The Golden Awakening 12 Sarah

I could not understand the place I was in, what I experienced and still am, it all seemed so absurd, even the mark on my wrist was unreal to me. Sometimes, even if for a limited amount of time, I thought what I was seeing must have been a dream.

I closed my eyes and once I opened them I had the same life of months ago. I rediscovered what at the time I used to think was merely normal, such as my mother vacuuming my room on a hot summer morning, even though she was aware of the disapproval I had for such an appliance and we would end up arguing, since I did not want to hear the hustle and be disturbed while I tried to rest, especially during my holidays. But then I realised what just happened was only a memory, and while I re-opened my eyes, this time for real, I found myself in a world which did not belong to me.

"Sarah? Earth to Sarah!" Mitsuko shouted.

"I can hear you! What is the matter?" I asked.

"It's been more than an hour and you're constantly playing with your food and staring at the wall. Don't tell me you forgot we need to go to the Ehiern?"

"Where should we go?"

"The king is coming today, and you have not even put on your uniform."

"I don't particularly like uniforms."

"You can choose skirts or shorts."

"This is a nightmare."

"You'll love it."

"When is the king coming?" I asked.

"In an hour he will be here, and you mustn't be late," Mitsuko replied.

"Then, I might not go."

"You can't," Nathan said.

"I don't know anything about this king you're talking to me about. I need s.p.a.ce and time to a.s.similate everything, and since I have been here, I didn't have neither of them."

"Look at me Sar, we're here, I'm always next to you. I promise you, it will all pa.s.s sooner or later," Robert said.

I left quickly, I knew he wanted to make me feel better, but how could he know for sure if it would all disappear? It would not go away in a day or a month, each little detail of events changed in a blink of an eye and sooner or later I would have surely crashed at the speed in which my mind was trying to figure out what was happening around me.

Nonetheless, what he told me could have been an accurate truth, I should have made this day go by as usual, and perhaps, one day it would all be finally over, right?

***

Even my room made me feel as if I was locked up, every detail my eyes saw, such as a photo, or an object which could have been irrelevant, gave me the constant thought of a life which was thrown at me, at the cost of the one which I once had.

I approached the oval mirror near my desk, but I could not see myself in it, physically yes, I was always the same as before, but inside I could feel I was fading. It was in these moments I needed her, my mom would have been here listening to my doubts, she would have told me to keep my head high, how every one of us has a destiny in this world. Though, if I could choose, she would be by my side taking care of me when I would finally break in a thousand small pieces.

I had countless people around me, then why did I feel so lonely? It was not as if I did not appreciate loneliness, I welcomed it most of the time, but as I sensed the tears flowing down my cheeks, I realised every day how much death left a hole in me. I was certain it was not coming but instead it painfully injured me.

While I recalled her voice, her smell, it profoundly agonized me, as I was unable to breathe. I frequently imagined her face standing beside me when my feet would be weary to walk any longer, my voice would not emit any sound, or I felt as if I would slowly perish. Those same memories which hurt me prior to this moment would be the only ones to help me go forward, and deep down I knew how selfish I was for not letting her go completely.

I saw myself with this uniform and I did not recognise any changes other than my life, which was entirely upside down.

I should scream of joy because I could notice a world which normal humans would never experience in a lifetime, or I could shout how much resentment I had bottled up because the life I once had cannot be reached anymore. I should feel unique or perhaps it had not hit me yet. I clearly did not know myself or have I ever known who I was?

This uniform does not represent me, this academy does not convey who I could be, I would be an outcast in their eyes. How should I be the reymir of a group, without the proper knowledge of what it could mean to these people?

Aliya was right, I should have run when I had the chance, escaping from this madness, instead, I tried to think logically of an existence which was basically illogical. Escaping? Would this be the answer? If I ran my mother would be distraught of my decision, which would have been made by my own fear of too many changes in my life. It could make even the wisest of men go insane and I knew I was not wise, not yet, but I was definitely becoming mad.

I was taught to face my fears no matter how big or terrifying they might be, they were only a creation of my mind, like when I saw myself during the trial with pitch-black eyes, it might have been my fears manifesting themselves. If I would have seen it again, I could not close my eyes waiting for it to end, I had to be stronger, I had to defeat the terror hidden within me.

I was ready to meet the king. I wiped the last of my tears, and when I touched the door handle, I noticed my hand burning as if my bones were melting from the inside. I could not understand what had happened. I felt the throbbing pain on my flesh and checked my right hand endlessly as I examined whether there was any apparent burn, but surprisingly enough, I could not notice any wound.

The room became increasingly hot and I was confident it was not a hallucination. Sweat fell from my forehead as if I had just done a marathon in the middle of the summer. I kicked the door several times, but it seemed to be made of steel.

"Mitsuko are you out there?! Is anyone out there?!" I screamed as loud as I could, I felt I was within a bubble, no one could have heard me while my breathing became increasingly laboured, it seemed as all the oxygen was sucked away from where I was standing.

I needed someone, I kept thinking over and over this phrase in my head as I tried to smash the door with the only force I had left in my body, which was not a lot, when, out of nowhere fire materialized within the room. It wrapped anything on its path, it was an unusual fire, it had an apparent shape of a phoenix and a mind of its own.

"Who is out there? Are you this much of a psycho that you want me dead?" I asked.

"No!" a voice said.

"Then stop this fire!"

"Where is the fun in this? They told me you're special and I wanted to test it by myself, but I only see a whiny little girl, 'oh, poor mummy died' what a pity, grow up!"

"Did you read my mind?"

"I didn't need to read your thoughts, I guess it would be boring. I spied your every movement this past week, which was not as thrilling as I expected it to be."

"Oh, I'm sorry if you are not amused. Let me out this instant!"

"You are trapped in a room surrounded by fire. Now, I believe it's not a smart move to make me angry, don't you think?" she said while she materialized inside my dorm. "Alaik liren!" she said, as she stopped the explosive fire which was destroying the whole room with a simple hand gesture, while I waited for this nightmare to end.

"I must say I came here to see if you would react with your extraordinary powers, but I guess you're not controlling them very well or maybe you didn't feel too threatened, which if this is the case, it means I must have been too nice," she grinned.

"You're unstable!" I yelled.

"Unstable? I adore the fire in your eyes. I'm Jennifer Phox and if you are smart enough, you would have figured out by now why I am here."

"I don't know who you are or why you're here."

"Fine, I am here because I intend you to be my reity. I'll help you with your integration in Naeyriv and all the nonsense which we need to memorize for you guys."

"No! I refuse to be whatever a reity is."

"Refuse? You should be grateful. I chose you to be my reity, which if you don't know, it means, once you accept, you'll serve me until you die."

"No way, I won't accept!"

"Silly response. I would have killed you if I really wanted to," she said, opening the door as she glanced at the clock beside her, "shoot, I think you just missed the king speech. I a.s.sume his majesty would not be pleased, but I don't mind since I don't like him either. I have a good feeling about you and I tend to always be right."

She stood outside of my dorm as her hands removed some of her brown curls from her face. She had a beautiful olive complexion and while a small part of me was amazed by her beauty, her bright cerulean eyes upon contact with mine gave me a distinct sensation of melancholy and sadness, even when she smiled, it did not emit a malevolent nature but rather a gruelling agony.

I could see her golden eyes appearing as she waved her hand at me, a.s.suming we would have seen each other again, as she dematerialised in front of me in a bright light. I notably despised this girl, however I grasped the anguish and a fire of vengeance which I had never detected in someone else. She seemed an open book on the surface, while she kept her essence hidden from indiscrete eyes, such as mine.