Most Wanted - Case Of The Mesmerizing Boss Part 20

She'd take a chance on him, she decided. After all, he might learn to love her one day.

A week later, she and John were released from the hospital. Helen and Kit came to see the baby, raving over him while Tess smiled indulgently.

Dane was always somewhere nearby, although he went back to work with a vengeance. Tess was aware of his irritation that she wouldn't listen to him when he tried to talk to her. She couldn't help it. She didn't want him making confessions of love. He'd been upset about her condition once he found out about it, and the labor had been a nightmare. Now he was feeling elated with his new son and relieved that Tess was out of danger. He was happy. But Tess didn't want any false promises. She wanted him cold sober and completely over the experience of her pregnancy before they talked again.

Meanwhile, she had her son to take care of. It was six weeks before she could get around enough to feel like her old self. She doted on the baby, adored him, cosseted him, spent every free sec- ond with him. The baby was her life.

He was Dane's, too, but as Tess lavished attention on the child, she denied it to him. He began to feel alone, unwanted, and his 150.

temper became hot and unpredictable. He loved his son, but he couldn't seem to make Tess notice that he needed her, too. She'd withdrawn into a world of her own, where her child was the only other occupant.

She was feeding John early one Sat.u.r.day afternoon when Dane came down the hall, his gloves clenched in one hand, his chaps making leathery sounds against his powerful legs as he walked. His battered gray Stetson was c.o.c.ked low over one eye. He wasn't work- ing today, so he'd been out with his men on the ranch. He looked out of sorts and viciously irritable.

Dane paused in the doorway, hesitating as he saw Tess in the rocking chair in their bedroom, nursing the baby.

"I have to talk to you," he said tersely.

"I'll be finished in a minute," she replied.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, his eyes calming as he watched their child nurse. Pride softened his expression, and he smiled. "I never get tired of watching that," he said quietly. "You look like something out of a dream with the boy at your breast."

She smiled shyly. "He's growing, have you noticed?"

"Tess, how long are you going to nurse him?"

The question startled her. She looked up, idly brus.h.i.+ng away a loosened strand of blond hair. She seemed so young in her green gingham dress, so vulnerable.

"I hadn't thought about it," she said. "Does it matter?"

He hesitated. "He's tied to you as long as you feed him," he said. "You can't be away from him for more than a couple of hours at a time."

Her face paled. Her eyes went huge in her face. "You want me to leave?" she asked huskily. "Is that why you want me to stop nursing him, so that you can get a nurse for him...?"

His breathing checked. "G.o.d in heaven, no!"

She s.h.i.+vered, her expression torn between relief and fear.

He closed his eyes and reopened them. He got up and went to the window, slapping his gloves into his palm as he stared angrily out at the autumn landscape.

"I guess I've given you plenty of reason to think I wanted the 151 baby and not you. But I'm not such a monster that I'd take your child away from you."

"I know that," she said, faintly shy of him. The baby finished pulling at her breast, his eyes drooping. She burped him and got up to put him in his baby bed against the wall, gently settling him on his side and covering him with a light blanket. She tiptoed out of the room, leaving Dane to follow.

"Don't run off again," he said tersely, glaring at her. "You've avoided me ever since you've been home."

"I want to sit on the porch," she said evasively.

"It's too cold."

"No, it isn't. I'll ask Beryl to watch out for John."

He gave in. "All right." He waited until she talked to Beryl, then he followed her out the back door and sat down beside her on the warm concrete stoop that overlooked the outbuildings.

She glanced at his batwing chaps. "You've been working."

"I bought some new horses," he said. "I've been watching the vet work on them."

He lit a cigarette and she stared out over the pasture.

"Tess, I've been trying to get you still long enough to apologize.

I said some harsh, cruel things before the baby came. Things that haunt me now."

"You didn't know about what was wrong with me," she said simply. "I only wanted to spare you. You didn't think you could even have a child, and you were so excited about him." She smiled wanly. "I didn't want to spoil it for you."

His eyes closed and he groaned. "And what about you, you little idiot? Worried to death, and all you got from me was a cold shoulder and accusations about being lazy. Lazy!" He jerked off his hat and tossed it aside, running a restless hand through his hair. "I can't bear to remember the way I treated you. I've given you nothing but heartache, Tess."

She searched his profile quietly, her eyes soft and loving. "That isn't quite true. You gave me John."

He glanced down at her. "I never thought of precautions," he said slowly. "Because I didn't think I needed to. If I'd known the risk...!"

752.

"But you didn't. Neither did I. But I would have taken the risk, even if I had known, Dane," she said with quiet conviction. "I'd do it all over again."

He searched her eyes slowly. "It wasn't just the baby I wanted,"

he said huskily. "It was you. I wanted you, needed you, so I...would have married you even if there hadn't been a child, because my world collapsed when you walked out of it. Sending you away was the single worst mistake of my life." His expression was vulnerable then, so loving that it knocked the breath out of her. "That night...

I never knew what love was until then. I was afraid of it, terrified that I was wrong and it wouldn't last. But it has. It will. G.o.d, Tess,"

he whispered, "I'll love you until I die."

She s.h.i.+fted a little away from him and averted her eyes to the horizon. She couldn't believe him. She didn't dare. "You don't have to pretend," she said gently. "It's all right. You love John, and maybe you're fond of me. That will be enough."

He crushed out the cigarette and stood up. He glared at her. "No, it will not. You want me to love you."

She flushed and averted her gaze to the distant horizon. "I know how hard relations.h.i.+ps are for you...."

He caught her gently by the shoulders and she stood up. "My mother warped my outlook. Jane savaged my pride. By the time you came along, I was an emotional basket case. I was afraid of you,"

he said. "Didn't you know?"

"I think part of me did." She lifted her eyes to his. "I tried to make you see that I'd never hurt you. But you wouldn't trust me."

"I couldn't." His hands slid down to clasp hers. "I told you that I didn't know how to love, how to be gentle." He leaned closer. "I had to learn those things. I learned them with you, Tess."

"You're proud of John," she whispered, glancing down, "and you felt responsible for the trouble I had. You don't have to say these things...."

He caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger and lifted her face, made her look at him. "I love you," he said. "How many ways, how many times, do I have to repeat it before you start be- lieving that I mean it?"

153 She winced. Her eyes narrowed worriedly. "It might be so many things besides love, Dane."

"It might. But it isn't. You know it, you little coward." He smiled as he bent his head and gently took her lips with his. "But maybe it's time I proved it."

He kissed her softly, teasing her mouth until she began to relax, her mouth answering his in the warm silence of the afternoon. He caught his breath and groaned when he felt her arms go around him, felt the soft trembling of her body as she gave in. His lips probed her open mouth, his tongue teasing and then thrusting, so that she moaned hoa.r.s.ely and tried to get closer to him.

His lean hand contracted at the base of her spine, rubbing her hungrily against his fierce arousal.

"I want you," he ground out. "Are you able?"

"Oh...yes," she whispered dazedly through swollen lips, her body already throbbing wildly from the contact.

He groaned. "Where the h.e.l.l can we go?" He lifted his head, looking so haunted that she almost smiled. "Beryl's upstairs with the baby."

She glanced toward the barn. He shook his head. "No," he said unsteadily. "It's far too unsanitary."

"They do it in books," she moaned.

"That is fantasy," he whispered. He nuzzled his face against her full b.r.e.a.s.t.s and then back up to her mouth. "And what I feel right now isn't a quick l.u.s.t that I need to satisfy. I love you. I want to make love with you, be a part of you."

"I want that, too," she said huskily.

He pulled her closer, kissing her again, his mouth slow and sen- suous, loving. "Tess," he breathed into her mouth, and he shud- dered. "Tess, I love you...!"

The back door suddenly opened, breaking them apart, and Beryl came out wearing a sweater. "John's sleeping soundly. Would you two mind if I ran down to see about Mrs. Jewell? I'll only be an hour or so...."

Tess could have hugged her. She probably knew that the two of them would have killed for some time alone together, even with a sleeping baby nearby. "You go right ahead," Tess said softly.

154.

'Thanks. Mrs. Jewell looks forward to our afternoons," Beryl a.s.sured her. She left, smiling secretly to herself.

They waited until the car pulled out of the driveway before Dane escorted her upstairs with undue haste and locked the bedroom door behind them.

He lifted her quickly and carried her to the bed, easing down onto it with her. "Don't be noisy or you'll wake the baby," he breathed into her mouth. "G.o.d bless Beryl..."

"The door..." She choked.

"It's locked. Tess, it's been so long!"

He kissed her with aching hunger for a long time until the fever burned too high to contain. He smiled sensually as he proceeded to remove every st.i.tch of fabric from his powerful body. Tess watched him unashamedly, her eyes wide and curious. He was beautifully made, she thought, scars and all. The most perfect man she could ever have imagined.

As she thought it, she said it, whispered it to him. He smiled as he eased back down beside her and removed her dress and under- things between soft kisses.

She was a little self-conscious about her own scar, but he kissed it gently and smiled. It was, he murmured, like a battle scar that she'd earned with exceptional courage. She relaxed then and smiled back, lifting her face for his kiss.

She couldn't have imagined the tenderness of his possession. It was slow and thorough and breathlessly gentle. In between kisses and erotic caresses, he told her that he loved her, that he needed her, that she was the most important thing in his life. The magic they'd shared in his apartment was still there, intensified. He touched her and she felt boneless, anguished with her need of him.

Her arms clung to his neck when he moved over her and hesitated.

"Wait," he whispered. He paused and removed something he'd stuffed under a pillow, taking time to put it in place. She stared at him shyly. "No more babies just yet, sweetheart," he whispered softly. "I won't let you take that risk again."

"I'm all right," she said unsteadily. "It was a rare thing, Dane, and it might never happen again."

"We'll talk about it another time. You're weak and vulnerable 155 right now. I have to take very good care of you, Mrs. La.s.siter," he whispered against her mouth. "I love you far too much to risk losing you twice." He moved over her, easing her body to accommodate him. Then he began to join his body to hers with exquisite slowness and tenderness.

She was uncomfortable at first and he had to pause, to give her time to absorb him.

"You're like a virgin all over again," he said huskily, s.h.i.+vering with the restraint he was exercising for her sake. "Relax. Relax, little one. Yes." He sighed and let his hips slowly merge with hers.

She moaned as he completed his possession, her arms clinging as she lifted to him. "Oh, Dane," she gasped, "it's been almost a year...."

"I know," he said with a heavy groan, and his body began to move with helpless urgency.

She laughed in spite of the pleasure and kissed him hungrily. He caught her hips in his hands, and in seconds she was incapable of laughter or speech.

It was like the night they'd made the baby. She wept in his arms as the rhythm built in her body and in her blood, his possession of her so achingly complete that she went rigid with pleasure and stopped breathing altogether when the first heated contractions shook her under his weight. He cried out as she went over the edge, and her eyes opened at that instant, misty with her own helpless fulfillment. She saw him arch and his face clench just before her senses exploded, and she heard her own voice shattering....

She knew they'd never achieved such pleasure before. She lay heavily against his warm, damp body when they were coherent again, listening to his steady heartbeat, feeling him breathe against her b.r.e.a.s.t.s.

"You love me," he said with shaky humor. "I'd know it now even if you hadn't said it twenty times while we were loving just now."

"You said it several times yourself," she gasped.

He drew her closer and kissed her tenderly. "I mean it," he said.

"Do you believe me now?"

756Diana Palmer She looked up into his soft, dark eyes. "Oh, yes," she agreed breathlessly, and blushed as she remembered the way it had been.

He bent and kissed her again with tenderness and possession. "I'd love to show you again, and again, and again," he whispered hus- kily. "But I hear the beginnings of a small thunderstorm."

She closed her eyes as he kissed her eyelids. "A small what?"

She smiled lovingly.

"Listen."

A tiny sound exploded suddenly into a wail of pure fury in the quiet bedroom.

"Are you hungry again?" she asked, aghast. She threw her dress back on and got up to look at little John, who was waving his tiny fists and turning puce. "Or are you wet?"

"Better check for yourself," he murmured dryly from the bed.

"As smart as he is, I doubt he's mastered enough English to answer you just yet."

She stuck out her tongue and proceeded to change a very wet diaper. As she was working on that, the telephone rang and Dane reached lazily across to answer it.