved to be a futile effort on my part. Instead of the fireb.a.l.l.s burning them as I had believed, the pine cones slid their vines back inside of them, and then somehow closed their scales to form a sh.e.l.l. And when the fireb.a.l.l.s. .h.i.t this sh.e.l.l of scales, it dissipated harmlessly.

Well, I guess I should have expected this if that druid mage dude was so confident in these things. Which leaves only one intelligent option for me to rely upon.
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RUN LIKE h.e.l.l!!

I didn't wait for the overpowered pine cones to revert back to their unfolded state, I just started running. But they weren't the only enemies to deal with! Oh no, that would have been too easy for me, wouldn't it!? There was still that f.u.c.king druid man who was blasting green energy bolts towards the fairies directions, and then there were the dozens of adventurers to deal with! I was forced to leap, roll, and sacrifice a few vines to avoid getting slashed, crushed, stabbed, and stomped by the various angry adventurers I ran past.

Just as I broke free from the adventurers camp, a vine flew towards me far quicker than I could react to and wrapped around a bundle of my roots. I fell to the ground as the vine yanked on my roots and started to reel me back towards the camp. No! No! No! I am NOT going to die like this!

I dug my vines into the ground and desperately fought back against the enemy vine to free myself. Upon finding it difficult to pull me further, the vine was joined by several more that reached out to grab my stem. Like h.e.l.l, I'd let them do that after seeing what they did to my vines! I sacrificed yet more vines to tangle them up while what few others I had repeatedly stabbed at the vine holding me back until I tore it off.

Upon achieving my newfound freedom, I tore the rest of my vines free and started running again. Behind me, I watched as nearly a dozen pine cones sprinted after me, gaining ground with each pa.s.sing second. What the f.u.c.k people!? Why are these things so fast!? This is cheating! If I can't kill you b.a.s.t.a.r.ds, I can at least slow you down!

I formed the fireball glyph again and began blasting fireb.a.l.l.s at my pursuers, thanking whatever the h.e.l.l it was helping me cast the spell the entire time. The pine cones displayed their superb agility as they leaped out of the way of the fireb.a.l.l.s repeatedly while barely losing any speed. Suddenly an arrow flew through the darkness and landed between the scales of one of the pine cones just as it dodged a fireball. An ear-splitting screech erupted from it as it collapsed to the ground with its vines twitching. One of the fairies with a bow flew up beside me. Joseline, I think this one was named.

"Nice shot! Think you can do it again!?" I hastily asked her.

"Not at all! I did that by accident!" She replied with a big grin on her face.

"Then what the h.e.l.l were you aiming for!? You know what don't tell me. Just tell your sisters to get back to the grove ASAP!" I ordered her, to which she did the mock salute I taught her and flew up and disappeared into the night.

I swear, if I can get a flying ability or something, I'm taking it. It looks f.u.c.king convenient. But at the very least I only have ten more of the pine cone monstrosities to deal with. Speaking of which, my fireb.a.l.l.s were starting to affect the f.u.c.kers less effectively as time went on. I think they're actually learning! Each time I send a ball of fire their way, instead of dodging it, they use one of their vines to attack it and cause it to explode prematurely. Which means it doesn't actually reach them.

And that's bad because they're not slowing down then. Actually, I don't think I can keep up this fireball barrage much longer anyways. But that wouldn't matter soon as we've finally arrived in the place my vines will help me the most! The forest. The moment I entered the forest, I shot out my vines and rapidly ascended to the branches of the trees. As I foresaw, instead of staying on the ground, the pine cones used their own vines to climb up to the branches of the trees.

SNAP!

The moment the first pine cone wrapped its vines around the branches I had been using, the branch snapped and the piney b.a.s.t.a.r.d plummeted to the ground. A chorus of snaps followed shortly after as the pine cones who had followed the first fell to the ground. Ahahaha! Dumba.s.ses thought they were hot stuff! But just as I had thought, they were too heavy for the thinner branches I had been using to swing on. I, on the other hand, don't weigh nearly as much!

Ah, f.u.c.k. I watched as the pine cones, who followed after the last batch of failures, chose more carefully and used the thicker branches to successfully swing after me. Meanwhile, the ones who fell chased after me on the ground. Just gotta make it to the grove. If I can do that, the dryads can do something about them. I am nowhere near tough enough to outmatch these things. Not after losing ⅔ of my vines fighting them.

I swear if I ever see that druid again I'll kill him for the suffering he's put me through!!