Most Wanted - Case Of The Mesmerizing Boss Part 19

But he withdrew, because she pushed him away. Nothing had ever hurt quite so much.

Weeks turned to months. Dane and Tess lived like polite strang- ers. He'd long since moved her into another bedroom, with the ex- cuse that he was disturbing her sleep with his late hours. It wasn't true. Her silence, her depression was disturbing him. She looked at him with an expression he couldn't fathom, as if she were hurting and hiding it. He felt guilty every time he saw her and he didn't know why. Being near her and unable to touch her, to hold her, was killing him. He sat and stared at her when she wasn't looking, like a lovesick boy. His work suffered because he couldn't keep his mind off her. She grew bigger and paler, and one day, after she'd been to see her obstetrician, she took to her bed and stayed there. That disturbed him, and he said something about it.

"Are you all right?" he asked her that evening, his eyes con- cerned.

"Of course," she replied, her face schooled to disguise her terror.

She'd had a lot of bleeding and Dr. Boswick was worried. He didn't say so, but his expression hadn't been rea.s.suring. She was scared and she wanted to tell Dane, but it was far too late for that. "I'm just tired. There's so much of me to carry around," she added im- potently.

"I told you before," he said quietly, "that I don't want you lying around the house. You have to get enough exercise. I'm sure the obstetrician's told you that."

She felt near panic. It was fall now and good walking weather, but she didn't dare! Dane was still irritable since she'd refused to go to natural childbirth cla.s.ses with him. She was too afraid of the trips to and from the hospital where they were given, because what Dr. Boswick had told her about the final trimester unnerved her. He 143 had said the method might help, but he hadn't pressured her to attend the cla.s.ses. He knew how afraid she was.

Her visits to the obstetrician had been very close together lately, and fortunately, Dane didn't know why. She'd managed to keep her secret, despite his cold indifference to her feelings. She'd protected him from the fear. She knew all too well how much a child would mean to him. She wanted him to have his son-Dr. Boswick had told her that it would be a boy.

She looked up at Dane from her reclining position on the bed, propped up by pillows because she was so big now, in her eighth month.

"I'll go walking tomorrow," she promised. "It's so hard these days. I'm heavier than I've ever been."

His dark eyes narrowed on her wan, pinched face. He felt guilty all over again, just looking at her. "Why is it that I never see you walk?" he asked. "You always arrange to do it when no one is here except you."

She colored and averted his eyes.

"I know you're heavy. But, Tess, laziness is no excuse," he said quietly. "This is for your own good. Tomorrow, you walk. I'll make sure of it."

"No," she replied wearily, tired of the deception. "No, I can't do that." She took a deep breath. "Dane, there's something I haven't told you, something you need to know.... Oh!" She gasped at the wrenching pain that caught her unaware and lifted her straight up on the bed. She cried out piteously.

"The baby!" he exclaimed harshly. "Tess, is it the baby?"

"Yes...!" She wept because the sudden contractions were so fierce. Even as she felt them, she felt a terrifying gush of wet warmth beneath her and her face went stark white. "You have...to get...an ambulance! Call Dr. Boswick...!"

"It may be false labor. You're a month early. I'll take you in the car," he began tersely, and threw back the covers.

He froze. Every drop of color ran out of his face, every sign of life. His black eyes glittered like diamond fragments. "Oh, my G.o.d!" he exploded.

"Call...an ambulance!" she cried.

144Diana Palmer He grabbed up the telephone by the bed, galvanized into action.

Beryl came running while he was talking to the hospital and, seeing the situation for herself, went running to get towels.

a.s.sured that an ambulance was already in their end of the county and could be there in five minutes, he dialed Dr. Boswick.

"I think there's something wrong. She's in pain and bleeding badly," Dane said, his voice cold but unsteady. "The ambulance is on the way."

"The placenta has detached," came the terse reply. "When I examined her today, I warned her that it could happen any time.

The baby is near enough to term that it has a chance, but we could still lose both of them," he said, and Dane's heart stopped. "She hasn't been exercising today?"

Dane's fingers shook on the receiver. "No."

"Thank G.o.d for that. I'm sure she's told you how dangerous her condition is, so that you wouldn't allow her to exert unnecessarily.

I'll be at the emergency room when they bring her in, and we'll gear up for a transfusion." He told Dane what to do, to help contain the bleeding. "Tell those paramedics that every second counts."

Dane hung up, tossing orders to Beryl. He looked down at Tess with anguished realization.

"Something went wrong a long time ago, didn't it? It's been there all along. It wasn't morning sickness that kept you home at all," he ground out, his voice tormented.

Her lips were white as she compressed them, trying not to scream from the pain. "You wanted...the baby...so much," she panted. "I only wanted...to spare you," she whispered weakly. "Not...your fault!"

"So you took the risk and the worry all alone, and I gave you h.e.l.l.... Oh, G.o.d, Tess...!" His voice broke. He touched her face with unsteady fingers, as she arched and cried out again from the force of the pain.

"Where the h.e.l.l is that ambulance?" he cursed.

A faint sound of sirens was barely audible as Tess caught her breath. "Hold on, little one," he said huskily, motioning for Beryl to stay with her. He went out of the room as the sirens approached, so shaken that he could hardly speak at all.

145 Tess was barely conscious on the long drive to the hospital. Dane sat beside her in a terrified posture while the ambulance attendants kept watch on her and did what they could to stem the profuse bleeding. Dr. Boswick was waiting when they wheeled her into Branntville General.

"She comes first," Dane told the doctor, white-faced. "No matter what, she comes first, do you understand?"

"We'll do everything we can," Boswick a.s.sured him. They rushed her to the operating room and, minutes later, took the baby.

She was drifting through layers of pain and drug-induced drows- iness when she heard a voice at her ear.

"It's a boy," Dane whispered. "Can you hear me, sweetheart?

We have a little boy."

She barely made sense of the words. "John Richard," she whis- pered with difficulty.

It was the name they'd both chosen for a boy, on one of the rare evenings when he'd been home on time and they'd talked. He touched her mouth with his. "John Richard," he whispered. "How do you feel, darling?"

That couldn't be Dane calling her darling. She must be delirious.

"Hurts," she said weakly.

"They'll give you something else. The nurse is bringing a shot for you. He's so beautiful, Tess," he said unsteadily. "So beauti- ful."

Her eyes opened, glazed with pain. She looked up at him.

"Love...you," she managed. "Whatever happens...always remem- ber."

His eyes were wet. She couldn't see them clearly, but she heard the rough sound he made.

"You're going to be all right," he said harshly. "They said so.

Don't talk like that!"

Her eyelids were so heavy. She felt them close. "Take care of him," she said weakly. "You wanted him...so much."

"I want you!" He leaned close, his voice in her ear. "Listen to me, you silly child, I lied! I've been lying all along! I didn't think I could give you a child-that's why I didn't want to marry you! It was for your sake, not mine, that I let you go! Tess, it's you I want!

146Diana Palmer You! G.o.d in Heaven, I almost went out of my mind when Dr. Boswick told me about your condition after they took the baby. Open your eyes, Tess. Open your eyes!"

He sounded urgent, almost desperate. She forced her eyelids open again with an effort and tried to focus. His face was white. Stark white.

"Don't you die on me!" he said through his teeth. "Don't you dare! You're going to live and help me raise our baby. I'm not going to try and live without you again! I can't. Listen to me-I can't make it without you!"

"Only...the baby...you want," she managed.

"No."

Nothing he said was getting through the pain. "Yes. You said..."

He realized that she wasn't comprehending any of it. He had to make her listen, make her understand, while there was still time! "Look at me. Tess, look at me. Look at me!"

She swallowed, forcing her eyes toward his face.

"I love you." He said each word deliberately, forcefully. His eyes were blazing like black coals in his face. "I love you!"

That was nice. She tried to say so, but darkness fell on her like a wall. She closed her eyes, and the anguished sound of his voice slowly became indistinguishable. She slept.

Chapter Eleven.

Dane sat beside her all night without sleeping. He couldn't bring himself to leave her, not even to see the son he'd thought he'd never have.

Her face was pale and she cried out with the pain, even with the sedatives they were giving her. He watched her suffer, and suffered with her. It devastated him to know what she'd gone through in such silence, sparing him from the worry that had haunted her all these long months. He'd accused her of betraying him, when she was in fact protecting him. She'd loved him and he'd failed her at every turn, when he loved her more than his own life.

But she didn't know that. He'd said so many cruel things to her.

She might not be able to forgive him, but she had to stay alive. She had to!

Daylight was streaming in the windows and the hospital was bus- tling with activity when she finally came back to consciousness. She was weak and still in pain.

She opened her eyes. "Dane?" she whispered. "My baby...?"

He looked terrible, she thought dimly. His face was unshaven and starkly lined.

"Do you want the baby now?" he asked gently, bending over her. "They'll bring him whenever you like. Right now, if you want."

She swallowed. "I want to see him."

He pushed the buzzer and called the nurse, asking for John to be 148Diana Palmer brought in. The cheerful voice promised instant compliance. Sure enough, barely two minutes later, a nurse came into the room with a small bundle in her arms.

"Here he is, Mrs. La.s.siter," the nurse said cheerfully. "I'm glad to see you awake. You had us worried for a little while. Look what I've got."

She laid the bundle down beside Tess and pulled the blanket away from the baby's face.

Tess looked at him and saw Dane. She caught her breath. "He looks like my husband," she whispered. "Oh, he looks like you, Dane!"

He leaned over her, touching the baby's head gently. "He has your eyes," he disagreed. "Big and soft."

"I'll bring his bottle-" the nurse began.

"No," Tess protested. She looked up. "Please. I want to feed him myself. Dr. Boswick said-"

"All right." The nurse smiled. "We'll bring the bottle, too.

You're very weak. You lost a lot of blood, and you may not have enough milk yet to satisfy him."

The nurse went out and Tess fought pain to sit up against the pillows with the baby in her arms. "Help me, please," she whis- pered, tugging at the neck of the gown.

He found the ties and helped her ease the gown away. She brought the baby to her breast and gently nudged the nipple into his mouth.

He began to suckle at once, his tiny hand clenched against her breast.

She caught her breath at the pins-and-needles sensation, and then she laughed. She looked up at Dane, but he wasn't laughing. His face was rigid and ruddy with color as he watched. His jaw clenched.

"My G.o.d," he said unsteadily. "I didn't realize it would look like that." He moved closer, his eyes helplessly riveted to the baby.

He reached down and lightly touched the small head before he looked into Tess's eyes. "Does it hurt you?" he asked.

"No," she said. "It's uncomfortable just at first, that's all. My stomach feels awful," she grimaced. "The st.i.tches pull and it hurts."

"They can give you something else when you're finished with John Richard."

149 "You aren't at work," she said, frowning.

"I couldn't leave you, honey," he replied quietly. "You scared me."

"Scared you?"

He hesitated for a long moment before he spoke. "You sounded as if you meant to go away," he said. His hand touched her mouth.

"I was afraid you didn't want to live."

"I don't remember."

"It could have been the drugs, but I couldn't take a chance." He bent and kissed her gently. "You mean the world to me," he said huskily. "I can't lose you now."

She didn't trust her ears, or her mind. She only smiled, certain that it was the first flush of new fatherhood talking. Whatever he felt, he wanted John, and since there was no other woman in his life, presumably he'd decided that they might as well stay married.