Princess Diaries Series: Third Time Lucky Part 18

Mr Gianini: That's what I thought. Because you know the penalty for pulling one of the fire alarms a" when there is,

in fact, no sign of a fire - is expulsion.

Me: Oh, yes. I know that.

Mr Gianini: I thought you might have seen who did it, since I believe I gave you a hall pa.s.s shortly before the alarm went off.

Me: Oh, no. I didn't see anybody.

Except Justin Baxendale, and his smoky eyelashes. But I didn't say that.

Mr Gianini: I didn't think so. Oh, well. If you ever hear who did it, maybe you could tell her from me never to do it again.

Me: Um. OK.

Mr. Gianini: And tell her thanks from me too. The last thing we need right now, with tensions running so high over Finals, is a student walkout.

(Mr. Gianini picked up his briefcase and jacket.) See you at home.

Then he winked at me. WINKED at me, like he knew I was the one who'd done it. But he couldn't know. I mean, he doesn't know about my nostrils (which were fully flaring the whole time; I could feel them!) Right? RIGHT????

Thursday; December 10, Homeroom Lilly is going to drive me crazy.

Seriously. Like it's not enough I have Finals and my introduction to Genovia and my love life and everything to worry about. I have to listen to Lilly complain about how the administration of Albert Einstein High is out to get her. The whole way to school this morning she just droned on and on about how it's all a plot to silence her because she once complained about the c.o.ke machine outside the gym. Apparently, the c.o.ke machine is indicative of the administration's efforts to turn us all into mindless soda-drinking, Gap-wearing clones.

If you ask me, this isn't really about c.o.ke, or the attempts by the school's administration to turn us into mindless pod-people. It's really just because Lilly's still mad she can't use a chapter of the book she's writing on the teen experience as her term paper.

I told Lilly if she doesn't submit a new topic, she's going to get an F as her nine-week grade. Factored in with her A for the

last nine weeks, that's only like a C, which will significantly lower her grade point average and put her chances of getting into Berkeley, which is her first-choice school, at risk. She may be forced to fall back on her safety school, Brown, which I know would be quite a blow.

She didn't even listen to me. She says she's having an organizational meeting of this new group (of which she is president) Students Against the Corporatization of Albert Einstein High School (SACAEHS) on Sat.u.r.day, and I have to come because

I am the group's secretary. Don't ask me how that happened. Lilly says I write everything down anyway so it shouldn't be any trouble for me.

I wish Michael had been there to defend me from his sister but, like he has every day this week, he took the subway to school early so he can work on his project for the Winter Carnival.

I wouldn't doubt Judith Gershner has been showing up at school on the early side too, this week.

Speaking of Michael, I picked up another greeting card, this one from the Plaza gift shop, on the way to Sebastiano's showroom last night. It's a lot better than that stupid one with the strawberry. This one has a picture of a lady holding a finger

to her lips. Inside it says, Shhhh . . .

Under that, I am having Tina write: Roses are red

But cherries are redder

Maybe she can clone fruit flies

But I like you better.

What I meant was that I like him more than Judith Gershner does, but I'm not really sure that comes through in the poem. Tina says it does, but Tina thinks I should have used love instead of like, so who knows if her opinion is of any value? This is a

poem clearly calling for a like and not a love.

I should know. I write enough of them.

Poems, I mean.

English Journal This semester we have read several novels, including To Kill a Mockingbird, Huckleberry Finn and The Scarlet Letter.

In your English journal please record your feelings about the books we have read, and books in general. What have been your most meaningful experiences as a reader? Your favourite books? Your host favourite?

Please utilize transitive sentences.

Books I Have Read, and

What They Meant to Me

by Mia Thermopolis Books That Were Good 1. Jaws a" I bet you didn't know that in the book version of this, Richard Dreyfuss and Roy Scheider's wife have s.e.x. But they do.

2. The Catcher in the Rye a" This is totally good. It has lots of bad words.

3. To Kill a Mockingbird a" This is an excellent book. They should do a movie version of this with Mel Gibson as Atticus, and he should blow Mr. Ewell away with a flame thrower at the end.

4. A Wrinkle in Time - Only we never find out the most important thing: whether or not Meg has b.r.e.a.s.t.s. I'm thinking she probably did, considering the fact that she already had the gla.s.ses and braces. I mean, all of that and flat-chested too? G.o.d wouldn't be so cruel.

5. Emanuelle - In the eighth grade, my best friend and I found this book on top of a rubbish bin on East Third Street. We took turns reading it out loud. It was very, very good. At least the parts I remember. My mom caught us reading

it and took it away before we'd gotten a chance to finish it.

Books That Sucked*

1. The Scarlet Letter - You know what would have been cool? If there had been a rift in the s.p.a.ce-time continuum and one of those Euro-trash terrorists Bruce Willis is always chasing in the Die Hard movies dropped a nuclear bomb on

the town where Arthur Dimmesdale and all those losers lived, and blew it sky high. That's about the only thing I can think of that would have made this book even remotely interesting.

2. Our Town - OK, this is a play and not a book, but they still made us read it and all I have to say about it is that, basically, you find out when you die that n.o.body cared about you and we're all alone for ever, the end. OK! Thanks

for that! I feel much better now!

3. The Mill on the Floss a" I don't want to give anything away here, but midway through the book, just when things were going good and there were all these hot romances (not as hot as in Emanuelle, though, so don't get your hopes up), someone very crucial to the plot DIES, which if you ask me is just a cop-out so the author could make her deadline on time.

4. Anne of Green Gables -All that blah-blah-blah about imagination. I tried to imagine some car chases or explosions that would actually make this book good, but I must be like all of Anne's drippy unimaginative friends, because I couldn't.

5. Little House on the Prairie - Little yawn on the big snore. I have all ninety-seven thousand of these books because people kept on giving them to me when I was little and all I have to say is if Half Pint had lived in Manhattan,, she'd have gotten her you-know-what kicked from here to Avenue D.

* Mrs Spears, I believe the word 'sucked' is transitive in this instance.

Thursday, December 10, Fourth Period No PE today!

Instead there is an a.s.sembly.