Real Life In London Part 87

Animadverting on the utility of this work combining the taste of elegance with the advantage of permanent wear, the two friends, Tom and Bob, recollected having seen, in their rambles through the metropolis, many specimens of the perfection of this ingenious art, particularly at Carlton-House, the Pelican Office, Lombard-street, and almost all the public halls. The statues of the four ~~229~~~quarters of the world, and others at the Bank, at the Admiralty, Trinity House, Tower-hill, Somerset-place, the Theatres; and almost every street presents objects, (some of 20 years standing,) as perfect as when put up.

Retracing their steps homewards, our pedestrians again crossed the Park, and finding themselves once more in Spring Gardens, entered the Exhibition Rooms of the Society of Painters in Water Colours.

This, beyond any other gratification of the morning, pleased the party the most. The vivid tints of the various well-executed landscapes had a pleasing effect, and wore more the appearance of nature than any similar display of the fascinating art which they had hitherto witnessed.

This Society, which was formed in 1804, for the purpose of giving due emphasis to an interesting branch of art that was lost in the blaze of Somerset-House, where water-colours, however beautiful, harmonized so badly with paintings in oil, has, in its late exhibitions, deviated from its original and legitimate object, and has mixed with its own exquisite productions various pictures in oil.

The last annual exhibition of painting in oil and water colours, was as brilliant and interesting as any former one, and afforded unmixed pleasure to every visitor.

One more attraction remained in Spring Gardens, which Tom, who had all the morning very ably performed the double duty of conductor and explainer, proposed the company's visiting;--"That is," said he, "Wigley's Promenade Rooms, where are constantly on exhibition various objects of curiosity."

Thither then they repaired, and were much pleased with two very extraordinary productions of ingenuity, the first Mr. Theodon's grand Mechanical and Picturesque Theatre, ill.u.s.trative of the effect of art in imitation of nature, in views of the Island of St. Helena, the City of Paris, the pa.s.sage of Mount St. Barnard, Chinese artificial fireworks, and a storm at sea. The whole was conducted on the principle of perspective animation, in a manner highly picturesque, natural, and interesting.

Here also our party examined the original model of a newly invented travelling automaton, a machine which can, with ease and accuracy, travel at the rate of six miles an hour, ascend acclivities, and turn the narrowest corners, by machinery only, conducted by one of the persons seated within, without the a.s.sistance of either horse or steam.

~~230~~~ This extraordinary piece of mechanism attracted the particular attention of the Baronet, who minutely explored its principles, with the view, as he said, of its introduction to general use, in the province of Munster, in subst.i.tution of ricketty jaunting-cars and stumbling geldings. Miss Judith Macgilligan likewise condescended to honour this novel carriage with her approbation, as an economical improvement, embracing, with its obvious utility, a vast saving in the keep of horses, and superseding the use of jaunting-cars, the universal succedaneum, in Ireland, for more respectable vehicles; but which, she added, no lady of ill.u.s.trious ancestry should resort to.

This endless recurrence to n.o.ble descent elicited from Sir Felix another "palpable hit;" who observed, that those fastidious dames of antiquity, to whatever country belonging, of apparent asperity to the present times, would do well in laying aside unfounded prejudices; that the age to which Miss Macgilligan so frequently alluded, was one of the most ignorant barbarism; and the unpolished females of that day unequal to a comparison with those of the present, as much so, as the savage squaws of America with the finished beauties of an Irish Vicegerent's drawing-room.{1}

1 The pride of ancestry, although prevalent in Ireland, is not carried to the preposterous excess exemplified by Cambrian vanity and egotism. A gentleman lately visited a friend in Wales, who, among other objects of curiosity, gratified his guest with the inspection of his family genealogical tree, which, setting at naught the minor consideration of antediluvian research, bore in its centre this notable inscription,--About this time the world was created!!!

Re-entering St. James's Park, our party directed their course towards the Mall, eastward of which they were agreeably amused by the appearance of groupes of children, who, under the care of attendant nursery maids, were regaling themselves with milk from the cow, thus presenting to these delighted juveniles a rural feast in the heart of the metropolis.

~~231~~~ Here Dashall drew the attention of his friends to a very important improvement. "Until within these few months," said he, "the Park at night-fall presented a very sombre aspect; being so imperfectly lighted as to encourage the resort of the most depraved characters of both s.e.xes; and although, in several instances, a general caption, by direction of the police, was made of these nocturnal visitants, yet the evil still remained; when a brilliant remedy at last was found, by entirely irradiating the darkness. .h.i.therto so favourable to the career of licentiousness: these lamps, each at a short distance from the other, have been lately introduced; stretching along the Mall, and circ.u.mscribing the Park, they shed a noon-tide splendor on the solitude of midnight. They are lighted with gas, and continue burning from sunset to day-break, combining ornament with utility. Thus vice has been banished from her wonted haunts, and the Park has become a respectable evening promenade.

"This Park," continued the communicative Dashall, "which is nearly two miles in circuit, was enclosed by King Charles II., who planted the avenues, made the Ca.n.a.l and the Aviary adjacent to the Bird-cage Walk, which took its name from the cages hung in the trees; but the present fine effect of the piece of ground within the railing, is the fruit of the genius of the celebrated Mr. Brown."{1}

1 St. James's Park was the frequent promenade of King Charles II. Here he was to be seen almost daily; unattended, except by one or two of his courtiers, and his favorite grey-hounds; inter-mixing with his subjects, in perfect confidence of their loyalty and attachment. His brother James one day remonstrating with him on the impolicy of thus exposing his person,--"James," rejoined his majesty, "take care of yourself, and be under no apprehension for me: my people will never kill me, to make you king!"

In more recent times, Mr. Charles Townsend used every morning, as he came to the Treasury, to pa.s.s by the Ca.n.a.l in the Park, and feed the ducks with bread or corn, which he brought in his pocket for that purpose. One morning having called his affectionate friends, the duckey, duckey, duckies, he found unfortunately that he had forgotten them;-- "Poor duckies!" he cried, "I am sorry I am in a hurry and cannot get you some bread, but here is sixpence for you to buy some," and threw the ducks a sixpence, which one of them gobbled up. At the office he very wisely told the story to some gentlemen with whom he was to dine. There being ducks for dinner, one of the gentlemen ordered a sixpence to be put into the body of a duck, which he gave Charles to cut up. Our hero, sur-prised at finding a sixpence among the seasoning, bade the waiter send up his master, whom he loaded with epithets of rascal and scoundrel, and swore bitterly that he would have him prosecuted for robbing the king of his ducks; "for," said he, "gentlemen, this very morning did I give this sixpence to one of the ducks in the Ca.n.a.l in St. James's Park."

~~232~~~ The party now seated themselves on one of the benches in the Mall, opposite the spot where lately stood the Chinese or PaG.o.da bridge.

Tallyho had often animadverted on the absurdity of the late inconvenient and heterogeneous wooden structure, which had been erected at a considerable public expense; its dangling non-descript ornaments, and tiresome acclivity and descent of forty steps each. "What," said he, "notwithstanding the protection by centinels of this precious memento of vitiated taste, has it become the prey of dilapidation?"

"Rather," answered Dashall, "of premature decay. Its crazy condition induced the sage authors of its origin to hasten its destruction; like the Cherokee chief, who, when the object of his regard becomes no longer useful, buries him alive!"

Contrasting the magnificent appearance of the adjacent edifices, as seen from the Park, with one of apparently very humble pretensions, Miss Macgilligan inquired to what purpose the "shabby fabric" was applied, and by whom occupied.

"That 'shabby fabric,' Madam," responded Dashall, "is St. James's Palace, erected by Henry VIII., in which our sovereigns of England have held their Courts from the reign of Queen Anne to that of his late Majesty George III." {1}

1 The state apartments, now renovated, comprehend six chambers. The first is the guard chamber, at the top of the stairs: this has been entirely repaired, and on the right hand there is a characteristic chimney-piece, instead of the ill-shaped clumsy fire-place which previously disgraced this approach to the grand rooms. The next room, continuing to advance, is the presence chamber. This chamber has been remodelled, and a large handsome octagonal window introduced. This produces the best effect, and has rendered a gloomy room very light and cheerful. The privy chamber, which forms the eastern end of the great suite that runs from east to west, parallel to the Mall in the Park, and is, strictly speaking, the immediate scene of the Court; this is entirely new from the foundation, and is a continuation of the old suite of state apartments. The chamber is of n.o.ble dimensions, being nearly 70 feet in length, and having four windows towards the garden and Park beyond. A magnificent marble chimney-piece occupies the centre, on the east end.

The anti-drawing-room and the drawing-room, in which little alteration appears, except in the introduction of splendid chimney-pieces of statuary marble, taken from the library of Queen Caroline in the Stable Yard, built by Kent. The workmans.h.i.+p of these is amazingly fine, and the designs very rich. The throne is at the upper end of the drawing room No.

5, and from the chimney of the room No. 3, the vista through the middle doors of the anti-drawing-rooms is about 200 feet!! The_coup d'oeil_ must be indescribably grand, when all the three apartments are filled with rank and beauty.

The ceilings of the princ.i.p.al rooms, 3, 4, and 5, are coved upon handsome cornices, carved and gilt. This gives the apartments a s.p.a.cious and lofty appearance; and there being four large windows in each, the whole suite is very imposing. The rooms are to be fitted with mirrors, and a n.o.ble collection of the royal pictures. Over the chimney in the drawing-room, Lawrence's splendid portrait of George IV., surrounded by the fine old carvings of Grinling Gibbons, of which many are preserved in the Palace, will be the princ.i.p.al object. In the anti-drawing-room a portrait of the venerable George III. will occupy a similar station; and on each side will appear the victories which reflected the highest l.u.s.tre on his reign,--Trafalgar and Waterloo. In the privy chamber, a portrait of Queen Anne will be attended by the great Marlborough triumphs of Lisle and Tournay, Blenheim, and other historical pieces. Other s.p.a.ces will exhibit a series of royal portraits, from the period of the founder of the Palace, Henry VIII. to the present era; including, of course, some of the most celebrated works of Holbein and Vand.y.k.e. The unrivalled "Charles on horseback," by the latter, is among the number, and the gallery, altogether, must be inestimable, even as a panorama of the arts in England for three centuries. On the whole, these state apartments, when completed, will not be excelled, if equalled, by any others in Europe. Holbein, whom we have just mentioned, was a favourite of Henry VIII.

One day, when the painter was privately drawing a lady's picture for the king, a n.o.bleman forced himself into the chamber. Holbein threw him down stairs; the peer cried out; Holbein bolted himself in, escaped over the roof of the house, and running directly to the king, fell on his knees, and besought his majesty to pardon him, without declaring the offence. The king promised to forgive him, if he would tell the truth. Immediately arrives the lord with his complaint. After hearing the whole, his majesty said to the n.o.bleman,--" You have behaved in a manner unworthy of your rank. I tell you, of seven peasants I can make so many lords, but not one Holbein. Be gone, and remember this, if you ever presume to avenge yourself, I shall look on an injury you do to the painter as done to me."

~~233~~~ The descendant of O'Brien was astonished, and connecting her ideas of the internal show of this Palace with its outward appearance, doubted not, secretly, that it was far inferior to the residence, in former times, of her royal progenitor.

Probably guessing her thoughts, Dashall proceeded to observe, that the Palace was venerable from age, and in its interior decoration that it fully corresponded in splendor with the regal purposes to which it had been so long applied; "It is now, however," he added, "about to a.s.sume a still more imposing aspect, being under alterations and adornments, for the reception of the Court of his present Majesty, which, when completed, will render it worthy the presence of the Sovereign of this great Empire."

~~234~~~ The sole use made lately of St. James's Palace, is for purposes of state. In 1808, the south-eastern wing of the building was destroyed by fire; the state apartments were, however, uninjured, and the Court of George the Third and his Queen was held here.

On the right of the Palace, the attention of the party was next attracted by Marlborough House. It was built in the reign of Queen Anne, by the public, at the expense of 40,000L. on part of the royal gardens, and given by the Queen and Parliament, on a long lease, to the great Duke of Marlborough. It is a handsome building, much improved of late years, and has a garden extending to the Park, and forms a striking contrast to the adjoining Palace of St. James's. It is now the town residence of his Royal Highness, Prince Leopold of Saxe Cobourg.

Our party now pa.s.sed into St. James's-street, where Miss Macgilligan, whose acerbitude of temper had been much softened by the politeness of her friends during the morning's ramble, mentioned, that she had a visit to make on an occasion of etiquette, and requesting the honour of the gentlemen's company to dinner, she was handed by the Squire of Belville-hall, with all due gallantry and obeisance, into a hackney-chariot; Tom in the meanwhile noting its number, in the antic.i.p.ation of its ultimately proving a requisite precaution.

The trio, now left to their own pursuits, lounged leisurely up St.

James's-street, and pausing at the caricature shop, an incident occurred which placed in a very favorable point of view the Baronet's prompt.i.tude of reply and equanimity of temper. Having had recourse to his gla.s.ses, lie stood on the pavement, examining the prints, un.o.bservant of any other object; when a porter with a load brushed hastily forward, and coming in contact with the Baronet, put him, involuntarily, by the violence of the shock, to the left about face, without the word either of caution or command. "d.a.m.n your spectacles!" at same time, exclaimed the fellow; "Thank you, my good friend," rejoined Sir Felix,--"it is not the first time that my spectacles have saved my eyes!"

~~235~~~ Remarking on this rencounter, Dashall observed, that the insolence of these fellows was become really a public nuisance. Armed in the panoply of arrogance, they a.s.sume the right of the footway, to the ejection, danger, and frequent injury of other pa.s.sengers; moving in a direct line with loads that sometimes stretch on either side the width of the pavement, they dash onward, careless whom they may run against, or what mischief may ensue. "I would not," continued Dashall, "cla.s.s them with beasts of burthen, and confine them to the carriage-way of the street, like other brutes of that description; but I would have them placed under the control of some salutary regulations, and humanized under the dread of punishment."

The Squire coincided with his friend in opinion, and added, by way of ill.u.s.tration, that it was only a few days since he witnessed a serious accident occasioned by the scandalous conduct of a porter: the fellow bore on his shoulders a chest of drawers, a corner of which, while he forced his way along the pavement, struck a young lady a stunning blow on the head, bringing her violently to the ground, and falling against a shop window, one of her hands went through a pane of gla.s.s, by which she was severely cut; thus sustaining a double injury, either of which might have been attended with fatal consequences.

The three friends had now gained the fas.h.i.+onable lounge of Bond-street, whence turning into Conduit-street, they entered Limmer's Coffee-house, for the purpose of closing, by refreshment, the morning's excursion.

Here Dashall recognized an old acquaintance in the person of an eminent physician, who, after an interchange of civilities, resumed his attention to the daily journals.

In the same box with this gentleman, and directly opposite, sat another, whose health was apparently on the decline, who finding that the ingenious physician had occasionally dropped into this coffee-house, had placed himself _vis-a-vis_ the doctor, and made many indirect efforts to withdraw his attention from the newspaper to examine the index of his (the invalid's) const.i.tution. He at last ventured a bold push at once, in the following terms: "Doctor," said he, "I have for a long time been very far from being well, and as I belong to an office, where I am obliged to attend everyday, the complaints I have prove very troublesome to me, ~~236~~~ and I would be glad to remove them."--The doctor laid down his paper, and regarded his patient with a steady eye, while he proceeded. "I have but little appet.i.te, and digest what I eat very poorly; I have a strange swimming in my head," &c. In short, after giving the doctor a full quarter of an hour's detail of all his symptoms, he concluded the state of his case with a direct question:--"Pray, doctor, what shall I take?" The doctor, in the act of resuming the newspaper, gave him the following laconic prescription:--"Take, why, take advice!"

This colloquy, and its ludicrous result, having been perfectly audible to the company present, afforded considerable entertainment, of which the manoeuvring invalid seemed in no degree willing to partake, for he presently made his exit, without even thanking the doctor for his gratuitous advice.{1}

1 Limmeb's Hotel.--This justly esteemed Hotel was much frequented by the late unfortunate Lord Camelford. Entering the coffee-room one evening, meanly attired, as he often was, he sat down to peruse the papers of the day. Soon after came in a "das.h.i.+ng fellow," a "first-rate blood," who threw himself into the opposite seat of the same box with Lord C, and in a most consequential tone hallowed out, "Waiter!

bring in a pint of Madeira, and a couple of wax candles, and put them in the next box." He then drew to him Lord C.'s candle, and set himself to read. His Lords.h.i.+p glanced at him a look of indignation, but exerting his optics a little more, continued to decypher his paper. The waiter soon re- appeared, and with a mult.i.tude of obsequious bows, announced his having completed the commands of the gentleman, who immediately lounged round into his box. Lord Camelford having finished his paragraph, called out in a mimic tone to that of Mr.-----, "Waiter! bring me a pair of snuffers."

These were quickly brought, when his Lords.h.i.+p laid down his paper, walked round to the box in which Mr.-----was, snuffed out both the candles, and leisurely returned to his seat.

Boiling with rage and fury, the indignant beau roared out, "Waiter! waiter! waiter! who the devil is this fellow, that dares thus to insult a gentleman? Who is he? What is he?

What do they call him?"--"Lord Camelford, Sir," said the waiter.--"Who? Lord Camelford!" returned the former, in a tone of voice scarcely audible; horror-struck at the recollection of his own impertinence, and almost doubting whether he was still in existence--"Lord Camelford!!! What have I to pay?" On being told, he laid down his score, and actually stole away, without daring to taste his Madeira.

~~237~~~ The repast ended, the friends separated; Sir Felix to rejoin his august relative at their lodgings, and arrange with her preparations for the entertainment of Tom and Bob, and these two gentlemen also returning homewards to dress for the important occasion.

Pa.s.sing the house of his tailor, the Baronet stept in, and desired Mr.

Snip to send to his lodgings, any time in the course of the evening, for the last new suit, for the purpose of alteration, as had been already pointed out.

Miss Macgilligan had preceded her nephew in reaching home, and gave him, on his arrival, an appropriate and edifying lecture on a three-fold subject, embracing--petulancy,--respect to superiors,--and veneration for the memory of our ancestors.

The Baronet, who never designed seriously to insult his aunt, but merely to have a bye-blow at her prominent foible,--pride of descent,--listened with becoming deference to her dissertation, which was interrupted by the entrance of his servant, (the same who on a certain occasion confided to Mother c.u.mmings the safety of his master's property,{1})--"The tailor's boy, Sir Felix, for the new suit your Honor ordered to be altered."--"Very well," rejoined Sir Felix, "sure enough Mr. Snip is prompt in observance of instructions,--let the lad have the suit immediately."--This business having been despatched, Miss Macgilligan was about to resume her admonitory discourse; when, luckily, the arrival of the expected guests prevented its continuance, and it was consequently postponed until a more favourable opportunity.

1 Vide page 130.

Dinner was shortly announced, during which nothing occurred of particular import. When the exhilirating "Tuscan grape" had superseded the discarded viands, Miss Macgilligan mentioned, that she had been grossly imposed upon by the driver of the hackney-chariot. It seems, that conceiving Jehu was exacting more than his fare, the lady, presenting a handful of silver, told him to take it all, if he thought proper, and the conscientious knight of the whip had actually embraced the offer in its literal acceptation, and pocketing the money, made the best of his way, before she recovered from the surprise occasioned by this "iniquitous" transaction.

~~238~~~ "Iniquitous!" repeated the Baronet;--"by the powers of folly but there was no advantage taken at all, at all; and the man must have been worse than an idiot had he rejected so liberal an offer!

Gra-machree, he might cry, and thanks to the donor, such opportunities don't occur every day."

Appealing to her guests, she had the mortification of finding the opinion of her nephew supported.--"Certainly, madam," said Dashall, "the conduct of the man in putting a construction not meant upon your word, was highly reprehensible; yet I am afraid that redress is unavailable.

A gift was implied, though obviously not intended, but impartially speaking, you tendered a donation, and the man, if not morally right, was legally justifiable in accepting it."

While this case was under discussion, the baronet chuckled at the mischance of his aunt, and in defiance of the admonition given him a few hours before, seemed more petulant, less respectful, and totally irreverent of his ancestors.