Alexithymia: The Curse Of Transcendence 8 The Weight Of Culpability

"Good evening prosper Aleksithimia, good evening Quarta." Bowed Seconda.

"Good evening." Nion bowed back.

"Good evening Seànn!It's been I while since you left." Greeted her Aleksithimia.

"Yes, as you can see, I am still in one piece." Replied Seànn.

"What brings you here such late time?" Asked Aleksithimia.

"I need to talk to you in private when would be the best time for you?" She asked.

"Well, I believe our meeting is over?" Aleksithimia asked Nion.

"Yes, I should get going." Nion lowered her head and headed towards the entrance.

As Nion was walking towards the exit, she crossed paths with Seànn and they made eye contact. Cla.s.s is a mysterious essence that comes in many forms, depending on the person. It largely comes from a person's sense of themselves – from confidence without brashness, from courtesy, from kindness, and often includes a distinct sense of style and gesture. Seànn is a strong woman and a warrior, but she is also a lady who displays self-respect, appreciation, dignity, and moderation in her daily actions. She finished "second" during the Grand Central prosper qualification, which also means that she is the second most capable of ruling the lands of the Grand Central after Aleksithimia and currently holds "vice" prosper status that grants her the executive privileges almost the same as the Prosper himself.

Seànn gave her a blank expression and continued walking. It was one of those rare moments when Quarta and Seconda have met in person. Stunned by Seann's beauty, Nion slowed down her pace as if she was a child who happened to meet her idol for the first time. Except for Thermoaimos and his brother Raiwin, who are respectively using their "Keepers" codenames: Quinto and Terzo. Both of them are responsible for the largest area that connects Zenit which is the Nordic area that is currently being closed off.

Nion left the room and bowed for the last time before she closed the door.

"Here is the report from the last three months. How have you been doing since I left?" Asked Seànn.

"Thermoaimos has informed me that his brother has disappeared three days ago." He replied while reviewing the report.

"Raiwin? Disappeared... Any clue about his whereabouts yet?" She asked.

"Thermoaimos has been out searching for his brother, tracking his "Kanjöga" collar device with the a.s.sistance of Mitera System, but no clue so far. I've reviewed the server logs, and it is just as if his device was abruptly shut down or disconnected from our network. I do not have a clear explanation of this incident yet." Said Aleksithimia.

"Mitera Server has been hijacked?" She asked.

"Sigh, another fool who is trying hard to make my life complicated... In any case, we have to consider the possibility of abduction. However, if that is the case, their motives are still unknown...

"I am sure, you will handle it." Said Seànn.

"Like I always do." He shrugged.

Anything else?" Asked Seànn.

"We are experiencing a major increase in trespa.s.sing incidents at Elpida's borders, why they just don't get that they are not welcome in here..." Desperately exhaled Aleksithimia.

"Who is in charge of the area right now?" Asked Seànn.

"Quarta..." he replied.

"Well...We are the best place in the world to live right now, so the raids and immigration problems are something to expect to happen." He said.

"I think this is the exact reason why you should be more careful." Said Seànn.

"I would advise informing all security and Keepers members as soon as possible." Advised Seànn.

"Agreed. I will raise the caution alert and will have to spend some time and review Mitera's System security patches, this will surely give me a better idea of what happened." Said Aleksithimia.

"You should not underestimate desperate and hopeless people who are fighting for their life every day. Greed and miscommunication, are the essence that triggered the wars between nations from the past. The world around us is full of hatred, envy and other toxic emotions that you are doing your best to keep your people away from, but until when?" Said Seànn.

"Oh, give me a break! Quarta said something very similar just minutes ago." Said Aleksithimia.

"Well, she is right then, who else than you should listen to your people, you are the ruler of these lands." Replied Seànn.

"Toxic emotions are not my enemies, people who lose all rational senses and become blindly driven by toxic emotions are the ones who represent a danger to our lands." He said.

"I can return that same logic against you, are you sure that peace of yours will last forever?" Asked Seànn.

Aleksithimia finishes reading the report and stands up from his desk.

"I've pledged that I will protect this country. Whoever will try to harm these lands under my reign, will be exterminated; Nothing more, nothing less..." He said.

"Whatever you say my highness!" Said Seànn.

"Wait, are you being sarcastic right now?" Confused he asked.
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"That's what it says in the book I read." She replied.

"Hmm, interesting, what's the name of your book?"

"The confused king." Replied Seànn.

"Very funny, from someone who can't laugh, huh?!" Said Aleksithimia.

Seànn looked at him in silence without saying anything to his provocation then turned her back and was about to leave.

"My bad, my bad...I am sorry." He suddenly apologized as he saw Seànn leaving.

"Seconda! Before you leave, I need you to do something for me".

"I am listening..." Replied Seànn.

"If Keepers are being targeted, I would like you to keep a closer eye on Quarta. My hands are full, plus Terzo is missing and now we got something going on at Elpida's borders. Quarta is strong, I am sure she will handle everything by herself, but just in the case, try to watch over her."

"Fine." Replied Seànn.

"As expected from my strongest ally! But, really, thanks for helping me all these times, if that's you I can be sure that everything is going to be all right."

"I will do the best I can." Replied Seànn.

"Excellent, now I should go back to work and fix all that mess." Said Aleksithimia as he went chocked the remainings of scotch and went back to his desk.

"By the way. What about Thermoaimos kid?" Seann stopped him from leaving.

"Ah, Quinto..."

"There is a possibility that he is being targeted as well." Explained Seànn.

"You know the guy...Concealing his emotions was clearly not enough to calm his choleric temper... Wild as he is, especially since his brother went missing, I am sure he will look for troubles himself".

"That's my problem with him..." Said Seànn.

"Ah...It is not a kindergarten here, but fine, I will keep a close eye on him. Deal?"

"Whatever you say, your highness." Replied Seànn and then left the room.

[Same day, late-evening – Old town]

Still trapped in her thoughts trying to figure out if the conclusion of the discussion with her brother has satisfied her or not, Nion was on her way to the central hospital. Since she has not returned to the city for a little while, she decided to pa.s.s by her favorite coffee shop for a brief moment of relaxation before continuing her journey.

The coffee shop " Heaven Café" was located in the middle of the old town, the district that has been rebuild mirroring the old architecture from before the war. Families and young people frequented the old town the most. There were lots of historic museums, expositions, and other artistic establishment and mixed communities. Nion ordered her favorite "Strawberry macchiato" and sat down at the single-seat counter and begun reviewing her private messages meanwhile listening to music from her headphones and enjoying the sunny weather outside.

Nion ordered her favorite "Strawberry macchiato" and sat down at the single-seat counter and begun reviewing her private messages meanwhile listening to music from her headphones and enjoying the sunny weather outside.

While she was enjoying her drink and listening to the smooth melody of the song, Nion has opened the old private mailbox that she used before she was a.s.signed to became the part of the Keepers. Similar to most of the unused mailboxes, it was filled with spam, Mitera System flash news and occasional messages from the rebel groups that were sent to recruit new members, spread more propaganda against prosper Aleksithimia rules and revolt the population against the "Kanjöga" emotional suppression system.

Most of these groups were operating from outside the capital because the network signal of the Mitera surveillance system is weaker due to the technical limitations of surrounding areas. The local authorities were less present for the law enforcement missions around suburban areas because of a lack of technology and equipment resources. However, most of the time, Mitera Surveillance System was able to identify the sources of propaganda by locating and identifying them. The local authorities took care of the rest.

While Nion was scrolling down the messages, one mail particularly got her attention because of the name of the sender. The name was different from the usual ident.i.ty stealing email model templates. The sender was identified as "Y". Even though the message has been encrypted, thanks to Aleksithimia's teaching about "network routing algorithms", Nion was able to identify that this mail had been sent from "Elpida's domain". The sender knew the recipient's ident.i.ty.

The mail contained the following message:

[There are cemeteries that are lonely, Clogwyn's graves full of bones that do not make a sound, my heart moving through a tunnel, in its darkness, darkness, darkness, like a s.h.i.+pwreck, we die going into ourselves, as though I am willing to be drowned inside your heart, as though I live to see you breaking into pieces of emptiness.] -RAKUEN act 1-

Perturbed by the content of the message Nion abruptly stopped the music and started looking around in a stressed manner, but did not find any suspicious signs around her. After taking a closer look at inside the coffee shop, she noticed major changes compared to the last time when she visited the place, which happened to be just after the emotional suppression project implementation.

Heaven Café had lost all its charm, the coffee machine noises had ceased to exist, the ground coffee smell had disappeared because the coffee-making process had been reinvented to a fully automatic environment. Multiple self-service machines had replaced human staff at the counter who was the essence of the human exchange service itself. The whole place, even outside the shop, seemed like a graveyard of people who minded their own business without interacting with others. Customers were drinking their orders while looking at their mobile devices as if there was an invisible bubble surrounding them, a bubble that created a comfort zone that none of them wanted to leave.

Nion stood up and was on her way to the hospital while reviewing the message, trying to identify anything that could give her an idea of the ident.i.ty of "Y".

Aleksithimia has just sent the message to all Keepers members informing that there is a potential Mitera System security breach, a brief report about Terzo (Keepers rang #3) went missing several days ago and that Aleksithimia is taking care of that incident personally.

[Same evening - Central Hospital]

Nion entered the occupied room, where the older brother who happened to be electrified by her weapon lied on the bed. Minutes later, the doctor in charge and a nurse has entered the room while examining the x-ray scans and some other doc.u.ments.

"Good evening Doctor, is he going to make it?" Asked Nion.

Another nurse came into the treatment room, giving the report to the doctor. Both were whispering while discussing the report next to the patient. Their discussion has ended as the doctor made a hand signal to both nurses to leave the room and only then replied to Nion.

"That young man you brought here... He is not one of us, correct?" Asked doctor.

"What do you mean by "us", sir?" Asked Nion.

"That pale skin, dark curly hair, I've never seen someone like that around here. Where is he coming from?" Doctor asked.

"You are correct, he is coming from Elpida...I think... Is there something wrong with that?" She asked.

The doctor closed the entrance door after the nurse left.

"Yes, I am afraid. Due to the strict regulations of our establishment, we will not proceed with further treatment of this patient."

"I beg your pardon?!" Said Nion.

"Central Hospital of Great Aleksithimia is a public establishment reserved exclusively for residents of Lands of Aleksithimia. The hospital is operating by the rules and policies of the prosper Aleksithimia regulations. According to these, non-resident admission is forbidden regardless of the patient's condition" Said doctor.

"I am speechless..." Replied Nion.

"I did my best and successfully stopped the hemorrhage, but this is as far as his treatment goes in this hospital." He explained.

"Wait, you are willing to let this poor kid die because he is not our resident, are you kidding me?!" Insisted Nion.

"If you want to put it that way." Said doctor.

"Great! What is going to happen next?!" Nion asked.

"The patient has received severe heart damage and lost more than one-third of his blood. Currently, his heart is pumping on its 150% trying to increase the blood pressure, so he needs to rest, preferably to provide further medical a.s.sistance" said doctor.

"In other words?!" She asked.

"You should take him somewhere else than here and finish the treatment if you want him to live." He said while looking at the patient.

"Where?!"

"I spoke to my colleagues, none of them are willing to take this patient under their custody for the same reason I've just told you." Replied doctor.

"Unbelievable!" Said Nion with an angry tone.

"As you can see, the patient has not regained consciousness and due to the blood loss, his body has entered into a hypovolemic shock state, he would need another 2 or 3 days before he gets better. Nevertheless, as I just explained to you, we can't proceed with his treatment here, I am sorry...Perhaps, I would advise you to send him to the hospital where he is coming from." Said Doctor.

"I can't believe that a doctor is telling what I am hearing right now." Said Nion hysterically.

"I am sorry for that." Said doctor.

"How can you be a doctor who is refusing to help people when they need you the most?"

"If he would be our citizen, there won't be any problems at all, but he is not. Please keep in mind that you are the one who has brought him here." Said doctor.

"Where else do you want me to take him, are you kidding me?" Shouted Nion.

"Madam...You, out of everyone else should know the rules of our lands." He insisted.

"Listen to me. You are the doctor, I need you to do your d.a.m.n job and your job right now is to fixed the kid on this bed!" She pointed to the sleeping children.

"I am a doctor indeed, but I don't fix, I treat people..."

"THEN TREAT HIM LIKE A HUMAN BEING NOT A STRAY DOG!" Fully of anger, Nion grabbed the doctor by his robe.

"You can yell as much as you want madam, this won't change anything. The law is the law. As I've already repeated myself multiple times, you should be grateful that I've managed to stop the blood loss. Without my intervention, he would be dead by now, do you understand that?" Said doctor as he removed Nion's hands from him. "I believe that our conversation is over, now please excuse me, as you can see around, we already got our hands full..." He got interrupted by Nion.

"I don't give a d.a.m.n about your hands being full, I need that kid to live and that "you" or any of your colleagues finish the treatment instead of sending half-dead body away, this is simply unacceptable!" She raised her voice once again.

"I will repeat myself one last time, I can't help you with that matter." Replied doctor.

"d.a.m.n it! What's wrong with you people?! How can you refuse to treat someone just because he is coming from another country! It is so wrong... Just imagine if you will be in the same situation but at Elpida's hospital and they would refuse to take care of you?! Do you think that's normal?"

"I understand your point but..." He got interrupted by Nion once again.

"No, you don't! You are not even trying!" She shouted.

"Your anger is understandable, but rules are rules, I have no intentions of sacrificing my career for an outsider." Said doctor.

"Ah I see, so it is all about your career, huh...Why am I even losing my time with you..." Nion grabbed her head.

Nion touched Alexis's face and then the rest of the body that was losing heat faster than it could produce it. Feelings of guilt and responsibility were getting heavier each second.

"Just hang on a little longer, I promise, I promise you will be all right" She whispered to his ear.

"We will discharge the patient tomorrow evening unless you take him somewhere else before that time." Said doctor.

"Do you know any other places or anyone who could help him? Places that are closer than Elpida...?" She asked.

"At this point, this is none of my concern." Cleaned the operation table and was about to leave. "I saw many people dying during my career and what I've learned from that is that people's lives are not equal...I wish you a good evening ahead." The doctor left the room.

Nion stayed in the room looking at the unconscious child. She was almost crying due to not being able to help him. He seemed to be having a nightmare as his body had some nervous tics. or a second he opened his eyes wide open staring at the surgical lamp pointing onto his bed as if it was the sun that was about to engulf his body.

"Asta!" p.r.o.nounced Alexis while half asleep.

Right after he p.r.o.nounced the last word, he collapsed on the bed unconscious.

A couple of minutes later, Mitera System had sent an emergency notification that there is another group of trespa.s.sers storming the borderline of Elpida.

Nion, left the hospital in a rush, heading to the outpost...