Our Admirable Betty Part 18

"And--er--" the Major glanced a little helplessly towards the tobacco-box, "he--he loves you and, er----"

"Mm!" said Lady Betty, biting the pen thoughtfully between white teeth.

"He loves me, sir--go on, I beg!"

"And being a lover he awaits you impatiently."

"And the others, sir."

"And the others of course, and here are you--I mean here am I----"

"You, Major John--but O why drag yourself into it?"

"I mean that whiles they wait for sight of you I--er--keep you here----"

"By main force, sir."

The Major laughed.

"They will be growing desperate, I doubt," said he.

"Well, let 'em, Major John, I prefer to be--kept here awhile. Pray be seated as you were."

He obeyed, though his usually serene brow was flushed and his gaze wandered towards the tobacco-box again, perceiving which, my lady placed it in his hand.

"As regards your nephew----"

"Meaning Tom."

"Meaning Pancras, sir, he plagued me monstrously this morning. I was alone within the bower and he had the extreme impertinence to--climb the wall."

"The deuce he did, mam!"

"It hath been done before, I think, sir!" she sighed. "Being stole into the arbour he set a cus.h.i.+on on the floor and his knees thereon and, referring to his tablets, spoke me thus: 'Here beginneth the one-hundred-and-forty-sixth supplication for the hand, the heart, the peerless body of the most adorable----' but I spare you the rest, sir.

Upon this, I, for the one-hundred and forty-sixth time incontinent refused him, whereupon he was for reading an ode he hath writ me, whereupon I, very naturally, sought to flee away, whereupon a great, vile, hugeous, ugly, monstrous, green and hairy caterpillar fell upon me--whereupon, of course, I swooned immediately."

"Poor child!" said the Major.

"The couch being comfortably near, sir."

"Couch!" exclaimed the Major, staring.

"Would you have me swoon on the floor, sir?"

"But if you swoon, mam----"

"I swoon gracefully, sir--'tis a family trait. I, being in a swoon, then, Major John, your nephew had the extreme temerity to--kiss me."

The Major looked highly uncomfortable.

"He kissed me here, sir!" and rosy finger-tip indicated dimpled chin.

"To be sure he aimed for my lips, but, by subtlety, I subst.i.tuted my chin which he kissed--O, pa.s.sionately!"

The Major dropped the tobacco-box.

"But I understand you--but you were swooning!" he stammered.

"I frequently do, Major John, I also faint, sir, as occasion doth demand."

"G.o.d bless my soul!" he exclaimed.

"And wherefore this amaze, sir?"

"'Fore Heaven, madam, I had not dreamed of such--such duplicity."

"O Innocence!" she cried.

"Do all fine ladies feign swoons, madam?"

"Major Innocence, they do! They swoon by rote and they faint by rule."

"Thank Heaven there be none to come swooning my way!" said he fervently.

"Dare you contemn the s.e.x, sir?

"Nay, I'm not so bold, madam, or sufficiently experienced."

"To be sure your knowledge of the s.e.x is limited, I understand."

"Very!"

"You have known but three ladies, I think?"

The Major bowed.

"Then I make the fourth, Major John."

"But indeed, I should never learn to know you in the least."

"Why, 'tis very well!" she nodded. "That which mystifies, attracts."

"Do you wish to attract?" he enquired, stooping for the tobacco-box.

"Sir, I am a woman!"

"True," he smiled, "for whose presence several poor gentlemen do sigh.

Let us join 'em."

"Ah! You wish to be rid of me!" She laid down the pen and, leaning chin on hand, regarded him with eyes of meekness. "Do you wish to be rid of me?" she enquired humbly. "Do I weary you with my idle chatter, most grave philosopher?" She had a trick of pouting red lips sometimes when thinking and she did so now as she waited her answer.