Reflections Of A Man Part 9

Many men have sight, but only a few have a vision. Vision is what allows men to understand where we are going and what it will take to get there.

Ladies, find a man with a vision. Thats the only way to be sure you two are headed for the same destination.

The Most Beautiful Things About You The right man will see you in a way that only a man who truly loves and adores you can see you: with his heart and not with his eyes.

The most beautiful things about you cant be seen or touched; they cant be captured in a photograph or recorded on a video. The most beautiful things about you will go unseen by the man who sees you only with his eyes and not with his heart. But the man who takes the time to really get to know you, to listen to you, and to ultimately understand you, will see you very differently. That man will see your beauty as a blind man would describe it; not based on what he sees, but based on how he feels.

You see, the right man will appreciate your beauty on the outside, but h.e.l.l love you for your beauty on the inside.

NOTES:.

Describe the right man for you. The catch is, you cannot mention anything about his physical or financial a.s.sets. I want you to focus specifically on how he would meet your emotional, mental and spiritual needs.

Memorize this list so that when you meet a man, regardless of his looks or his money, you can close your eyes and ask yourself whether or not he looks anything like this list. Not based on what you see, but based on how he makes you feel. If he does remind you of your list, thats a good start; but if he doesnt, you may want to reconsider whether or not hes right for you.

Part II.

For Him.

CHAPTER.

Eighteen.

FROM.

ONE MAN.

TO.

ANOTHER.

If you love her, be strong enough, not only to tell her, but to show her as well, or be strong enough to watch her be loved by someone else.

Pay Attention To One Woman I believe that if some men would just stop trying to impress all women and simply focus on the physical and emotional needs of the one they are with, their lives would be far less expensive and much more fulfilling.

A man will get more fulfillment from the love of one woman than he will from the attention of many. He simply needs to focus on the woman hes with, let go of the rest and everything else will fall into place.

If You Dont Talk To Her If you dont talk to her, for at least an hour each day, youll have no idea about what is going on in her life.

If you are really interested in what is going on in her life, you will take the time to talk to her and listen to what she has to say.

My advice is that you should make every effort to be a part of whats going on with her on a day to day basis. If you dontsomeone else will.

Her Silence Speaks Volumes A womans silence is one of her most powerful forms of communication; it conveys emotions, so intense, that no words could possibly describe how she feels at that moment.

If you find yourself on the receiving end of a womans silent treatment and are curious as to whether or not you should be concerned, the answer isYES! Sometimes, all she needs is a little time. Whatever you do, dont force the issue. When you feel a break in the tension, sit down with her and talk to her about whats bothering her. Remember, dont try to justify your actions at this point. She needs you to simply listen to what she has to say. When shes finished, acknowledge her feelings and work with her to resolve the issue. Its not about winning or losing or whos right or wrong; its about the two of you understanding and respecting each other and working together to move the relations.h.i.+p forward.

Talk To Her Talk to her and not at hertheres a difference.

Its not always what you say, but how you say it and the tone you choose to use that often turn a simple discussion into an argument. When you talk to her, you are considerate of her feelings and her opinions. When you talk at her, you are disregarding both, and she can feel it.

My thoughts are you should never make demands. Instead, you should make requests or suggestions. Always consider getting her input on important decisions related to the relations.h.i.+p and even things that relate only to you. Show her that her opinion matters. Remember, your tone and how you say it will have a huge impact on how she takes it. In other words, a pleasant tone will get you a pleasant response. A negative or aggressive tone will usually get you a negative response.

Stop Asking!

For those of you who find it necessary to ask a woman how many men shes been with before you: stop asking!

For one, what does it really matter? What if she says, 2 or 10 or 20? Should what she has done in the past have any impact on how you feel about her today? If it does, maybe she would be better off finding someone whos more interested in who she is today rather than wasting her time on a man whos more concerned with who she was five years ago. Besides, to be honest, its a question that most of us expect women to answer honestly, but if we were asked the same, we would have a difficult time giving her an honest answer.

In the end, its the past! If you love her, accept all of her, including all the past life experiences that have contributed to making her the woman she is today: both the good and the bad.

Be Honest About Your Intentions A woman needs a man to be honest and upfront with her, from the beginning, about his intentions. Dont let months, or even years go by before you finally get the courage to tell her youre not ready to commit.

Dont take away her ability to decide whats best for her by lying about your true intentions. Just be honest. Some women are open to different types of relations.h.i.+ps, whether it involves a commitment or not. All Im saying is be upfront and honest with her. She has a right to choose whats best for her.

The Old You If a woman ever says, I miss the old you, that is a warning to let you know that youve changed and not in a good way.

Sometimes we as men dont pay enough attention to the warning signs until its too late. Comments like, you used to do that for me all the time, how come you dont do it anymore or I really miss when we used to should be a red flag. These, among others, are not just empty comments; these comments say that she is beginning to look to the past portion of the relations.h.i.+p for her happiness, instead of the present.

My thoughtspay attention to these comments and try to reincorporate whatever it is shes asking for into your current plans. If for no other reason, do it because it makes her happy.

Boredom There are a lot of reasons why a woman could lose interest in a man BOREDOM is one of them.

When a woman says she wants consistency, she doesnt mean she wants you to do the same thing over and over. For her, love is a new and exciting experience. She wants you to be consistent but creative. She wants you to bring stability, while at the same time being able to be spontaneous and willing to try new and exciting things with her.

Ive heard many women say they look forward to spending every moment they can with the man they love. Thats because they understand that those moments, if spent with the right man, have the potential of later becoming great memories.

So, for the men reading this, dont be afraid to try something different: surprise her. It doesnt have to be something big. In fact, the best memories are often made from the smaller things. Whatever you do, be consistent with your love and creative in how you show it.

Check Your Ego Dont lose her because you allow your ego to become bigger than your heart.

Winning isnt everything, especially when youre in a relations.h.i.+p and the loser is going to be the woman you love. Dont let your ego cause you to push an issue with her that, in the end, gains you nothing but a boost to your ego. As a result, youve damaged your relations.h.i.+p with her. I have a saying I go by and it states simply this, When in a relations.h.i.+p, never let your ego write a check that only a single man can cash.

To Hear The Truth From You Everyone makes mistakes. She knows youre not perfect, and she doesnt expect you to be. But when it comes to the truth, she would much rather hear it from you than to be blindsided and hear it from someone else.

When She Talks To You When she shares with you her problems, its not that shes complaining; she simply trusts you enough to talk to you about them.

For her to open up to you and share with you both the good and bad, is one of the greatest compliments she could give to you. It says that she trusts you and respects your opinion. Even more, it says that she feels comfortable talking to you and that theres no one else she would rather share her feelings with than you.

Spend Time, Not Money Making a good woman feel secure in the relations.h.i.+p has nothing to do with how much money you spend ON HER, but rather how much quality time you are willing to spend WITH HER.

A good woman is not interested in your Money or your status. What she wants from you is your time, loyalty, love, commitment and for you to treat her like nothing else in the world matters.

Overreacting There is no such thing as her overreacting. The reaction is a direct reflection of how she felt at that very moment.

For you to say to her, you are overreacting or youre being too emotional is to totally disregard her emotional state at that moment. The reality is that she is most likely responding to something that has been building up inside, for some time, and whatever just occurred was her breaking point. Instead of criticizing or disregarding her feelings, you should acknowledge them. Sit down and talk with her so that together, you two can resolve the underlying issue. If you dont, the issue will not go awayit will only get worse.

Just Because She Smiles Just because she smiles, doesnt mean shes happy. To understand how she really feels, you have to let her talk and you have to be willing to listen.

Time Vs. Quality Time When she says spend time with her, she is actually saying she wants you to spend quality time with her. She doesnt always say quality because she figures that should go without saying.

Spending time means more to her than simply you two being in the same house or room at the same time; it means engaging her on a physical, mental, and emotional plane as well. Sometimes, we think just because we share the same physical s.p.a.ce, we are spending time when in fact, if you are in the same room with her and not engaging her on some level, youre wasting time.

True Value Of Love True value is found in the love of a good woman, not material things. The most valuable thing that you, as a man, could ever have is not your watch, car or your house, its the real love of the good woman sitting there right next to you. The one who would still love you and be on your side, even if you lost all those material things tomorrow.

A good womans love is always loyal. When was the last time money was loyal to you?

When She Says, Im Okay When she says, Im okay it doesnt necessarily mean that shes okay. You have to really get to know her to understand her and know the difference.

You have to learn to speak her language. You have to learn to sometimes bypa.s.s her words and feel the vibe shes giving you. That is what will tell you whether or not things are truly okay or not. If they are, great; but if theyre not, talk to her. Dont let too much time pa.s.s without finding out whats on her mind. If you do, things may just get worse.

Shes Not Stupid Shes not stupid! Dont try to play her like she is. Youre insulting her intelligence. If youre not careful, youll one day find yourself on the outside wis.h.i.+ng you could get back in.

If You Are Cheating She Knows If youre cheating and you think she doesnt knowshe knows. She may not have enough evidence to prove it right now, but deep down inside, she knows; Her intuition is foolproof. Its only a matter of time now.

CHAPTER.

Nineteen.

SHE HAS.

HER.

LIMITS.

A good womans love is powerful. Some of you have a good woman and will never experience the true power of her love because your inconsistencies prevent her from being able to fully love you the way she wants to.

Shes Willing To Fight For You A good woman is willing to fight long and hard for the man she loves and believes in; but just because shes willing to fight for you, doesnt mean she wont leave you, if you take her loyalty for granted.

When You Change When a good woman leaves, its usually not because of another man; but rather because youve changed and the man youve become, is no longer the same as the one she fell in love with.

Inconsistent Love If your love isnt consistent, She will perceive it to be non-existent.

She Would Rather Let Go She would rather let go of you altogether than to try and hold on to bits and pieces of a relations.h.i.+p that youre no longer committed to.

She Cant Talk To You One of the biggest mistakes you could make is to cause the woman you love to feel like she cant talk to you.

Once she feels like she cant communicate with you, she becomes frustrated. That frustration will slowly turn into anger and resentment. The little things then become the big things. Before you know it, youre arguing over something that, to you, seems small; but to her, its not the one thing, its the combination of all the things she feels like she cant talk to you about.

My thoughtstake the time to, not only listen to her, but encourage her to talk to you about everything. You dont always have to agree with her, but you should always be willing to listen to her.

In the end, thats one of your responsibilities as her man; if she cant talk to you, then who?

You Cant Be Mad You cant be mad at her for leaving when you are the one who pushed her away. What was she supposed to do? No matter how strong she is, theres only so much she can take before she finally says, Enough!

A good woman doesnt leave the man she loves for another man; she leaves because she is unhappy, and she feels as if leaving is the only option she has left.

Shes tired of trying to talk about things with a man who refuses to listen. Shes tired of being ignored and treated like her feelings dont matter. Shes tired of feeling like the only time she can get any affection, from the man she loves, is during s.e.xshes tired. All she wants is for you to love her and treat her like she matters.

If you really and truly love her, dont push her away. All I ask is that you put your pride aside, for a moment, and just think about it.

Hard For Her To Walk Away Its never easy.

Its never easy for a good woman to walk away; especially after shes invested so much of herself into making it work. Just know, that by the time she finally decides to leave, shes given you countless chances and debated the idea, over and over in her head, at least 1000 times. Shes exhausted; shes frustrated and totally heartbroken to have to walk away from a man who, deep down inside, she still loves and is still willing to fight for.

Often she will leave the door slightly open, for a short period, in hopes that you will come around, but if you wait too longsh.e.l.l be gone forever.

NOTES:.

List 5 things that you think were contributing factors to your past relations.h.i.+ps not working out.