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Yesha was red, although she was neither tipsy nor blabbering nonsense like what other drunks did.
"I'm okay. I'm not yet drunk," she insisted as she sipped from her gla.s.s once more and flinched at its bitter taste.
We were sitting at Yesha's living room in her tiny apartment. Originally, we were supposed to meet at the bar, but when I got there, she looked so fragile with those pair of haunted eyes like she hadn't slept and spent the night weeping. I'd never seen anyone so pitiful and I knew we shouldn't stay there and so we ended up at her apartment which was near the bar.
I bought lots of beer and a few hard drinks for us to share and now, a couple of hours after, Yesha still hadn't said a word and I wouldn't ask. I already knew what was wrong with her anyway and I really didn't want to listen to her telling me about her lost love – most especially about the spineless piece of garbage, a poor excuse of a lover who dumped her in a flash for an opportunity.
"No, you're not yet drunk but you're getting there," I stated as my eyes lowered to her lips, swollen from directly drinking from the can.
"No I'm not. I can handle liquor well," she retorted as her hands gripped the can; her eyes moistened with tears as her lips trembled.
She looked really lost and I found myself not wanting to see her break down – not if it wasn't about me. That was how selfish I was, I realized.
"Well, if you can handle your liquor then I guess you can finish these," I said indicating the untouched grocery bag filled with beer and chips. "I had enough of my share for the night. Don't worry about drinking too much. It's a Tuesday tomorrow, slow day for the bar. You can skip work. I'll take care of it," I said as I stood up.
I didn't want to see her cry for another man. I didn't want to bear witness to how miserable she was because of him.
As soon as I stood however, Yesha suddenly leaned over, kneeling on the floor to grab my leg, stopping me from moving.
"Don't leave…" she whispered huskily and I knew she was crying. "Don't leave. I don't want to be alone. I need a friend. Please stay…"
Silence hung between us for a few seconds as I stared at the top of her head. "I'm not your friend," I said softly afterwards and I heard her inhale sharply as if I slapped her across her face.
"I'm sorry…I thought…" she whispered and I felt her grip on me loosen as she gave in to her sobs.
"Yesha…"
I closed my eyes for a few seconds before I turned to her and kneeled before her to look at her face. She was openly sobbing in her hands and I mentally kicked myself for adding to her emotional burden. I knew that with the way I spoke, she would have misunderstood me again.
"Yesha," I called her name again as I pried her hands away from her face. "Look at me," I ordered and when she didn't, I repeated my command. This time, I spoke more sternly and she followed.
"I'm not your friend, because I can't be your friend," I said and when her brow creased in her confusion, I decided to be honest in spite knowing that this wasn't the time to confess to her.
"You should know by now that I'm in love with you," I continued and watched as her eyes widened in shock.
"B-but…that can't be…" she stammered, making excuses for me but I didn't give her a chance to escape.
Knowing her, she'd try to psychoa.n.a.lyze my feelings and chalk it up to me being exposed to her, mistaking fondness in friends.h.i.+p with love. I didn't need that s.h.i.+t thrown my way after my confession.
"Shut up!" I ordered once again and when she stopped, I reached out and touched her face.
My eyes continued to bore on hers and I knew that my expression had softened. My heart beat erratically in my chest as I leaned over.
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"If you don't make me leave, I wouldn't know what I'll do to you," I whispered as I closed the gap between us and sealed her lips with mine.
Our kiss started with a soft peck but I got greedy and pulled her head towards mine so I could kiss her deeper. She didn't protest when my tongue invaded her sweet cavern, and when I felt her losing control of her emotions, I grabbed the chance and decided to go beyond a kiss. I transferred to her neck, savoring her sweet smell as I traced her jaw and throat with my lips, tongue and teeth, kissing and nipping her alternately.
My hands too had started to wander on her body while she remained still, yielding to my desires. In a matter of seconds, I had her s.h.i.+rt removed, exposing her smooth, white flesh and felt her s.h.i.+ver. Feeling triumphant, I leaned over her once more to whisper in her ear.
"If you want me to leave, tell me now," I said although there was no way in h.e.l.l I'd leave.
"Yesha, if you want me to go, now is your only chance to tell me so," I repeated my command and Yesha's arms anch.o.r.ed around my shoulder as she sobbed.
"Don't leave," she cried. "I don't care what you do to me as long as you won't go," she continued and I smiled at her back as I scooped her up from the floor and carried her towards her small bedroom.
I knew that I was a first cla.s.s jerk, making her decide upon this in her vulnerable state, but I didn't give a s.h.i.+t. In business and in personal matters, all was fair in love and war. Those who were not willing to fight and take risks had no business competing at all.
That night, amidst Yesha's tears and cries, I made sure that those wild, hot daydreams of mine came true – and they did, and it felt so much more wonderful in reality.
I applauded the warrior in me as I made slow, sweet love to her. I made sure that after this one night, all traces of her former lover would be gone and everything would be replaced by me.