Oh! Susannah! Part 4

Pearl. We've got a nice thing in fathers, _(looking out of window)_ He's brought us up to London to put us on the market

Ruby. Yes, and by a cheap excursion. _(goes L.)_

Pearl. Now we know why we've come to encamp just across the street--it's to lay siege to a penniless cousin. _(picks up "Quayle on Muscles" off couch, takes it to table)_

Ruby. _(at small table up stage L., opens case, shrieks)_ Ach!

knives!

Pearl. _(looks up from book)_ _You_ wouldn't do for a doctor's wife, whatever Pa says, _(looks at picture)_ Besides, you're not free, but I am. _(sadly)_

Ruby. Pearl. there's Waverly! _(coming to her, looking over her shoulder at picture)_

Pearl. Yes, there's Waverly, but he's _(turns to next picture)_ most disappointing. He's been staying at Southsea with Lieutenant Merry for a whole week, _(turns page)_ and father's been away the whole time. _(turns page)_ And I've given him every possible encouragement. _(looks at picture)_ At least, of course I didn't go so far as _you_ did with Lieutenant Merry. You were--simply--_(turns page)_

Ruby. _(looking at picture)_ Shocking! _(shuts book and puts it back on couch)_

Pearl. Yes, you were! _(laughs)_

Ruby. How dare you! I never gave Andrew the slightest encouragement, _(sits on sofa)_

Pearl. My dear Ruby. I judge by results. He proposed to you the second day. _(comes and sits by her on sofa)_

Ruby. What about you? You let Waverly kiss you.

Pearl. Only once--just there; _(touches her cheek)_ and that was after a dance, which doesn't count. No, I've gone as far with Mr.

Vane as any girl, who isn't a born flirt, _(pointedly looking at Ruby)_ can go, and he's said nothing--yet So I'm going to get father to invite Doctor Sheppard down to Southsea, and I'll flirt _desperately_ with him.

_(Ruby crosses C.)_You see, I shall be obeying father--I shall get you out of your difficulty, and it will force _Waverly_ to say something--definite, _(sits on the word)_

Ruby. Oh, Pearl! What a clever idea! _(thinks)_ _Andrew_ hasn't been _quite_ so attentive since I accepted him. And, as you say, dear papa must be obeyed, so I'll flirt with Doctor Sheppard too, before Andrew--it'll do him a _world_ of good.

Pearl. Doctor Sheppard!

Ruby. No, _Andrew_, of course. Oh, Pearl. I wonder how they're getting on without us? Do they ever talk about us, do you think?

Pearl. Of course they do--_everybody_ talks about us--in Southsea.

Andrew. _(heard off)_ Not in? P'raps he's got a patient.

_(laughs)_

Ruby. It's Andrew! How do I look? _(jumps up and looks in mirror)_

_(Pearl tries to pull her away from it--Enter Andrew. followed by Waverly.)_

Waverly. _(looking at girls' backs and nudges Andrew)_ P'raps he's got two patients.

Andrew. Oh, Susannah! _(takes double stethoscope off table, aside to Waverly)_ Let's have a lark. I'll pretend to be the doctor.

Waver. No, no, never joke about business, _(scuffles to get stethoscope)_

_(Ruby looks round.)_

Andrew. Ruby! _(goes to her with outstretched arms)_

_(Pearl looks round.)_

Waver. _(aside)_ Pearl! Oh, lor! _(goes down r.)_ Pearl.

_(coyly)_ Mr. Vane! What attraction has brought you all the way from Southsea? _(follows him)_

_(Waverly looks confused.)_

Andrew. _(to Ruby)_ What's brought you? We called at Clarence Parade this morning and found that you'd flown up to London by the excurs--the early train, so we thought what a lark it'd be to run up on the chance of meeting you.

Waver. We didn't expect to find you at the doctor's.

Andrew. No. _(to Ruby. anxiously)_ Are you ill?

Ruby. _(laughing)_ No.

Waver, _(to Pearl. wearily)_ Don't say it's _you_.

Pearl. I'm _never_ ill. What's the matter with you?

Waver. _I've_ only come with _Andrew_, _(tries to cross to Andrew)_

_(Pearl pulls him back.)_

Ruby. _(screams)_ Oh Andrew. then it's _you!!!_ What's the matter with you?

Andrew. _(laughing)_ Nothing! Sound me if you like. _(offers stethoscope)_

Ruby. But _why_ have you come to see a _doctor_?

Andrew. _(laughs)_ I haven't--I've brought Vane to introduce him to my old school-fellow, dear old, serious, studious, short-sighted, absent-minded Jack Sheppard.

Ruby and Pearl. _(together)_ You know _Jack_?

Waver, and Andrew. _(surprised)_ Jack?

Ruby. Cousin Jack! Didn't you know?

Andrew. No, you never told us you _had_ any cousins. What a lark! Jack's my greatest friend--because we're such opposites, I suppose. I call him Dull Boy, because "all work and no play makes Jack------" see? Rather smart for me, and he calls me "Merry Andrew"--Andrew Merry--Merry Andrew--see? Oh, that was Jolly smart for Jack--only joke he ever made.

_(Ruby sits on couch--Andrew behind couch.)_

Waver. Why have you never mentioned his name?

Ruby. We haven't seen him since he was a little boy in kilts.